Condom Quotes

Brownies and a condom. ~ Jill Shalvis

[Television executives] are afraid to advertise condoms that could save lives, but do not blush about telecasting a National Geographic special on President Reagan's pelvic plumbing. ~ Martin Nolan

I haven't tried this with anyone ... signifacant in a long time. It's never worked before."
"You haven't had sex before?"
"I have. But not with anyone i cared about or ... knew. One-time things. That's all."
"That's all-ever?"
"It's not like they 've been tons of them. There were more before, in high school, than there have been the last three years."
"Lucas? I said yes, and i meant it. I want this-as long as you have protection, i mean. I want this, with you. So this is okay. Please don't ask me to say stop."
"I want it to be better than okay. You deserve better than okay."
"You 're shaking, Jacqueline. Do you want to-"
"No." "I'm just a little cold."
"Better?"
"Yes."
"You know you can say it. But i'm not asking you to, this time."
"Good."
His earlier hesitation gone, he removed the last scraps of fabric we were wearing, fixed the condom in place, kissed me fiercely and rocked into me. ~ Tammara Webber

I reach around his body and cup his ass. When my hand finds the toy lodged there, I groan into his mouth. "Do it," he pants. Everything begins to happen very fast. With a firm grasp, I remove the toy, while Wes slicks up my dick. He yanks me off the sofa's back and braces himself against it. "Go," he orders. I come up behind him and grip his hips, the head of my cock sliding between his taut ass cheeks. Just like the other night, I'm floored by the sensation of being skin to skin. There's no barrier between my throbbing dick and his tight ass, and when I drive deep on the first stroke, we both groan with abandon. "Fuck me," he demands when I go still. But I'm too busy savoring the incredible feeling of being inside him without a condom. I roll my hips and he growls like a grumpy bear. "I swear to God, Canning, if you don't move, I'm gonna - " I pull out, then slam right back in. He makes a choked sound, his entire body trembling. "You're gonna what?" I ask mockingly. ~ Sarina Bowen

Blood pressure check!" The doorknob rattled, as if the nurse were intending just to walk in, but the lock held, thank God. The nurse knocked again.
"Oh, shit," Gina breathed, laughing as she scrambled off of him. She reached to remove the condom they'd just used, encountered . . . him, and met his eyes. But then she scooped her clothes off the floor and ran into the bathroom.
"Mr. Bhagat?" The nurse knocked on the door again. Even louder this time. "Are you all right?"
Oh, shit, indeed. "Come in," Max called as he pulled up the blanket and leaned on the button that put his bed back up into a sitting position. The same control device had a "call nurse" button as well as the clearly marked one that would unlock the door.
"It's locked," the nurse called back, as well he knew.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, as he wiped off his face with the edge of the sheet. Sweat much in bed, all alone, Mr. Bhagat? "I must've . . . Here, let me figure out how to . . ." He took an extra second to smooth his hair, his pajama top, and then, praying that the nurse had a cold and couldn't smell the scent of sex that lingered in the air, he hit the release.
"Please don't lock your door during the day," the woman scolded him as she came into the room, around to the side of his bed. It was Debra Forsythe, a woman around his age, whom Max had met briefly at his check-in. She had been on her way home to deal with some crisis with her kids, and hadn't been happy then, either. "And ~ Suzanne Brockmann

He gave us three irrefutible pieces of advice about the male species:
1. Boys will lie, cheat, and steal to get into your pants. A man will stand the test of time. Make him wait, and you'll see which one he is.
2. They will try to tell you that it feels better without a condom. You just tell me where they live.
3. And relationships are supposed to make your life better. You don't drag each other down. You hold each other up. ~ Penelope Douglas

Some people have made some mistakes … and some mistakes have made some people. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, "You want me to wear a condom?! ~ Jarod Kintz

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up! ~ Frankie Boyle

Condom," she gasped.
A movement stopped.
"What?"
Phoebe felt the earth open up in preparation of swallowing her. How could she have not mentioned this before?
"I'm not on anything right now," she whispered. "Birth control. I'm not on the Pill." She gestured helplessly.
"Shit, fuck, damn."
Disappointment tied her in knots. "I was really only interested in that middle part," she joked.
There was a second of silence, followed by a low chuckle. "You're never predictable, Phoebe. I'll give you that. Cross your fingers."
"What?"
"Cross your fingers. I might have a condom in my shaving kit."
There was movement and rustling, then the sound of a zipper being opened.
"I'm going to have to put on the light."
She briefly debated being polite and closing her eyes, but who was she kidding? She wanted to see Zane naked. In preparation, she raised up on one elbow and stared in his general direction. When the light came on, she saw all she wanted and more.
He was kneeling at the end of the sleeping bag. Naked, aroused and more physically perfect than any man had a right to be. She saw the definition in his arms, the broad strength of his chest and his flat stomach before lowering her attention to his large, hard penis.
The physical proof of his desire for her made her so happy, she nearly cried. Her other instinct was to part her legs, tell him never mind with birth control and protection and demand he take her right there ~ Susan Mallery

Ranger was grinning widely. As soon as he got to Landry, who was still giggling, Ranger straddled him again and planted a hand on either side of his head as he spit out the condom. ~ Patricia Logan

Labor Day. We could hear their bellow and grind from the Route 19 overpass. Below, the river gleamed like a flaw in metal. Leaving the parking lot behind, we billy-goated down the fisherman's trail, one by one, the way all mountain people do. Loud clumps of bees clustered in the fireweed and boneset, and the trail underfoot crunched with cans, condom wrappers, worm containers. A half-buried coal bucket rose from the dirt with a galvanized grin. The laurel hell wove itself into a tunnel, hazy with gnats. There, a busted railroad spike. The smell of river water filled our noses. ~ Matthew Neill Null

I had sex with a statue a few months ago. The sex was so still that I'm still wearing the condom. ~ Jarod Kintz

She hated him, this man, and these men: the ones who picked her up without expression and used her without emotion. The ones who picked her up with no more regard than they had for picking lint off the collars of their well-pressed suits. She preferred the sweaty nervousness of young virgins or the eager speediness of excited old vets with their knobby fingers and waxy breath to these cold, hard men. These were the ones who called her squaw. Who called her half-breed, the ones who would just as soon slap her than bother to put on the condom she always handed them. She often wondered why they didn't just keep the $80 it cost to be with her and drive their comfortable, bucket-seated SUVs home to the suburbs. They could kiss their wives hello and then slip into very hot showers to jerk off for free. Their peckish wives could spend the money they saved spending an afternoon getting the silk wraps and pedicures that would goad them into putting out anyways. To these men she had no name and no face. She was a hole. Consequently, she held no regard for these bastards. She gave them the calculated respect accorded to dangerous dogs. ~ Cherie Dimaline

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

What are you gonna help us with? That very tiny used condom? ~ Booth

Be here, be here, be here," he muttered as he pawed through everything. Then he grabbed a square packet in triumph. "Got one."
She couldn't help smiling. "Only one?"
He grinned. "We'll have to be creative after that."
He handed her the condom, then clicked off the light. "Where was I?" he asked.
"You can pretty much be anywhere you want to be," she told him.
"Good. Then I want to be here."
He pulled off her panties in one smooth move. ~ Susan Mallery

Lock surveyed all the costumes. Some must have cost a small fortune and some were ridiculous. Is that supposed to be a used condom? ~ Shelly Laurenston

This baby didn't come from romance, it turns out. It came from somebody forgetting to put a condom back on and now he's very, very sorry about that lapse. ~ Maddie Dawson

President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme - "Safer, Stronger, and Tested." Isn't that a condom ad? ~ Jay Leno

Her eyebrows lifted up. "You came here to seduce me armed with just one condom? What were you thinking?"
He breathed out hard. "Oh come on, Tate, don't be nasty. I wasn't sure whether you'd talk to me. I didn't want to jinx it by being cocky and coming here with a string of latex. You know you would have had mt arrogant, self-centered ass for it," he muttered. ~ Elle Aycart

She's been used more often than a jailhouse condom. ~ Michael Robotham

Do you happen to have another Condom? I think I've discovered the cure for headaches. ~ Stephen King

Olsons P.I. 'Kenny Jones' as he approaches a barman in a notorious Bangkok Gay bar as part of an investigation -
'I was tempted to ask him if he had heard the one about the two condoms walking down Soi Rome when they see The Balcony Pub. One condom turns to the other and says 'Let's go in there and get shit-faced' - ~ Warren Olson

Trojan is a no-blow-job- condom. The flavor is horrible. Someone should come up with a barbecue-flavored condom for the hood. But greedy bitches would probably start chewing dicks. ~ Eric Jerome Dickey

You two are making me feel like I need to wear a condom over my head so I can't get pregnant from just listening to the both of you. ~ Christine Zolendz

Wearing a condom is like eating an icecream cone with a sock on your tongue. ~ Mark Gungor

Worry is to human beings ... what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Speaking of which, about assuming you had a condom - I just meant that you, with your experience, would be prepared for responsible sex, even if it were on the fly. An intelligent man is prepared for spontaneity. ~ Roberta Pearce

Wes spares the couch a single glance. "Dude, my couch is wearing a condom. ~ Sarina Bowen

Take it all off. I don't intend to fuck somebody in his underwear. And you have to use a condom. I know where I've been, but I don't know where you've been. - Lisbeth Salander ~ Stieg Larsson

When someone is HIV-positive and his partner says, I want to have sexual relations with you, he doesn't have to do that. But when he does, he has to use a condom. ~ Godfried Danneels

Me? I like wearing a condom. It means I'm having sex. I already spend most of my time NOT wearing one. It's like a tuxedo - I enjoy putting one on for special occasions. ~ David Mazzucchelli

We took a hike in Malibu and shared ice cream. I stayed with him while he had walking pneumonia, heating soup and pouring him glass after glass of ginger ale and feeling his fevered forehead as he slept. He warned me of the life that was coming for me if I wasn't careful. Success was a scary thing for a young person, he said. I was twenty-four and he was thirty-three ("Jesus's age," he reminded me more than a few times). There was something tender about him, broken and gentle, and I could imagine that sex with him might be similar. I wouldn't have to pretend like I did with other guys. Maybe we would both cry. Maybe it would feel just as good as sharing a bed. On Valentine's Day, I put on lace underwear and begged him to please, finally, have sex with me. The litany of excuses he presented in response was comic in its tragedy: "I want to get to know you." "I don't have a condom." "I'm scared, because I just like you too much." He took an Ambien and fell asleep, arm over my side, and as I lay there, wide awake and itchy in my lingerie set, it occurred to me: this was humiliating, unsexy, and, worst sin of all, boring. This wasn't comfort. This was paralysis. This was distance passing for connection. I was being desexualized in slow motion, becoming a teddy bear with breasts. ~ Lena Dunham

I think you´re beautiful. And I´m no stranger to fucked-up families."
And then he was kissing her again. The addictive pull of his mouth almost had her crawling into his lap. Her hands bunched in his shirt, pulling him closer. [...]
Layne always rolled her eyes in health class when they talked about hormones getting out of control. But right now, she could barely remember her name. She totally got how someone could forget something like a silly little condom.
Suddenly Gabriel was laughing. "How someone could forget what?"
She almost fell off the bench. "I said that out loud?"
"Yeah." He leaned closer, his breath against her jaw. "Just what were you thinking about? ~ Brigid Kemmerer

Damn it, Emily. I'm responsible for your safety." "Then wear a condom!" "Jesus," he said, breathing out hard. "I was right before. You definitely have multiple personalities." My eyes narrowed. "Yeah, well maybe I do, and none of them like you! ~ Alison Bliss

Mestre. Say the word without hissing the conurbated villain, and pitying its citizens. As quickly as they can, two million tourists pass through, or by, Mestre each year, and each one will be struck by the same thought as they wonder at the aesthetic opposition that it represents. Mestre is an ugly town but ugly only in the same way that Michael Jackson might be desccribed as eccentric or a Tabasco Vindaloo flambéed in rocket fuel might be described as warm. Mestre is almost excremental in its hideousness: a fetid, fly-blown, festering, industrial urbanization, scarred with varicose motorways, flyovers, rusting railway sidings and the rubbish of a billion holidaymakers gradually burning, spewing thick black clouds into the Mediterranean sky. A town with apparently no centre, a utilitarian ever-expandable wasteland adapted to house the displaced poor, the shorebound, outpriced, domicile-deprived exiles from its neighbouring city. For, just beyond the condom- and polystyrene-washed, black-stained, mud shores of Marghera, Mestre's very own oil refinery, less than a mile away across the waters of the lagoon in full sight of its own dispossessed citizens, is the Jewel of Adriatic. Close enough for all to feel the magnetism, there stands the most beautiful icon of Renaissance glory and, like so much that can attract tourism, a place too lovely to be left in the hands of its natives, the Serenissima itself, Venice. ~ Marius Brill

We are still not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame but there are 3,000 Kiss products, a Kiss musical toothbrush, everything from Kiss caskets to Kiss condoms. There are no Radiohead condoms ... ~ Paul Stanley

In the dining hall, I got in line with my tray, next to Paul. "Tell me if you see anything you could put a condom on. Something long and hard enough."
"What the hell is going on in cabin eight?" he asked. ~ Sonia Hartl

did he bring a condom to have sex with a woman with no uterus? ~ Carol Maloney Scott

Religion reminds me of a lace condom. While lovingly crafted, it's not designed for pleasure; unless inflated with fervour, it collapses; one size does not fit all; and no matter how many times you dunk it in holy water, it will not prevent misconceptions or contagion. ~ Lowestoft Thellow

After weighing the pros and cons, I've decided sex with you would be mutually satisfying. You're attractive and pleasant. And clean. You kiss very well, and while I've found that's not always a reliable gauge for skill in bed, it often follows. If you're agreeable, we can finish dinner, I'll show you the greenhouse, then we can go in and have sex. I'm on birth control, but I would require you wear a condom. ~ Nora Roberts

Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing."
His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things. ~ Christine Feehan

maybe the love of my life got stuck in a condom ~ Nikki Davey

I quickly remember that I had put a condom in my satchel because I figured that pretending to be a ripped, violent warrior might just be walking lady porn. ~ Karina Halle

A brick and a blanket could be used as characters in a story full of clever dialogue, such as:

Brick: I checked everywhere, and it's not where I last left it. Did you touch my penis sandwich?

Blanket: What? Eww no, why would I touch your penis sandwich?

Brick: Well, would it make you more comfortable if I put on some condiments and rolled on a condom?

Blanket: Dude, or lady, whatever you are. I'm not gay - or straight. I'm not even bisexual. I'm a blanket, and I'm asexual. I'm also not hungry now. ~ Jarod Kintz

What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction ... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation. ~ Dov Davidoff

A condom prevents life. A gun takes life. Would a condom over the barrel of a gun prevent one life from taking another? ~ Jarod Kintz

Oh, by the way, the other day Gram's had the sex talk with me. She was checking to make sure we were using protection. It got really awkward, especially when she told Malik he could take some of Marks condom ~ Lisa Helen Gray

Wait," Eric said. "Do you have any camouflaged condoms?"
"Camouflaged?" The cashier's forehead crinkled in concentration. "I don't think so. We have every flavor and color imaginable, but I don't think we have any camouflaged."
"Why would you need a camouflaged condom?" Rebekah asked.
"So you won't see me coming. ~ Olivia Cunning

Princess, your temper tantrums make you as defective as an open-ended condom. ~ Gena Showalter

It's like a condom, Min, holes happen, I said, ~ Mary Calmes

I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts. ~ Dana Gould

I've got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection. ~ Jarod Kintz

I have a hat for it, actually." Elliott made a vague gesture with one hand. "Well, it's more of a full-body suit, really."
"Is that a euphemism for a condom?"
"No." He marched past me and lay down on the bed. "My mother knitted me a willy-warmer a few years back when we were having a cold stretch. She felt I wasn't like to produce the grandchildren she desires if I had as she put it, frost-shriveled parts. ~ Katie MacAlister

Used to have a crush on Dawn from En Vogue.
It's not like honey dip would wanna get with me,
But just in case I own more condoms than TLC. ~ Phife Dawg

I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms. ~ Aziz Ansari

I thrust my hips like a wild man and ended up filling a condom like a water balloon. ~ Ellie Saxx

I want to make you never want to leave from under me." Stitch gave him one more kiss before finally pushing himself up. Stitch had no idea he had already reached his goal, but Zak was a reasonable man, and he wouldn't make teenage-worthy promises or declarations. Life didn't work that way in his world.
Instead, he reached back with his hand without yet looking up. He was heavy with lazy, sweet exhaustion.
"What's this?" Stitch chuckled and pulled on his fingers.
"Nothing. Just wanted to touch you," muttered Zak, slowly turning his head and sprawling his cheek on the blanket to look back. He took a deep breath when Stitch pulled out his cock, leaving him boneless.
"You can touch me whenever you want." Stitch smiled at him with his eyelids lowered. He was the picture of satisfaction.
Zak snorted and pulled on Stitch's hand, getting to his feet. He didn't want to think about the bad blood left over from the spying. Or the broken window. "That's handy."
Stitch got rid of the condom and stroked Zak's ass with a lazy grin.
Zak sighed, looking at the large hand on his asscheek. "You know how to make a man feel special ~ K.A. Merikan

It started slow and hit her with the force of a sledgehammer, a cataclysm of such power she could only hold on to him and let it happen. He went rigid against her, rock hard in her arms, and he probably muttered "oh, shit" again, but she was beyond hearing, lost in some mind-scattered cloud of inexpressible pleasure. She fell back, limp, awash in shimmering sensation, and she knew an odd, faint trace of regret that he'd used a condom. She'd wanted all of him inside her, a total giving, and he'd withheld something. ~ Anne Stuart

You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month. ~ Amy Schumer

1. Boys will lie, cheat, and steal to get into your pants. A man will stand the test of time. Make him wait, and you'll see which one he is. 2. They will try to tell you that it feels better without a condom. You just tell me where they live. 3. And relationships are supposed to make your life better. You don't drag each other down. You hold each other ~ Penelope Douglas

There's a nice clear difference between real protection (wash your hands, or wear a condom) and the fake protection offered by institutions which often come, finally and sadly, to be much too interested first of all in protecting their own power. ~ Laura Mullen

I laugh hard enough to shake the mattress, but the poor man doesn't even notice. He's too busy grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer. Too busy stroking his cock as he sheathes himself. Too busy guiding that huge dick to my entrance and falling forward onto one elbow. The penetration is swift. One second I'm achingly empty, the next I'm deliciously full. Blake moans against my neck and drives his hips forward. Then he retreats, a slow, torturous withdrawal until only his tip is inside me, an unbearable tease. My inner muscles clamp tight, trying to draw him in again, but he stays in that position for a moment, his gaze locking with mine. ~ Sarina Bowen

Not without a condom." He recoils like I've said something heinous that's offended his delicate little self. "Jesus, Nate, I don't have a death wish." "Nat or Natalie." "You called me BJ. I get to choose. I like Nate. I might even add a dog to the end of that. Nate-Dog. I like it." He burps and comes to the sink. He's ~ Erin Leigh

They had this movie called Juno about a teenage girl who gets pregnant and it's nominated for an Oscar. That's an unusual experience for me, 'cause when a black girl gets pregnant it ain't no Oscar. It's social work and a box of condoms is what that is. ~ D. L. Hughley

Bracelets with white symbols?" Michael made the question casual; in fact, he bent his head and concentrated on tuning his guitar, not that it needed it. Every note sounded perfect as it whispered out of the strings. "Do you remember?"
"No." She felt a pure burst of something that wasn't quite panic, wasn't quite excitement. "Does that mean they have Protection?"
He hesitated for about a second, just long enough for her to know he was surprised. "You mean condoms?" he asked. "Doesn't everybody? ~ Rachel Caine

I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt? -timecode 1:11:10 ~ Bill Maher

For nothing is lost, nothing is ever lost. There is always the clue, the canceled check, the smear of lipstick, the footprint in the canna bed, the condom on the park path, the twitch in the old wound, the baby shoes dipped in bronze, the taint in the blood stream. And all times are one time, and all those dead in the past never lived before our definition gives them life, and out of the shadow their eyes implore us. - Robert Penn Warren, All the King's Men ~ Greg Iles

If you're going to have sex, use a condom. ~ Dennis Rodman

If we only said safe sex, use a condom, we won't stop the spread of AIDS in this country. ~ Thabo Mbeki

If love were a pirate, then maybe I would wear an unopened condom over my eye, like an eye patch, and shave off all my pubes and glue them to my face and call myself "Dick Beard. ~ Jarod Kintz

I brought a condom," I tell her when I slide her panties down. We're both hot and sweaty, and I can't resist hr anymore.
"I did, too," she whispers against my neck. "But we might not be able to use it."
"Why not?" I expect her to tell em this was all a mistake, that she really didn't mean to get me all hot and bothered just to tell me I'm not worthy enough to take her virginity, but it's the truth.
She clears her throat. "It all d-d-depends on whether or not you're allergic to l-l-latex. ~ Simone Elkeles

The worst of all of this is the lie that condoms really protect against AIDS. The condom failure rate can be as high as 20 percent. Would you get on a plane - or put your children on a plane - if one of five passengers would be killed on the flight? Well, the statistic holds for condoms, folks. ~ Rush Limbaugh

SlingBlade: If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth. ~ Tucker Max

Fifteen minutes, a myriad of cups, kleenexes and freshly-vacuumed floor mats and seat cushions later, Kay had the interior of the limousine looking ship-shape. Inching backward out of the car on her knees, she caught a glimpse of one last bit of trash she'd missed hiding under the driver's seat. Lowering her chest to the floor, she stretched her arm under the seat as far as it would go. She grabbed the item and pulled it out and raised herself up from her crouched position. She took one look at the used condom swinging from her fingers, screamed and flung it across the top of the front seat, where it stuck to the air conditioner vents on the dash. She knelt there staring at the thin latex mess, a million scenarios racing through her mind. ~ Delora Dennis

They'll have to eat first. And by the time they're finished, you'll be back."
"With the condoms." "Right." "For the giant orgy you're convinced we're about to have in the backyard."
"Dory! Just go!" "I'll go with," Ray said, getting up. "I need a snack." Which was how I ended up condom shopping with a vampire. ~ Karen Chance

If you want to stop, tell me now," he said as he ripped open a condom wrapper.
"Stop and I kill you. ~ Katie Reus

Everybody know that condom and birth control was white man scheme to kill off black people, but he don't care. ~ Marlon James

Without thinking, she reached down and grabbed his wrist. Holding his hand still, she thrust her hips forward and back, finding the right pace until the heavy tension returned, and she felt the telltale contractions begin again.
He swore softly. "Can you do that while I'm inside of you?"
"Absolutely."
She pulled his hand free and pressed the condom into his palm. "Can you put this on in the dark?"
He chuckled. "With you as motivation, I could probably put it on after I was dead. ~ Susan Mallery

I don't give a shit how many guys you hook up with as long as you use a condom. What I care about is whether you said yes. That's the only thing that matters. ~ Daisy Whitney

Don't talk to strangers. Don't do drugs. Don't smoke. Don't drink and drive. Don't have sex. Wear a condom. Wear sunblock. Wear a seat belt. Wear a helmet. If you see something, say something. Just say no. Stop, drop, and roll. Stop, look, and listen. Look both ways before you cross the street ...
Safety is an illusion. Bad things can happen to anyone at any time, whether you follow the rules or not. You can check left, check right, check left again before you step off the curb and into the crosswalk, but that won't stop an anonymous asshole in his shitty pickup from putting you in intensive care ... ~ Megan McCafferty

Doctors would only prescribe birth control in the most dire of circumstances, and even then, what form of birth control would they prescribe? There were no reliable options, except perhaps the condom. But condoms depended on the cooperation of men, and Sanger's experience in the tenements of New York City told her that men didn't mind six or seven children so long as they were able to enjoy sex when the mood struck them. Women were the ones dealing most with the consequences of sex, not only because they were the ones getting pregnant but also because they were the ones raising the children. ~ Jonathan Eig

Riding a bicycle makes you impotent. That's why I carry a bicycle seat in my pocket - because it's better than wearing a condom. ~ Jarod Kintz

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms. ~ Chris Hardwick

Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it ~ Bill Maher

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? ~ Dustin Hoffman

I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids. ~ Bill Cosby

If condoms and potentially microbicides can prevent millions of deaths [from AIDS], they should be made more widely available. I know that there are those who, out of sincere religious conviction, oppose such measures. And with these folks, I must respectfully but unequivocally disagree. ~ Barack Obama

His earlier hesitation gone, he removed the last scraps of fabric we were wearing, fixed the condom in place, kissed me fiercely and rocked into me.
Had this been Kennedy, it would have been over in a few minutes.
My last coherent thought, as Lucas took his time kissing and touching every part of me he could reach and my body arched into his, was Oh ... so this is what all the fuss is about. ~ Tammara Webber

All I wanted in this world was to be a mom."
"You regret it?" I ask.
"Being a mom? Never. Seducing your father and making sure he didn't use a condom, yes."
"I don't want to hear this."
"Well, I'm gonna tell it to you whether you want to hear it or not. Be careful, Alex."
"I am."
She takes another drag of her cigarette while shaking her head. "No, you don't get it. You might be careful, but girls won't be. Girls are manipulative. I should know, I'm one of them."
"Brittany is--"
"The kind of girl who can make you do things you don't want to do."
"Believe me, Mom. She doesn't want a kid."
"No, but she'll want other things. Things you can never give her."
I look up at the stars, the moon, the universe that I know doesn't end. "But what if I want to give them to her? ~ Simone Elkeles

Besides she's off birth control now. I don't want you guys naked within a hundred yards of her."
"Uh, how are we supposed to shower?"Trey asked.
Brian rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You can shower, dumbass. Just make sure you wear a condom." ~ Olivia Cunning

Another one says she has asnap-off crotch. What do you think she means by that? I'm a little worried,though, about all these outbreaks of lifestyle diseases. I carry a reinforced ribbed condom at all times. One size fits all. But I have a feeling it's not much protection against the intelligence and adaptability of the modern virus. ~ Don DeLillo

Ha ha. Ian, c'mon, we need to focus or we won't have anything to tell the kids in the morning. So far we're just going to unroll a condom onto a banana - which, despite how common that seems to be in sex-ed pop culture, I've never actually done. What if it breaks? The boys will be turned off of safe sex forever. ~ R.S. Grey

In movies they never put on a condom, so make sure you're in real life for that part. ~ Jenny Han

I don't have a condom. ~ Kendall Ryan

His head went back, on the stroke up, again. When he finally looked back at her hands still on him, and his cock all neatly wrapped, his words came out gravelly, and wondering.
"What a strange notion."
"You won't miss too much of the sensation. It's really not that bad."
His mouth quirked up at the corner.
"Why would I miss any sensation? The whole of our bodies are going to be touching. Are you going to encase the rest of me in a stocking?"
Laughter, again. It felt good, so good.
"I guess not - now get down here and fuck me. ~ Charlotte Stein

There's only so much I can do aside from locking him in his room or super gluing a condom to his penis ~ R.K. Ryals

Indeed, religion allows people to imagine that their concerns are moral when they are highly immoral - that is, when pressing these concerns inflicts unnecessary and appalling suffering on innocent human beings. This explains why Christians like yourself expend more "moral" energy opposing abortion than fighting genocide. It explains why you are more concerned about human embryos than about the lifesaving promise of stem-cell research. And it explains why you can preach against condom use in sub-Saharan Africa while millions die from AIDS there each year. ~ Sam Harris

You don't really have to fallin love with him, but he's not a terrible option for a fling. As long as you use a condom. Two condoms, even. ~ Sarah Mlynowski