Redneck Quotes

I love Johnny Cash, and I respect Johnny Cash. He's the biggest. He's like an Elvis in this business, but no, he's never been the rebel. ~ Waylon Jennings

This place is just too frickin precious," the cop said, eyeing a guy dressed in a hot pink leisure suit with makeup to match. "Give me rednecks and home-grown beer any day of the week over this X-culture bullshit. ~ J.R. Ward

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Any questions I had about whether a redneck from Oklahoma could become a Brown Classical Philosophy professor ended when I met Tim [Blake Nelson]. ~ Edward Norton

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Well, he's scoring in that video." "That guy wasn't guarding him. Obama is POTUS. He is mother-effing POTUS. And even if he wasn't POTUS, Obama still had that ball hanging out so far that anybody could have blocked it. You could have blocked it, Ed. That shit was as weak as the public option in health care. If Obama pulled that on me, I'd block it like some racist-ass redneck senator from Alabama. ~ Sherman Alexie

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That's why so many rednecks die in strange ways. ~ Jase Robertson

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

He called back with an incredible report: there were people lined up around the store already.
Wow, I thought.
Wow!
Wow didn't begin to cover it. People lined up on two floors of the store to talk to Chris and get their books signed, hours before he was even scheduled to arrive. Chris was overwhelmed when he got there, and so was I. The week before, he'd been just another guy walking down the street. Now, all of a sudden he was famous.
Except he was still the same Chris Kyle, humble and a bit abashed, ready to shake hands and pose for a picture, and always, at heart, a good ol' boy.
"I'm so nervous," confided one of the people on the line as he approached Chris. "I've been waiting for three hours just to see you."
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Chris. "Waitin' all that time and come to find out there's just another redneck up here."
The man laughed, and so did Chris. It was something he'd repeat, in different variations, countless times that night and over the coming weeks.
We stayed for three or four hours that first night, far beyond what had been advertised, with Chris signing each book, shaking each hand, and genuinely grateful for each person who came. For their part, they were anxious not just to meet him but to thank him for his service to our country-and by extension, the service of every military member whom they couldn't personally thank. From the moment the book was published, Chris became the son, the brother, the nephew, the cousin, ~ Taya Kyle

Southern girls are God's gift to the entire male population. There is absolutely no woman finer than one raised below the mason-dixon line and once you go southern may the good Lord help you - you never go back ~ Kenny Chesney

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Jase and I asked Mia what she wanted to do before her surgery. "How about a family party?" she suggested. So the invitation went out. It's interesting when you mention to family members that they are going to be on TV--schwoom, they are there. As Willie said, "I didn't know we had this much family."
Mia had always heard the funny stories about Jase wrestling with his brothers and cousins growing up, particularly how cousin Amy beat up Willie, so that's what she requested for the special entertainment. As Jase said, "It's the ultimate redneck dinner theater." A wrestling ring was delivered, and the warmup act was the Robertson boys clowning around, performing their best wrestling moves. Willie surprised everyone with guest professional wrestlers, including Jase's favorite, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.
I felt kind of bad for them, wearing only their little wrestling pants, while the rest of us were bundled up in winter coats. Yes, it was January, but it was unusually cold in Louisiana--about twenty degrees. The wrestlers had to keep moving fast; otherwise, they would have frozen to death!
At the end of the party, Mia took the stage between Jase and Willie, thanking everyone for coming and then sharing from her heart: "My favorite verse is Psalm 46:10: 'Be still, and know that I am God!' God is bigger than all of us, and He is bigger than any of your struggles, too." I think I can say that there was hardly a dry eye in the crowd. Going into her surgery, Mia was being bra ~ Missy Robertson

I'm a redneck. And we can wear whatever because we just really don't care about those things. And when you're a redneck named Bubba, you really don't care. ~ Bubba Watson

Elvis transcends his talent to the point of dispensing with it altogether. ~ Greil Marcus

Having a little pee in your pants had to be better than being dinner for some redneck. ~ Christopher Paul Curtis

I like to say, in Hollywood, you can't make a redneck movie without me. That doesn't happen. You better not do it. ~ David Koechner

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions. ~ Hal Sparks

See, heroes never die. John Wayne isn't dead, Elvis isn't dead. Otherwise you don't have a hero. You can't kill a hero. That's why I never let him get older. ~ Mickey Spillane

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Whenever I'd get howlin' over something, he'd grab my ass up from wherever I was and head straight for the john. Momma said my head would get banged up along the way, but she said it
was probably bein' dunked under water that made me stupid. ~ Cole Alpaugh

The Pennsylvania Game Commission has charged a man with going deer hunting with a handgun in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He is being charged with reckless endangerment, but may plead guilty to the lesser charge of being a redneck ... Hunting in a Wal-Mart parking lot. That's got to be some good eating - a deer that lives on leftover Twizzlers and Mountain Dew. ~ Jay Leno

Elvis was rock'n'roll. He came from the poverty and the pain. ~ Link Wray

If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody. ~ Bill Engvall

He had been hurt doing everything he had ever done. He expected it, even wanted it. Nothing centered a man like pain. Nothing drove the irrelevant bullshit our of your mind like the taste of your own blood. Duffy always wanted to tell people who were worried about the future of their children, or about God and the order of the universe, to go out and break a rib or two. A few broken ribs threw all thoughts of children, God and the order of the universe right out the window. Nobody with broken ribs ever had free-floating anxiety, or so Duffy was convinced. It was cheaper that a psychiatrist and never so humiliating. ~ Harry Crews

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Im not a redneck, Im from Texas. ~ Chris Kyle

He wouldn't have seen the wolf in redneck clothing. ~ Lauren Myracle

He was a moth to her flame, a marshmallow to her campfire, a redneck to her bottle rocket ... ~ Nine Naughty Novelists

Among the rednecks of America, which there are many more than people seem to realize, it was terribly damaging. I got blamed for O.J.'s acquittal. ~ F. Lee Bailey

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

I think I may have created a monster with my - I won't say act - but with my redneck pose. ~ Billy Carter

Unfortunately we just toured the East and West coasts so we didn't run into any rednecks. ~ Ville Valo

For all his apologies, the convict Esau Davis was just a low-level toilet scrubber without the sense that God gave a goat. If she could get to a pistol or a shotgun or a hammer or a screwdriver, Caddy Colson would go all redneck on his ass and tear him a new asshole. That's the way she was feeling, sitting there in the front seat of his shitty old truck, muffler rattling loose and wild, while he took Kleenex to his bleeding eye and talked about old times with Jamey Dixon like he thought they could still be friends after all this shit went down. ~ Ace Atkins

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Country music is about new love and it's about old love. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

And I thought, y'know, I mean…this is crazy. I mean, the only thing that determines what country you belong to is where you happened to be born? What is a country, anyway? It's not, y'know, "purple mountain's majesty" or "fruited plains," whatever the hell that means. I mean, America isn't a place, it's an ideal. It could happen in the Sahara Desert and still be America. For that matter, I'm the child of immigrants. My father's lived and worked in this country for the past three decades. And he's somehow more or less American than some redneck who uses Osama bin Laden for toilet paper? How the hell do you measure something like that? ~ Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Along with the concept of American Dream runs the notion that every man and woman is entitled to an opinion and to one vote, no matter how ridiculous that opinion might be or how uninformed the vote. It could be that the Borderer Presbyterian tradition of "stand up and say your rightful piece" contributed to the American notion that our gut-level but uninformed opinions are some sort of unvarnished foundational political truths. I have been told that this is because we redneck working-class Scots Irish suffer from what psychiatrists call "no insight".Consequently, we will never agree with anyone outside our zone of ignorance because our belligerent Borderer pride insists on the right to be dangerously wrong about everything while telling those who are more educated to "bite my ass! ~ Joe Bageant

Elvis was just like a big old kid. It was like he never got past 19, I don't think, in a lotta ways. ~ Mac Davis

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! ~ Jeff Foxworthy

So you can shoot?" "Yeah. My dad taught me. Won a few competitions when I was younger. Farmer's Daughters of America." "Sounds like a redneck dating site." "It does, doesn't it? ~ T.M. Frazier

We were so invisible as to be misrepresented even in caricature, lumped in with other sorts of poor whites, derogatory terms applied to us even if they didn't make sense. We lived on the open prairie, so we weren't "roughnecks" in oil fields; Kansas had a humble tap on oil thousands of feet below the prairie, but nothing like Oklahoma or Texas to the south. "Redneck" and "cracker" didn't quite translate, since their American usage was rooted in the slave South, against which Kansas had lit many of the fires that sparked the Civil War. ~ Sarah Smarsh

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

It's pretty amazing to me that my first hit record was an Elvis Presley record. ~ Mac Davis

Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority. ~ Bill Hicks

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

What in the world happened?" Phil asked me. "Did you flip your truck?"
"It's a long story," I said. "Let's go duck-hunting."
We ended up having one of our best duck hunts of the season. When we returned to Phil's house, I filled up about twenty bottles of water. My busted radiator leaked the entire way home, and I had to stop every couple of miles to fill it up with water. There was a body shop close to our house, so I pulled in there before going home.
"Well, whatcha think?" I asked the mechanic.
"Well, we can fix it," he said. "I can get you a radiator."
"What's it going to cost me?" I asked.
"Well, what are you going to do with the deer?" he said. "I can get you a radiator for the deer."
About that time, the mechanic's assistant walked up to my truck.
"What are you going to do with the rack of horns?" the assistant asked me.
"Hey, if you can fix my door so it will close, you can have the horns," I told him.
There's nothing quite like good, old-fashioned redneck bartering. Unfortunately, I didn't get off so easy with the damage to Missy's car. In all the excitement of the day, I'd completely forgotten to tell her that I'd wrecked her car. When I got home, she told me somebody pulled in the driveway and sideswiped it. I couldn't tell a lie.
"You remember how you scolded me about forgetting to turn out the carport light?" I said.
"Yeah," she said.
"Well, this is what happens when you start worrying about sma ~ Jase Robertson

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Other days, like any redneck, I'm proud, ornery, and defiant! Who the fuck am I to think that due to my political leanings, slightly above average intelligence, and genuine compassion for all of mankind I'm somehow better than the people around me? I mean, I am--but seriously, who am I to think that? ~ Trae Crowder

It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor - which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride. ~ David Cross

Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly. ~ Willie Robertson

Is it too redneck to say you look sexy operating a radio? Chase.. ~ Kristen Simmons

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Hunting humans for sport? Eating them?" the bitterness in his voice cut through me. "Yeah, I caught that part."
"That doesn't have anything to do with you?
He lifted his eyes, gaze shuttered. "No?"
"Not unless being a werewolf transforms you into a wolf AND a redneck moron. ~ Kelley Armstrong

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it. ~ Mac Davis

Money is my drug of choice
and you can't make money if you're always stoned or high. (Twila Taunton in Redneck P.I.) ~ Trish Jackson

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

It wasn't Glen's jealousy that surprised him. "You owe Roy money?"
"Yep. Borrowed it to get my truck painted."
"Roy's a loan shark, too?"
"You ever see JAWS?" Snakebite asked.
Glen said he had.
"How 'bout THE GODFATHER?"
"Yeah."
"Well, if Michael Corleone waded out in the ocean and fucked that shark, then you'd have old Roy."
from the Tom Franklin short story "Grit" (page 31) from POACHERS:STORIES ~ Tom Franklin

I don't know any redneck that's not into fun. That's their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck. ~ Si Robertson

When somebody like Elvis Costello comes along, anybody can make a good record with him. ~ Nick Lowe

It was Elvis who really got me hooked on beat music. When I heard 'Heartbreak Hotel' I thought, this is it. ~ Paul McCartney

As with other terms that have derogatory histories, reclaiming "redneck," "trailer trash," "hillbilly," and so on is a sort of cultural self-defense, I guess. That is understandable enough. But I never would have put you in a shirt with any of those words on it. If such a trend existed when I was little, Mom wouldn't have put me in one, either. ~ Sarah Smarsh

I don't think I'm a good ol' boy. Honestly, the last thing I am is a redneck. I like silk sheets, fancy cars, beautiful women, good whiskey. ~ Joe Jamail

And if there's any hope for America, it lies in a revolution, and if there's any hope for a revolution in America, it lies in getting Elvis Presley to become Che Guevara. ~ Phil Ochs

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

I had a dream that I lost my teeth and when I woke up they were all still in my mouth, thank God that I am not a Hill Billy after all. ~ Starley Ard

I always found strange comfort that the American propensity for mixing alcohol and firearms cut across racial, socioeconomic, and cultural divides, from rural redneck to ghetto gangbanger to skeet-shooting blue blood. ~ Brad Parks

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

There has been a tendency to personify racism in the figure of a working-class white redneck who dislikes Black people and spouts hateful things, as opposed to a middle-or upper-class white person who might decry such hatefulness but still embraces racially unjust policies. ~ Jeanne Theoharis

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America. ~ Jon Stewart

Eleven on a scale of ten, honey, let me introduce you to my redneck friend. ~ Jackson Browne

Well, I quit those days and my redneck ways. ~ Elton John

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

I met a redneck on a Grecian isle who did the Goat Dance very well. ~ Joni Mitchell

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car. ~ Jeff Foxworthy