Birdwell Shorts Quotes

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four. ~ Dan Birdwell

Don't do those things, you'll wish you could change. ~ Mary Ray Birdwell

Regrets are non-refundable. ~ Mary Ray Birdwell

The easiest and full of fun way to teach your children alphabet!!. Introducing "The Grocery Cart Spree Writing ABCs" story book by Doris Hankamer. ~ Doris Birdwell Hankamer

Who is the best the sportswriter who wore shorts? I keep trying to envision Grantland Rice or John Lardner in shorts. It never occurred to me to wear shorts. I'd look too silly to wear shorts. ~ Dan Jenkins

I personally am not a shorts-wearing guy. That goes for any form of shorts, beside sports shorts, that I have to wear. ~ James Wolk

I don't tan on my upper thighs, so when I first wore those [ cut-off jean short shorts] I look like I was walking on two cans of milk. ~ Blake Jenner

I tend to think shorts are too casual That's just not businesslike. ~ Dale Carnegie

I'd do a podcast about guys wearing shorts when it's too cold. ~ David Letterman

Veggard Heggem, my word, he must have a Yamaha down his shorts. ~ Terry Butcher

You keep finding me. And I don't know how or why." "You're the one who showed me where you live. ~ Shelena Shorts

Fabregas literally carries 10 yards of space around in his shorts. ~ Ray Wilkins

Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts? ~ Zach Braff

You made your own jean shorts ... with a butter knife? ~ Richelle Mead

I never want to be seen in my boxer shorts ever again. ~ Christian Cooke

I like playing a guy who wears pants as opposed to shorts. ~ Diedrich Bader

I prefer little hotpant-like shorts, but I wear thongs too. ~ Lucy Pinder

There was a time when caddies couldn't wear shorts. ~ Dan Jenkins

I just wanted to see how the shorts felt again. ~ Rafael Nadal

The perfect shorts are always important. ~ Britt Robertson

I used to trip over my legs and get detention for my too-short shorts because none fit. I still trip, but now I like to show them off. ~ Maggie Grace

Success sometimes can really bite you in the shorts. ~ Donny Osmond

He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing helium kangaroo shorts. ~ Andy Van Slyke

Michael Jordan always wore his Carolina shorts under his Bulls' uniform. ~ Lorrie Fair

What's with the shorts?" "There's a new fitness trainer. Jamaican gal . . . tall, gorgeous." "And . . . ?" "Bike shorts show off my package." "Jesus Christ." "Jealousy is an ugly thing, Joe." "Get in the fucking car. ~ Jonathan Maberry

I don't want to smoke cigars or go to stag parties, wear jockey shorts or pick up the check. ~ Shelley Winters

A lot of women in the summer nowadays are just a bunch of stuffed shorts. ~ Rod Brasfield

I sing about UFOs and extraterrestrials, and so I designed a UFO fashion. It includes science-fiction bikinis and Bermuda Triangle shorts. ~ Nina Hagen

Roderick Spode is the founder of the Saviours of Britain, a fascist organisation better know as the 'Black Shorts' ...
When you say 'shorts' mean 'shirts', of course.
No. By the time Spode formed his association, there were no shirts left. He and his adherents wear black shorts.
Footer bags, you mean?
Yes.
How perfectly foul. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

A lot of people say, 'AC/DC - that's the band with the little guy who runs around in school shorts!' ~ Angus Young

I might play in shorts, but I wear the pants. ~ LeBron James

Desjardins was literally fuming. His tattered robes still smoked from battle. (Carter says I shouldn't mention that his pink boxer shorts were showing, but they were!) ~ Rick Riordan

After a couple of attempts at making shorts, I decided to make a feature film with a friend, Tom Hall, whom I've worked with ever since. ~ John Carney

I was always writing scripts, and I had made several shorts, before and after film school. But I worked a variety of temp positions over the years. ~ Geoffrey S. Fletcher

I love shorts in the colder climates, because you can wear them with chunky sweaters and jackets. It's cute and funky. ~ Rachel Bilson

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts. ~ Woody Allen

The front of his shorts are tented with what appears to be a very aggressive, very large, erect penis and I seriously cannot wait to yank his shorts off so I can see this wonder in the flesh. ~ Monica Murphy

Wearing: shorts + a jersey = a visual oxymoron. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Oh, I just wasted two hundred dollars on a gym membership, which I didn't use…even once. My shorts are getting shorter. Lately I've been looking like a slut - unintentionally of course. ~ Danielle Esplin

When I had people scratchin' my shorts a bit, it played better. We lost a bit of that in all the personnel changes and it's an element we need to get back. ~ Tom Bergeron

What I feel for you runs deeper than my thoughts, and deeper than my heart. The place where I find the most love for you is in my soul. ~ Shelena Shorts

I don't wear mini-skirts or shorts because I have thread veins on my legs and cellulite, and I won't wear tights. ~ Marie Helvin

It sounds like a cliche but there are no shorts cuts. You have to be very dedicated and challenge yourself everyday to be better. ~ Casey Stoney

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts. ~ Rick Riordan

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer. ~ Rita Rudner

There are only three men in the world who are licensed to wear shorts: Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and Tom Cruise. ~ Bill Nighy

I love sundresses and I love shorts. ~ Ashley Tisdale

Everything about her was erotic, and she wasn't even trying. His cock throbbed in appreciation of her femininity.
Should have jerked one out after all.
Walking awkwardly, Kellen clutched his laundry to his waist, hoping to hide what was going on in his shorts.
Her shorts.
Fuck! Stop thinking like that, moron. You're going to rip her shorts in half if you get any harder. How are you going to explain that to her?
Excuse me, Dawn. I seem to have damaged your shorts with my raging hard-on. Do you have something a bit hardier I could wear? Perhaps something made of thick leather or stainless steel. ~ Olivia Cunning

My style is ghetto chic. I love tacky jewelry, mega heels, high-waisted shorts, catsuits. ~ Jessie J.

Seersucker and khaki suits are the key to looking put-together in the summer. I also wear shorts year-round. And I would never say never, but I don't wear sandals. With shorts, it's wing tips and tennis socks. ~ Thom Browne

They used to have a fish on the menu that was smoked, grilled and peppered They did everything to this fish but pistol-whip it and dress it in Bermuda shorts. ~ Bill Geist

Women of color, particularly Black girls from economically challenged strati, we are told from the minute you start showing signs of being able to be impregnated: Don't get pregnant. You can't have sex because you might get pregnant. You can't wear short shorts because you might get pregnant. Don't talk to boys because you might get pregnant. ~ Staceyann Chin

At age 22 I set what I insist is an all-time record for distance hitchhiking in Bermuda shorts: 3,700 miles in three weeks. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts. ~ Dennis Franz

It completely sickens me what our culture is doing to women. Last week I wore a big top and little shorts and a bunch of stuff came out saying I was without pants. 'The No-Pants Look,' it said. And I didn't go out without pants, I had shorts on ... If Olivia Wilde had gone to a party with a big silky top and little shorts she might have been told her outfit was cute ... What it was really: 'Why did you show us your thighs'? ~ Lena Dunham

…we have to make the decision in time, we have to mark it, put it in the envelope, stick a stamp on it, and mail it back. We can't just decide, but then let the deadline pass, because if we do, it's like we never made the decision to begin with. ~ Shelena Shorts

The hole in the shoulder of his T shirt was not a cute hole. The excess material in the seat of his seersucker shorts, the excess length of the shorts themselves, were not cute excesses. ~ J.D. Salinger

Change his mind. Tell him you're sorry you grilled his shorts. That you're sorry you've got ice running through your veins . ~ C.C. Hunter

If you go to a film festival and watch a bunch of features and then watch a bunch of shorts, you will almost always find that the shorts are where people are taking more risks and pushing more boundaries ... simply because they have much less to lose. ~ Don Hertzfeldt

I'm searching for some exit poll data from California. I'll eat my shorts if gay and lesbian voters went for McCain at anything approaching the rate that black voters went for Prop 8. ~ Dan Savage

People in bigger towns are very aware of their surroundings. The people in the smaller markets, they will show up with flip-flops and shorts and just kind of already have a buzz on. ~ Pauly Shore

You can't live your life thinking death is going to come all the time. You have to live life and if it comes, then we can only hope we were able to do all the things we wanted. He has to want to do something. Everyone does. ~ Shelena Shorts

Yeah, it's real easy to look in the mirror and be proud when you're wearing pleated shorts. And you know what's really pathetic? I don't even have any dividends to get tax-decreased. When'll they cut taxes on not-having-health-insurancends? ~ David Rees

I did 'Echo Beach,' a surfing drama that meant I was often topless. Next came 'Demons,' and the opening sequence had me in my boxer shorts; and then there was a scene in 'Trinity' with me walking around in boxer shorts. It was only one scene in each series. ~ Christian Cooke

One night, Don Henley called, and I told him, 'I'm washing dishes and bike shorts.' He said, 'It's in the domestic exercises of life that one will find the biggest inspiration.' And he was right. ~ Sheryl Crow

The emancipation of today displays itself mainly in cigarettes and shorts ... painted lips and nails, and the return of trailing skirts and other absurdities of dress which betoken the slave-woman's intelligent companionship. ~ Sylvia Pankhurst

For as long as I could remember, he had never worn a single piece of clothing that could be considered casual. Khaki shorts and golf shirts, to Umberto, were the garments of men who have no virtues left, not even shame. ~ Anne Fortier

Theatrically, you are aware of every part of you in acting; every component of your surroundings, including the clothes you wear. Eh ... in voiceover, shorts and a t-shirt and badaboom ... done. ~ Atticus Shaffer

The door opened, and we were met by a fifty-something man with a grizzled blond beard. He was wearing Bermuda shorts and a Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt. Also, he had an eye patch. "This is incredible," I heard Adrian murmur. "Beyond my wildest dreams. ~ Richelle Mead

I grew up on Nickelodeon.On All That and Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Salute Your Shorts and Rocco's Modern Life and all that. That was my generation. ~ Drake Bell

I think my daughter actually influences my style more than having boys. I tend to dress more masculine with pants or shorts or flat boots, and she makes me want to dress more stylish, more girly. ~ Kourtney Kardashian

She'd barely covered up her long, tan legs in a pair of shorts that made me want to go to church on Sunday just to thank God for creating her.
- Beau ~ Abbi Glines

I feel like I am a lot of who I am because I watched these shows that said it was okay to be a total weirdo. Shows like 'Pete and Pete,' 'Hey, Dude,' 'Salute Your Shorts' - that's what I grew up with. ~ Mae Whitman

The weather in California is so much hotter than it is in England that it's absolutely changed my style. I have many more dresses and shorts than I ever thought I would coming from U.K.! It's so much easier to dress femininely in a warm climate. ~ Tamsin Egerton

Once I sold my shares and figured I wanted to get out of the magazine business it was like, "Now I can do whatever I want, anything I want in the world." And I guess I subconsciously hoped it would be something a little more adult. But I just want to do funny shorts, and TV is the ultimate endpoint for that. ~ Gavin McInnes

All these fifty-year-old guys wearing baseball caps and shorts and acting like children. It winds me up. Men don't have to take responsibility anymore. Most of the guys I know would punch me on the nose for saying this, but maybe we do have to bring back conscription. ~ Chrissie Hynde

Hollywood's two polar types are the cynically drunken writer aggressively nursing a ten-year-old reputation and the theatrically self-conscious hermit who strides the boulevard in sandals, home-made shorts and a prophetic beard, muttering against the Age of the Machines. ~ Christopher Isherwood

There's no reason that young girls shouldn't feel like they can't smash people on the field. Nothing dirty. You want to keep it clean. You just want to play hard. Get your jersey dirty, shorts dirty, and just have fun out there. ~ Carli Lloyd

All I knew is that I loved movies and comedy and TV, and I wanted to perform. I made a bunch of shorts and movies in college, and that was always fun too. I directed some plays in college. It was taking it all in and trying to immerse myself in as much of it as possible. ~ Ed Helms

Wearing shorts is a huge perk. I think it's probably one of the reasons people become mailmen. You also get to drive in that vehicle that should be illegal in the United States, where the steering wheel is on the other side. They have no rules! They are the punk rock of government jobs. ~ Jimmy Fallon

The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts. ~ Rick Riordan

Get a grip, change your shorts, and move on to the task at hand. ~ Rob Thurman

Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts. ~ Lois Greiman

Michael Jordan always had to wear University of North Carolina boxer shorts under his Chicago Bulls uniform. ~ Atul Gawande

I knew it!
Cards fly everywhere, as if he had them hidden in his gym shorts. ~ Cassie Mae

New York was nothing like LA . . . nothing! Flip-flops and shorts ruled on the West Coast. In New York, few in the professional world would be caught in flipping shoes and shorts, which were reserved for weekends and days at the Shore. If there was one rule Dakota's mother taught her in life it was if you don't know what you're doing or have no idea how you managed to get where you are . . . fake it. Dakota lived by that on her first trip to The Big Apple . . . and now she had it down. ~ Catherine Bybee

I'm commandeering some shorts." A drawer squeaked. "Oh, for pity's sake. You wear tighty-whities. With superheroes? ~ Pam Godwin

Nothing draws attention to thunder thighs more than shorts riding up your crotch. ~ K.A. Barson

Way too many fat people in shorts. ~ C.J. Box

The summer gig turned into my day job. I was an arts administrator who helped make indie flicks. At the filmmakers' encouragement, I tried shooting a couple of shorts of my own. Directing was stressful, it was not my strength. But writing the scripts and helping others with their scripts - that was a gas. Making stuff up the way I wanted to see it was the biggest kick I ever experienced. ~ Karen Walton

When I was growing up, I was teased for being too skinny. I went to summer camp when I was 11. I wore shorts, and the nurse said to me, in front of all my friends, that I was anorexic and that she had to monitor me to make sure I was eating. Because of that trauma, I never wore short pants or short skirts until I was 20. ~ Hani Furstenberg

I directed one of my shorts that did festivals around the world, and that was great. I've got a bit of a bug for that now. I just hope I keep challenging myself and keep doing stuff that interests me with people who I respect and who teach me stuff. If I can keep doing that in anything - acting, writing, directing or whatever - I'll do it because life is short. ~ Josh Lawson

Here, cover yourself with this and I'll wash your shorts."
"Oh, I don't care if you see me," says Peeta. ~ Suzanne Collins

This was a savage whose image refused to blend with that ancient picture of a boy in shorts and a shirt. ~ William Golding

The beach at Meschers was crawling with wankers in shorts and bimbos in thongs. It was reassuring. ~ Michel Houellebecq

It takes a truly cool girl to pull off short-shorts and rain boots. ~ Peter Som

It's fine. I'm fine. Unravel your boxer shorts. ~ Jodi Ellen Malpas

heatwave. Dad was wearing a T-shirt and baggy shorts, flip-flops on his feet, a bottle of beer in his hand. ~ Jess Ryder

Did I at least look kick ass?" "In your baggy tee, grandma bathing suit and ripped shorts?" he grimaced. "Oh yeah. Totally kick ass. ~ Alessandra Torre

The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts. ~ Lois Greiman