Mariana Zapata Quotes

Diana, would you marry someone for money?" I asked her out of the blue one afternoon during her lunch break. Without missing a beat, she made a contemplative noise. "It depends.How much money?"
It was right then I knew I'd called the wrong person. I should have dialed Oscar, my slightly younger brother, instead. He'd always been wise beyond his years. Diana...not so much.
I only told her the partial truth. "What if someone bought you a house?"
She "hmmed" and then "hmmed" a little more. "A nice house?"
"It wouldn't be a mansion, you greedy whore, but I'm not talking about a dump or anything either." I figured at least.

I just kept on crying. For my dad. For my mom, For my siblings. For myself. For not feeling good enough. For not feeling enough. For doing what I wanted to do despite all the noes and the eye rolls and all the things I'd had to give up along the way. All the things I'd lost that I might someday regret more than I already did.

I'm still friends with people who have done me wrong because I know they're sorry. Doesn't mean I have to trust them as much as I used to.

Fine. It was fine. Everything was okay; at least it would be.

And just like a dream, there were no assurances behind it. It didn't grow on its own. It didn't blossom without food to feed it. It was the greatest in its subtleties. It was the strongest in its selflessness.

From what I'd seen in such a short amount of time, the tattoos weren't just random crap people would regret when they were elderly. The pieces clients got seemed to be so much more than that. They were memorials and declarations. They were outpourings of love and pain. Letters and images, icons and symbolism, personal and eternal. It

Beauty fades, a good personality and chemistry doesn't. "I

Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?"

His mouth stayed in the same smirking smile and he nodded. "One hundred percent."

"You know I'm crazy."

"You're my best friend. I know you're crazy.

I loved him and it wasn't even a little bit. It was a lotta bit.

I thought that someone liked me, but I realized that maybe it wasn't the same kind of attraction that I was hoping for.

My poor heart didn't know it could love so much.

Someone who makes me laugh." The twitching went into overdrive. "Are you making stuff up?" Because, really? Kulti laughing? Ha.

Like football and art, like anything that anyone in the world has ever wanted, love was a dream. And just like a dream, there were no assurances behind it. It didn't grow on its own. It didn't blossom without food to feed it. It was the greatest in its subtleties. It was the strongest in its selflessness. And it could be forever with someone who wasn't afraid to never give up on the possibilities it presents.

Honest to god, I think I said something remarkably close to, "Ermghard." What the hell did that even mean? I had no idea, but it seemedfitting.

didn't realize I was crying until the tears hit my chin and plummeted to my shirt. Fire burned my nose. Five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve-thirteen-and-fourteen-year-old Vanessa all came back to me with the same feeling that had been so strong in those years: hurt. The Vanessa who was fifteen and older had felt a different emotion for so long: anger. Anger at my mom's selfishness. Anger at her for not being able to clean her act up until years after we'd been taken away from her. Anger for being let down for so long, time and time again.

If I couldn't stand up for what I believed in, then I wasn't the person I strived to be.

They had found out.

Before I could panic, I made myself stretch my fingers wide and take a calming breath. You already knew this was bound to happen. At least that's what I told myself.

The more I thought about it, the more I should have been appreciative that the people at the chapel in Las Vegas hadn't recognized him. Or that people on the street had been oblivious and hadn't seen us going in and out of there. Or that the receptionist at the acupuncturist hadn't snapped a picture on her phone and posted it online.

Because I might not understand all people, much less most of them, but I understood nosey folks. And nosey folks would do something like that without a second thought. Yet, I reminded myself that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

It would be fine. So, one gossip site posted about us getting married. Whoop-de-do. There was probably a thousand sites just like it.

I briefly thought about Diana hearing about it, but I'd deal with that later. There was no use in getting scared now. She was the only one whose reaction I cared about. My mom and sisters' opinions and feelings weren't exactly registering at the top of my list now… or ever. I made myself shove them to the back of my thoughts. I was tired of being mad and upset; it affected my work. Plus, they'd made me sad and mad enough times in my life. I wasn't going to let them ruin another day.

Picking my phone up again, I quickly texted Aiden b

You can't be that overprotective if you didn't love someone.

No eclipse could overshadow the fact that I was absolutely in love with this guy, and it was the easiest and simplest thing in the world.

Because every relationship will end up one of two ways: you'll end up breaking up, or you end up
marrying the person. And I don't like wasting my time.

love was a dream. And just like a dream, there were no assurances behind it. It didn't grow on its own. It didn't blossom without food to feed it. It

My middle finger twitched, but I kept it under wraps and with its brothers and sisters. We

Two seconds went by before I got a response.

Lenny: The offer stands, bish.

Lenny: You're the best person I know, fyi.

I smiled down at my phone.

Me: I love you too

Lenny: [eye rolling emoji]

Lenny: I was texting you because Grandpa G is making margaritas and he was asking where you were.

Me: Tell him I love him.

Lenny: I will. You find Rip?

Me: I'm watching him.

Lenny: Stalker

Me: He's standing in front of me, I can't help it.

Lenny: Pretty sure that's what every stalker thinks.

I chanced another glance at the man and held back a sigh.

Me: Sometimes I don't understand why him.

Lenny: Because he looks like he's been in jail and that's about as far away from what every jackass you've ever dated looks like?

Lenny: Grandpa G says he loves you too and to come over and bring the girl with you if she's around. I didn't tell him you're at the bar, otherwise he'd want to invite himself. You know how that man gets in public.

I almost laughed at the first comment and definitely laughed at the second one. Rip did look like he'd done time. That was unfair, but it was the truth.

For all I knew, he probably had.

Then again, I was probably judging him by a face he had no say in. For all I knew, he had a marshmallow heart and rescued and rehabilitated small animals when he wasn't at wor

I would do anything for you.

I fell in love with the voice in the dark. No joke, no exaggeration. It was a pure, raw love.

He cocked his neck from one side to the other as if trying to stretch the muscles. A long huff escaped from his mouth. "I've always told myself that when I have kids, I'm gonna to spoil the shit out of 'em."

I couldn't help but smile, though I kept my gaze forward. Dex as a dad? A bad-mouthed dad?

Dex smiled right then, morphing something inside of me that I couldn't completely recognize. The moment and intent was too heavy for me to bear. I didn't want to think of what all this honesty was doing to my insides. "You know what?"

He grunted.

"Your kids will probably come out of the womb saying the f-bomb."

"Fuck," he laughed loudly, confirming my guess. "You're probably right, babe."

I tilted my face to look at him, meeting those blue eyes that I knew even without the light, were the brightest blue I'd ever seen. "Little f-bomb dropping hell raisers. I can totally see it.

I wasn't one to usually show off Lucy and Ethel because I was self-conscious of them, but money was money.

Is the sun the biggest object in space?" he asked me in an even, determined voice. I had to think about that one for all of a split second before I shook my head, confused at what he was asking. "No." "How do you explain to the sun that there are stars far away that dwarf it?" He lowered his face to mine. "I've liked you from the moment I met you." He blinked, his eyebrows knitting together in surprise. "Damn, Gaby. I'm fucking crazy about you.

The German shook his head. "No. No more. I won't let you down; now stop crying. It makes me nauseous.

Life was all about choices. You chose what to make out of what you had. And I wasn't going to let it make me its bitch. I could be a mature adult who knew her limits. I could be a good person. Maybe not all the time, but enough.

An escape sometimes, anything is welcome even if you think it's boring because it's probably not compared to things here.

I was here. I was fine. It was a beautiful day, and I was around people who gave me more love and happiness in a month than I'd had for seventeen years.

I would never have to see those jerks again.

And today was going to be a good day, damn it.

So I got it together and finally looked back down at my best friend to ask, "Did I tell you I stole a bottle of Visine once because I wanted to put a few drops into my dad's coffee, but I always chickened out?"

Lenny snickered. "No. Psycho. Did I tell you that one time I asked Santa to bring my mom back?"

I made a face. "That's sad, Lenny." I blinked. "I pretty much did the same thing."

"Uh-huh."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Did I ever tell you that I wanted to have like ten kids when I was younger?"

The laugh that came out of her wasn't as strong as it usually was, but I was glad she let it out anyway. It sounded just like her, loud and direct and so full of happiness it was literally infectious. "Ten? Jesus, why?"

I wrinkled my nose at her. "It sounded like a good number."

The scoff that came out of her right then was a little louder. "You're fucking nuts, Luna. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten-ten?"

"That's what ten means." I grinned at her. "I said that was back when I was younger, not any time recently. I can't afford ten kids."

"Still. How about… none?"

I glanced

I've always figured that people in the upper echelon of beauty - sans Mason - were incapable of doing the ridiculous things that semi-attractive people like myself do; like fart or burp in front of others, smell or have stinky shit.

If there was one thing I'd learned over the last few years, it was that just because you cared about someone, and just because they made it seem like they cared about you too, didn't really mean a single thing at the end of the day.

You can't always wait for someone else to do the right thing when you can do it yourself.

Extra money? I never said no to extra money. Unless it required a blowjob.

Right then, in that moment, Dex The Dick grinned. Grinned. And sweet mother of God, it was devastating. So completely catastrophic I just stood there and absorbed the nuclear bomb going off in front of me, defenseless.

It was a testament to my lack of shit-giving that I was able to get all my things together in less than half an hour.

I haven't done a single thing in my life to deserve you, schnecke, but I will never give up on you, and I won't let you give up on me.

But hey, I had the best times during each sprint," I added.

His laugh was soft and possibly a little disappointed. "That's my girl. Running every morning?"

"Every morning and I've been swimming more." I stopped talking when I heard a voice in the background.

All I heard was my dad mumbling, "It's Sal… you wanna talk to her?... Okay… Sal, your mom says hi."

"Tell her I said hi back."

"My daughter says hi… no, she's mine. The other one is yours… Ha! No!... Sal are you mine or your mom's?" he asked me.

"I'm the milkman's."

"I knew it!" He finally laughed with a deep pleased sigh.

I was smiling like a total fool. "I love you too, old man.

Sonny's lips twisted in a way I'd only seen once before. Barely restrained anger hid beneath the thick layer of his red-brown beard. "That f**king dumbass," he ground out. He cocked his head to one side, and then the other. A deep breath blew out from between his lips. "I'm gonna knock his teeth in."

He was being completely serious. So, so serious about defending my honor, I couldn't help it.

I started laughing.

"It's fine." I snorted. "Son, it's really fine. Knock his teeth in another day." I laughed again. "Or maybe once I find another job, okay? Then you can bust all his teeth and his kneecaps for all I care."

Those hazel eyes that were an exact replica of mine, narrowed. And then he quirked a little smile. "His kneecaps too?"

I shrugged. "Why not? Call him a friggin' idiot while you do it."

Sonny shook his head, full out grinning by that point. "To think I used to call you a good girl. My little sis telling me to break someone's kneecaps. You might make me cry, Ris." He leaned forward across the armchair I was sitting in and ruffled my hair. "Thatta girl."

I snorted and batted his hand away.

Home is where you are. I would go anywhere for you if you wanted me there.

One of the worst things in the world was watching someone you love fall apart.

I made it three days before the text messages started one afternoon while I was trying to finish warming up before our afternoon session. I had gotten to the LC later than usual and had gone straight to the training room, praising Jesus that I'd decided to change my clothes before leaving the diner once I'd seen what time it was and had remembered lunchtime traffic was a real thing. I was in the middle of stretching my hips when my phone beeped from where I'd left it on top of my bag. I took it out and snickered immediately at the message after taking my time with it.

Jojo: WHAT THE FUCK JASMINE

I didn't need to ask what my brother was what-the-fucking over. It had only been a matter of time. It was really hard to keep a secret in my family, and the only reason why my mom and Ben - who was the only person other than her who knew - had kept their mouths closed was because they had both agreed it would be more fun to piss off my siblings by not saying anything and letting them find out the hard way I was going to be competing again.

Life was all about the little things.

So, I'd slipped my phone back into my bag and kept stretching, not bothering to respond because it would just make him more mad.

Twenty minutes later, while I was still busy stretching, I pulled my phone out and wasn't surprised more messages appeared.

Jojo: WHY WOULD YOU NOT TELL ME

Jojo: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

Jojo: DI

He annoyed me, but I was also annoyed with myself for letting his attitude bother me. All

Love to me was honesty. Being real. Knowing someone's best and worst. Love was a push that said someone believed in you when you didn't.

You're mine, RC. That's not changing.

Have you talked to her recently?"

I shook my head. "You?"

"No." He turned around and took a step forward just as he made it to the counter. Over his shoulder, he asked, "Did you not tell her we're partners then?"

Shit. "No." I paused. I had assumed he would. "You haven't told her either?"

"No."

"Your parents?"

"They're in Russia. I haven't spoken to them since worlds. Mother has sent me a few picture messages, but that's been all our communication."

Double shit. "I thought you would have told them."

"I thought you would have told Karina."

"I don't talk to her as much as I used to. She's busy with medical school."

I could only manage to see the back of Ivan's head as he nodded, slowly and thoughtfully, like he was thinking the same thing I was. And his next words confirmed it. "She's going to kill us."

Because she was. She sure as fuck was.

"Call her and tell her," I tried to throw it on him.

"You call and tell her," he scoffed, not looking at me.

I poked him in the back. "She's your sister."

"She's your only friend."

"Asshole," I muttered. "Let's flip a coin to see who should do it."

That time he did glance at me. "No."

No. Ass.

"I'm not doing it."

"Me neither."

"Don't be a pussy and do it," I hissed, trying to keep my voice low.

His snic

What is a can of a whoop-ass and where can I get one?

Diana" was the first thing out of her mouth. "I'm dying," the too familiar voice on the other end moaned.

I snorted, locking the front door behind me as I held the phone up to my face with my shoulder. "You're pregnant. You're not dying."

"But it feels like I am," the person who rarely ever complained whined. We'd been best friends our entire lives, and I could only count on one hand the number of times I'd heard her grumble about something that wasn't her family. I'd had the title of being the whiner in our epic love affair that had survived more shit than I was willing to remember right then.

I held up a finger when Louie tipped his head toward the kitchen as if asking if I was going to get started on dinner or not. "Well, nobody told you to get pregnant with the Hulk's baby. What did you expect? He's probably going to come out the size of a toddler."

The laugh that burst out of her made me laugh too. This fierce feeling of missing her reminded me it had been months since we'd last seen each other. "Shut up."

"You can't avoid the truth forever." Her husband was huge. I didn't understand why she wouldn't expect her unborn baby to be a giant too.

"Ugh." A long sigh came through the receiver in resignation. "I don't know what I was thinking - "

"You weren't thinking."

She ignored me. "We're never having another one. I can't sleep. I have to pee every two minutes. I'm the size of Mars - "

If something happened to you, I wouldn't be okay. I would never be okay.

Dallas," I whispered. "You really don't owe me anything. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"None. Stop wasting your breath."
Did he stop what he was doing? No. He didn't.
"You are so fucking stubborn," I said.
"Pot meet your kettle.

Remember that idiotic question you asked me in the car? About what would happen when you can't play soccer any longer?" He didn't wait for any acknowledgment. "Nothing would happen. We would have a different adventure to go on. You are my best friend, my love, my playmate and my teammate. You'll have a team with me wherever we are, with whatever we are playing.

I smiled at him, trying to tell him with my eyes that I wanted him to love me back.

It was about everything. About life and death, and white and black and gray. It was about having to be tough when you weren't used to it. About having to grow when you'd thought you were done growing. In the back of my head, I knew what I'd said didn't make any damn sense. But how could I explain? How could I begin to tell him that I had lost a part of myself with my brother's death, and I was trying so hard to keep what I had left together with duct tape and paper clips?

I was going to murder his ass. One day. One day long after I quit, so no one would suspect me.

Dumbass, I mouthed before I could stop myself and be better. Meatball, he mouthed back.

Back when I'd been sick, I'd always dreaded hearing other words. Spread. Lymph nodes. Amputation. Those words, those possibilities, make you grow up quick. They made me remember to prioritize correctly, to value and appreciate. But mainly the branches of those words scared me so much, I wanted to live even if it wasn't always going to be fun and games.

Hell, better than watching Robby Lingus porn.

He's difficult, isn't he?"
"That's the understatement of a lifetime," I told Franz. "What a pain in the ass. I really don't know how someone hasn't killed him in cold blood yet.

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You've gotta be the best thing I never knew I wanted.

Mostly though, Rubes, I want to go back in time and beat every single person's ass who's ever made you doubt yourself, because the girl who makes me smile 'til my face hurts even on a shit day needs to see that in herself. I feel like I owe it to you." Aaron

It was a blinding kind of thing, this unbelievable friendship - this love - I had with and for him. It was mine and it made me happy, and I reveled in it.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit terrified. The fact was, I could either let my fear of the unknown make me a victim, or take control of my career.
There wasn't really a choice in the matter.
You don't get to live your dreams by waiting around for someone to hand them to you.
Or at the very least, you hold on to them for dear life when others try and take them away.

What the fuck was wrong with me, I wondered. I wished there was a version of Pepto Bismol for verbal diarrhea, because I'd invest in it. My

Tall and still in fantastic shape, my poor, stupid, stupid heart gave a little thump in recognition of an attractive man. Then I stomped it to death and reminded myself he was just a guy.

Everyone, Jasmine, everyone that's an athlete - that's successful - has had to give up a lot. Some of us more than others. You're not the first person, and you're not the last person that sees that and feels bad about it," he started to say, his voice steady and even. "You don't get to become good at anything without sacrificing something to make time."

I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes and tried again. "Successful people, Ivan. It's worth it if you're successful, not if you're not.

His gaze was unflinching and solid. If someone could have light sabers in their eyes, it would be him.

I woke up screaming. Or pretty close to screaming, considering I was still getting over a cold I'd caught from Josh two weeks ago that had left me sounding like a chain-smoker going through puberty.

Unfortunately, you don't get to choose family, Sonny had told me once. But you do get to choose everyone else. In this case, I was cherry picking who I was going to spend the gift of my life with.

Because I'm okay with you having ten other people be your favorite. But you're always going to be my favorite person.

I wanted someone to love me like that. I wanted you to love me like that.

I hadn't just backed up the toilet; I'd made the septic tank flood the house.

All I could think about as I stood there was that sometimes life gave you a tragedy that burned everything you knew to the ground and changed you completely. But somehow, if you really wanted to, you could learn how to hold your breath as you made your way through the smoke left in its wake and you could keep going. And sometimes, sometimes, you could grow something beautiful from the ashes that were left behind. If you were lucky.

Who am I going to sit with at lunch? Who is going to let me borrow a pencil if I need one?" he pleaded out the question like a total drama queen. I wasn't sure where the hell he'd picked that up from.

My real question was: why wouldn't he have a pencil to begin with? I'd bought him a value pack and mechanical pencils.

I was going to slap him. On the ass so I wouldn't ruin his photogenic face.

The only people in the world who can hurt you are those you let have that ability,

You couldn't control or anticipate a person who didn't care. They were wildcards.

I want my goddamn Luna back," he breathed, stealing the air from my lungs. "I don't want you to leave me alone. I want you bugging my ass for random shit again. I wanna see your fucking face first thing in the morning, even if you don't bring me my coffee anymore. I wanna make you something to eat so you don't end up with Salmonella from that shit you try to cook,

There are some things you couldn't say with words.

no one was impervious to Little Foot losing his mom. Nobody.

The urge to fall to the ground, rip my heart out of my chest and hold it out like a sacred offering was overwhelming. /Take it! Take it all!/ I'd cry.

I'm about five seconds away from going to kick Jonathan's mom's ass, and then kicking her mom's ass afterward to teach them both a lesson.

A fan of that ass, more than likely, I figured.

How do I look?"
He drew the pad of his finger over my fake mustache. "Like the best thing I've ever seen." And then he kissed me again.

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Clowns."

Clowns? "Really?" I tried to imagine a tiny Aiden crying over men and women with overly painted faces and red noses, but I couldn't.

The big guy was still facing me. His expression clear and even, as he dipped his chin. "Eh."

God help me, he'd gone Canadian on me. I had to will my face not to react at the fact he'd gone with the one word he usually used only when he was super relaxed around other people. "I thought they were going to eat me."

Now imagining that had me cracking a little smile. I slid my palm under my cheek. "How old were you? Nineteen?"

Those big chocolate-colored eyes blinked, slow, slow, slow. His dark pink lips parted just slightly. "Are you making fun of me?" he drawled.

"Yes." The fractures of my grin cracked into bigger pieces.

"Because I was scared of clowns?" It was like he couldn't understand why that was amusing.

But it was. "I just can't imagine you scared of anything, much less clowns. Come on. Even I've never been scared of clowns."

"I was four."

I couldn't help but snicker. "Four… fourteen, same difference."

Based on the mule-ish expression on his face, he wasn't amused. "This is the last time that I come over to save you from the boogeyman."

Shocked out of my mind for a split second, I tried to pretend like I wasn't, but… I was. He was joking with me. Aiden was in bed joking around. With me. "I'm sorry. I'm

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Don't ever do that to me again. I'm too young to die of a heart attack." (...)
"I would say claiming you're too young is a bit debatable, don't you think?"
The German tilted his head up and cursed something low and long in German. "You were brought to this planet to give me an ulcer, weren't you?

requisite for a future boyfriend or husband.

Life could be brutally short, and happiness was never guaranteed.

Vanessa…" He trailed off with a frown.

The next three sentences we shared between the two of us were going to be the last thing I thought about when I went to bed later that night.

"You've been with me for two years, but I figure I'm barely beginning to understand," the big guy claimed, his expression solemn.

"Understand what?"

"I should probably be scared of you.

Being judged and found lacking by the people who were supposed to love you never left anyone feeling all right.

Baby, just 'cuz you're cute doesn't mean I wasn't bein' serious about spankin' your tight little ass for doin' dumb shit, Ritz. You do it again, and you're gonna get it.

I'm not crying." "You are the worst liar I have ever met." He moved to rub my shoulder. "Why are you upset?" Every time he asked, I somehow managed to cry harder, my body shaking more; there were actual noises coming out of me. "It's stupid." "More than likely, but tell me anyway," he said in a gentle voice.

Apparently, she had gobbled up the information like a hooker would a penis.

What no one tells you is that the road to accomplishing your goals isn't a straight line; it looks more like a corn maze. You stopped, you went, you backed up, and took a few wrong turns along the way, but the important thing you had to remember was that there was an exit. Somewhere. You just couldn't give

He turned his head so slowly, it was honestly a little creepy. But the way he looked at me…? I wouldn't know how to describe it. The only thing I knew for sure was it made the space between my shoulder blades tickle.

My birthday? Is he gay?" Eli asked me with a confused look on his face.

What happened next, I would never have been able to predict. But it happened.

We both went "OOOOOOOOH" at the bullshit that came out of his mouth like we were in fifth grade and had made a really good "yo mama" joke.

We went "OOOOOOOOH" so deep and into it, totally unexpected, that it lasted maybe three seconds before we both burst out laughing, my head crying no at the movement and my back aching, but I did it anyway.

Kill them with kindness.

Yep, I went from seeing red to seeing fucking magenta.