Humor Food Deathnote Quotes

I'm gonna take a patato chip! AND eat it! ~ Tsugumi Ohba

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home. ~ James A. Michener

Plain boiled food, plain boiled thinking. Even his name is plain boiled: John. Maybe because I grew up with black bean sauce and hoisin sauce and garlic sauce, I always feel something is missing when my son-in-law talk. ~ Gish Jen

The history of the bagel suggests that Americans' shifting, blended, multi-ethnic eating habits are signs neither of postmodern decadence, ethnic fragmentation, nor corporate hegemony. If we do not understand how a bagel could sometimes be Jewish, sometimes be "New York," and sometimes be American, or why it is that Pakistanis now sell bagels to both Anglos and Tejanos in Houston, it is in part because we have too hastily assumed that our tendency to cross cultural boundaries in order to eat ethnic foods is a recent development - and a culinary symptom of all that has gone wrong with contemporary culture.

It is not. The bagel tells a different kind of American tale. It high- lights ways that the production, exchange, marketing, and consumption of food have generated new identities - for foods and eaters alike. ~ Donna Gabaccia

Damn,' someone behind me says. 'I was hoping we would get to scrape some Stiff pancake off the pavement later. ~ Veronica Roth

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches. ~ Frank Carson

I don't know it is that I always feel that other people can create things but that I can't. I imagine it's simpler living in remote tribes or communities where one is obliged to have a go or else you have to do without. I suppose it is fear of failure in an age where political correctness is trying to erase the word 'failure' from the language. It's OK to fail isn't it, but only if you've tried? What is so bizarre is that when one does try, one rarely falls short. Obviously some people do things better than others but if it gives you pleasure, then so what? As my grandmother used to say, 'patience and perseverance made a bishop of his reverence!' So don't say you can't make candles or soap or that you can't spin or weave until you've tried it. As for mending, well, if you're not throwing everything away, then you have no option but to make do and mend. After all, the only way to get rid of shopping malls and supermarkets with their food miles is for people not to shop in those places and the way to cure this mercenary mercantile world is to make your own things. ~ Clarissa Dickson Wright

It appears your son was 85 percent curry! ~ Danny Wallace

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. ~ James Beard

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Devil's Food?
You can only eat so much white cake, my friend. ~ Christopher Moore

Attracting musicians is rather like inviting flies over to tea: they are tolerable for half an hour, but when they begin to touch the food, you either wish they would go home or die. ~ Michelle Franklin

Mother could go for one year without food, but not one day without her lip sticks. ~ Barbara Kingsolver

Ella finished her burger and dug into a side of fries. Hi watched, enraptured.
She couldn't help but notice. "Would you like one?"
"What? Sure." Hi smiled, made no move.
After a moment, Ella nudged the bowl his way. "Careful, they're still hot."
"Oh, no problem." Hi fumbled for a fry. "I like food that's hot."
I caught Shelton slowly shaking his head.
"Oh, shoot!" Ella winced. "I forgot to stop by the office. My mother had to drop off my shin guards." She slid her fries over to Hi. "Enjoy. They're hot, which apparently you like."
"Got that right. Hot hot hot!" Hi awkwardly shoved another fry into his mouth.
"Okay, wow." Ella gathered her things, then brushed my cheek with a kiss. "Later, Tor." Shouldering her bag, she hurried from the cafeteria.
A loud thunk drew my attention back to the table.
Hi's forehead was resting on his tray. "Tell me that wasn't as bad as I think."
"Worse," Shelton said. "So, so much worse."
Then head rose, then thunked back down. "I don't remember parts. I think I lost time."
I patted his shoulder. "That's probably for the best."
"Such." Thunk. "A." Thunk. "Dumbass." Thunk.
Shelton laughed nervously. "See? That's why I don't talk."
Hi's face shot up. "Tell her I have brain seizures. A serious medical condition. Or that I have an evil twin who sometimes takes my place, but can't talk for crap."
"Got it," I promised. His head dropped once more. ~ Kathy Reichs

Well if this is really happening, and this psycho really did kidnap us, I want food. ~ L. Taylor

I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!" ~ Mike Birbiglia

He got a tan over break. I used to tell him he was so pale he looked like a marshmallow. He hated that I compared him to food. I told him that's what he got for calling me caramel. It shut him up. ~ Angie Thomas

Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. ~ Mark Watson

Danes express their strongest feelings in conjunction with food. That became clear to me the first time I was out visiting friends with Moritz. When I took a third helping of cookies, he looked straight at me.
"Keep on taking until you're ashamed of yourself," he said.
I wasn't confident about my Danish, but I understood what he meant. I helped myself three more times. Without taking my eyes off him. The room disappeared, the people we were visiting disappeared, I didn't taste the cookies. Only Moritz existed.
"I'm still not ashamed," I said.
I helped myself three more times. Then he grabbed the platter and put it out of my reach. I had won. The first of a long series of small, important victories over him and Danish manners. ~ Peter Hoeg

Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there. ~ Jen Lancaster

I'm asked a lot what the best thing about cooking for a living is. And it's this: to be a part of a subculture. To be part of a historical continuum, a secret society with its own language and customs. To enjoy the instant gratification of making something good with one's hands
using all one's senses. It can be, at times, the purest and most unselfish way of giving pleasure (thought oral sex has to be a close second). ~ Anthony Bourdain

Some enterprising rabbit had dug its way under the stakes of my garden again. One voracious rabbit could eat a cabbage down to the roots, and from the looks of things, he'd brought friends. I sighed and squatted to repair the damage, packing rocks and earth back into the hole. The loss of Ian was a constant ache; at such moments as this, I missed his horrible dog as well.

I had brought a large collection of cuttings and seeds from River Run, most of which had survived the journey. It was mid-June, still time--barely--to put in a fresh crop of carrots. The small patch of potato vines was all right, so were the peanut bushes; rabbits wouldn't touch those, and didn't care for the aromatic herbs either, except the fennel, which they gobbled like licorice.

I wanted cabbages, though, to preserve a sauerkraut; come winter, we would want food with some taste to it, as well as some vitamin C. I had enough seed left, and could raise a couple of decent crops before the weather turned cold, if I could keep the bloody rabbits off. I drummed my fingers on the handle of my basket, thinking. The Indians scattered clippings of their hair around the edges of the fields, but that was more protection against deer than rabbits.

Jamie was the best repellent, I decided. Nayawenne had told me that the scent of carnivore urine would keep rabbits away--and a man who ate meat was nearly as good as a mountain lion, to say nothing of being more biddable. Yes, that would d ~ Diana Gabaldon

If life gives you the wobbles make jelly. ~ Magdalena VandenBerg

I prefer noodles when they're raw, they taste just as good, but reward you with a satisfying crunch... ~ Callum Horncastle

It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really. ~ Ilona Andrews

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

When you don't fit in anymore, eat less. ~ Benny Bellamacina

I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky. ~ Erma Bombeck

I was lucky to live in the 20th century, when gefilte fish could be purchased in a jar. ~ Barbara "Cutie" Cooper

The king may rule the kingdom, but it's the queen who moves the board. ~ D.M. Timney

We know they've got food here," Loran said ever practical. "What more do we need?"

"Well, as much as I heartily approve of food," Jason replied, glancing over at Loran. "I wouldn't say no to the odd cellium mine or cache of alien tech."

"You're picking up some alien tech?" Tennant asked excitedly, practically bouncing at the prospect. "Are there any weapons?"

"No, of course not," Jason snapped in exasperation. "I'm not picking up anything. But, ahh... I'll be sure to keep running that particular scan - the alien weapon scan," he added hurriedly in appeasement as Tennant's face dropped. ~ Claire Russett

We pass Tinsley's Fried Chicken with the big sign that reads, TRY OUR BIG, JUICY BREASTS. ~ Donna Cooner

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. ~ Mitch Hedberg

I want my lobster in bite-sized pieces! How dare you make me chew more than thrice? ~ Adam Jay Epstein

Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers. ~ William Shakespeare

Nothing wrong with eggs for dinner at ten o'clock at night when you're about to commit a crime. ~ M.K. England

The reverend waited for her to be seated and then he bowed his head and blessed the food and the table and the people sitting at it. He went on at some length and blessed everything all the way up to the country and then he blessed some other countries as well and he spoke about war and famine and the missions and other problems in the world with particular reference to Russia and the jews and cannibalism and he asked it all in Christ's name amen and raised up and reached for the cornbread. ~ Cormac McCarthy