Candice Carty-Williams Quotes

He truly wasn't very funny but:

1. Apart from Kyazike, who is ten times as funny as me, I don't find anyone as funny as me, even in this, the darkest period of my life.

2. Actually, no man is as funny as me or any woman I've ever met.

I guess it's like that thing when a woman is meant to maintain eye contact with a man while she sucks his dick? I've never done it because I think that it's weird. When you're on the receiving end of the stare, it's just as weird.

I looked at my three friends, the lights exploding in the sky and illuminating their beautiful faces. They all represented a different part of my life, had all come to me at different times; why they'd all stuck with me, I was constantly tying to work out.

Being brave isn't the same as being okay," my mum said quietly.

Turns out the sadness that silence from the person you love brings can be temporarily erased by the dull thrill of attention from strangers.

That's the thing about people who love to play devil's advocate!' I shouted. 'There's no emotional involvement in it for you, there's nothing at stake!

The eye contact is strong and he's biting his lip when he's chatting to me, so I know he's feeling me. But then I check his accounts: minus four hundred pounds in his current, six grand in debt on his credit card. Queenie, I just bid him a good day and let him pass -

I stopped hacking at the thick string holding the weave in place. "But this could have been 'the one', Kyazike. What if you fell in love? You could have financially guided hi - "

"Financially guides who? Excuse me, Queenie, I cannot be with someone in that much debt. I have a lifestyle that needs sustaining. My Mr. Right cannot have minus money.

Is this what growing into an adult woman is - having to predict and accordingly arrange for the avoidance of sexual harassment?

Walking down Seven Sisters Road to the Tube station, in a move that wouldn't be worth Freud's time to dissect, I called Guy.

CAN YOU TURN THAT OFF, GRANDMA?' I shouted down. 'YOU KNOW I AM STRUGGLING.'

There was a long pause.

'Who yuh tink yuh talking to?' my grandmother shouted back. 'Yuh tink say you can be DJ inna my house cause of a man?

I wished that well-meaning white liberals would think before they said things that they thought were perfectly innocent.

Why are people always complaining about the dead period between Christmas and the New Year? It's complete bliss.

Sex is important isn't it? It's the thing that stops you from just being friends with someone. Else we'd all marry our friends.

My eyes must spend at least fifty per cent of any given day rolled to the back of my head.