Humor Friends Quotes

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Quotes About Humor Friends

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Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship. ~ Bill Watterson
Humor Friends quotes by Bill Watterson
Is he a sophomore?" Lydia says. "Please tell me he's in our grade."
"I don't know," I say.
"But weren't you there when he came to the office?" Peyton says.
"The secretary didn't get out her bullhorn and announce what grade he's in. She just took him to meet Headmaster Perkins. ~ Lauren Myracle
Humor Friends quotes by Lauren Myracle
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. ~ Oscar Wilde
Humor Friends quotes by Oscar Wilde
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle. ~ Kinky Friedman
Humor Friends quotes by Kinky Friedman
Prenups are so unromantic - a sign of distrust, not love. Time for a reality check, my friends. First, drawing up a prenuptial agreement together is a sign of incredible trust and financial openness - you're fooling yourself if you think you can achieve complete intimacy without it. ~ Suze Orman
Humor Friends quotes by Suze Orman
Duke to Michel: I'm fairly certain that even if
you'd struggle in a quiz against a pigeon, you are capable enough of opening doors. ~ Elias Zapple
Humor Friends quotes by Elias Zapple
Josh [Friedman] and I have been friends for years, and he said, "Hey, if you ever want to do a TV show, I can take it over and run it," and I was like, "Yes!" He's always been so busy that I never dared to ask that, but it just worked out, time wise, that this was the season where we could probably do it, so I jumped at it. So, even though I'm busy with other stuff, I'm excited to be writing this. ~ John August
Humor Friends quotes by John August
I could tell the raciest things these women had ever been involved in was a co-ed game of Connect Four. ~ Chelsea Handler
Humor Friends quotes by Chelsea Handler
I got the sneaking suspicion that the vampire was a couple of Peeps short of an Easter basket. ~ Jim Butcher
Humor Friends quotes by Jim Butcher
She turned on me a flatteringly protracted but a wiltingly disapproving gaze, & then went inside, humming a light song to indicate the value she placed upon my existence. ~ O. Henry
Humor Friends quotes by O. Henry
I mostly want to be friends with my children. ~ Vanessa Paradis
Humor Friends quotes by Vanessa Paradis
The thing is you cannot imagine what is going to happen next. If you're imagining it - it's from your imagination. ~ Art Hochberg
Humor Friends quotes by Art Hochberg
There are two kinds of people in life: those who like crude dualities and those who do not. ~ Ben Orlin
Humor Friends quotes by Ben Orlin
In prosperity it is very easy to find a friend; but in adversity it is the most difficult of all things. ~ Epictetus
Humor Friends quotes by Epictetus
Too many people base their worth and value on what other people think of them. They worry if others like them, approve of them, or think of them as important. Because of such insecurities, they are constantly playing up to others, trying to win their favor and to meet others' every expectation.
When you do that, you set yourself up to be controlled and manipulated. You allow others to put you in a box. Some people do not follow their dreams because they are so concerned about falling from the good grace of others. You may lose the approval of others if you follow your own dreams. But if your friends approve of you only when you meet their expectations, they aren't true friends. They are manipulators. They are controllers.
There is a real freedom when you realize you don't need the approval of others. You have almighty God's approval. Don't try to keep everyone around you happy. Some people don't even want to be happy. You've got to be secure enough to say, "I love you, but I won't allow you to control me. You may not give me your blessing, but that's okay. I have God's blessing. And I'm not a people pleaser; I'm a God pleaser."
Take charge of your life. If you're being manipulated and pressured into being someone you are not, it's not the other person's fault, it's your own fault. You control your destiny. You can be nice. You can be respectful. But do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty for being your own person.
Life is too short to spend it trying ~ Joel Osteen
Humor Friends quotes by Joel Osteen
No," Lillian said frankly. "But much as I hate to admit it, that puts us in a minority. Swift is liked by everyone in the northern hemisphere, including Westcliff and his friends, my friends, the servants, the neighbors - "
"You are exaggerating - "
" - children, animals and the higher order of plants," Lillian finished sardonically. "If root vegetables could talk, I've no doubt they would say they like him, too."
Daisy, who was sitting by the window with a book, looked up with a sudden grin. "His charm doesn't extend to poultry," she said. "He has a problem with geese." Her smile turned quizzical. "Thank you for being so accommodating, Lillian. I expected you to make a fuss about the betrothal. ~ Lisa Kleypas
Humor Friends quotes by Lisa Kleypas
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur ~ Janet Evanovich
Humor Friends quotes by Janet Evanovich
The 'coons had enjoyed a real party, and my trashcan had been the piñata! They'd obviously indulged in an evening of feasting on our wares and then staggered off the property loaded up with our birdseed as a little take-home gift! ~ Suzanne Kelman
Humor Friends quotes by Suzanne Kelman
The treasure is not only gold, silver, gems, etc. The most important treasure of this world is family and friends. ~ Tamuna Tsertsvadze
Humor Friends quotes by Tamuna Tsertsvadze
Romance is like maintaining a car. If you do a good job of it, you will always have a dependable quiet ride. ~ T.R. Wallace
Humor Friends quotes by T.R. Wallace
I remembered the lesson my mom taught me at age seven in a swimming pool in Hawaii. I was a shy little girl and an only child, so on vacations I was usually playing alone, too afraid to go up to the happy groups of kids and introduce myself. Finally, on one vacation, my mom asked me which I'd rather have: a vacation with no friends, or one scary moment... After that, one scary moment became something I was always willing to have in exchange for the possible payoff. I became a girl who knew how to take a deep breath, suck it up, and walk into any room by herself. ~ Kristin Newman
Humor Friends quotes by Kristin Newman
Es gibt keinen Gott und Dirac ist sein Prophet. (There is no God and Dirac is his Prophet.)

{A remark made during the Fifth Solvay International Conference (October 1927), after a discussion of the religious views of various physicists, at which all the participants laughed, including Dirac, as quoted in Teil und das Ganze (1969), by Werner Heisenberg, p. 119; it is an ironic play on the Muslim statement of faith, the Shahada, often translated: 'There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is his Prophet.'} ~ Wolfgang Pauli
Humor Friends quotes by Wolfgang Pauli
An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can't have ... Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?"
"Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow ... "
"I'd worked that much out for myself, funnily enough. ~ J.K. Rowling
Humor Friends quotes by J.K. Rowling
One memory I have is there were a lot of dogs at this one place and my brother got in a horrific fight with a dog and the dog bit his toe off. They became fast friends after that. He lost a toe and gained a friend. ~ Jared Leto
Humor Friends quotes by Jared Leto
The world's full of wonder, he said. Or at least horror that looks wondrous from afar. ~ Luke Scull
Humor Friends quotes by Luke Scull
Once everyone is connected to everyone and everything else, nothing matters anymore. If everyone in the world is your Facebook friend, then why have any Facebook friends at all? We're back where we started. The ultimate complexity is just another entropy. ~ Douglas Rushkoff
Humor Friends quotes by Douglas Rushkoff
Not because of you. You were perfect. Are perfect. You're considerate, moral, brave. But you reminded me…"He couldn't finish.
I swallowed through a dry throat. "Of her."
"No." He blinked. "Of me. Who I used to be. Somebody who would stick up for his friends, even if it was risky. Somebody who put other people first. Somebody who…" He let out a helpless laugh. "Somebody who screwed up a lot. ~ Jenn Marie Thorne
Humor Friends quotes by Jenn Marie Thorne
Zebras are the lions of the animal world. I mean they would be, if lions weren't already the lions of the animal world.

So, is this a book about zebras or pianos? Well, I haven't played a zebra or ridden a piano in a few years, but that doesn't mean I'm not an expert on both.

In fact, the Bantu bestowed upon me the name "Pundamilia Mozart kupanda kinanda ng'ombe dume", which roughly translated means, "Zebra Mozart who rides piano benches like they're bulls."

That's right, my friends. I'm an international man of mystery. Here's some advice: If you want to be seen as more mysterious, remember to turn on the fog machine before you make your entrance. ~ Jarod Kintz
Humor Friends quotes by Jarod Kintz
I can be really silly when I'm not actually writing silliness, and I have to rein that in. Pynchon, in my opinion, sometimes tells elaborate shaggy dog stories just to work up to a pun or punch line. My challenge is to use humor and wordplay to reinforce the emotional core of the novel. ~ Mary Kay Zuravleff
Humor Friends quotes by Mary Kay Zuravleff
Does life really stink or are you sniffing in the wrong places? ~ Kristi Lynn Davis
Humor Friends quotes by Kristi Lynn Davis
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. ~ Juvenal
Humor Friends quotes by Juvenal
There is an emotional promiscuity we've noticed among many good young men and women. The young man understands something of the journey of the heart. He wants to talk, to "share the journey." The woman is grateful to be pursued, she opens up. They share the intimacies of their lives - their wounds, their walks with God. But he never commits. He enjoys her... then leaves. And she wonders, What did I do wrong? She failed to see his passivity. He really did not ever commit or offer assurances that he would. Like Willoughby to Marianne in Sense and Sensibility.

Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Look at his track record with other women. Is there anything to be concerned about there? If so, bring it up. Also, does he have any close male friends - and what are they like as men? Can he hold down a job? Is he walking with God in a real and intimate way? Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent of Adam's passivity and/or violence? Is he headed somewhere with his life? A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure, and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well. ~ Stasi Eldredge
Humor Friends quotes by Stasi Eldredge
Your problem is a serious lack of imagination. You can't imagine being different than you are. ~ Linda Morris
Humor Friends quotes by Linda Morris
If we are lucky, we can find a moment on the 31st to take a deep breath and sit very still. We can focus on all that is right with the world and all that is wrong - on all the ways we have striven for personal decency in our lives and, alas, on all the ways we have failed. We can recall the people we have loved who we have lost, and ponder the friends and family who deserve more attention than we give them.

And maybe those are the only resolutions that matter: the ones that focus on others. ~ Chris Bohjalian
Humor Friends quotes by Chris Bohjalian
Well, speaking as a feminist, I'm glad that women can lead
uh, groups of unspeakable magical evil."
"Yes," Alan said gravely. "It'd be shoking if the evil magicians were sexist. For one thing, that would mean they were stupid, and having stupid enemies would be a terrible blow to my manly pride. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan
Humor Friends quotes by Sarah Rees Brennan
My senior year of high school, I was voted 'Wittiest.' So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money. ~ Barbara Park
Humor Friends quotes by Barbara Park
The eyes of the sad souls become friends with shadows, not with lights! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan
Humor Friends quotes by Mehmet Murat Ildan
For clothes and accessories, I love my friend's boutique; One by One and UT.LAB for shoes. ~ Fei Fei Sun
Humor Friends quotes by Fei Fei Sun
Fuckhead:
The name's MariKETA.
Go to hell,
The WITCH, doing a creepy spell somewhere right now. ~ Kresley Cole
Humor Friends quotes by Kresley Cole
Unsettling, like seeing Stalin on a skateboard. ~ David Nicholls
Humor Friends quotes by David Nicholls
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