Alligator Quotes

Logs drowse in the pond
Dreaming of their heroes
Alligator and crocodile ~ Vern Rutsala

I felt the disorientation of a generous offer that in no way lines up with anything you want to do: like a promotion to senior alligator wrestling, or an all-expenses paid trip to Gary, Indiana. ~ Robin Sloan

It took me the bulk of my twenties to write one book about a family of alligator wrestlers. Whereas somebody like Steve Martin is releasing his latest banjo symphony, having just completed another movie and acclaimed, best-selling novel. ~ Karen Russell

THE ALLIGATOR IS AN ANACHRONISM THAT CAN EAT YOU! ~ Karen Russell

The sensation of writing a book is the sensation of spinning, blinded by love and daring. It is the sensation of a stunt pilot's turning barrel rolls, or an inchworm's blind rearing from a stem in search of a route. At its worst, it feels like alligator wrestling, at the level of the sentence. ~ Annie Dillard

Gators are just something you have to accept where I come from. Most don't go anywhere near the houses, even though there are lots of delicious children and dogs there. Every once in a while, though, an alligator has a lightbulb moment and decides to take a stroll and see the world a bit. ~ Maureen Johnson

I've wrestled an alligator before. It wasn't alive, but I still pinned it down. I was trying to impress a woman, and I bet I did, because she went home with another man - but she was smiling, probably wishing he were me. ~ Jarod Kintz

Every day I'd come home after school, pop the hood of my mom's car, put alligator clips on the battery, and wire into the house and go play on my computer. If I used it for too long, I'd wear down the car battery, and my mom would be all mad at me the next day. ~ Ryan Holmes

My mom was beautiful; she was supposed to be the original Jane in the original Tarzan movie. They asked her to put her foot in the water and there was an alligator in there, and she wouldn't put her foot in the water. ~ Dr. John

The only thing worse than living inside an alligator had to be living inside a decrepit one. ~ Robert Dunbar

Nothing said "successful business" like an old, dusty, busted, duct-taped taxidermied alligator. ~ Alyssa Day

I'm scared to death that I'll never be afraid. ~ Owl City

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. ~ Bill Haley

I put my alligator tooth down the rubbish pipe. I heard it fall down to the bottom and disappear. It was an offering for the volcano god. It was a present for God himself. If I gave him my best good luck then he'd save us from all the bad things, the sickness and chooking and dead babies, he'd bring us all back together again. He'd have to or it wouldn't be fair. It was a good swap, nobody could say it wasn't. I knew it would work. Thank you pigeon for showing me the right star. ~ Stephen Kelman

I wish I could say I gulp pure courage as I run, like those brave little girls you read about in stories, ... But this burst of speed comes from an older adrenaline, some limbic other. Not courage, but a deeper terror. I don't want to be left alone. And I am ready to defend Ossie against whatever monster I encounter, ... and save her for myself. ~ Karen Russell

Do you realize we're very probably seeing something that no one has seen for centuries?"
"Yes, it's a bloody flying alligator setting fire to my city!" shouted Vimes. ~ Terry Pratchett

When Sebastian, cearly delighted to be treated like one of the guys, didn't move, Alex bared his teeth. "Depeche-toi!"
Sebastian depeched. Alex turned back, all Cheshire cat smile.
"No," I said.
"No what?"
"No,you are not going to teach me all the cool words so I can go to Chamonix and be conversational."
"Good." He leaned in so I could see the faint dusting of freckles on his nose and smell spearmint gum. "Chamonix is so 1990s. Everyone who is anyone goes to Courchevel these days."
I turned on my heel and started to walk off.
"Jeez. Ella." He loped after me. "What if your problem? Conversational, my ass. Talking to you is like dancing around a fire in paper shoes."
I stopped. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It's an expression my Ukranian babushka likes. I'll explain it at our first turtoring session."
I scowled at his shirt. This one had what looked like a guy riding a dolphin instead of the ubiquitos alligator or polo player. "There isn't going to be a tutoring session."
"Winslow seems to think otherwise."
"Wouldn't be the first thing she's wrong about," I muttered.
He gave an impressive sigh. The dolphin lurched, but the little guy on it held tight. "You don't want to fail French, do you? That would be a serious admission of weakness from an Italian girl."
I almost smiled. Instead, I announced. "Fuhgeddaboudit. I'll buy a 'Teach Your Poodle French in Ten Easy Lessons' online. Problem solved, and Winslo ~ Melissa Jensen

If five years from now we solve the access problem, but what we're hearing is all encrypted, I'll probably, if I'm still here, be talking about that in a very different way: the objective is the same. The objective is for us to get those conversations whether they're by an alligator clip or ones and zeros. Whoever they are, whatever they are, I need them. ~ Louis J. Freeh

There is no point in delaying crying. Sadness is like having a vicious alligator around. You can ignore it for only so long before it begins devouring things and you have to pay attention. ~ Lemony Snicket

Hey, the only person I almost shot was Owen," Maddie said, giving her boyfriend a huge smile. "And if that does end up happening, he'll forgive me."
Owen grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. "You'd nurse me back to health?"
"I'd make you alligator gumbo out of the fucking lizard that tried to take a bite of you," she said. ~ Erin Nicholas

Dr. Blockhead's mocking face was solemn for once. 'Modern science is wiping out deviant strains of the human form,' he said. 'In the twenty-first century, genetic engineering will do more than merely eliminate Siamese twins and alligator-skinned people. It will make it hard to find a person with even a slight overbite or a large nose. I can see that future and it makes me shudder. The future looks like- him'
Dr. Blockhead pointed at Mulder.
'Imagine going through your whole life looking like that,' said Dr. Blockhead.
Mulder shrugged. 'It's a tough job- but someone has to do it. ~ Les Martin

Don't cry Meg. It's not that bad."

"It's not that bad? Ha! I'm thirty years old, with two black eyes, a swollen nose, a big, honking, yellow knot on my forehead, and the haircut from hell. As if that isn't enough, I had a transvestite in my bed this morning, my husband is a lying, cheating, cradle robbing, bastard, who at some point slept with my best friend."

Jack scooted over to the middle of the seat, and stopped listening to his head and wrapped his arms around her. Big mistake! From inside, four faces were pressed to the window.

"My last orgasm-with a partner- was…hell I can't remember when! I frequently knock myself out for entertainment purposes, I have little boobs, big feet, squishy panties, nosy neighbors and demon possessed fish. God hates me!"

Jack held her tighter.

"I have frequent flyer miles at the hospital. I fed my husband marijuana Ex-lax brownies and shoved a marble up his butt."

Jack pulled away to look at her and she was serious. And crying. Big, sad, alligator tears that made his heart swell. "My mother is a holy rolling, Catholic Dr. Ruth, complete with condoms and Rosary beads. I write about relationships and sex, both of which I suck at and I hired a Private Investigator to pimp me out."

Jack burst out laughing and she pushed him away and swatted his shoulder.

"And now you're laughing at me. Could things get any worse? ~ Amy Johnson

Louisiana has a larger alligator population than any other state. Just over a million."
"Over a million!" exclaimed Amelia with astonishment. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

Her eyes pleaded with him to understand, to try. Under that gaze, Eanrin had no option but to sit and stare at the scribbles in the dust, stare with all the intensity a cat can muster. His pupils dilated until the golden irises were like rings of eclipsed sunfire. Imraldera watched him, chewing her bottom lip and waiting.
At last the cat lashed his tail and raised his whiskered face to her. I'm sorry, my girl. It looks to me like the Greater Stick Bug pursues the Lesser Stick Bug over the back of a giant alligator. Can't make a thing of it otherwise. ~ Anne Elisabeth Stengl

Everything on Saturday morning [cartoons] moves alike that's one of the reasons it's not animation. The drawings are different, but everybody acts the same way, their feet move the same way, and everybody runs the same way. It doesn't matter whether it's an alligator or a man or a baby or anything, they all move the same. ~ Chuck Jones

MAMBO SUN"

"Beneath the bebop moon
I want to croon with you
Beneath the Mambo Sun
I got to be the one with you

My life's a shadowless horse
If I can't get across to you
In the alligator rain
My heart's all pain for you

Girl you're good
And I've got wild knees for you
On a mountain range
I'm Dr. Strange for you

Upon a savage lake
Make no mistake I love you
I got a powder-keg leg
And my wig's all pooped for you

With my hat in my hand
I'm a hungry man for you
I got stars in my beard
And I feel real weird for you

Beneath the bebop moon
I'm howling like a loon for you
Beneath the mumbo sun
I've got to be the one for you ~ Marc Bolan

During the Great Depression, levels of crime actually dropped. During the 1920s, when life was free and easy, so was crime. During the 1930s, when the entire American economy fell into a government-owned alligator moat, crime was nearly non-existent. During the 1950s and 1960s, when the economy was excellent, crime rose again. ~ Ben Shapiro

The calluses on your feet in space will eventually fall off. So, the bottoms of your feet become very soft like newborn baby feet. But the top of my feet develop rough alligator skin because I use the top of my feet to get around here on space station when using foot rails. ~ Scott Kelly

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm! ~ Lemony Snicket

IGNORANCE

I didn't know love would make me this
crazy, with my eyes
like the river Ceyhun
carrying me in its rapids
out to sea,where every bit
of shattered boat
sinks to the bottom.

An alligator lifts its head and swallows
the ocean, then the ocean
floor becomes
a desert covering
the alligator in
sand drifts.

Changes do
happen. I do not know how,
or what remains of what
has disappeared
into the absolute.

I hear so many stories
and explanations, but I keep quiet,
because I don't know anything,
and because something I swallowed
in the ocean
has made me completely content
with ignorance. ~ Jalaluddin Rumi

Paper balls? You were throwing balled up paper at an alligator? ~ Gini Koch

If I could rest anywhere, it would be in Arkansas, where the men are of the real half-horse, half-alligator breed such as grows nowhere else on the face of the universal earth. ~ Davy Crockett

Being only twelve, Klaus of course had not read all the books in the Baudelaire library, but he had read a great many of them and had retained a lot of the information from his readings. He knew how to tell an alligator from a crocodile. He knew who killed Julius Caesar. And he knew much about the tiny, slimy animals found at Briny Beach, which he was examining now. ~ Lemony Snicket

They will do more whether we do what we're doing or whether we don't do what we're doing. And the idea that you could appease them [terrorists] by stopping doing what we're doing or some implication that by doing what we're doing we're inciting them to attack us is just utter nonsense. It's just
it's kind of like feeding an alligator, hoping it eats you last. ~ Donald Rumsfeld

It's the chauffeur's outfit from hell, right down to the alligator shoes. I was wearing these alligator shoes and this very interesting and haunting chauffeur's outfit, but what really did it for me was the hat. And then, when I eventually get my eye taken out, the gold eye really brought it home for me. ~ Dennis Haysbert

If I was good each week, my father would take me to a different pet store each Saturday. I had a snake, horny toads, turtles, lizards, rabbits, guinea pigs ... I kept my alligator in the bathtub until it got too big. ~ Dick Van Patten

I've just done a movie - Albino Alligator - with Viggo Mortensen, who's an actor I idolize. He influenced me in a way that has helped me move toward getting lead parts instead of supporting parts, merely through his presence. So now I tell everyone, as a joke, that I'm entering my Viggo Mortensen phase. ~ Skeet Ulrich

No other library anywhere, for example, has a whole gallery of unwritten books - books that would have been written if the author hadn't been eaten by an alligator around chapter 1, and so on. Atlases of imaginary places. Dictionaries of illusory words. Spotter's guides to invisible things. Wild thesauri in the Lost Reading Room. A library so big that it distorts reality and has opened gateways to all other libraries, everywhere and everywhen ... ~ Terry Pratchett

The greatest gift that humans have is the ability to think. Of all the creatures in the world, humans are physically the most ill-equipped. A human cannot fly like a bird, outrun a leopard, swim like an alligator, nor climb trees like a monkey. A human doesn't have the eyes of an eagle, nor the claws and teeth of a wild cat. Physically, humans are helpless and defenseless; a tiny insect can kill them. But nature is reasonable and kind. Nature's greatest gift to humankind is the ability to think. Humans can create their own environment, whereas animals have to adapt to their environment. ~ Shiv Khera

There were some places, and streets, where he did not venture since he had learnt that others had claims there greater than his own - not the gangs of meths drinkers who lived in no place and no time, nor the growing number of the young who moved on restlessly across the face of the city, but vagrants like himself who, despite the name which the world has given them, had ceased to wander and now associated themselves with one territory or 'province' rather than another. All of them led solitary lives, hardly moving from their own warren of streets and buildings: it is not known whether they chose the area, or whether the area itself had callen them and taken them in, but they had become the guardian spirits (as it were) of each place. Ned now knew some of their names: Watercress Joe, who haunted the streets by St Mary Woolnoth, Black Sam who lived and slept beside the Commercial Road between Whitechapel and Limehouse, Harry the Goblin who was seen only by Spitalfields and Artillery Lane, Mad Frank who walked continually through the streets of Bloomsbury, Italian Audrey who was always to be found in the dockside area of Wapping (it was she who had visited Ned in his shelter many years before), and 'Alligator' who never moved from Greenwich. ~ Peter Ackroyd

I look in music magazines now and see things on Luther Allison, and my name's getting out there more, thanks to all the good people at Alligator Records and at my management company. ~ Luther Allison

If all I can say is I'm not in this swamp, I'm not in this swamp then there is not a rope in front of me and there is not an alligator behind me and there is not a girl sitting at the edge eating a hot dog and if I believe that, then dying would be the only answer because then Death couldn't come and say Peachy to me anymore and after all she has a brother who believes in hope. ~ Tori Amos

Like this book, the dictionary shows you that the word "nervous" means "worried about something"
you might feel nervous, for instance, if you were served prune ice cream for dessert, because you would be worried that it would taste awful
whereas the word "anxious" means "troubled by disturbing suspense," which you might feel if you were served a live alligator for dessert, because you would be troubled by the disturbing suspense about whether you would eat your dessert or it would eat you. ~ Lemony Snicket

It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them. ~ George Foreman

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag. ~ Bob Hope

When we were shooting in Shreveport, me and a couple of friends went down to Lafayette, because they had a big Zydeco music festival down there. We spent two days dancing to Zydeco music, eating fried alligator ... It was one of the craziest festivals I've ever been to in my life, but I loved it. ~ Alexander Skarsgard

You know you're in the Lowcountry when the steering wheel in your old red pick up is slippery from humidity, the news on the radio is all about the projected path of the latest Atlantic hurricane and the road kill you narrowly miss smearing further is a five foot long alligator. ~ Natasha Boyd

You clearly are a remarkable man," she said, "to travel with such creatures. The rooster is much more than he seems, as is the alligator. But, of course, you know that." Homer ~ Homer Hickam

I wanted to go to him then? Not all of me but the same part he'd just hurt. I don't understand this pull, still. I think it must be a really dangerous physics, the gravity of wound to fist. You can see it happen to the other animals. When a hunter or trapper begins kicking at an alligator, its body curls to accommodate the withdrawing foot. ~ Karen Russell

My agent in Miami told me you were coming. I like to keep up with who's coming to my island, especially government and railroad men. Typically, I don't like either one but considering your girl here and your car and the fact that you have an alligator with a rooster on his back, I would guess you might be at least interesting. Name's Ernest. Some people call me Hem." After a brief pause he added, "As in Hemingway." Homer ~ Homer Hickam

Then a very large komodo breaks into view, spooked by our trespass, and scrambles up the vertical face of the bluff, like an alligator scaling a four-story building. ~ David Quammen

I'm that same David Crockett, fresh from the backwoods, half-horse, half-alligator, a little touched with the snapping turtle; can wade the Mississippi, leap the Ohio, ride upon a streak of lightning, and slip without a scratch down a honey locust [tree]. ~ Davy Crockett

When Amos Moses was a boy his daddy would use him for alligator bait, tie a rope around his neck and throw him in the swamp. ~ Jerry Reed

When I was a little kid, I was the first kid in my neighborhood to have a pet alligator. ~ Benicio Del Toro

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. ~ LeAnn Rimes

River would suggest they [Lamb, Taverner] get a room, provided the room was soundproofed, locked, and had an alligator in it. ~ Mick Herron

Zain poured skimmed milk over Weetabix, throwing in a handful of cashew nuts to add flavour. A glass of grapefruit juice to go with it, and green tea. He tried to avoid caffeine. Maybe the green pills were loaded with it, anyway. Alligator balls, snake venom and caffeine. He ~ Alex Caan

No one is adequate to comprehending the misery of my lot! Fate obliges me to be constantly in movement: I am not permitted to pass more than a fortnight in the same place. I have no Friend in the world, and from the restlessness of my destiny I never can acquire one. Fain would I lay down my miserable life, for I envy those who enjoy the quiet of the Grave: But Death eludes me, and flies from my embrace. In vain do I throw myself in the way of danger. I plunge into the Ocean; The Waves throw me back with abhorrence upon the shore: I rush into fire; The flames recoil at my approach: I oppose myself to the fury of Banditti; Their swords become blunted, and break against my breast: The hungry Tiger shudders at my approach, and the Alligator flies from a Monster more horrible than itself. God has set his seal upon me, and all his Creatures respect this fatal mark! ~ Matthew Gregory Lewis

You can be a mighty sailor, wrestling with an alligator. Romping through the swamp. ~ Dave Van Ronk

Toad must have been very accustomed to traveling this way, balanced on the back rails of a rushing buggy, but Melena was not. She gripped the sides and white-knuckled the rails with her knapsack sandwiched between her knees. Hazel was clamped onto the roof, grinning like an alligator in the sun.
And Toad lounged like a cat. ~ M.L. LeGette

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it. ~ Buddy Hackett

what i've found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany's. it calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits, and that lovely smell of silver and alligator wallets. if I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's... ~ Truman Capote

We keep giggling, happy and nervous, tickled by an incomplete innocence. We both sense that some dark joke is being played on us, even if we can't quite grasp the punch line. ~ Karen Russell

Nervousness hates a vacuum. 826 alligator. Nervousness will blurt right out with something, anything, to kill the silence. 839 alligator. Unless nervousness is kept busy doing something more useful. Like counting. 842 alligator. ~ Lauren Beukes

The government competes in the private sector the way an alligator competes with a duck. ~ Mike Pence

I'm also fascinated by the difference between terror and fear. Fear says, "Do not actually put your hand in the alligator," while terror says, "Avoid Florida entirely because alligators exist. ~ Mira Grant

I am the alligator of love. But I'd make better boots than a lover. ~ Jarod Kintz

Crocodiles, you will say, are stationary. Mr. Waterton tells me that the crocodile does not change, - that a cayman, in fact, or an alligator, is just as good for riding upon as he was in the time of the Pharaohs. That may be; but the reason is that the crocodile does not live fast - he is a slow coach. I believe it is generally understood among naturalists that the crocodile is a blockhead. It is my own impression that the Pharaohs were also blockheads. ~ Thomas De Quincey

Wow," Wesley said. We were lying in his bed only a few minutes after we'd finished, with a foot or more space between our bodies. "I definitely wasn't expecting that."
God, he ruined everything when he talked. Annoyed, and still wading through the emotional repercussions, I sneered. "What? Ashamed that you screwed the Duff?"
"No." I was surprised by how serious he sounded. "I'm never ashamed of anyone I sleep with. Sex is a natural chemical reaction. It always happens for a reason. Who am I to dictate who experiences the joy of sharing my bed?" He didn't see me roll my eyes as he continued. "No, I just meant that I'm shocked. I was honestly starting to believe that you hated me."
"I do hate you," I assured him, kicking off the covers and moving to pick up my clothes.
"You must not hate me too much," Wesley said, rolling onto his elbow and watching me dress. "You did pretty much throw yourself at me. Generally, hatred doesn't inspire that kind of passion."
I pulled on my T-shirt. "Believe me, Wesley, I definitely hate you. I was just using you. You use people all the time, so I'm sure you understand." I buttoned my jeans and grabbed my alligator clip from the nightstand. "This was fun, but if you ever tell anyone, I swear I'll castrate you. ~ Kody Keplinger

I heard a few men in a restaurant talking about a bayou legend," Savannah said suddenly.She leaned ont he side of the boat,presenting him with an intriguing view of her tight jeans. They clung lovingly to every curve.
Gregori moved, a flowing of his body, gliding silently, and his large frame was blanketing Savannah's, blocking out the captain's enticing view.Gregori leaned into her,his arms coming down on either side of the railing to imprison her against him. You are doing it again. His words brushed softly in her mind even as his warm breath teased the tendrils of hair at her neck.
Savannah leaned back into him, fitting her bottom into the cradle of his hips. She was happy, free of the oppressive weight of the hunt,of death and violence. THere were only the two of them.
Three, he reminded her,his teeth scraping her sensitive pulse.He could feel the answering surge of her blood, the molten lava spreading in his.
My mother thinks my father is a cave man.I'm beginning to think you could give him a run for his money.
Disrespectful little thing.
"Which legend?There are so many," Beau said.
"About an old alligator that lies in wait to eat hunting dogs and little children," Savannah said.
Gregori tugged at her long braid so that she tilted her head back.His mouth brushed the line of her throat. I could be a hungry alligator, he offered softly. ~ Christine Feehan

Nobody in the city of Los Angeles knows how to catch an alligator, ... We have no experience in recreation and parks, the zoo or animal control. ~ Janice Hahn

Where was I when the rockets came to life
And carried you away into the alligator sky
Even though, I'll never know what's up ahead
I'm never lettin' go, I'm never lettin' go! ~ Owl City

The room inside looked like the mouth of an alligator - gaped wide open to swallow something down. ~ Zora Neale Hurston

What's an alligator?" Kaz asked. He'd never seen a figure like the one Claire projected onto the cabinet wall. "It's a reptile that lives in Florida," Claire explained. Kaz didn't know what Florida was, either. ~ Dori Hillestad Butler

Remodeling defies the principles of modern commerce. You shell out great sums of money to people over whom you have no authority or power, yet these same people are constantly insinuating that you're cheap. (It reminded me of medicine, another area where you shell out great sums of money to people over whom you have no authority or power, who make you feel guilty for questioning a bill.) Construction workers are the blue-collar version of the snooty salespeople at Gucci who make $8 an hour but look down on you if you balk at a $400 alligator wallet. ~ Margo Kaufman

Far off in the red mangroves an alligator has heaved himself onto a hummock of grass and lies there, studying his poems. ~ Mary Oliver

ECassChoosesPikachu: Patrick's new favorite joke: What do you call an alligator in a vest? An "investigator" HA!
JoseyInHeels to ECassChoosesPikachu: The kid needs better jokes
SeanCassinova to ECassChoosesPikachu: MY NEPHEW IS BRILLIANT! ~ L. H. Cosway

Behind her warm facade radiating empathy and understanding, there was an aggressive, bad- tempered bitch, putting up endless walls of goodness to conceal her rage and resentment toward the entire world. She was like an alligator in a velvet jumpsuit. ~ Zygmunt Miloszewski

I have tested my nerve by reaching a little too closely toward a lengthy alligator on the Gulf Coast and a saucer-sized tarantula in a Houston car park. ~ Jim Crace

Anyone else would have just killed the alligator ~ Janet Evanovich

When you're a kid, it's hard to tell the innocuous secrets from the ones that will kill you if you keep them. ~ Karen Russell

Trouble is, finding a girl is still a tricky situation, like choosing a hat." He flips off his hat and sweeps a finger along the edge of the brim. "Like, maybe you've had your eye on a fine-looking French number, but when it finally falls onto your head, it loses its appeal... Or maybe you've been told all your life that bison felts are the only hats worth wearing. And when something different comes along, say alligator suede, even though it's the most worthy thing you've seen in your life, you might leave it in the window"--he taps his chin--"until you realize no other hat will fit just right. ~ Stacey Lee

The buzzard has nothing to fault himself with.
Scruples are alien to the black panther.
Piranhas do not doubt the rightness of their actions.
The rattlesnake approves of himself without reservations.
The self-critical jackal does not exist.
The locust, alligator, trichina, horsefly
live as they live and are glad of it.
The killer whale's heart weighs one hundred kilos
but in other respects it is light.
There is nothing more animal-like
than a clear conscience
on the third planet of the Sun. ~ Wislawa Szymborska

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman. ~ Homer

I snorted a surprised laugh and then covered my mouth with the hand that wasn't currently touching his hip.
His answering laugh - a shocked bark likely caused by the sound of my inelegant snort - made me laugh even harder.
"What is that sound? Are you snorting?" He squeezed my shoulders as we crossed the street, his voice thick with amusement.
I snorted again - because when I laugh, I snort like the love child of a pig and an alligator unless I hold my nose, in which case I sound like I've got a terrible case of the hiccups - which made him laugh even harder. ~ L. H. Cosway

He's like the kid they use down in Louisiana as alligator bait. They tie him to the end of a rope and he walks out into the swamp. All the kid can do is hope they jerk the rope back in time. ~ Michael Levine

All I could think of was the phrase my dad's father used to say to him when I was a kid, "Don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass," and I think I'd done just that. ~ Brynn Myers

She was still hugging the cat. "Poor slob," she said, tickling his head, "poor slob without a name. It's a little inconvenient, his not having a name. But I haven't any right to give him one: he'll have to wait until he belongs to somebody. We just sort of took up by the river one day, we don't belong to each other: he's an independent, and so am I. I don't want to own anything until I know I've found the place where me and things belong together. I'm not quite sure where that is just yet. But I know what it's like." She smiled, and let the cat drop to the floor. "It's like Tiffany's," she said.
[ ... ]
It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits, and that lovely smell of silver and alligator wallets. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's, then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name. ~ Truman Capote

Skins tanned to the consistency of well-traveled alligator suitcases. ~ Russell Baker

In the sky there is nobody asleep. Nobody, nobody.
Nobody is asleep.
The creatures of the moon sniff and prowl about their cabins.
The living iguanas will come and bite the men who do not dream,
and the man who rushes out with his spirit broken will meet on the
street corner
the unbelievable alligator quiet beneath the tender protest of the
stars.

Nobody is asleep on earth. Nobody, nobody.
Nobody is asleep.
In a graveyard far off there is a corpse
who has moaned for three years
because of a dry countryside on his knee;
and that boy they buried this morning cried so much
it was necessary to call out the dogs to keep him quiet.

Life is not a dream. Careful! Careful! Careful!
We fall down the stairs in order to eat the moist earth
or we climb to the knife edge of the snow with the voices of the dead
dahlias.
But forgetfulness does not exist, dreams do not exist;
flesh exists. Kisses tie our mouths
in a thicket of new veins,
and whoever his pain pains will feel that pain forever
and whoever is afraid of death will carry it on his shoulders.

One day
the horses will live in the saloons
and the enraged ants
will throw themselves on the yellow skies that take refuge in the
eyes of cows.

Another day
we will watch the preserved butterflies rise from the dead
and still walking through ~ Federico Garcia Lorca

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. ~ Dan Rather

I swim with all my strength. No superhuman surge, or pony heroics; it's just me at my most desperate. ~ Karen Russell

Places like Hilton Head, with water adjacency and nice climates, are in high demand, and land values are insane. In the case of Hilton Head, which was developed in 1970 on what had been a mosquito- and alligator-infested swampy barrier island, land value has leaped from nearly zero to now unaffordable. ~ Susan Orlean