Matt Groening Quotes

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed? ~ Matt Groening

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head. ~ Matt Groening

Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney. ~ Matt Groening

One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself. ~ Matt Groening

If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain. ~ Matt Groening

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. ~ Matt Groening

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder. ~ Matt Groening

I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy.
Homer Simpson ~ Matt Groening

I want it to go on, but I want us to go out on top. ~ Matt Groening

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!
(Homer Simpson) ~ Matt Groening

I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor. ~ Matt Groening

I like the 'Simpsons' pinball machines. Those are pretty great. ~ Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' basically - and 'Futurama' - are really smart shows. They're kind of disguised as these goofy animated sitcoms, but the references within the shows, if you're paying attention, are pretty smart and pretty sophisticated. ~ Matt Groening

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have. ~ Matt Groening

One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie! ~ Matt Groening

The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too. ~ Matt Groening

meantime, here is a list of degrees for five of the nerdiest writers: J. STEWART BURNS BS Mathematics, Harvard University MS Mathematics, UC Berkeley DAVID S. COHEN BS Physics, Harvard University MS Computer Science, UC Berkeley AL JEAN BS Mathematics, Harvard University KEN KEELER BS Applied Mathematics, Harvard University PhD Applied Mathematics, Harvard University JEFF WESTBROOK BS Physics, Harvard University PhD Computer Science, Princeton University ~ Simon Singh

I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something. ~ Matt Groening

... schools in many industrialized nations were not, for the most part, designed to produce innovative thinkers or questioners -- their primary purpose was to produce workers. The author Seth Godin writes, "Our grandfathers and great grandfathers built schools to train people to have a lifetime of productive labor as part of the industrialized economy. And it worked."
To create good workers, educations systems put a premium on compliancy and rote memorization of basic knowledge -- excellent qualities in an industrial worker. (Or, as the cartoonist and Simpsons creator Matt Groening puts it, "it seems the main rule that traditional schools teach is how to sit in rows quietly, which is perfect training for grown-up work in a dull office or factory, but not so good for education.")
And not so good for questioning: To the extent a school is like a factory, students who inquire about "the way things are" could be seen as insubordinate. It raises, at least in my mind, a question that may seem extreme: If schools were build on a factory model, were they actually designed to squelch questions? ~ Warren Berger

My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitiously, either while we were driving around or at dinner, and in 1963 he and I made up a story about a brother and a sister, Lisa and Matt, having an adventure out in the woods with animals. ~ Matt Groening

I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case. ~ Matt Groening

Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry! ~ Matt Groening

Since I was there in the very beginning, I know the history of the characters. So, I make comments about the tone and sometimes remind the writers that we've done that before. ~ Matt Groening

When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor. ~ Matt Groening

With 'Futurama,' I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our original plan was never to have Fry and Leela get together, we finally just said, 'You can only string the fans along so far.' ~ Matt Groening

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done. ~ Matt Groening

The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other, and then I can just go home, and they don't know. ~ Matt Groening

This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!
Homer Simpson ~ Matt Groening

I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists. ~ Matt Groening

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls. ~ Matt Groening

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans. ~ Matt Groening

God often gives nuts to toothless people. - Matt Groening ~ Ann Brashares

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing. ~ Matt Groening

I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books? ~ Matt Groening

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways ~ Matt Groening

Don't have a cow, man. ~ Matt Groening

Nihilism in American comedy came along way before 'The Simpsons.' There was a fairly nihilistic point of view to 'Saturday Night Live,' for instance, back in the beginning, and a lot of really dark comedy had a really anti-sentimental take on life. ~ Matt Groening

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. ~ Matt Groening

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight. ~ Matt Groening

The entire world of grown-ups is corrupt and stupid. ~ Matt Groening

I basically drew my own family. My father's name is Homer. My mother's name is Margaret. I have a sister Lisa and another sister Maggie, so I drew all of them. I was going to name the main character Matt, but I didn't think it would go over well in a pitch meeting, so I changed the name to Bart. ~ Matt Groening

I grew up completely overwhelmed by TV, and part of the reason why I have gone into television is as a way to justify to myself all those wasted hours of watching TV as a kid. I can now look back and say, 'Oh, that was research.' ~ Matt Groening

I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it. ~ Matt Groening

I've loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at the covers of science-fiction magazines and books, and I've read quite extensively as an adult. ~ Matt Groening

Stop thinking about fun and have it
Homer Simpson ~ Matt Groening

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more. ~ Matt Groening

A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end. ~ Matt Groening

You see, Marriage is like a Coffin, and each Kid is another Nail. ~ Matt Groening

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. ~ Matt Groening

I've found that child's play -stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy- was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult. ~ Matt Groening

We have 'Doctor Who' references on 'Futurama,' but we have a lot of science fiction references that I don't get; but in the staff we have experts on 'Star Trek,' 'Star Wars,' 'Doctor Who' and 'Dungeons and Dragons.' ~ Matt Groening

[Ned Flanders]: Well looks like someone's having a pre-rapture party.
[Homer Simpson]: No, Flanders. Its a meeting of gay witches for abortion, you wouldn't be interested. ~ Matt Groening

I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day. ~ Matt Groening

I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life. ~ Matt Groening

I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show. ~ Matt Groening

Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else. ~ Matt Groening

I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.' ~ Matt Groening

American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's got the best moustache in American history. Got the moustache, right, and he's got that little thing on his chin, I think it's called an imperial, that is, like, the coolest thing. That's like one of the great icons of the twentieth century. ~ Matt Groening

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. ~ Matt Groening

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff. ~ Matt Groening

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. ~ Matt Groening

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. ~ Matt Groening

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to. ~ Matt Groening

Of course I've gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring and no one listens to you!
- Russ Cargill ~ Matt Groening

The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important question: "How long am I going to be dead?" With that perspective, you can now make a free, fearless choice to do just about any goddamned sneaky thing your devious little mind can think up. Go ahead. Have your fun. You're welcome. Go on. See you in hell. ~ Matt Groening

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Homer Simpson ~ Matt Groening

I loved literary science fiction. In fact, as a kid, when I was reading science fiction, I thought 'I can't wait for the future when the special effects are good' to represent what was in these books by Arthur C. Clarke, Alfred Bester, Philip K. Dick, J.G. Ballard, Jack Vance. ~ Matt Groening

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt ... I can't compete with that stuff. ~ Matt Groening

Did you hear something?"
"No."
"Did I hear something?"
" ... I don't know ... ~ Matt Groening

Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say. ~ Matt Groening

I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time. ~ Matt Groening

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. ~ Matt Groening

Me fail english? Thats unpossible. ~ Matt Groening

Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked. ~ Matt Groening

I think there is a certain charm to the hand drawn image that I like. My problem with CGI is that it's so rich in texture that my eyes actually get tired. Everything is in focus down to the littlest leaf. ~ Matt Groening

What I've noticed in a lot of other cartoonists is a sullen resentfulness about their lack of attention and tiny checking accounts. I vowed back in the days when I had no money that I would not allow that kind of bitterness to overtake me ... Cartooning, in general, is a very solitary occupation, and it breeds all sorts of self-punishing thinking ~ Matt Groening

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?" ~ Matt Groening

When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries. ~ Matt Groening

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism! ~ Matt Groening

We did 'The Simpsons Movie,' which took almost four years; it was the same people that do the TV show, and it just killed us. So that's why there hasn't been a second movie. But I imagine if the show ever does go off the air, they'll start doing movies. ~ Matt Groening

Living creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn't mean only artistic creativity, although that's part of it. It means being yourself, not just complying with the wishes of other people. ~ Matt Groening

The nice thing about 'Futurama' for me personally was that it was a way to honor some of the traditional ideas in literary science fiction, not so much movie or television science fiction - although we have that too, obviously. Our situation, a workplace comedy, led to all sorts of stuff. ~ Matt Groening

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Homer Simpson ~ Matt Groening

Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy? ~ Matt Groening

No matter how good you are at something there's always about a million people better than you. ~ Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but who drive you completely crazy. ~ Matt Groening

You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to do. Everything else is secondary. ~ Matt Groening

I know for a fact, obviously, because my kids grew up watching the show, that there are some things they are introduced to from 'The Simpsons', and then later in life they see the thing we're parodying. My kids had not seen 'Casablanca,' and we'd done parodies of 'Casablanca.' ~ Matt Groening

Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it. ~ Matt Groening

The writers led by Mike Scully are fantastic. And they're creating original stories that not only don't repeat what we've already done, they also don't repeat anything I've seen on television. ~ Matt Groening

I always say that 'Futurama' is real, and 'The Simpsons' is fiction. ~ Matt Groening

Sometimes people try to read into my strip and find out what my state of mind is. And I can say if I'm in a good mood, generally the comic strip starts out in a good mood, but the punchline is very negative and sour. ~ Matt Groening

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things ~ Matt Groening

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun. ~ Matt Groening

I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away. It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success. ~ Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' obviously is a huge success, and Fox has nothing to do with its success, with its creative success, and as a result they don't really like the show. They don't like 'The Simpsons' at Fox. ~ Matt Groening

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. ~ Matt Groening

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! - Homer Simpson ~ Matt Groening

To alcohol! The cause of ... and solution to ... all of life's problems ~ Matt Groening

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture. ~ Matt Groening