Mother Daughter Humorous Quotes

THE UNOFFICIAL AND UNWRITTEN
(but you better follow them or you're going to get beaten twice as hard)
SPOKANE INDIAN RULES OF FISTICUFFS:
1. IF SOMEBODY INSULTS YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
2. IF YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS GOING TO INSULT YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
3. IF YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS THINKING ABOUT INSULTING YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
4. IF SOMEBODY INSULTS ANY OF YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, OR IF YOU THINK THEY'RE GOING TO INSULT YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, OR IF YOU THINK THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT INSULTING YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
5. YOU SHOULD NEVER FIGHT A GIRL, UNLESS SHE INSULTS YOU, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR FRIENDS, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HER.
6. IF SOMEBODY BEATS UP YOUR FATHER OR YOUR MOTHER, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE SON AND/OR DAUGHTER OF THE PERSON WHO BEAT UP YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER.
7. IF YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER BEATS UP SOMEBODY, THEN THAT PERSON'S SON AND/OR DAUGHTER WILL FIGHT YOU.
8. YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK FIGHTS WITH THE SONS AND/OR DAUGHTERS OF ANY INDIANS WHO WORK FOR THE BUREA OF INDIAN AFFAIRS.
9. YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK FIGHTS WITH THE SONS AND/OR DAUGHTERS OF ANY WHITE PEOPLE WHO LIVE ANYWHERE ON THE RESERVATION.
10. IF YOU GET IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY WHO IS SURE TO BEAT YOU UP, THEN YOU MUST THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY PUNCH YOU'LL EVER GET TO THROW.
11. IN ANY FIGHT, THE LOSER IS THE FIRST ONE WHO CRIES. ~ Sherman Alexie

Fame is rot; daughters are the thing. ~ James M. Barrie

There is nothing more precious than laughter ~ Frida Kahlo

Yes, it's quite amazing how I continue to shock my mother even after all these years together ~ Eloisa James

From the time I was a child I wanted to be like my mother. Not necessarily an actress - I never dreamed I'd have the courage. But an active, volatile woman like she was. ~ Isabella Rossellini

No influence is so powerful as that of the mother. ~ Sarah Josepha Hale

Women hand sight down through the generations. Mother to daughter. ~ Jewell Parker Rhodes

Every Mother contains her daughter in herself and every daughter her mother and every mother extends backwards into her mother and forwards into her daughter. ~ C. G. Jung

My mother's love has always been a sustaining force for our family, and one of my greatest joys is seeing her integrity, her compassion, her intelligence reflected in my daughters. ~ Michelle Obama

My mother wanted me to be her wings, to fly as she never quite had the courage to do. I love her for that. I love the fact that she wanted to give birth to her own wings. ~ Erica Jong

I make sure I carve out time to be with my daughter. ~ Georgina Chapman

Cancer affects all of us, whether you're a daughter, mother, sister, friend, coworker, doctor, patient. ~ Jennifer Aniston

The mother is the early care giver and primary source of identification for all children ... A daughter continues to identify with the mother ~ Nancy Chodorow

I always have a camera now that I've got a kid, but I don't think I've got one picture of anyone other than my daughter. ~ Georgina Chapman

I had such a hard time finding great organic and non-toxic items for my daughter. ~ Soleil Moon Frye

Mother and daughter like spoons in a drawer. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

I looked up at the sky. A mother wants to make friends with her daughter. The daughter wants a mother more than a friend. Ships passing in broad daylight. Mother has a boyfriend. A homeless, one-armed poet. Father also has a boyfriend. A gay Boy Friday. What does the daughter have? ~ Haruki Murakami

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, 'Just wait. ~ Judy Tenuta

Women have a mother-nature and a daughter-nature; there are no women with a wife-nature. The quality of wife is an acquired character; it is a combination of mother and daughter. ~ Lu Xun

Maybe it's just a daughter's job to piss off her mother. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

There's no more important bonding thing than a mother doing the daughter's hair. We sit at our mother's knee and learn who we are. ~ T'Keyah Crystal Keymah

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one. ~ Erma Bombeck

My mother had a fear of doctors - other than her daughter marrying one. ~ Shelley Berkley

But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced. ~ Wanda Sykes

The love between a mother and her daughter is special. A mother takes her daughter under her wing and teaches her how to be a woman. In order to do this, you have to ask yourself what it means to be a woman of today. How do you balance care for others with your own quest for meaning and joy in life and how do you pass on these lessons to your daughter? ~ Laura Ramirez

Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around. ~ Barbara Delinsky

How do you build a relationship when you've hardly shared a word but suddenly share a child? How do you love a daughter you don't see for nearly two years? When does she become your daughter? How does she become your daughter? ~ Boris Becker

I would infinitely prefer a daughter. ~ Maurice Sendak

Dermatology ... this young daughter of medicine ... ~ Paul Gerson Unna

When I look at female characters, I want to recognize myself in them: my trials, my tribulations as a mother, as a lover, as a daughter. ~ Vera Farmiga

Back in the day, it was either both a mother and her daughter had pubic hair, or the daughter didn't. Today, in many a case, the mother is the one who doesn't. ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

My daughter's mother and I are no longer dating, and the people I'm most likely to date are those around me, who are athletes. ~ Tyson Gay

If the mother had not beene in the oven, shee had never sought her daughter there. ~ George Herbert

I'd rather not be known as the Vice President's lesbian daughter. ~ Mary Cheney

My daughter and stepson are really broad-minded. ~ Sade Adu

Caution is the daughter of circumspection, but she tends to outgrow her mother. ~ Franz Grillparzer

Greece is the mother of democracy and South Africa is its youngest daughter ~ Nelson Mandela

A fight with her mother? It was certainly within the realm of possibility, I guessed. Elizabeth was a teenager and her mother was ... well, her mother. Normally they were the best of friends, but even best friends fight. ~ James Patterson

I finished 'Heartsick' with my daughter asleep in her bassinet by my desk, a feat that any new mother will tell you cannot be sufficiently praised. ~ Chelsea Cain

Every time I look into the mirror, I want to see a man whose mother, sister, wife and daughter are proud to call their own. ~ Farhan Akhtar

Becoming a mother is the best thing that's happened to me. ~ Paula Patton

My daughter and two sons are the flowers in my heart and garden. ~ Ana Monnar

The best Mother's Day gift I ever got was just a full day with the kids where they did their mommy pampering. They cut cucumbers and put them on my eyes and my daughter gave me a facial. I'm not even sure what was in it! ~ Elisabeth Hasselbeck

In 'Laurence Anyways,' Nathalie Baye is Laurence's mother, and she is quite an awful mother. Still, she is the only one in the end who truly accepts her daughter. ~ Xavier Dolan

My daughter teases me once in a while saying, Remember when you used to be my mother and you had black hair? ~ Loni Anderson

My daughter is exceptionally chatty. I'm not a braggy mother but she is gifted - with the personality of a Russian gymnastics coach. ~ Caroline Rhea

A woman is a mother, daughter, and sister of every man; how she could be wrong? ~ Debasish Mridha

Whenever my teenage daughter comes down the stairs dressed like a tramp for her date, I think to myself: 'Damn, why won't her mother wear something like that ?' ~ David Henry

When a mother dies, a daughter's mourning never completely ends. ~ Hope Edelman

Mothers ... would do anything to steer their daughter the right way. It is frustrating beyond measure for them when a daughter screams, 'You don't understand, and you'll never understand!' The mother stamps her foot in aggravation, but in this case the daughter is right: the mother doesn't understand. She merely remembers, and memory is separate from experience. ~ Caitlin Flanagan

Once you become a mother, your heart is no longer yours ... My daughter is the greatest thing I'll ever do in my life. ~ Kim Basinger

Until 1943 I received no stipend. I was able to support myself as my mother was the daughter of a relatively wealthy cotton manufacturer. ~ Frederick Sanger

I may be boring, but it would be to wake up by my dog and then my daughter. ~ Izabella Scorupco

Morality measured in centimeters: all mothers believe that only their daughters dance decently. ~ Jose Bergamin

There's a kind of intimacy that happens between a mother and an only child. Which only gets more intimate when it's between a mother and only daughter. ~ Leigh Newman

I fear, as any daughter would, losing myself back into the mother. ~ Kim Chernin

It's an odd thing when there is a fan page for my daughter who is not yet 13. ~ Johnny Depp

When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter - that's something. ~ Lou Gehrig

The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter. ~ Tatum O'Neal

The women I love most are Latina - my sister, mother, and daughter. They're spontaneous but spend a majority of their time trying to make others happy. ~ William Levy

When I come home, my daughter will run to the door and give me a big hug, and everything that's happened that day just melts away. ~ Hugh Jackman

I think my mother realized she had a somewhat unusual daughter pretty early on. ~ Amber Heard

The female attention I have to struggle hardest with is from my two-year-old daughter. ~ Dan Stevens

I am all the time talking about you, and bragging, to one person or another. I am like the Ancient Mariner, who had a tale in his heart he must unfold to all. I am always buttonholing somebody and saying, "Someday you must meet my mother." ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sin is the mother, and shame the daughter of lewdness. ~ Philip Sidney

I'd had my daughter when I was a teenager - I took my daughter to college with me. ~ Loni Anderson

My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all. ~ Joan Rivers

Dixie Carter was a goddess. The kind of wife and mother that every mother hopes their daughter will become and the kind of friend that is absolutely irreplaceable. She loved fiercely and was adored in return. ~ Annie Potts

She was like a mother to me ... and I betrayed as a daughter will betray her mother and yet, never stop loving her. ~ Philippa Gregory

As the idealized mother, I might choose Irene Dunne as the mother in 'I Remember Mama' who strives and not just cooks and scrubs for her children, but who also acts as her daughter's literary agent. ~ Richard Corliss

You live and die according to what goes on in yourself, which no one else can even begin to know, not even father, mother, wife, son, or daughter. ~ William, Saroyan

I don't cook. My mother didn't cook. My daughter doesn't cook. ~ Erica Jong

On famous relatives - First I was my mother's daughter..and now..I am my daughter's mother ! ~ Abha Maryada Banerjee

As a teenage daughter hears her sweet mother plead unto the Lord that her daughter will be inspired in the selection of her companions, that she will prepare herself for a temple marriage, don't you believe that such a daughter will seek to honor this humble, pleading petition of her mother, whom she so dearly loves? ~ Thomas S. Monson

I love to sing with my daughter. Audiences like it because a mother-daughter pairing is a curiosity. ~ Montserrat Caballe

The daughter never ever gives up on the mother, just as the mother never gives up on the daughter. There is a tie there so strong that nothing can break it. ~ Rachel Billington

That is not a crack house. It is a house with a family with a father and a mother and three sons and a daughter. ~ Rob Ford

The essential thing about mothers is that one needs to know that they are there, particularly at that age when, paradoxically, one is trying so hard to break away from parental influence. ~ Margot Fonteyn

I am the daughter of Nigerian immigrants. My mother is a survivor of both polio and of the Igbo genocide during her country's civil war in the late 1960s. ~ Uzo Aduba

When a mother, as fond mothers will; vows that she knows every thought in her daughter's heart, I think she pretends to know a great deal too much. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

Whether your mother is a novelist like mine or a third-generation military wife, the idea of a son or daughter being in mortal danger is terrifying. ~ Elliot Ackerman

God has enabled man to distinguish between his sister, his mother, his daughter and his wife. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

The mother and daughter whose roles had reversed - Grandma gladly relinquishing parental responsibility, my mother grimly accepting the task, struggling to find a place for an old woman who'd suddenly become a strange hybrid of tolerant mother and rebellious daughter. My father, in the living room, not wanting any part of it. ~ Janet Evanovich

And I am standing in front of my mother, and my whole life I have wanted to make my mother proud. And now I'm going to make my daughter proud. ~ Nicole Kidman

The weaving of life between mother and daughter is just like the making of a basket. As time goes by, the interlacing takes shape and becomes stronger. ~ Haley Elizabeth Garwood

It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the endearing relationships of father and mother, husband and wife; of brother and sister, son and daughter, mashed potatoes and gravy. ~ Parley P. Pratt

I just loved Bette Davis and the fact that I had a chance to work with her [on the 1979 TV movie Strangers: The Story of a Mother and Daughter] was momentous. ~ Gena Rowlands

They both began to giggle and then they fell into a side splitting round of laughter, the cleansing, complete sort of laughter only a mother and daughter can share. ~ Karen Kingsbury

I'm proud of being a mother, a wife, a daughter, and a sister, and a lover and a friend We're all God's children. ~ Whitney Houston

Although in my life the level of loss has never reached the extremes it does in 'The Winter People,' I certainly can identify with being both a daughter longing for her mother and being a mother who is almost scared by the intensity of her love for her daughter. ~ Jennifer McMahon

Once, I was my mother's daughter. Now I am my daughter's mother. ~ Lisa Gardner

Religion brought forth riches, and the daughter devoured the mother. ~ Francis Bacon

Women have always ruled my life, be it my mother, my wife, my assistant, or my daughter, so I don't really fight with them. I relinquished control years ago. ~ Jon Bon Jovi

I covered Kennedy when she was three years old and the darling daughter of President Kennedy who doted on her and whose mother did everything to protect her from the prying press. ~ Helen Thomas

My mother had no idea that her daughter would turn out to be a writer, but she would not let me go through a day of my childhood without music. ~ Virginia Euwer Wolff

Fantasy has a better chance of lasting than a lot of other things. The Hobbit and the Narnia books, they seem to get handed down father to son, mother to daughter. Because they're set in a fantasy world, they can remain relevant. ~ Stephen King

'Traveling with Pomegranates' is a very personal, very honest story about my relationship with my daughter and Ann's with her mother. ~ Sue Monk Kidd

Once upon a time there was a widow who had two daughters. The elder was so much like her, both in looks and character, that whoever saw the daughter saw the mother. ~ Charles Perrault

Liberty is not the daughter but the mother of order. ~ Pierre-Joseph Proudhon

Your daughter is your child for life. ~ Marlene Dietrich