Laugh Out Loud Quotes

I open the box, and there are notes. Notes and notes and notes. Peter's notes. Peter's notes I threw away.
"I found them when I was emptying your trash," she says. Hastily she adds, "I only read a couple. And then I saved them because I could tell they were important."
I touch one that Peter folded into an airplane. "Kitty…you know Peter and I aren't getting back together, right?"
Kitty grabs the bowl of popcorn and says, "Just read them." Then she goes into the living room and turns on the TV.
I close the hatbox and take it with me upstairs. When I am in my room, I sit on the floor and spread them out around me.
A lot of the notes just say things like "Meet you at your locker after school" and Can I borrow your chemistry notes from yesterday?" I find the spiderweb one from Halloween, and it makes me smile. Another one says, "Can you take the bus home today? I want to surprise Kitty and pick her up from school so she can show me and my car off to her friends." "Thanks for coming to the estate sale with me this weekend. You made the day fun. I owe you one." "Don't forget to pack a Korean yogurt for me!" "If you make Josh's dumb white-chocolate cranberry cookies and not my fruitcake ones, it's over." I laugh out loud. And then, the one I read over and over: "You look pretty today. I like you in blue."
I've never gotten a love letter before. But reading these notes like this, one after the other, it feels like I have. It's like…it's like there's onl ~ Jenny Han

Childermass knew what games the children on street-corners are playing - games that all other grown-ups have long since forgotten. Childermass knew what old people by firesides are thinking of, though no one has asked them in years. Childermass knew what young men hear in the rattling of the drums and the tooting of the pipes that makes them leave their homes and go to be soldiers - and he knew the half-eggcupful of glory and the barrelful of misery that await them. And all that Childermass knew made him smile; and some of what he knew made him laugh out loud; and none of what he knew wrung from him so much as ha'pennyworth of pity. ~ Susanna Clarke

Laugh. Laugh out loud, and laugh often. And when circumstances call for silence, turn your laugh into a smile. Don ~ Julia Quinn

There are things I've given up on
Like recording funny answering machine messages.
It's part of growing older
And the human race as a group has matured along the same lines.
It seems our comedy dates the quickest.
If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokes
I hope you won't be insulted
if I say you're trying too hard.
Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Live
seem slow-witted and obvious now. ~ David Berman

He pulled up a chair and sat down by the bed, smiling at me. It was a nice smile. "So you're a werewolf." He nodded. "How did it happen?" He stared down at the floor, then up. His face looked so solemn, I was sorry I'd asked. I was expecting some great tale of a savage attack survived. "I got a bad batch of lycanthropy serum." "You what?" "You heard me." He seemed embarrassed. "You got a bad shot?" "Yes." My smile got wider and wider. "It's not funny," he said. I shook my head. "Not at all." I knew my eyes were shiny, and it was all I could do not to laugh out loud. "You've got to admit it's nicely ironic." He sighed. "You're going to hurt yourself. Go ahead and laugh." I did. I laughed until it hurt, and Richard joined in. Laughter is contagious, too. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM! ~ Rick Riordan

The situation suddenly felt absurd, and he had to control the urge to laugh out loud, the sheer folly of the midnight escapade catching up with him. He had imagined his career as an impostor ending in so many ways. Being caught sneezing halfway up a trellis whilst trying to burgle a fourth-rate hotel had not been one of them. ~ Paul Fraser Collard

Are you ready to possess your master piece; ready to live a life that is worthy of who you were made to be? You will likely shed a few tears - tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of revelation - you might scream out loud and laugh out loud. You might even stomp your feet, shake your fist or pound the air. That's okay, because later on you might just run out and hug a stranger, love an enemy and sing like never before as well. ~ J. Loren Norris

Forgive my brother," Camira apologized. "We don't normally let him out of his cage when guests are present. ~ Brandon Mull

When I signed up for this honeymoon, I had no idea it would involve so much nudity... ~ Christina Lauren

MFA in a Box is designed to help you to find the courage to put truth into words and to understand that writing is a life-and-death endeavor - but that nothing about a life-and-death endeavor keeps it from being laugh-out-loud funny. ~ John Rember

Writing is not about how well you can write the next "Great American Novel," using flawless grammar and snooty punctuation; sometimes, it's only about making someone smile, or laugh out loud. Sometimes, its sharing a fun thought, or putting a vivid life experience on paper so others' can share a great moment that had an impact on you, the author. ~ T. Hammond

Laugh till you're exhausted. ~ Naguib Mahfouz

Write it. Just write it. Write it on receipts in the car while you wait for your kid to finish their piano lessons, scribble on napkins at lunch with friends. Type on crappy typewriters or borrow computers if you have to. Fill notebooks with ink. Write inside your head while you're in traffic and when you're sitting in the doctor's office. Write the truth, write lies. Write the perfect spouse. Write your dreams. Write your nightmares. Write while you cry about what you're writing, write while you laugh out loud at your own words. Write until your fingers hurt, then keep writing more. Don't ever stop writing. Don't ever give up on your story, no matter what "they" say. Don't ever let anybody take away your voice. You have something to say, your soul has a story to tell. Write it. There is never any reason to be afraid. Just write it and then put it out there for the world. Shove it up a flag pole and see who salutes it. Somebody will say it's crap. So what? Somebody else will love it. And that's what writing's about. Love. Love of the art, love of the story, and love for and from the people who really understand your work. Nobody else matters. Love yourself. Love your work. Be brave. Just write. ~ Melodie Ramone

I'm taking a shower."
Oh, God. She was killing him. Making him want to laugh out loud. Where had his sense of self-preservation gone? He didn't feel emotion - that was far too dangerous. He shivered beneath the blankets, suddenly afraid for her. For himself.
"You're still cold. I should have thought to rub you down with some warm oil. Lexi makes it and I use it sometimes when I come in from a dive. It warms you up fast. Can you roll over, because I'm not rubbing your front."
"Why not?"
"If you want a massage, turn over. ~ Christine Feehan

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties. ~ Tracy Brogan

Dogs possess a quality that's rare among humans
the ability to make you feel valued just by being you
and it was something of a miracle to me to be on the receiving end of all that acceptance. The dog didn't care what I looked like, or what I did for a living, or what a train wreck of a life I'd led before I got her, or what we did from day to day. She just wanted to be with me, and that awareness gave me a singular sensation of delight. I kept her in a crate at night until she was housebroken, and in the mornings I'd let her up onto the bed with me. She'd writhe with joy at that. She'd wag her tail and squirm all over me, lick my neck and face and eyes and ears, get her paws all tangled in my braid, and I'd just lie there, and I'd feel those oceans of loss from my past ebbing back, ebbing away, and I'd hear myself laugh out loud. ~ Caroline Knapp

Laughing is so therapeutic but what is even more therapeutic is having someone laugh out loud with you. ~ Karen A. Baquiran

In the hall, Tina whisper hisses, "Retreat! Retreat!" The sounds of heels clip clopping follows before...
stumble crash bang
Mimi laughs her ass off and says, "We have a man down! I repeat. We are a man down!"
Lola laughs hard and yells out, "We're so bad at this! Best mission ever!
The sound of giggles and heels approach my room. I put an arm under my head to elevate it. I want to see what these goofballs are doing. Tina's first through the door and looks sheepish while rubbing her elbow. That is until she see Nat, Helena and Nina all sitting on my bed. Then she yells out, "Pajama party!" And literally throws herself on to my bed, hurt elbow forgotten. She belly flops onto my stomach, My body jolts upwards, the wind is knocked out of me and I groan. Tina looks up at me with wide eyes. She rushed out, "Ash, honey! I'm so sorry!" Then she rubs what she thinks is my stomach. Only its my cock.
Removing her hands from me, I tell her,
"Tina, I don't think Nik would like you in my bed rubbing my junk. ~ Belle Aurora

I will never go anywhere with vampires again, I promised myself. I let the lure of the money and the excitement of the travel pull me in. But I won't do that again. As God is my witness . . . Then I had to laugh out loud. Scarlett O'Hara, I wasn't. "I'll never be hungry again, ~ Charlaine Harris

I would be sad if it ended now. It's been the best job I've had by a long shot, especially creatively because the writing is so good. Every week I get the script and I laugh out loud and get excited for the different stuff we get to do. ~ Sarah Chalke

There is no happiness like the pounding of so many horses into one. I imagine I hear the horses laugh. I think it every time. I think that running is the way a horse may laugh out loud. When I am older I will believe that following in their wake has filled me with the inconsolable joy of animals. ~ Mark Spragg

As I head up the stairs, I hear Daddy whisper to her, "Why in the world are you encouraging her to go enjoy her hot boyfriend?"
I almost laugh out loud.
"That's not what I meant!" Trina says.
He makes a harrumph sound. "It sure sounded like it."
"Oh my God, don't take everything so literally, Dan. Besides, her boyfriend is hot. ~ Jenny Han

My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud! ~ C. JoyBell C.

And what's with the finger? For God's sake, Jasper, that's just…"
Awesome?"
"No! It's weird!"
"So weird that you fucking explode every time I do it? … I can't believe you've never done that before, darling."
"Why can't you believe it? I'm a good girl. I don't do anal."
That makes me laugh out loud and earns me another scowl. "You do now."
"No, I don't." She tries to get away from me, but I only tighten my arms around her.
"Why do you deny you love it when it's obvious that you do?"
"It's dirty."
"Mmm, that's what makes it so bloody hot. Wait until you feel my cock there, darling. You'll go off like a rocket ship."
"You're not putting your cock there. We're working on getting pregnant, not exploring new frontiers."
"Why can't we do both? ~ M.S. Force

Superman's scourge is kryptonite. Fear's kryptonite is laughter. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

The elixir of life is a bubbling stream of laughter. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Any nonsense come out they mouth. Some got the gift to make you laugh out loud, and others preach strong and spread the word of God. ~ Lalita Tademy

I stare in horror at the tweezers. "I don't know how you women manage to put up with having your legs done. or even, you know, your other bits". Joanna smiles. "You should ask your friend Dan,"she says. 'He'll tell you how it feels'. For a moment I just stare back at her,thinking she's joking, before I cotton on. You're kidding? Dan? I point to my crotch. 'Down there?' Joanna nods. Its very popular nowadays. 'I think the guys believe it makes them look, you know, bigger.' And for the rest of the afternoon, I can't get the phrase 'last turkey in the shop' out of my mind. ~ Matt Dunn

He swung it open and presented me with a single red rose.
"For you," he said.
"Very gallant," I replied. "Of course you do realize I have the same cut flower in my room."
Ben glanced over his shoulder at the now empty bud vase sitting on his table. "Hmm. Didn't really think that out. Still gallant?"
"Very."
"You happen to look ravishing tonight." He said it with a British accent that made me laugh out loud.
"As do you, sir," I responded in kind.
"Excellent. Shall we go, then?" He extended his arm and I linked my own through it, first shifting my camera bag to my other shoulder so it wouldn't bang between us. ~ Hilary Duff

Clothes used to perplex me. I could never understand how to piece together an outfit the way Warner did. I thought it was a science I'd never crack; a skill beyond my grasp. But I'm realizing now that my problem was that I never knew who I was; I didn't understand how to dress the imposter living in my skin. What did I like? How did I want to be perceived? For years my goal was to minimize myself-- to fold and refold myself into a polygon of nothingness, to be too insignificant to be remembered. I wanted to appear innocent; I wanted to be thought of as quiet and harmless; I was worried always about how my very existence was terrifying to others and I did everything in my power to diminish myself, my light, my soul. I wanted so desperately to placate the ignorant. I wanted so badly to appease the assholes who judged me without knowing me that I lost myself in the process. But now? Now, I laugh. Out loud. Now, I don't give a shit. ~ Tahereh Mafi

In the meantime, the Bear had attained the Avenue, where blinding, brilliant traffic travelled like a line of light from north to south, as if between worlds. But it was Jacob who saw the ladder, wrestled with the angel, and obtained a birthright under false pretenses. The Bear had done none of these things. He pulled the hat brim farther down on his face and walked south beneath the vault of darkness, above him like guardians or heralds the electric signs of bars and stores- white, orange, yellow, gold, red, brilliant blue and green, occasional imperial purple - as if they were angels that had descended to earth only to hire themselves out as lures for business, possibly for reasons of pity. The Bear walked beneath them like a resolute and powerful man, the saxophone case at his side swinging like a cache of fate, love, gold or vengeance. When he realised that he could have his pick of them - that all options, attributions and possibilities actually were open to him, that he was, at the moment, exalted, liberated, free - he stopped walking for a moment, put down the saxophone case, looked gradually around him at the Avenue, raised his snout and smiled broadly, and there on the pavement stretched out his great and inevitable arms. Aah. The night entered him like honey, and he began so heartily and with such depth of pleasure that it might have been for the first time in his life, to laugh out loud. ~ Rafi Zabor

There is nudity, of course striptease is an essential component of burlesque but it's much more complex and intelligent than a display of nudity for nudity itself. And its often laugh-out-loud funny. ~ Karen Abbott

What the hell are those?" Zach pushed at my foot with his finger.

"My boots."

"It looks like your foot's being attacked by a Muppet. ~ Theresa Paolo

Reading Alan Zweibel makes me laugh out loud. And yet it is not a particularly funny name. ~ Eric Idle

Laugh out-loud funny" by a "Master Storyteller". ~ Leslie Davis Guccione

If I'd said that to my sensible, smutty, twelve-year-old self, he would have laughed until he hemorrhaged ~ Greg Egan

Zeus Is Dead is full of laugh-out-loud moments, lashings of sly wit, moan-worthy puns, and a complex, fast-paced storyline. There aren't very many humorous fantasy murder mysteries out there, especially not as intricately constructed as this one. Michael G. Munz takes a 'What if,' and runs with it like a toddler with Mom's smart phone. The guffaw-worthy throwaway bits will remind you of Douglas Adams. A very enjoyable read. ~ Jody Lynn Nye

Cherry Money Baby is fabulous in every sense of the word! It's earthy and smart and moving, laugh-out-loud funny, surprising, inventive, suspenseful, and - Oh, Hell - just gorgeously written! ~ Tim Wynne-Jones

Love is an indescribable, cumbersome, silly-selfish, consuming, life-changing, goosebump-making, knowing-all-the-words-to-the-song exciting, I-can't-think-straight-without-him overwhelming, sigh-swooning, laugh-out-loud-for-no-reason anxious, fun, rule-causing, jealousy-inducing, leg-kicking, dream-giving, wonderful, filling, shake-trembling, wonder-where-you-are-always obsessive, necessary, requiring, joyful-flow. ~ YellowBella

I know why there are pink feathers down there! There's a fucking flamingo standing in the bath! ~ Mandy Baggot

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift. ~ Shauna Niequist

Life is such a strange thing, she thinks, once she has stopped laughing. Even after certain things have happened to them, no matter how awful the experience, people still go on eating and drinking, going to the toilet and washing themselves - living, in other words. And sometimes they even laugh out loud. And they probably have these same thoughts, too, and when they do it must make them cheerlessly recall all the sadness they'd briefly managed to forget. ~ Han Kang

Woman," Westley roared, "you are the property of the Dread Pirate Roberts and you ... do ... what ... you're ... told! ~ William Goldman

The ocean crashes to the shore, And comes to us with a mighty roar.
And stones can threaten our path, To trip our progress with their wrath.
But you can pass this test of life, And turn to fun the daunting strife.
So pick a stone and toss it free, To skip across the raging sea.
And laugh out loud as it leaves your hand, I'll show you how...my little man. ~ Jer Jorgenson

I won't share you, Dylan. I mean that. If you think for one second now that we're married, you can try and pull some kind of shit over on me, you'd better think again. I can take whatever you can dish out when it comes to pain, embarrassment and humiliation, and whatever else you have going on in that wicked mind of yours, but I'll be damned if I'll share you with another woman. Or man."
What the fuck? I almost laugh at her, but she's so serious she would probably slap the shit out of me. "Calm the hell down. I'm not trying to pull anything over on you, okay? And seriously, a man?"
"Well, I don't know. Maybe one of your secrets is that you like getting pegged in the ass or something."
This time I laugh out loud at her and she narrows her eyes at me.
"Don't ask me to peg you either, because it's never going to happen."
I laugh even louder. Good God this woman is funny. "I promise you that I don't want to be pegged, Isa. ~ Ella Dominguez

That girl didn't have a moment's peace from the day Adriano Dardano set foot in Galway and started chasing her." Sister Brannigan said, as she led them around the convent garden. "Nice of Francesca to stay still for him to catch her then wasn't it?" Alessandro remarked dryly. "Mmph," the nun responded. "My grandfather loved Francesca," Alessandro insisted. "Far be it from me to speak ill of the dead. But let's call a spade a spade, hmm? Your grandfather was a charmer. Now perhaps he didn't realize just how naïve our Francesca was and how besotted with him she was." "Mmm, very generous of you," Alessandro grumbled. "I will say that on the times he brought some food he had made with Francesca up to the convent, it was clear he had a wonderful talent in the kitchen. Now mind ye, the Italian food was a bit rich for my taste but still, rather good." "I'm sure my grandfather's resting easier in his grave now that the holy sister has complimented his cooking," Alessandro whispered in Bree's ear making, her laugh out loud and Sister Brannigan turn to her in question. ~ E. Jamie

Once I got away from him, I was smart enough to stay away from him. To hunt that one is as wise as to go hunting a porcupine.

I cannot leave this alone, Nighteyes.

I understand. I am the same about porcupines. ~ Robin Hobb

The confessions can touch on every human emotion. They can be laugh-out-loud funny, for sure, they can be heart-breaking, they can be sexual or hidden acts of kindness, they can be romantic ... ~ Frank Warren

Laughter isn't a sign of insanity but a shield against it. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

If only there was mouthwash for the brain. Brain wash. They could make a fortune on that stuff. ~ Theresa Paolo

When the worst student hears about the Way, he laughs out loud. If he did not laugh, it would be unworthy of being the Way. ~ Laozi

I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs. ~ Joan Rivers

People will be jealous of you for anything. Do bad and they will be jealous of you for being bad, do good and they will be jealous of you for being good, pull yourself up out of the ashes and they will be jealous of your strength, work hard and succeed and they will be jealous of your perseverance, buy new shoes and people will want to steal them, grow your hair long and people with want to cut it, laugh out loud and people will be jealous of your reasons for laughing. The truth is that envy is not because of you; but envy is in the eye of the beholder! ~ C. JoyBell C.

I suppose I look for humor in most situations because it humanizes things; it makes a character much more three-dimensional if there's some kind of humor. Not necessarily laugh-out-loud type of stuff, just a sense that there is a humorous edge to things. I do like that. ~ Colm Meaney

I love being with you,
to live,love and laugh out loud.
LOL ~ Aina Aller

Little Miss Sassy Panties is back and I laugh out loud at her. I know she doesn't like it but damn she's fucking comical when she's feisty, but I guarantee, her ass will be paddled and for that sarcasm when the time comes. ~ Ella Dominguez

My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those 'laugh-out-loud' kinds. I am quirky, yet witty. ~ Bipasha Basu

Raegan and I were on the opposite side of town, strutting across the gravel lot of the Red Door, slowly and in unison, as if we were being filmed while walking to a badass soundtrack. ~ Jamie McGuire

Live long, Love hard, Learn to embrace life, Laugh out loud, and Leap into heaven dancing ~ Daisy Hinton Davis

Your mother can't hear you here."
"Distance is no match for my mother's eavesdropping and mind-reading skills."

"I had steel anti-mind-reading plates installed this week. Specially designed to be Marilyn-proof. Also sounds an alarm if she gets within two hundred yards of the building, and I sent the guards downstairs to ninja training. You're safe. ~ Jamie Farrell

I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it. ~ Joan Rivers

She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. ~ Tammara Webber

Mr. Frazier makes me laugh out loud. ~ Christopher Lehmann-Haupt

It is completely usual for me to get up in the morning, take a look around, and laugh out loud. ~ Barbara Kingsolver

On any given day, my daughters would snuggle in bed with my wife and me. We just hug and kiss each other. We laugh out loud and act completely silly. I stop and think to myself, "This is love." ~ Jacob Vargas

There is an Anglo-Saxon form of riddling that plays with the polarities of words like bright and dark, cold and warm, throwing them against one another and crafting lines of rich, humorous nonsense like this poem that has been around for so many hundreds of years that you just have to sit back and, with nothing else in mind, laugh out loud. ~ Gerald Hausman

The type of love that makes you want to laugh out loud - scream a bit - run in circles - and then repeat? Yeah that's how I felt about Wes. Totally. Out. Of. Control. Giddiness ~ Rachel Van Dyken

We may writhe in agony from pain
Or laugh out loud when we find happiness
As long as we're alive tomorrow will come
we become stronger and keep on living
We were born to live ~ Miho Obana

I look at prom dresses on my computer, and I laugh out loud every time I think about Daddy calling Peter my "hot boyfriend. ~ Jenny Han

The superior student listens to the Way and follows it closely. The average student listens to the Way and follows some and some not. The lesser student listens to the Way and laughs out loud. If there were no laughter it would not be the Way. ~ Laozi

Unexpectedly, she took several trotting steps and then threw in a couple of feeble attempts at bucking! She felt good enough to try and play! ... Instead of slowing down, she broke into a very awkward canter, punctuated by all sorts of goofy attempts to throw her heels up. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at her faltering display of joyful rejuvenation. ~ Kim Meeder

Note found in the patron suggestion box:
"You have SIGNS up near the computers that say BE QUIET, but people don't be quiet. They laugh out loud and talk out loud. Libraries used to be quiet, but they aren't anymore because you let all the assholes in!!!!! ~ Gina Sheridan

You don't have to laugh out loud to mock someone. ~ Rainbow Rowell

Everything about her is disastrous. She's nothing more than a mess."
"And yet?" he urged me on.
And yet, I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to be an odd character, a freak of nature. I wanted to stumble and laugh out loud. I wanted to find her beautiful disaster and mix it together with my own mess. I wanted the freedom she swam in, and her fearlessness of living in the moment.
I wanted to know what it meant to be a part of her world.
To be a man who felt everything.
I wanted to hold her, but still have her move freely in my arms. I wanted to taste her lips and breathe in a part of her soul as I gave her a glimpse of mine.
I didn't want to be her friend – now.
I wanted to be so much more. ~ Brittainy C. Cherry

We're not helpless, Anna.' He said that without his fangs, but I sure felt like he flashed his razors. Ignoring my instant shivers, or reveling in them, he let out an incredulous laugh. 'He doesn't stand a chance with all of us.' I wondered if excessive arrogance came with the sharp pointies. Nothing touches these guys, except a second bite of poison. ~ Robyn Jones

SUMMER SHOWER. A drop fell on the apple tree, Another on the roof; A half a dozen kissed the eaves, And made the gables laugh. A few went out to help the brook, That went to help the sea. Myself conjectured, Were they pearls, What necklaces could be! The dust replaced in hoisted roads, The birds jocoser sung; The sunshine threw his hat away, The orchards spangles hung. The breezes brought dejected lutes, And bathed them in the glee; The East put out a single flag, And signed the fete away. ~ Emily Dickinson

Yeah," Danello said, "she's exhausted - we all are. It's been a rough few days."
"I'm fine!"
"No, you're not," Danello mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.
"I don't think there's anything more to discuss," Onderaan said. "Jeatar, this isn't going to work. I want them all out by end of day tomorrow."
I folded my arms. The sooner I got out of here, the better. "Fine by me."
"She didn't mean it," Jeatar said, shooting me a look of pure disbelief. "She spent the last week in a box. ~ Janice Hardy

Think about it; the quicktank is given a job most of us would laugh out of town. Build a sophisticated camera capable of full 3-D input and peripheral pickup, using only water and jelly.
Build an eye. ~ Warren Ellis

Yes, I'm the one who washes the plates and glasses
They call me an easy woman
When they give me a penny
I still have to say thank you
Here I am, in ragged clothes
At the bottom of this shabby hotel
Today, you don't know who I am
Today, you don't know who I am

But one evening, one beautiful evening
A big commotion
People running along the shore
Saying: "Look who's coming!"
And me, I'll smile for the first time
They'll say: "You, you're smiling now?"

A big ship
A hundred cannons at the portholes
Will enter the harbour!

I'll always be washing
The glasses and plates
I'll always be an "easy woman"
When they give me a penny
I'll always say thank you
I'll keep my ragged clothes
At the bottom of this shabby hotel
And tomorrow, tomorrow like today
You'll never know who I am!

But one evening, that beautiful evening for which I live
Look how the cannons
Wake up and turn
For the first time, I'll burst out laughing
"What, brat, you have the heart to laugh?"

That big ship
A hundred cannons at the portholes
Will bombard the harbour!

Then the sailors will come to shore
More than a hundred, they'll mark with a cross of blood
Every house, every door
And it's before me that will be brought
Enchained, imploring, mutilated and bloodied
Your kind, all your kind, fi ~ Bertolt Brecht

There is a species of primate in South America more gregarious than most other mammals, with a curious behavior.The members of this species often gather in groups, large and small, and in the course of their mutual chattering , under a wide variety of circumstances, they are induced to engage in bouts of involuntary, convulsive respiration, a sort of loud, helpless, mutually reinforcing group panting that sometimes is so severe as to incapacitate them. Far from being aversive,however, these attacks seem to be sought out by most members of the species, some of whom even appear to be addicted to them.

...the species in Homo sapiens (which does indeed inhabit South America, among other places), and the behavior is laughter. ~ Daniel C. Dennett

No, she is not with child," Khalid said tightly. "She's a virgin, and so am I."
There was a stunned silence among the men.
"You're not supposed to say that out loud," Mo said. "There are women present. ~ Uzma Jalaluddin

I couldn't be dead. I hadn't even brushed my teeth, for crying out loud ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

There are six more paragraphs. You read the whole thing out loud in class. No one likes it. They say your sense of plot is outrageous and incompetent. After class someone asks you if you are crazy. ~ Lorrie Moore

In the strange, shadowed lighting of my small room Dutchy takes off his belt and dress shirt and hangs them over the only chair. He stretches out on the bed in his undershirt and trousers, his back against the wall, and I lean against him, feeling his body curve around mine. His warm breath is on my neck, his arm on my waist. I wonder for a moment if he'll kiss me. I want him to.
"How can this be?" he murmurs. "It isn't possible. I've dreamed of it. Have you?"
I don't know what to say. I never dared to imagine that I'd see him again. In my experience, when you lose somebody you care about, they stay gone.
"What's the best thing that happened to you in the past ten years?" I ask.
"Seeing you again,"
Smiling, I push back against his chest. "Besides that"
"Meeting you the first time."
We both laugh. "Besides that."
"Hmm, besides that," he muses, his lips on my shoulder. "Is there anything besides that?" he pulls me close, his hand cupping my hip bone. And though I've never done anything like this before - have barely ever been alone with a man, certainly not a man in his undershirt - I'm not nervous. When he kisses me, my whole body hums. ~ Christina Baker Kline

Welcome back, Ben," Erica said. I started in surprise before realizing the voice was coming from inside my head. Alexander had slipped a two-way radio into my ear. There were lots of people out and about. The enemy had taken my cell phone, but I put my hand to my ear and pretended to be talking on one anyhow. No one gave me a second glance. Virtually everyone else was on a cell phone themselves. "Can you hear me?" I asked. "Loud and clear," Erica replied. "Where are you?" "Still on campus, looking into things. But I need you to tail someone for me." "Chip?" "No. I think he's clean." "What? But - " "I'll explain later. Right now I need you to go after Tina. She's the mole . . . and she's on the move. ~ Stuart Gibbs

Did you ever climb into one of those suits of armor?"
"Caine did once-it took me over an hour to pry him out."
Shelby gave a murmur of sympathy as she framed his face with her hands. "You were such a good boy." Her laugh was muffled against his lips in a sudden searing kiss.All heat,all fire, without a moment's warning.
"He climbed in," Alan continued as he tugged her hair back to deepen the kiss, "because I suggested it might be an interesting experience."
Breathless,Shelby stared up at him. When would she be prepared for those sudden dangerous turns of his nature? "An instigator," she managed.
"An objective leader," he corrected before he released her. "And I did manage to get him out...after he'd scared the wits out of Rena."
For a moment she leaned against the wall watching him, while the throbbing in her body slowly, very slowly, lessened. "I don't believe you were nearly as well-mannered as you once told me.You probably deserved that broken nose."
"Caine deserved it more."
Shelby laughed again as they moved down another corridor. "I like your family."
"So do I."
"And you enjoyed watching me go nose-to-nose with your father."
"I've always been fond of drawing-room comedies."
"Drawing room? It's more like a throne room. ~ Nora Roberts

If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just
aren't any more words left to say, encourage you when you're
at rock bottom and think there just isn't any way out, hold you
in her arms when you're sick, and laugh with you when you're
up. And if you're her man and that woman loves you - I mean
really loves you? - she will shine you up when you're dusty,
encourage you when you're down, defend you even when she's
not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even
when you're not saying anything worth listening to. ~ Steve Harvey

I can only imagine the sort of havoc Oliver must have wreaked as a boy."
Oliver handed Minerva in, then climbed in to sit beside her. "We weren't that bad."
"Don't listen to him," Minerva exclaimed, her eyes twinkling. "One dull evening, he and his friends went to a ball dressed in the livery of the hired footmen. Then they proceeded to drink up the liquor, flirt and wink at the elderly ladies until they were all blushing, and make loud criticisms of the entertainment. After the lady of the house caught on to their scheme and rounded up some stout young men to throw them out, they stole a small stone cupid she had in her garden and sent her a ransom note for it."
"How the devil do you know that?" Oliver asked. "You were, what, eleven?"
"Twelve," Minerva said. "And it was all Gran's servants could talk about. Made quite a stir in society, as I recall. What was the ransom? A kiss for each of you from the lady's daughter?"
A faint smile touched Oliver's lips. "And she never did pay it. Apparently her suitors took issue with it. Not to mention her parents."
"Good heavens," Maria said.
"Come to think of it," Oliver mused aloud, "I believe Kirkwood still has that cupid somewhere. I should ask him."
"You're as bad as Freddy and my cousins," Maria chided. "They put soap on all the windows of the mayor's carriage on the very day he was supposed to lead a procession through Dartmouth. You should have seen him blustering when he discovered it."
Sabrina Jeffries

On my way over to Park Avenue to find a cab I pass an ugly, homeless bum
a member of the genetic underclass
and when he softly pleads for change, for "anything," I noticed the Barnes & Noble book bag that sits next to him on the steps of the church he's begging on and I can't help but smirk, out loud, "Oh right, like YOU read ... , ~ Bret Easton Ellis

People don't make too much money around here, but what comes with that is a different definition of what it means to be well-off. You're chairman of the board if you need twelve dollars a week and you make twelve dollars a week. If you've also got someone within ten minutes' walk who can make you laugh and someone else within a five-minute walk who can help you mourn, you're a millionaire. If on top of all that you've got a buddy or three who'll feed you delicious things and paint you pictures and dance with you, and another friend who'll watch your kids so you can go out dancing ... that's the billionaire lifestyle. ~ Helen Oyeyemi

Hear the tell-tale cock of a shotgun and I've got my Five-SeveN out and pointing at Merc's face before he can laugh. "You dumbfuck." He puts his hands up and starts waving the gun around like an idiot. "Don't shoot me, bro! Don't shoot me, bro!" I walk over and grab the gun from his hands. "It's don't taze me, you idiot. Not shoot me. ~ J.A. Huss

What's nice is that she's obviously just graduated from some boarding school or institute, that as yet there's nothing femalish, as they say, about her, nothing, that is, of what's most unpleasant about these creatures. Now she's like a child, everything about her is simple: she'll say whatever comes into her head, she'll laugh whenever she feels like laughing. Anything can be made of her, she can be a wonder, yet she can turn out to be worthless too, and worthless is what she will turn out to be! Just let the doting mothers and aunts get their hands on her. In one year they'll fill her with such female stuff of every sort that her own father won't recognize her. From that will come haughtiness and primness. She'll start acting according to the precepts that have been drilled into her, she'll begin racking her brains and trying to figure out with whom, and in what way, and for how long she sould talk, and how she should look at this person or that; and she'll live in constant fear of saying more than she should. ~ Nikolai Gogol

What silly little things sometimes take on meaning in life, suddenly, out of nowhere. And you know they're little nothings, and you laugh at them, but all the same, you go on feeling them, you can't stop ... ~ Sarah Ruhl

This is my saddest story: In grade school, they would have us open our Valentine's cards and read them out loud. I always sent cards to myself because nobody else did. ~ William Shatner

After we've been dancing awhile and need a breather, we walk off the dance floor. I whip out my cell and say, "Pose for me."
The first picture I take is of him trying to pose like a cool bad boy. It makes me laugh. I take another one before he can strike a pose this time.
"Let's take one of the both of us," he says, pulling me close. I press my cheek against his while he takes my cell and puts it as far away as he can reach, then freezes this perfect moment with a click. After the picture is taken, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me. ~ Simone Elkeles

He glanced beside him then patted at his round shoulders. "Want to come up here?" "What, on your shoulders?" He grinned and shrugged. "Yeah, why not? Everyone else is doing it." The idea of a 5'9" girl sitting on a 6'4" guy made me want to laugh. We'd be the brontosaurus of the festival. The acid trippers would see us and freak the hell out. ~ Karina Halle

Changing Expectations by Estimating Probability

A step in correcting your inaccurate expectations is to figure out how likely it is that what you fear will occur. Here are four ways to estimate the probability of an event:

1.Remember past experiences. If you are afraid that no one will speak with you at the party, think about other parties you have attended. Have you ever been to a social gathering where no one spoke to you? Chances are that you probably have not.

2.Look at general rules. If you are worried about spilling something, look at your general experience with how people deal with spills. When someone else spilled, did everyone laugh and gossip about that person? Most likely, they didn't. Spills happen all the time, especially at parties where people are carrying food and drinks. The general rule about spills is that they are usually cleaned up quickly without much fuss.

3.Think about alternate explanations. What you expect is only one possibility. There are also many other possibilities for why something happens. For instance, if a friend from summer camp stops e-mailing you, you might think he or she has decided you are not a good friend. However, there are many other possibilities. He or she simply may be very busy or maybe he or she has forgotten that you wrote last.

4.Practice role reversal. This is one of the best methods for realizing how critical you are of yourself. Pretend that whatever you fear actuall ~ Heather Moehn

Would you do it again?" The words sting sharply. "Would you risk me for your terrorist friends again?" I would. I don't say it out loud, but Lucas sees my answer in my eyes. "I kept your secret."
It's worse than any insult he could throw at me. The knowledge that he protected me, even though I didn't deserve it, gnaws at my core.
"But now I know you're not different, not anymore," he continues, almost spitting. "You're the same as all the rest. Heartless, selfish, cold - just like us. They taught you well. ~ Victoria Aveyard

Your Very Last Days"


Will you live your very last day,
The same way as you lived
Your first?

Will you cry, smile, laugh, and play -
The same way as you did following
Birth?

Will you still look at the world
Full of wonder, love, curiosity, and excitement?
Or will you be dark, bitter and cold,
Without a single drop
Of enlightenment?

Do you live your current days -
Feeling confused,
Depressed,
And AFRAID?

Or do you share your light
In the company
And service of others,
To synergize
Like we were
Made?

Will you live TODAY
With an unquenchable thirst for
Life?

Or,
Will you wait until your very last day -

Wishing you had just
ONE MORE DAY,

To go out and spend
Your time
RIGHT? ~ Suzy Kassem