James Patterson Quotes

Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster. ~ James Patterson

Even for a meth addict. She was sleeping ~ James Patterson

What happened to your tan. ~ James Patterson

If you wanted me to take a shower, you should have payed me ten bucks like you usually do! ~ James Patterson

I think about what I didn't say then, which is this: the stars we see aren't even real stars. We see the light that they gave off millions of years ago but that is only now reaching our eyes. We don't see a star as much as a memory. ~ James Patterson

This summer, I'll be bringing out a mystery that involves a young lawyer and a court scene the likes of which I don't think you've ever seen. Hollywood said this is James Patterson meets John Grisham. ~ James Patterson

It's the ciiiiiiiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiife! Iggy sang ~ James Patterson

Fang and I searched in every way we could think of and found a million institutes of one kind or another, in Manhattan and throughout New York state, but none of them seemed promising. My favorite? The Institute for Realizing Your Pet's Inner Potential. Anyone who can explain that to me, drop a line. ~ James Patterson

When are you going to trust me Max?" asked Fang.
"When I go completely bonkers," I laughed. ~ James Patterson

What are they teaching these thugs? -Why are there so many of them? -What is the Institute for Higher Aeronautics? -How many of the are there? There are only six of us! Why? -Why is DC public transportation so weird? -Why don't we mug those Eraser goons for money more often? -Fang's Blog ~ James Patterson

The hardest part about parenting is when I have to be The Dad
aka the Fun-Sucker
as opposed to being a friend. ~ James Patterson

Adolescents were the most wretched humans of all. ~ James Patterson

Let judgment be in the courts. This isn't about politics, or faith, or even race. It's about the right to be free from hate. I am convinced that the world doesn't break in the face of its worst possible deed. The world mends itself. ~ James Patterson

Across from the famous jewelry store on Fifth Avenue at Fifty-Seventh Street, we sat in the back of a graffiti-covered white box truck watching the world go by on the surveillance vehicle's hidden high-def camera. So far there had been no sign of the thieves. Or even Audrey Hepburn. ~ James Patterson

Have you been playing in toxic waste lately? ~ James Patterson

He and I have history; ~ James Patterson

The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you're faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking. ~ James Patterson

There's nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you've got a good fit going. ~ James Patterson

It's okay, Ig." said Fang. "Just give it your best shot." Sometimes the Fangster is incredibly supportive, just not with me. ~ James Patterson

Learn to think smart, stay one step ahead of the game instead of having the game bite us in the ass. Or ~ James Patterson

The media are right now in the process of doing millions upon millions of dollars' worth of free PR work for whoever is doing this. Such over-the-top, wall-to-wall coverage just sets the bar higher and higher each time for the nut jobs and terrorists to get everybody's attention. "Which means bigger explosions, more bodies, and more atrocities. They should take their cue from the baseball media, which nipped fan stupidity in the bud when they wisely decided to stop showing people who run onto the field." "So don't tell people there's terrorism? That's your solution?" said Brooklyn. "How about at least not sensationalizing it so much?" Arturo said. "This is a bloodbath. Stop selling the frickin' popcorn. ~ James Patterson

People always remember the worst day of their lifes. It becomes a part of them forever. ~ James Patterson

To say good-bye. I wasn't there to tell her how much I ~ James Patterson

You can help each other, Max, said the unwelcome voice. You're perfect complements to each other.
"Shut up!" I hissed under my breath, and Dylan looked startled.
"I didn't say anything."
Gritting my teeth, I nodded. "No, I know. It's just-" I decided to take a risk and stare him down. "I hear voices, okay? If you're gonna be here, get used to it. Or else keep your distance. ~ James Patterson

Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open.
Have you been watching Oprah again? ~ James Patterson

Painting, not that lifeless husk ~ James Patterson

So there we were around four thirty that afternoon, driving past the Omaha Country Club into the bedroom community of Raven Oaks. ~ James Patterson

Awwww, lame, we're not going to disneyworld. (said by the amazing talking dog, Total) ~ James Patterson

I don't damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much. ~ James Patterson

I don't believe in lecturing people. It's much more effective to present reading as a fun, rewarding pastime. ~ James Patterson

I heard a horrible, stomach-turning crack that vibrated up my arms. Ari and I stared at each other in shock. "You really hurt me," he gasped rawly, terrible surprise in his voice. "I wouldn't hurt you. Not like this." Then his head flopped down, and Ari went totally limp. His ~ James Patterson

Toxic pheromone pollution. How can we combat that?" Charles Groh and I looked at each other. This was it. We'd finally arrived at the hard part. What had to be done. "The first step," I said, "would be removing the factors that are causing the environmental disturbance." "Remove petroleum products?" said the president. "And cell phones?" said the secretary of state. I nodded at both of them, then looked out at the faces around the table and on the screens. ~ James Patterson

He was the Teacher, the world was his students, and class was about to begin. ~ James Patterson

Humans were the weakest species. Maybe that was why they could be the meanest animals. ~ James Patterson

Why did she do this to me?" I mumble. "Actually, Samuel, from my preliminary scans of your internal organs, it does not appear that our mother has done anything to you. Were you in need of repair as well? If so, I am certain she will - ~ James Patterson

Bombs are good. I love bombs."--Iggy ~ James Patterson

This thing called Contrmporary America--and its obsession with televisions, game systems, and computers_has gone a littlr far if you ask me. Some call it the Information Age, but I'd tend to say it's more the Sitting-on-one's-butt-and-letting-other-people-do-the-thinking-for-you Age. ~ James Patterson

Attack of the Kitchen Appliances! ~ James Patterson

Generally I find that kids ask better questions than you get with adults. Something that kids will do a lot is, they're so nervous, and they're not really paying attention, so they'll ask the same question someone just asked. And you're trying to be nice and not embarrass them any more than they are already. ~ James Patterson

Behind every successful woman, there's a big prick. ~ James Patterson

It gets so tiring, this strong-picking-on-the-weak stuff. It was the story of my life -literally- and it seemed to be a big part of the outside world too. I was sick of it, sick of guys like these, stupid and bullying. ~ James Patterson

Let's show Dr. God what hell feels like. ~ James Patterson

grandeur that few people ever ~ James Patterson

I've always been into 'fast-paced, don't bore 'em, keep it moving along, stick with the story.' You know: tell a story the way I want to hear a story. I find it more rewarding to write for kids, but I also find it a little easier, because you can just let loose a little bit more in terms of fantasy and stuff. ~ James Patterson

Because what if the three billion dollars were paid? What was to stop them from blowing up the cliff anyway? Or charging another three billion next week? Though it wasn't announced, the mayor had also decided that, deadline or no deadline, she wasn't going to give them a single penny of her or the city's money. Which, again, was exactly right, in my humble opinion. Terrorists needed to be dealt with head-on. Whoever was doing this to us needed to be found and stopped, not negotiated with. ~ James Patterson

I swung my head around and ~ James Patterson

Gazzy called over to me "I can't see anything!"
"I can't see anything either," Iggy complained.
"I'm rolling my eyes, Ig." I had to tell him that because he couldn't see me do it, what with his blindness and all. ~ James Patterson

Don't be afraid."
"I hear voices," Iggy said. "Be very afraid. ~ James Patterson

You're lucky if you find something you like to do, and it's a miracle if somebody will pay you to do it. ~ James Patterson

I'm glad you feel that ~ James Patterson

Mike, you ready? he said. The coliseum-like, bowl-shaped CompStat conference room behind him was a pen pusher's paradise, I knew. It was a place where innovative computer-model formats were used to illuminate detailed processes that were compared for effectiveness of indices of performance before implementations of flexible tactics to achieve the development of comprehensive solutions were discussed in a team-building environment. In plain English, it was a bureaucratic version of hell on earth. ~ James Patterson

Reading is not work, not a chore, not a drudgery; reading is the most joyful thing, yet, in the world. ~ James Patterson

There is something so precious about watching your child day after day after day. I want to hold on to every moment, every smile, every single hug and kiss. I suppose it has to do with loving to be needed and needing to give love. ~ James Patterson

stopped before high, ~ James Patterson

I saw the first episode of "The Walking Dead," and that's all I've seen. I thought it was good. I used to love zombies when I was little, but I don't like them the way I used to. I'm not knocking the show. ~ James Patterson

ached, until his head throbbed, all of that preparation comes down to today. It's finally here! He quickly brushes his teeth and puts on his Halloween costume. He picks up the trombone case and his school backpack and heads downstairs quietly, not wanting to wake his mother. He rips open the cellophane and drops two Pop-Tarts into the toaster and pours himself a glass of milk. He drinks the milk but doesn't touch the pastries. ~ James Patterson

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall. ~ James Patterson

Roadway. We didn't stop at the house, but instead rounded the corner and stopped a block away. Stepping out and ~ James Patterson

every passing moment looking at the corpse, I became aware ~ James Patterson

If it's commercial fiction that you want to write, it's story, story, story. You've got to get a story where if you tell it to somebody in a paragraph, they'll go, "Tell me more." And then when you start to write it, they continue to want to read more. And if you don't, it won't work. ~ James Patterson

This is not a democracy," I said, understanding he fear but unable to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy. ~ James Patterson

Honesty is always good, except when it's better to lie. ~ James Patterson

DIAGRAMMING MY DEATH SENTENCE ~ James Patterson

Uh-huh," I said. "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks. I mean, this is pathetic. ~ James Patterson

Please don't shut out love- it's the best thing about life ~ James Patterson

I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner," Fang said, joining us. ~ James Patterson

Even needing to get to Angel, we couldn't forget the basic necessity of eating. ~ James Patterson

Disproportionate. ~ James Patterson

Okay, so how, exactly, did I get into this mess - up onstage at a comedy club, baking like a bag of French fries under a hot spotlight that shows off my sweat stains( including one that sort of looks like Jabba the Hutt), with about a thousand beady eyeballs drilling into me? ~ James Patterson

to tell about that for sure yet. ~ James Patterson

There was another thing I hadn't counted on. And that was falling in love, as fast and irrevocably as you would fall off a cliff, and realizing that loving someone might mean to simultaneously want to slug them and hold them and possibly have to watch them die. ... I hadn't counted on that. ~ James Patterson

Basically, I have two speeds ... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice. ~ James Patterson

Oh, my God. It hit me like a tsunami then: how perfect he was for me, how he was everything I could possibly hope for, as a friend, boyfriend - maybe even more. He was it for me. There would be no more looking. I really, really loved him, with a whole new kind of love I'd never felt before, something that made every other kind of love I'd ever felt just seem washed out and wimpy in comparison. I loved him with every cell in my body, every thought in my head, every feather in my wings, every breath in my lungs. And air sacs. ~ James Patterson

Five minutes, I said, and walked away, but my heart was still going just as fast as before. This was only half over. Was it five minutes until I pulled this off? Or five minutes to live? ~ James Patterson

On the other hand, even a big, '80s love van was less noticeable than six flying kids and their talking dog.
So there you go. ~ James Patterson

Now I have a shot at being the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic. "The planet Earth?" asks Phineas of - you guessed it - Phineas and Ferb. "Or Mars? We built a portal to Mars for the science fair once. ~ James Patterson

Fang: "There is one bright side to this."
Max: "Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us?
Fang: *grins* You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.
Max: My shriek of appalled rage would probably be heard in California, or maybe Hawaii. ~ James Patterson

This was a perfect storm of crap, all flying through the same fan, right at him. ~ James Patterson

Oh, look, the lights are so pretty," I said dreamily, having just noticed
them.
I smiled at the way the lights were dancing overhead, pink and yellow and
blue. I felt some pressure on my arm and thought, I should look over and see
what's going on, but then the thought was gone, sliding away like Jell-O off a
hot car hood.
"Fang?"
"Yeah. I'm here."
I struggled to focus on him. "I'm so glad you're here."
"Yeah, I got that."
"I don't know what I'd do without you." I peered up at him, trying to see
past the too-bright lights.
"You'd be fine," he muttered.
"No," I said, suddenly struck by how unfine I would be. "I would be totally
unfine. Totally." It seemed very urgent that he understand this.
Again I felt some tugging on my arm, and I really wondered what that was
about. Was Ella's mom going to start this procedure any time soon?
"It's okay. Just relax." He sounded stiff and nervous. "Just...relax. Don't
try to talk."
"I don't want my chip anymore," I explained groggily, then frowned.
"Actually, I never wanted that chip."
"Okay," said Fang. "We're taking it out."
"I just want you to hold my hand."
"I am holding your hand."
"Oh. I knew that." I drifted off for a few minutes, barely aware of
anything, but feeling Fang's hand still in mine.
"Do you have a La-Z-Boy somewhere?" I roused myself to ask, every word an
effort.
"Um, no," said Ella's v ~ James Patterson

If you tell me, I will leave you alone," I said. "And if you don't tell me, I am going to grab the nearest ghostwritten James Patterson romance novel and I am going to follow you through this store reading it out loud until you relent. Would you prefer me to read from Daphne's Three Tender Months with Harold or Cindy and John's House of Everlasting Love? I guarantee, your sanity and your indie street cred won't last a chapter. And they are very, very short chapters."
Now I could see the fright beneath the defiance. ~ David Levithan

It was a crazy theory. But when Angels are involved, crazy is almost normal. ~ James Patterson

I write larger than life. It's what I do. ~ James Patterson

Hope attacking doubt. It seemed crazy. ~ James Patterson

Angel is right,"said Dr. G-H quickly. "This is my clumsy way of demonstrating."
"Demonstrating what?" I was barely able to keep a snarl out of my voice. "How to get yourself beat up in one easy step? ~ James Patterson

There was freedom in the pain. It meant he was still alive, still feeling, and he felt invincible. Whatever they did to him, however hard they fought, in the end, he would win. ~ James Patterson

Life is fun. Enjoy the ride! ~ James Patterson

What happened to your tan?"--Fang
"It was dirt." --Max ~ James Patterson

So LISTEN UP, class! Today we're going to learn all about chain reactions. ~ James Patterson

Fear is not the answer, not ever. ~ James Patterson

Stop trying to write sentences and start trying to write stories. ~ James Patterson

Pain is a message. Messages can be ignored. ~ James Patterson

The only thing that matters in this game is the score, something hackers never quite understand, even when they think they do. If you can't make a shot eighty percent of the time and there's a penalty if you don't, you shouldn't try it. Ever. No matter where you are. ~ James Patterson

I hate you!" I screamed at Fang. Tucking my wings in, I aimed downward,
diving toward the ground at more than two hundred miles an hour.
"No you dooonnn't!" Fang's voice spiraled away into nothingness, far above
me.
Inside my head, almost drowned out by the roar of wind rushing by my ears, I
heard the Voice make a tsking sound. You guys are crazy about each other, it
said. ~ James Patterson

We're just not cut out for all this media circus crap.
But then, you already knew that. ~ James Patterson

I DIDN'T KNOW THE POOR MAN laid out in his birthday suit on Claire's table, only that his death might have been related to the Del Norte tragedy. ~ James Patterson

Growled, And, yes, my heart will break ~ James Patterson

The FBI's top-ten most-wanted list. Number ~ James Patterson

Max-I'm not going to die today. ~ James Patterson

When I was growing up, my mom used to tell my sister and me about a leprechaun with a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. But she never mentioned a Russian Neanderthal with a bag of diamonds at the end of a bloody trail in a train station ~ James Patterson

Is this a movie?' I heard someone ask.
Naw- this is too original for Hollywood. They do sequels. ~ James Patterson