Shepard Smith Funny Quotes

Most people sell their souls, and live with a good conscience on the proceeds. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith

Oh, I don't talk about God. ~ Shepard Smith

These people know the reality and laugh at it. Such laughter has little concern with what is funny. It is often bitter and sometimes a little mad, for it is the laugh under the mask of tragedy, and also the laughter that masks tears. They are the same. It is the laughter of people who value love and friendship and plenty, who have lived with terror and death and hate. - , Return to Laughter (1954) ~ Elenore Smith Bowen

Is that sex talk?" she asked uncertainly.
"It is."
"Why don't you just say sex then? It's always chalice and appetite and artifice with you. I never know what the hell you're saying. ~ R. Lee Smith

I sure love Ireland. The first trip I ever made was last year when I did this record in Dublin. ~ Michael W. Smith

My fellow Americans, good evening. My name is Becca Goldman and I weep with all of you.
I texted one word to Megan, 'Gag'
She wrote back: 'My name is Becca Goldman, and I sleep with all of you ~ Jeri Smith-Ready

I wasn't very good at the bike thing. Really, it was just dangerous to trust two skinny little wheels and spindly brakes with the considerably uncoordinated woman that is me. ~ Kathryn Smith

It's a funny thing about the modern world. You hear girls in the toilets of clubs saying, "Yeah, he fucked off and left me. He didn't love me. He just couldn't deal with love. He was too fucked up to know how to love me." Now, how did that happen? What was it about this unlovable century that convinced us we were, despite everything, eminently lovable as a people, as a species? What made us think that anyone who fails to love us is damaged, lacking, malfunctioning in some way? And particularly if they replace us with a god, or a weeping madonna, or the face of Christ in a ciabatta roll
then we call them crazy. Deluded. Regressive. We are so convinced of the goodness of ourselves, and the goodness of our love, we cannot bear to believe that there might be something more worthy of love than us, more worthy of worship. Greeting cards routinely tell us everybody deserves love. No. Everybody deserves clean water. Not everybody deserves love all the time. ~ Zadie Smith

So if he'd been a plumber, ___ _____ would've been about toilets?
Left blank to avoid spoilers but this is just too funny ~ Jeri Smith-Ready

LIZZ WINSTEAD Instead of Jon playing a character - the news anchor, one of the derelicts in a derelict world of media - Jon made a creative decision to take the show in the direction of the correspondents presenting the idiocy, and then Jon is the person who calls out the idiocy with the eloquence that the viewer wishes they had. And he did it in a way that's not condescending, it's not smug. It's funny, it's emotional, it's calling out bullshit. So Jon became the voice of the audience. ~ Chris Smith

My job on 'Dark Shadows' was to make it fun and funny, first and foremost. It can still be dark and it can still even be gory and gothic at times, but it also needed to be fun and it needed to be an experience that people would enjoy having. ~ Seth Grahame-Smith

It is troublesome sometimes when people get up in your face in public, you know? And say, 'How could you, how dare you?' Well, they don't know me. ~ Shepard Smith

When I hear people say that Fox News is right wing, I know that's not true, because I'm the one doing the news. It's my show, and there's no place for opinion on my show. It's uninteresting to me. ~ Shepard Smith

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. ~ Arthur Smith

We have a product for sale called news, and I'm a salesman. ~ Shepard Smith

I think my general disposition on life is finding what's funny about it. When something happens, the first thing in my mind is, "What's funny about it?" ~ Will Smith

People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form of entertainment. It's very private. I don't see my dreams as separate. I mean, half the time I'm wandering around dreaming anyway. ~ Robert Smith

I love kids; I think they are fun and funny. ~ Courtney Thorne-Smith

I think there's an interesting contradiction of having a young face and an old soul. There's something funny about it, and it also allows you to reinvent being old. ~ Matt Smith

Working for the Man seemed really good to me. ~ Shepard Smith

How did you get into the castle, Alexandre, son of Gilles Smith?"
Sand shrugged. "A saint kidnapped me from his shrine and put me into a fireplace here. So I guess the answer is, a miracle of Saint Melor. Or so I think. He has not told me."
"If you are trying to antagonize him, you are doing a good job," Perrotte whispered.
Sand scuffed his shoe at her. "I'm just telling the truth!"
"You're very good at telling it in the most maddening way possible."
"Thank you? ~ Merrie Haskell

There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable. ~ Robert Smith Surtees

Will Smith is a funny person, a very likable person, but at the same time he can be serious and really handle his business. I'll stay away from talking about his rapping abilities, though. ~ Colin Kaepernick

You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck. ~ Bubba Smith

He who drinks a tumbler of London water has literally in his stomach more animated beings than there are men, women, and children on the face of the globe. ~ Sydney Smith

Elsewhere there are no mobile phones. Elsewhere sleep is deep and the mornings are wonderful. Elsewhere art is endless, exhibitions are free and galleries are open twenty-four hours a day. Elsewhere alcohol is a joke that everybody finds funny. Elsewhere everybody is as welcoming as they'd be if you'd come home after a very long time away and they'd really missed you. Elsewhere nobody stops you in the street and says, are you a Catholic or a Protestant, and when you say neither, I'm a Muslim, then says yeah but are you a Catholic Muslim or a Protestant Muslim? Elsewhere there are no religions. Elsewhere there are no borders. Elsewhere nobody is a refugee or an asylum seeker whose worth can be decided about by a government. Elsewhere nobody is something to be decided about by anybody. Elsewhere there are no preconceptions. Elsewhere all wrongs are righted. Elsewhere the supermarkets don't own us. Elsewhere we use our hands for cups and the rivers are clean and drinkable. Elsewhere the words of the politicians are nourishing to the heart. Elsewhere charlatans are known for their wisdom. Elsewhere history has been kind. Elsewhere nobody would ever say the words bring back the death penalty. Elsewhere the graves of the dead are empty and their spirits fly above the cities in instinctual, shapeshifting formations that astound the eye. Elsewhere poems cancel imprisonment. Elsewhere we do time differently.
Every time I travel, I head for it. Every time I come home, I look for ~ Ali Smith

Miranda: You say you were my guardian angel. Does that mean you watched me all the time? Like when I got my period or doctored a zit or took a shower or-
Zachary: I'm an angel, not a Peeping Tom. ~ Cynthia Leitich Smith

I don't own a car. ~ Shepard Smith

You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot. ~ Sherwood Smith

Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you. ~ Jerry Coleman

God, all those months of seeing Kelsey's pictures and hearing about her travels, and I had been raging with jealousy. And now it was my turn.
I wanted to mind the gap at the tube station and eat fish and chips and try to make the Queen's guards laugh. I wanted to see Big Ben and the Globe and the London Bridge and Dame Judi Dench. Or Maggie Smith. Or Alan Rickman. Or Sir Ian McKellen. Or anybody famous and British, really.
Holy crap. This was really happening.
And I wasn't just a tourist. I was visiting with someone who'd grown up in the city. With my fiancé.
Take that, world. ~ Cora Carmack

It's this funny thing now: You sign up to be a musician because you want to write music, but you don't spend your time writing music. Instead, you go around the world selling the music you've already made. ~ Zachary Cole Smith

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it. ~ Arthur Smith

Gram was flirting with Ken! ~ Virginia Smith