Hole In One Quotes

If you hit a hole in one every hole, you wouldn't play golf for very long. ~ Warren Buffett

A friend of mine, a dedicated golfer, shot a hole in one playing by himself. Disaster. ~ William Glasser

If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone. ~ Richard Armour

A sailor was stranded on a desert island and managed to survive by making friends with the local natives - such good friends, in fact, that one day the chief offered him his daughter for an evening's entertainment. Late that night, while they made love, the chief's daughter kept shouting, "Oga, boga! Oga, boga!" The arrogant sailor assumed this must be how the natives express their appreciation when something is fantastic. A few days later the chief invites the sailor for a game of golf. On his first stroke, the chief hit a hole in one. Eager to try out his new vocabulary, the sailor enthusiastically shouted "Oga boga! Oga boga!" The chief turned around with a puzzled look on his face and asked, "What you mean, 'wrong hole'? ~ Osho

It is true I'd rather get a hole in one than win an Academy Award. ~ Malcolm McDowell

All my life, I've been trying to make a hole-in-one. The closest I've come is a bogey. ~ Lou Holtz

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!" ~ Bob Monkhouse

Graduation is a big deal-bigger than getting a hole-in-one while golfing. People might think you're lying about the hole-in-one, but when you graduate, you get a diploma. ~ Anderson Cooper

Henry: How does it feel? How does it feel?

Sometimes it feels as though your attention has wandered for just an instant. Then, with a start, you realize that the book you were holding, the red plaid cotton shirt with white buttons, the favorite black jeans and the maroon socks with an almost-hole in one heel, the living room, the about-to-whistle tea kettle in the kitchen: all of these have vanished. You are standing, naked as a jaybird, up to your ankles in ice water in a ditch along an unidentified rural route. You wait a minute to see if maybe you will just snap right back to your book, your apartment, et cetera. After about five minutes of swearing and shivering and hoping to hell you can just disappear, you start walking in any direction, which will eventually yield a farmhouse, where you have the option of stealing or explaining. Stealing will sometimes land you in jail, but explaining is more tedious and time consuming and involves lying anyway, and also sometimes results in being hauled off to jail, so what the hell. ~ Audrey Niffenegger

Looks to me, Vince, like you hit a hole in one. ~ Triple H

Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference between having an open mind and having holes in one's head? ~ Richard Schultz

Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. ~ Sam Snead

I played golf for 25 years before I made a hole-in-one of any kind. I was on the tour for years before it finally happened. Eventually I made 23, but boy, that first one was a long time coming. It was the price I paid for not shooting at every flag. ~ Billy Casper

A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. ~ Mac O'Grady

Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone. ~ Henry Beard

Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore-
Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I played golf ... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying ... ~ Mitch Hedberg

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on the scorecard. ~ Bob Bruce

The point is, you should have stayed right where you were and let us handle this. Now we're going to have to tie up your uncle and put him in one of the cells or something until we sort out everything and can prove your innocence. ~ Lynsay Sands

Government or politics in America today is big business. Everybody makes money involving themselves in one way or the other, whether it's pollsters, whether they are policy wonks, whether they are pundits, whether they are those who believe that they must call it as they see it and then to be fair about it. ~ Douglas Wilder

This is the forked tongue of grief again. It whispers in one ear: return to what you once loved best, and in the other ear it whispers, move on. ~ Chris Cleave

When two people live in one place, their individual habits get amplified.
For example: I'm not lazy. But I don't like to move a whole lot. I mean, if I am doing something, I'll do it. I'm as active as the next guy. But if I'm sitting, I don't like to get up. Even if I'm facing the wrong way.
If I'm talking to someone whose chair isn't quite facing me, I'll talk to the side of their head. If I sit down and realize the TV is angled wrong, I won't get up to adjust. I'll watch it like that. I'll sit there and wait til someone walks by and ask them to move the TV. ~ Paul Reiser

They met a policeman and brought him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there was no answer. Except for a light in one of the top windows, the house was all dark. After ~ Oscar Wilde

To live in society today is like living in one enormous comic-strip. ~ Jean-Luc Godard

I needed to plug that hole in my head where the marbles were pouring out. ~ Ann Charles

The art of the alchemist, whether spiritual or physical, consists in completing the work of perfection, bringing forth and making dominant, as it were, the "latent goldness" which "lies obscure" in metal or man. The ideal adept of alchemy was therefore an "auxiliary of the Eternal Goodness." By his search for the "Noble Tincture" which should restore an imperfect world, he became a partner in the business of creation, assisting the Cosmic Plan. Thus the proper art of the Spiritual Alchemist, with whom alone we are here concerned, was the production of the spiritual and only valid tincture or Philosopher's Stone; the mystic seed of transcendental life which should invade, tinge, and wholly transmute the imperfect self into spiritual gold. That this was no fancy of seventeenth-century allegorists, but an idea familiar to many of the oldest writers upon alchemy - whose quest was truly a spiritual search into the deepest secrets of the soul - is proved by the words which bring to an end the first part of the antique "Golden Treatise upon the Making of the Stone," sometimes attributed to Hermes Trismegistus. "This, O Son," says that remarkable tract, "is the Concealed Stone of Many Colours, which is born and brought forth in one colour; know this and conceal it . . . it leads from darkness into light, from this desert wilderness to a secure habitation, and from poverty and straits to a free and ample fortune. ~ Evelyn Underhill

I thought it was a fleeting emotion, something that eventually fades like lust. Now I know that real love is when the soul meets its true mate. True and undeniable. It's as instinctual as the need to eat, sleep or breathe. Like a puzzle piece that only fits in one place, you are my home, the only place I belong. You are it for me. My true. ~ Gwendolyn Grace

Witness two scenes. In one, an angry, bitter man beats another man to death in an alley in the Gadrobi District. In the other, a man of vast wealth conspires with equally wealthy compatriots to raise yet again the price of grain, making the cost of simple bread so prohibitive that families starve, are led into lives of crime, and die young. Are both acts of violence? ~ Steven Erikson

And this tattooing, had been the work of a departed prophet and seer of his island, who, by those hieroglyphic marks, had written out on his body a complete theory of the heavens and the earth, and a mystical treatise on the art of attaining truth; so that Queequeg in his own proper person was a riddle to unfold; a wondrous work in one volume; but whose mysteries not even himself could read, though his own live heart beat against them; and these mysteries were therefore destined in the end to moulder away with the living parchment whereon they were inscribed, and so be unsolved to the last. ~ Herman Melville

The story takes up space as a knot in a piece of wood. If the knot is removed, a hole remains. We must ask ourselves, how will this hole that we have opened be filled? The hole, Maisie, is our responsibility. ~ Jacqueline Winspear

Quit playing Marco Polo with my ass, Christopher Columbus. This isn't an exploration, so you aren't putting your ding dong in this donut hole ~ B.B. Reid

He passed the lighter down the table until Descartes held it in one hand while setting the greasy cylinder down on the table. After smoothing it out, Descartes sparked up the lighter. With the lighter drawn near the grease, the aroma of burnt hair filled the board room. ~ Dylan Callens

It's scary putting so much faith in one organ. You can live without your brain functioning, but it is impossible to live without all the pieces of your heart ~ Savannah Randolph

A shrug. "I wanted to make sure you were taken care of, just in case."

She had perhaps a moment, before the valet came. A moment in which to try and relate a truth so deeply ingrained, it came to her lips like second nature. "Dar.. " A breath. "If anything ever happened to you, there wouldn't be enough money in the world to patch the hole it would leave in me. ~ Melissa Good

It is clear that not in one thing alone, but in many ways equality and freedom of speech are a good thing. ~ Herodotus

She grinned, shaking her head. "It's a good thing I'm not superstitious. We've been stranded in the rain twice in one day. That's gotta be a sign." Her smile faded. "Probably not a good one."

"Bullshit. Easy for a man to stick by you in fair weather. It's the man who stays when the storm is howlin' that's worth yer trust. ~ Lisa Kessler

City of God interprets all of the human story, from Creation to the Last Judgment, as the drama of divine providence and human free choice, especially the choice between the two most fundamental options of membership in one or the other of the "two cities." The City of God is the invisible community of all who love God; the City of the World is all those who love the world and themselves as their God. ~ Peter Kreeft

He hated not being heard, having to shout at the insides of himself, having to live in his dreams the way he lived in one of his rented rooms, being opposed, denied, neglected, refused. Kicked out. ~ William H Gass

When I needed to overcome the low expectations of others or the bias that would be expressed in one circumstance or another, I'd keep on keeping on. And I climb over the obstacle, go around it, dig under it, fly over it. That's what kept me going. Otherwise I would have never been an astrophysicist. ~ Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Once you've lived a little you will find that whatever you send out into the world comes back to you in one way or another. It may be today, tomorrow, or years from now, but it happens; usually when you least expect it, usually in a form that's pretty different from the original. Those coincidental moments that change your life seem random at the time but I don't think they are. At least that's how it's worked out in my life. And I know I'm not the only one. ~ Slash

I watched him fall in love with you in that very instant."
"Shut up." I laughed. "You can't fall in love in one glance."
"Wanna bet? ~ Amanda Carlson

Now the end is going to come - in one fashion or another", Bines said, softly, and again he turned to Ralphie and smiled. "We all know, the end will come. You either face your hunters or run from them. ~ David Adams Richards

Did Muddy Waters play an acoustic? Well of course he did. But did he turn his back on being able to plug it in and play louder? No, he plugged in and turned it up and got miles and miles ahead of the game in one fateful act of just plugging in. ~ Billy Gibbons

A secret that has been buried too long, eating a hole in me, worms its way to the surface, like a swimmer who can't hold his breath any longer. ~ Michael R. French

I think you keep two sets of books. In one set, you record the truth
how well you are really doing. This is the secret set
just for you and loved ones. In the other set are more modest entries and statements, and these are for public consumption! ~ Helen Gurley Brown

He was a priest now, pagan, half-naked in the night, performing obscure rites of interment. Or he was the lead player in his own novel, or in one of those new arcade games William loved, compelled to repeat some totemic motion until he got it right. Only once did he feel, as he had on New Year's Eve, that someone was standing among the trees, watching. Well, let him watch, damn it. Something was being enacted here, as if it had been this deeper mission calling Mercer home all along. And now that he'd completed it, maybe he would be allowed to advance through to the next level, to a world where no one got shot. ~ Garth Risk Hallberg

Child, now I will teach you how to wave at a crowd."
"Teacher, do I really need to learn something like waving ?"
"Child, using your normal speed of waving, if you wave continuously for one minute, how many times will you wave in total ?"
One minute later...
"Teacher, I waved eighty-eight times."
"Then, the last time I went on a parade with the king, how much time did it take ?"
"About three hours."
"Now, child, let's do some math ! If you waved eighty-eight times in one minute, after waving for three hours, how many times will you wave in total ?"
"Fifteen thousand eight hundred and forty times."
"Child, now let me ask you a health education question : if you wave continuously for fifteen thousand eight hundred and forty times, what will your hand look like ?"
"...I don't know."
"That is why, child, you are now learning how to use one thousand waves to handle one parade. Or do you want to wave a full fifteen thousand eight hundred and forty times during all of your parades in the future ?"
"Teacher ! Please, you must teach me how to wave ! ~ Yu Wo

Institutionalized rejection of difference is an absolute necessity in a profit economy which needs outsiders as surplus people. As members of such an economy, we have all been programmed to respond to the human difference between us with fear and loathing and to handle that difference in one of three ways: ignore it, and if that is not possible, copy it if we think it is dominant, or destroy it if we think it is subordinate. But we have no patterns for relating across our human differences as equals. As a result, those differences have been misnamed and misused in the service of separation and confusion. ~ Audre Lorde

Nervous sweat gathered on my palms, and for once I was glad I couldn't talk. I swallowed, my throat clenching around the scream scalding me from the inside. The gray haze was darker now, though no thicker. I could see through it easily, yet it tainted everything my terrified gaze landed on , as if the entire gym had been draped in a translucent cloud of smog. And things still moved on the edge of my vision, drawing my eye first in one direction, then another .

I would have given anything to be able to speak in that moment, not just to warn Emma -
because that was evidently a moot point -
but to ask Nash what the hell was going on. Could he see what I saw? More important, could they see us? ~ Rachel Vincent

There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
Ephesians 4:4-6 (King James Version) ~ Anonymous

I start to say no, then stop myself. I have to try. I have to try, because I'm doing it again-I'm shutting everything out because I'm frustrated and tired and because the real world is difficult and I'd rather live in one of my own making. But I can't. I am here, and I have to try. ~ Francesca Zappia

With all cameras on me, Chip released the blindfold and said, "Ta-da!"
I wasn't sure what I was looking at. A shipwreck, maybe? On the back of a semi?
"What is that?" I said.
"I got this for you, Jo!" Chip replied.
"That better not be for me," I said. It was the ugliest, rundown-looking, two-story shack of a boat I'd ever seen. "What the heck are we going to do with a houseboat?"
"That's our new home!" Chip said, beaming with pride at his purchase.
"What? You are crazy. We are not living on a houseboat."
It quickly dawned on me that this wasn't a joke and Chip wasn't even close to kidding. I wasn't mishearing him. He was dead serious about making that boat our home for the next six months.
I just about lost it. "How can we live on the water, Chip? Three of our kids don't even know how to swim! Did you think this through?!"
Then he fessed up and told me how much money he'd spent on it. As it all sank in, I realized I'd never been so mad at him--ever--and that's saying something.
"Come on. At least come look at it. I know this can work," he pleaded.
As soon as we walked a little closer, we could see the holes. Holes. In the boat.
We pulled ourselves up onto the flatbed and went inside to find the interior covered in mold. Someone had taken the AC unit out on top and left a gaping hole in the roof, so for years it had rained straight into the boat. We tried turning the engine over, and of course it didn't start. That's ~ Joanna Gaines