Very Funny Quotes

When I was 12 I made some little films with my friends. I tried to make gangster films, like Fantomas, but I remember being very disappointed with them. They weren't frightening at all. I'm sure they'd be very funny now. ~ Alain Resnais

I like the hot-cold, the sugar-salt, being able to play over-the-top and dramatic things - in the same film. Just as in my life, I can be very funny and at other times almost extinguished. ~ Jean Dujardin

I think I always was a bit of a class clown, but I don't know how successful I was at that. I always think, when I read about people being class clowns, I imagine them being actually very funny, and I don't know that I was. But I tried to be, I think. ~ Chris Parnell

We're born to die, but don't know why or what it's all about
And, the more we try to learn, the less we know.
Life's a very funny proposition, you can bet,
And no one's ever solved the problem properly, as yet;
Young for a day, then old and gray,
Like the rose that buds and blooms, and fades and falls away.
Losing health, to gain our wealth, as through this dream we tour;
Ev'rything's a guess and nothing's absolutely sure.
Battles exciting, and fates we're fighting, until the curtain fall;
Life's a very funny proposition, after all. ~ George M. Cohan

Later on, like practically everyone else in our stupid and godless society, I was to consider these two years as "my religious phase." I am glad that that now seems very funny. But it is sad that it is funny in so few cases. Because I think that practically everybody does go through such a phase, and for the majority of them, that is all that it is, a phase and nothing more. If that is so, it is their own fault: for life on this earth is not simply a series of "phases" which we more or less passively undergo. If the impulse to worship God and to adore Him in truth by the goodness and order of our own lives is nothing more than a transitory and emotional thing, that is our own fault. It is so only because we make it so, and because we take what is substantially a deep and powerful and lasting moral impetus, supernatural in its origin and in its direction, and reduce it to the level of our own weak and unstable and futile fancies and desires. ~ Thomas Merton

And Sanderson?" "Are you kidding? I bet his girlfriend is a dominatrix or something." "Or his boyfriend." "No, he's so not cool enough to be gay." She was very funny. ~ Mary Calmes

I find Anders very funny and funny lasts forever." Samantha ~ Angela Nicoara

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty. ~ Ian Hislop

Definitely, I think I fulfill a very funny Indian stereotype because I love technology. It's something I've always been interested in. ~ Manish Dayal

I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but ... I have a reputation of - people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow. ~ Ian MacKaye

There are people who think the film 'This Is Spinal Tap' is simply a very funny 'mockumentary.' Well, with Yes, we lived it. Take the hilarious scene in the film in which the bass player is trapped in a giant pod - that actually happened to Alan one night. ~ Rick Wakeman

I'm having a cheeseburger," Anna said. "With fries smothered in vinegar and salt."
"I told you I wouldn't kiss you again. You don't have to poison your mouth."
"Very funny. What are you having?"
"Something with onions and garlic. ~ Shannon Stacey

Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense. ~ Tippi Hedren

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. ~ Ilona Andrews

I touched the small sacred images. I shook my head and bit my lip, as if to say, How awful that he should have stolen these! But I also found it very funny. And further proof that God had no power over me. ~ Anne Rice

Yes, Louise Brooks was beautiful and intelligent, and she could be very funny, but obviously there was a deep insecurity there, a real destructive rage and immaturity. ~ Laura Moriarty

My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken, normal human beings while I'm just a lunatic. I don't know where this loud, ballsy, hammy ridiculousness came from. I'm just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It's not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles. ~ Emma Stone

My goal was to show that even if people work in a garage or a supermarket, they have very funny things to say. We never hear their voices. ~ Michel Gondry

If my kids were to make a talking doll of me as a mother, one of my recorded phrases would be 'I will throw that in the trash.' 'If you don't put that down right now, I will throw that in the trash.' It's very funny to hear myself say certain things - like noticing which phrases become the most popular to use. ~ Justine Bateman

People of my generation in Portugal fell into the magic potion of political ideas. What was very funny about this revolution was that it did not bring wealth to the Portuguese. But it brought language, ideas. You'd go to the fish market, and all the women who were selling fish would call each other fascist, communist. ~ Maria De Medeiros

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best. ~ Eric Idle

Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy? ~ Jaclyn Moriarty

If the picture is not an artistic picture, it's show, like television. Television series are very funny, but it's a collective production. An industrial art. A car is not made by a person, it's made by a group of creators, only to go to the market to buy your cigarettes. That is a car - they are not a big art, they are a little art. ~ Alejandro Jodorowsky

Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we
want to be that, with no threat of censure or violence.
Safe gender is going as far in any direction as we wish,
With no threat to our health, or anyone else's.
Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not
Having to lie, not having to hide.
Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talking
To people who do gender, and opening up about our
Gender histories and our gender desires.
Sane gender is probably very, very funny.
Consensual gender is respecting each others' definition
Of gender, and respecting the wishes of some to be alone,
And respecting the intentions of others to be inclusive in
Their own time.
Consensual gender is non-violent in that it doesn't force
Its way in on anyone.
Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all
People as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit it. ~ Kate Bornstein

Morley joined them, and after a long, uncomfortable moment, Mrs. Grant decided to ignore his presence. The
guards didn't. Their knuckles were white on their weapons.
May I assist?" he asked, and put his hands behind his back. "I promise not to eat anyone."
Very funny," Mrs. Grant said. Morley gave her a grave look.
I wasn't joking, dear lady," he said. "I do promise. And I never make a promise I don't intend to keep. You
should feel quite secure."
Well, I'm sorry, I don't," she said. "You're just - "
Too overwhelmingly dashing and attractive?" Morley grinned. "A common problem women face with me.
It'll pass. You seem like the no-nonsense sort. I like that."
Claire smiled at the look on Mrs. Grant's face, reflected in the white LED light of the lantern she was holding.
You are really - odd," the older woman said, as if she couldn't quite believe she was even having the
conversation. ~ Rachel Caine

He's just so…so…unyielding."
"Wow, is that one of your SAT words?"
"Ha-ha, very funny. You know what I mean, though."
She shrugs. "Yeah, I know. He's always been that way. I kind of figured he'd grow out of it."
"Well, don't hold your breath. That boy's got a stick up his ass, if you ask me."
"A very attractive one at that."
"What, the stick or his ass? ~ Kristi Cook

Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre, he could be a very funny man to work with, always telling jokes and holding court. Of course, when I worked with Charlie he was getting older. ~ Tippi Hedren

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. ~ C.S. Lewis

I love a novel that's funny, and The Taxman Cometh is very funny, delightfully well-written, yet with a serious message about how government bureaucracy affects us all. Read. Enjoy. And if a comparison to Catch 22 pops into your mind, that's not surprising. ~ Marvin Kalb

Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right. ~ Kate DiCamillo

I had a very funny and depressing talk with my seventy-four-year-old mother. I decided, she doesn't have a bucket list - she has a kick-the-bucket list. ~ Lori Lesko

He truly wasn't very funny but:

1. Apart from Kyazike, who is ten times as funny as me, I don't find anyone as funny as me, even in this, the darkest period of my life.

2. Actually, no man is as funny as me or any woman I've ever met. ~ Candice Carty-Williams

Chris Rock is a very funny man. ~ Willie Geist

Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women. ~ Rachel Bloom

You're not enjoying yourself," Syl said. "You're starting to sound a lot like my mother." "Captivating?" Syl said. "Amazing, witty, meaningful?" "Repetitive." "Captivating?" Syl said. "Amazing, witty, meaningful?" "Very funny." "Says the man not laughing," she replied, folding her arms. ~ Brandon Sanderson

I think the main thing that affected my comedy was that my dad slept in a nightgown for most of my childhood. And it was just very funny every single night and made me realize that laughter is fun and nightgowns are cool. ~ Jenny Slate

It is very funny to listen to the lady renters (of any sex): having played the sport, having bashed the horse on its sore spine with their fat bottoms and dragged it with all their might by the mouth with the "iron," and finally having dismounted - they, for some reason, resort to baby talk, absolutely convinced of the horse's love for them. ~ Alexander Nevzorov

The story of money is very funny. Others burn what we earn. Why not give as we live, so the world will cry when we die. -RVM ~ R.v.m.

I'm driving home to change," Win said. "Then I'm dining at Merion." Mainliners never ate; they dined. "Care to join me?" "Sounds good," Myron said. "Wait a second." "What?" "Are you properly attired?" "I don't clash," Myron said. "Will they still let me in?" "My, my, that was very funny, Myron. I must write that one down. As soon as I stop laughing, I plan on locating a pen. However, I am so filled with mirth that I may wrap my precious Jag around an upcoming telephone pole. Alas, at least I will die with jocularity in my heart." Win. "We have a case," Myron said. Silence. Win made this so easy. "I'll tell you about it at dinner." "Until then," Win said, "it'll be all I can do to douse my mounting excitement and anticipation with a snifter of cognac." Click. Gotta love that Win. Myron hadn't driven a mile when the cellular phone rang. Myron switched it on. It was Bucky. "The kidnapper called again. ~ Harlan Coben

I'd stand on the street corner and score a steak," Cas said.
I couldn't help laughing. "You know, you might be flooded with business."
His mouth stretched into a lecherous grin. "If you come with me we could be rich by morning."
"Very funny. ~ Jennifer Rush

Here's some advice. Stay alive, says Haymitch, and then bursts out laughing. I exchange a look with Peeta before I remember that I'm having nothing more to do with him. I'm surprised to see the hardness in his eyes. He generally seems so mild.
'That's very funny,' says Peeta. Suddenly, he lashes out at the glass in Haymitch's hand. It shatters on the floor, sending the bloodred liquid running toward the back of the train. 'Only not to us.'
Haymitch considers this a moment, then punches Peeta in the jaw, knocking him from his chair. When he turns back to reach for the spirits, I drive my knife into the table between his hand and the bottle, barely missing his fingers. I brace myself to deflect his hit, but it doesn't come. Instead, he sits back and squints at us.
'Well, what's this?' says Haymitch. 'Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year? ~ Suzanne Collins

These things you know." Scarlett shook her head in a mock amazement. "Where do you get all this stuff from " "Books you know the things made from words printed on paper and bound together. Im sure you must have seen one even if you've never opened one " Max said. "Ha ha very funny " Scarlett said. Hannah found she had remembered how to smile. ~ Kate Forsyth

Very funny, and he laughed hard. Am I really stinko? On just three sips? He didn't think so, but he was definitely high. No more. Enough was enough. "Drink responsibly," he told the empty restaurant, and laughed. He'd hang out here for ~ Stephen King

Before Kiki and I headed toward the Keep, I thanked my friends.
"For what? We didn't do anything," Janco grumbled.
"For caring enough to follow my guards. And the next time, I might need the help."
"There better not be a next time," Ari said, giving me a stern look.
"How touching," Janco said, pretending to wipe his eyes.
"Get going, Yelena. I don't want you to see me cry." He faked a sniffle.
"I'm sure your ego can handle it," I said. "Or will you need to beat up some trainees to feel like a man again?"
"Very funny," he said. ~ Maria V. Snyder

Avery: Yeah right, very funny, when are you going to shoot me and dump my body at captree? This is Getting old. ~ H.M. Ward

One time I picked it up and a voice goes, 'Hi, it's Sinatra. Can you play me a record?' I was like, 'Oh yeah, very funny,' and hung up. I thought someone was having a joke, but it was actually Frank. My manager told me there aren't many people who put the phone down on Sinatra. ~ Tony Blackburn

Jack prepared another needle with the antibiotics.
"You're not sticking me with that."
"Come on. It'll only hurt for a second, and I'll get to look under that sheet again."
"Jack, I'm not kidding. I don't like shots. Enough already."
"You need the medicine. Now gimme your cheek."
"Ha. Ha. Very funny."
She let him give her the shot and stuck her tongue out when he finished. He loved how easily she made him laugh.
"Smart ass."
"Sore ass is more like it."

-Jenna & Jack ~ Jennifer Ryan

Let's hope my aging brain hasn't failed us." "Yes," Lana added. "Let's hope we're not in Canada or Mexico by now." "Very funny. ~ James Dashner

You didn't want to laugh, did you? It wasn't very funny, was it? ~ Graham Kennedy

Good gracious, Jerry, you'll probably have to marry the girl.'
Joanna was half serious, half laughing.
It was at that moment that I made a very important discovery.
'Damn it all,' I said. 'I don't mind if I do. In fact - I should like it.'
A very funny expression came over Joanna's face. She got up and said dryly, as she went toward the door, 'Yes, I've known that for some time ... '
She left me standing, glass in hand, aghast at my new discovery. ~ Agatha Christie

Breakfast time," he said eventually, casually - to prove, I'm sure, that he remembered all my human
frailties.
So I clutched my throat with both hands and stared at him with wide eyes. Shock crossed his face.
"Kidding!" I snickered. "And you said I couldn't act!"
He frowned in disgust. "That wasn't funny."
"It was very funny, and you know it." But I examined his gold eyes carefully, to make sure that I was
forgiven. Apparently, I was.
"Shall I rephrase?" he asked. "Breakfast time for the human. ~ Stephenie Meyer

Kurt Vonnegut wasn't a chatty guy, but when he spoke, it was always clear and very funny, in the way that he wrote, in a very specific kind of combination of word groupings and expressions that lived somewhere else. ~ Susan Sarandon

Comedy can be destructive, and still very, very funny. But if I can do something that is fun to watch and critical of the world but not wantonly destructive, I pursue those [kinds of] ideas more. ~ Bob Odenkirk

Why do I always have to remind you to look to where the danger waits, Warrior. Sheesh, what would you do without me?
"Uh, not be a murderous psycho?"
Very funny. ~ H.D. Gordon

Caution! Be very careful of false, meaningless, self-contradictory, and not even very funny warnings, like this one. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't know why, but I always feel a kind of necessity to write things that are beyond acceptance, that are too offensive or something. For people to read them and say, Ha-ha-ha, very funny. No, we can't print that. ~ Terry Southern

She pawed the air with a hand, getting shy. "Why Mr. Solomon. I didn't realize you liked little ole ladies." He lowered his head hiding his grin as she cackled boisterously at her little joke. "Very funny, Mary, soooo very funny. ~ Lucian Bane

I think it's a lot richer than what we call fleshy improv, I think it's very funny, puppet improv and fleshy improv. ~ Brian Henson

I think that the habit of gloomy poetry is very funny. It's like a special competition in losing. ~ Miroslav Holub

I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. ~ Petra Nemcova

You're starting to sound a lot like my mother." "Captivating?" Syl said. "Amazing, witty, meaningful?" "Repetitive." "Captivating?" Syl said. "Amazing, witty, meaningful?" "Very funny. ~ Brandon Sanderson

If I book a hotel it's actually very funny. It's very nice to be a genuine Mr Smith. ~ Robert Smith

I turned around to see Jim standing in the aisle with a smirk and a box of tampons in his hand.
Very funny asshole. Looks like you're on the rag this week. Make sure to get yourself some Midol and a copy of Terms of Endearment so you can have yourself a good cry. ~ Tara Sivec

Letter from Griffith-- "I know it is difficult, but do work harder to control yourself. Mother was beside herself with worry when she found you rolling on the floor laughing over a book you were reading."
The memory brought a curve to Miranda's lips. It had been a very funny book. ~ Kristi Ann Hunter

It's ridiculous that people call me a sex symbol. I don't feel like that at all. My daughter would get a kick out of it - she'd find it very funny. I'll take it though. I'm very humble. But it's certainly not the way I feel. ~ Mark Wahlberg

Jazz is capable of doing much more than depicting the dope fiend and the drunk and the slinky gal. In our show there are many very funny sequences where we were able to use jazz as it can be used-in a happy way. ~ Henry Mancini

This was only Taika Watiti fourth film [Hunt for the Wilderpeople], but I think he brings a very original way of looking at stuff and I think if you look at Boy, for instance, which is a beautiful film, that was his second feature, and it's heartbreakingly sad, but it's also simultaneously very funny. There are not many people who can do that. ~ Sam Neill

Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, commands you to yield the information you conceal!" Snape said, hitting the map with his wand.
As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the surface of the map.
"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
It would have been very funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And there was more...
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he'd opened them, the map had had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
(286 & 287) ~ J.K. Rowling

The animators are fantastic though. They'll shoot their own reference material, and just go into the car park or something. And they might shoot a very funny scene, or sometimes a serious scene. But they're really just trying to work out the motion. Yet what we get treated to is hilarious video of someone running around a parking lot with a broomstick and a helmet! ~ Chris Sanders

I'll buy you a blow-up doll. I'm sure my mate won't mind when I explain how hard up you are."
She didn't bother to punch him this time, just glared with promise of future retaliation. "Very funny. You wouldn't be laughing if you knew how sexually frustrated I am right now." [ ... ] "The last time was when that SilverBlade sentinel was in town for a communications meeting."
All amusement left Dorian's face. "You serious? That was months ago." A very long time to go without intimate touch. "Merce, that could get dangerous."
"I know. Do you think I don't know?" She thrust her hands through her hair. "Damn it Dorian! It's getting to the point where I'm starting to wonder if some of the wolves would be good in bed. [ ... ]
"Cat and wolf isn't a ... um ... normal combination."
"And Psy and cat is?" She made a face at him. "Yeah, yeah I know. Cat and wolf is strange." [ ... ]
"How about one of the Rats?" Dorian's eyes gleamed. ~ Nalini Singh

Jack Lemmon is my best friend and he's a very wonderful actor. A very talented, very funny man. A lovely man. We're like brothers! We are gifts to each other. He's such a fun personality. There will only ever be one Jack Lemmon. ~ Tony Curtis

Barbara and I had arrived early, so I got to admire everyone's entrance. We were seated at tables around a dance floor that had been set up on the lawn behind the house. Barbara and I shared a table with Deborah Kerr and her husband. Deborah, a lovely English redhead, had been brought to Hollywood to play opposite Clark Gable in The Hucksters. Louis B. Mayer needed a cool, refined beauty to replace the enormously popular redhead, Greer Garson, who had married a wealthy oil magnate and retired from the screen in the mid-fifties. Deborah, like her predecessor, had an ultra-ladylike air about her that was misleading. In fact, she was quick, sharp, and very funny. She and Barbara got along like old school chums. Jimmy Stewart was also there with his wife. It was the first time I'd seen him since we'd worked for Hitchcock. It was a treat talking to him, and I felt closer to him than I ever did on the set of Rope. He was so genuinely happy for my success in Strangers on a Train that I was quite moved. Clark Gable arrived late, and it was a star entrance to remember. He stopped for a moment at the top of the steps that led down to the garden. He was alone, tanned, and wearing a white suit. He radiated charisma. He really was the King. The party was elegant. Hot Polynesian hors d'oeuvres were passed around during drinks. Dinner was very French, with consommé madrilène as a first course followed by cold poached salmon and asparagus hollandaise. During dessert, a lemon soufflé, and cof ~ Farley Granger

I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I'm a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called 'Fame L.A.' The original role was for a comedian, but they said I wasn't very funny, so they asked me, 'What else can you do?' So I played a singer. ~ Christian Kane

very funny my sarcastic friend ~ Cassandra Clare

I hope they make a show like M*A*S*H, which dealt with a lot of difficult subject matter but was very funny. ~ Joan Severance

I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his stand-up routine. ~ Megyn Kelly

I like girls to be wild but at the same time beautifully brought up and very funny. ~ Karl Lagerfeld

I think it's very funny that someone would exaggerate to make himself look worse. ~ David Leavitt

It was funny. He was funny. Kat wanted to laugh. She tried to will herself to do it. To dance. To be the girl she'd tried - and failed - to be at Colgan.

But instead she inched away from the very kind, very funny, very handsome boy who had followed her into the dark, somehow bringing the music with him. ~ Ally Carter

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. ~ Gilbert Gottfried

I had no idea what they were saying in Italian as a child, they spoke too quickly on the radio. But I realized that language was very funny. ~ Dominic Chianese

A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it. ~ Calista Flockhart

I have a lot of people in my life who are truly ridiculous characters, and they're very, very funny people, but they don't really try to be. They're not cracking jokes. ~ Emile Hirsch

My father is doing a radio program - classical music. He has a beautiful speaking voice and that's his passion in life, his music. My mother lives in Melbourne and is an avid photographer. She's also started writing for a magazine out there and she submits poems, very funny ones, and articles. In some way or other, my family is always doing something with the media. ~ Olivia Newton-John

So, Orion Dude, you're an alien?" Stu said, finding it all very funny now.
"Hmm. If you're coming to my planet, Stu, actually you're the alien! As for Titan... we're all aliens," Orion replied. ~ Ruth Watson-Morris

I predict that I'll be breaking out the 'right to a trial defense' again," I said, trying to not act any weirder than I already was.

"You don't think he'll be willing to plead guilty?"

"Probably not. He firmly believes that claiming to be a complete idiot will get him off."

"You're very funny," he said, leaning against the defense table right next to me again.

"Mr. Pierce, in my line of work, one either laughs or cries and I would rather laugh." Oh Jesus H. Christ! I sounded like a country western song. ~ N.M. Silber

Who said anything about relationship? Besides, we're not required to share everything; it's not like we're married."
"You want to marry me?" Xavier asked, and I saw some faces turn toward us in curiosity. "I was thinking we'd start slow and see where things went, but hey, what the hell!"
I rolled my eyes. "Be quiet or I'll be forced to flick you."
"Ooh," he mocked. "The ultimate threat. I don't think I've ever been flicked before."
"Are you suggesting I can't hurt you?"
"On the contrary, I think you have the power to do great damage."
I looked at him quizzically and then blushed deeply when his meaning dawned.
"Very funny," I said curtly. ~ Alexandra Adornetto

I try to act cool. I've never had a hand on my thigh, under the table. Cathy - my brother's wife - is telling a very funny story about the family's trips to Bridlington, and her elderly Grandmother is doling out peas, which makes the experience even stranger. ~ Charlotte Stein

I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cross? Sound good?"(Brian)
She stared at him. He lifted his hands and leaned back in his seat, as if he was afraid she might start spitting on him. "Hey, only joking."
"Very funny."
"Oh, I do love jokes." Greyson Dante stood by her side.
"Hello, Mr. Dante. I'm afraid this is a private conversation, so you will, of course, be going now."
His grin widened. Was there no way to insult the man? ~ Stacia Kane

So, I'm the Eighth Wonder of the World. It's flattering and very, very funny. ~ Eva Longoria

Good afternoon, Nathaniel. Kindly return my basket."
"Is that all you have to say? You disappoint me. I thought you would send me sailing into the horse trough at least. I guess you respect my new position as a man of the world."
"You are not a man of the world, you clean paintbrushes, though for the life of me I don't know why Mr. Peale bothers with you. And you will end up in that trough if you don't give back my basket." I paused. "Your shoe buckle is missing."
"What?"
I grabbed the basket as he looked down to inspect his shoe.
"Very funny," he said. ~ Laurie Halse Anderson

No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. ~ Laura Bush

I'm now a pretty good mix of my mother and my stepfather because I'm in general pretty mellow. I'm not hyper-emotional. But there's also this side of me - my mother was an artist and very funny and a dancer and very wild and into fashion. My stepfather traveled a lot, and I kind of took on a role of parenting my mother a lot of times, because she was pretty hard to handle. A bit of a pistol. ~ Tig Notaro

Mr. Kadam, something's been bothering me."
He teased, "Only one thing?"
I laughed. "For now. I've been wondering, did you ever really ask Mr. Davis to come with you to take care of Ren? I mean, what would you have done if he'd said yes and I'd said no?"
"I did ask him, just to keep up appearances, but I also suggested subtly to Mr. Maurizio that it might be in his best interest to persuade Mr. Davis not to go. In fact, I offered him more money if he would insist Mr. Davis stay with the circus. As far as what to do if you had turned us down, I suppose we would have had to make you a better offer and keep trying until we found one you couldn't refuse."
"What if I still said no? Would you have kidnapped me?"
Mr. Kadam laughed. "No. If our offer had still been turned down, my next step would have been to tell you the truth and hope you believed me."
"Whew, that's a relief."
"Then I would have kidnapped you." He chuckled at his joke and turned his attention back to our dinner.
"That's not very funny, Mr. Kadam."
"I couldn't resist. Sorry, Miss Kelsey. ~ Colleen Houck

And it's very, very funny
When you've lots and lots of money
To be horrible to those with none!
Be horrible to those with none! ~ Anna Russell

He wasn't Ringo, though. He was more like Paul. Maureen was Ringo, except she wasn't very funny. I was George, except I wasn't shy, or spiritual. Martin was John, except he wasn't talented or cool. Thinking about it, maybe we were more like another group with four people in it. ~ Nick Hornby

I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that. ~ Amy Schumer

Sound ... if you look at bats you know that navigate with sonar, they're like you know they're very precise. They can even see a bat head towards a building and swerve away, but you'll see a bird that doesn't ... you know smash right into a glass window. It's very funny. ~ DJ Spooky

Hey!" said the guy in the video. "Greetings from your friends at Camp Half-Blood, et cetera. This is Leo. I'm the ... " He looked off screen and yelled: "What's my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or-"
A girl's voice yelled back, "Repair boy."
"Very funny, Piper," Leo grumbled. He turned back to the parchment screen. "So yeah, I'm ... ah..supreme commander of the Argo II. Yeah, I like that! Anyway, we're gonna be sailing towards you in about, I dunno, an hour in this big mother warship. We'd appreciate it if you'd not, like, blow us out of the sky or anything. So okay! If you could tell the Romans that. See you soon. Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out! ~ Rick Riordan