Gallager Girls Humor Quotes

Did you hear that? I'm special. ~ Ally Carter

Face it girls. I'm older and I have more insurance. ~ Fannie Flagg

The near dark streets where Friday night's business began to accomplish itself, strolling couples, arm in arm, girls bright as just pricked flowers, halfdrunk belligerent men herded homeward by fierce women with bitter persecuted faces ... ~ William Gay

We watched Vamps hunting Vamps, Vamp hunters and Witches torching Vamps, teenage girls kissing Vamps. And we giggled and swooned through it all. ~ Shelly Crane

So what were your favorite subjects in school?"
"School?" He leaned back in his chair as though he needed the extra space to think about it. "Probably math. It always made sense. Unlike English, economics, and girls."
"And exactly how do you plan on taking over the free world if you don't understand economics?"
"I'll hire advisers. I'll hire you, in fact."
"Okay. Let me know when your army of junior high zombies is ready. ~ Janette Rallison

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties. ~ Tracy Brogan

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh. ~ Amy Poehler

Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right. ~ Oscar Wilde

I walked over to the paper and bent as the pencil began scribbling across it.
You look OK. Are you OK?
"Liz?" A stupid question. Liz was the only poltergeist I knew. But if she was here, that meant. "Chloe?" My heart started thudding again. "Where's Chloe. Did they - ?"
She's outside.
I took a deep breath. "Good. Okay. My dad's there, too?"
I watched the paper. Nothing happened.
"Liz? My dad is with her, right? She called him, didn't she?"
Couldn't.
"What do you mean she couldn't. She has her cell - " No, she didn't. We hadn't taken them into the forest. If Chloe had managed to follow me straight from there ...
I swore. "Tell her to get to a pay phone. Call collect. Get my dad and - "
No time. They're packing the van.
"Then you ride with me. You can find out where we go, and return and Chloe - "
We're getting you out.
"What? No. Absolutely not. Tell Chloe - "
Girls rule :D ~ Kelley Armstrong

Franklin Fletcher dreamed of luxury in the form of tiger-skins and beautiful women. He was prepared, at a pinch, to forgo the tiger-skins. Unfortunately the beautiful women seemed equally rare and inaccessible. At his office and at his boarding-house the girls were mere mice, or cattish, or kittenish, or had insufficiently read the advertisements. ~ John Collier

When we were still living at home, all he ever drank was cola, huge amounts of it; he had no problem knocking back an entire king-size bottle at dinnertime. Then he would produce these gigantic belches, for which he was sometimes sent to his room, belches that lasted ten years or longer
like subterranean thunder rolling up and exploding from somewhere deep down in his stomach
and for which he enjoyed a certain schoolyard fame: among the boys, that is, for he knew even then that girls were only repulsed by burps and farts. ~ Herman Koch

It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.) ~ John Duover

What I know is that fathers who slammed their teenage boys for sass would then release them to streets where their boys employed, and were subject to, the same justice. And I knew mothers who belted their girls, but the belt could not save these girls from drug dealers twice their age. We, the children, employed our darkest humor to cope. ~ Ta-Nehisi Coates

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. ~ Dorothy Parker

So, you see, you will have to learn to listen to more of the radio music of life. It'll do you good. You are uncommonly poor in gifts, a poor blockhead, but by degrees you will come to grasp what is required of you. You have got to learn to laugh. That will be required of you. You must apprehend the humor of life, its gallows-humor. But of course you are ready for everything in the world except what will be required of you. You are ready to stab girls to death. You are ready to be executed with all solemnity. You would be ready, no doubt, to mortify and scourge yourself for centuries together. Wouldn't you? It is time to come to your senses...You are to live and to learn to laugh. You are to learn to listen to the cursed radio music of life and to reverence the spirit behind it and to laugh at its distortions. So there you are. More will not be asked of you ~ Hermann Hesse

My lesbian translator must be on the fritz. Is that code for your period? Instead of calling it an Alexandria Tampon how about a bloody Mary?" He snaps his fingers and continues, "This bloody Mary is giving me the cramps or Damn you, bloody Mary for ruining my sex life."
Robert Marshall, Flapper Girls ~ Candace Cloud

Madison sparkled like the words on her oversized chest. There was glitter embedded in her eye shadow, in her lip gloss, in her nail polish, hanging from her ears in shoulder grazing hoops, dangling from her wrists in blingy bracelets. If the lights went out in the hallway, she could light it up like a human disco ball. ~ Danielle Paige

Because - oh shut up laughing, you two - because they've just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball! ~ J.K. Rowling

>>How old were you when you had your first kiss?
>>Twenty. It's pathetic. Guys don't want to kiss fat girls.
>>Not true. There are all those guys on jerry springer, and there's president Clinton ...
>>Make that: no one I ever wanted to kiss wanted to kiss a fat girl.
>>I'll bet you never gave anyone a chance. Mitch says you practically beat him away with a stick.
>>I was trying to spare him. ~ Rainbow Rowell

A girl's got to use what she's given and I'm not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don't say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It's meant to make guys think: 'I don't know if this is sexy or just weird. ~ Lady Gaga

Girls don't want boys, girls want high-speed internet and dragons. ~ Speranza

Of course ." A wicked gleam entered his eyes. "But I only turn girls into salamanders on Tuesdays. Luckily for you, it´s a Wednesday, which is the day I drink a goblet of orphan´s blood for supper. ~ Margaret Rogerson

Amy Bellini and Sasha Tibbles traipsed down the aisle and wriggled into the back seat, Amy right next to me. Her damp brown hair flicked in my face as she turned to make herself more comfortable. I didn't mind. I wouldn't admit this to ANYONE, but I think she's not quite as weird as the rest of the girls. ~ Ferguson Fartworthy

What's your name?"
"Emma Gould," she said. "What's yours?"
"Wanted."
"By all the girls or just the law? ~ Dennis Lehane

What up Brit-Boy?"

"I was just wondering," he said,"about the significance of your canine collar."

Why was the collar such a big deal? Back home, half the girls wore them. "It was a gift from someone with twice the cojones you have."

He raised his eyebrows. "You only have the data to validate half of that statement," he said, letting his legs fall apart and glancing downward. "But that could be corrected. ~ Lee McClain

Boys don't like
smart girls
they like
push-around-in-a-cart
kinda girls
target-for-their-dart
kinda girls
meat-for-their-shark
kinda girls ~ Casey Renee Kiser

Dude, I told you she was a man-eater."
"That's the thing, she isn't. She is actually an amazing woman. Tough as nails, and man she keeps me on my toes, but she has a heart of gold that she hides from everyone. I really do believe that she was made for me, and I don't care how girly that sounds."
Erick scoffed. "No worries, when a dude is really in love, he turns into a freaking girl. It's scary. So stay away from girls, they are icky and will make you do stupid things. Okay, buddy? ~ Toni Aleo

Are red haired girls, red all over? ~ Anurag Mathur

I could only approach girls half my age, so I never brought any girl home. Mom thought I was disciplined, but the truth is that I was deprived. ~ Nick Nwaogu

Lions and tigers and pissed-off girls, oh my. ~ Katie Bayerl

See there?" Jem was scowling triumphantly. "Nothin' to it. I swear, Scout, sometimes you act so much like a girl its mortifyin ~ Harper Lee

Earnshaw is quite a famous name, thanks to Miss Brontë . I did not realise there were Earnshaws in this country."

Mrs. Earnshaw gave a sharp nod. "Aye. And Heathcliffs and Eyres, as well. Proper little thieves, those Brontë girls. ~ Deanna Raybourn

Girls," their mother interjected, "you must both stop being strange - it is unattractive. And don't forget your hats. It would be absolutely the end for me if you two came down with freckles at a time like this. ~ Anna Godbersen

Boys are found everywhere- on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerated them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. A boy is a magical creature- you can lock out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but you can't get him out of your mind. Might as well give up- he is your captor, your jailor, your boss and your master- a freckled-faced, pint-sized, cat-chasing bundle of noise. But when you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams, he can mend them like new with two magic words- 'Hi, Dad! ~ Alan Beck

Leo's expression made him look as serious and dangerous as it was possible for a small elfin demigod to look in a little girl's overalls (a clean pair, mind you, which he'd intentionally found and put on). "I'm a son of Hephaestus, chica. I can problem-solve. This guy Lityerses tried to kill me and my friends once before. Now he's threatened Calypso? Yeah, I'll get us inside that palace. Then I'm going to find Lit and..."
"Light him up?" I suggested, surprised by pleased to find I could speak again so soon after being told to shut up. "So he's literally lit?"
Leo frowned. "I wasn't going to say that. Seemed to corny."
"When I say it," I assured him, "it's poetry. ~ Rick Riordan