Francois Lelord Famous Quotes
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Nobody wants to live with a person who'll never be happy.
I didn't intend 'Hector' to be a self-help book when I first started writing. I wrote it as a little tale about a psychiatrist, like me, who sets off around the world in order to discover the vital ingredients for happiness.
And, like poor Phaedra, we fall in love not with who we want to fall in love with, but with one who moves us, and sometimes it is the last person we should fall in love with. Our involuntary choice is not always the right one, and sometimes it is actually the worst one, hence our suffering. And then, of course, there is the completely different situation of the loving people where, over the years, the love they once felt for each other fades and they can't go on. They feel their love dying, but are unable to bring it back to life.
Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.
Nature or nurture' said the professor. 'Whichever way the parents are to blame
I'm old enough to ask myself that question, but not so old that I don't care what the answer is.
Happiness often comes when least expected.
Because the problem with psychiatry is that you mostly study people who aren't doing so well, whereas if you spent a little more time studying people who are doing very well, it might give you some good ideas to help the ones who are not.
Eros is not tranquil - it gives us spikes of happiness rather than a constant feeling of wellbeing. It's the love we feel at the beginning of a love affair and corresponds to the expression 'falling in love' since it is as involuntary an impulse as a physical fall.
Lesson no. 12: It's harder to be happy in a country run by bad people.
[P]erhaps this was how you knew a good deed was truly good: you didn't necessarily feel better afterwards.
Music is a very good way of thinking about time. A note only moves you because you remember the one before, and you're waiting for the next ... Each one only means something wrapped in a bit of the past and the future.
Because there are times when getting up to mischief isn't mischievous and other times when it is and you shouldn't do it.
Did the squirrel realize how lucky he was to be there? Or on the contrary did he spend his life wondering whether he might not be better off somewhere else, or feeling that he didn't have the life he deserved? In the end, it depended on the comparisons the squirrel was able to make
Those who believed in the Good Lord, for whom death was just a journey, and it didn't make them sad at all
Or rather, he was sad because that morning he'd understood that he'd understood nothing, because while he still understood nothing he wasn't sad at all, but now that he'd understood that he'd understood nothing he felt sad, if you follow.
Edouard said that he didn't take Hector for a fool, but he could see that Hector had fallen in love, which was worse than being a fool.
Very different from eros is philia, a serene love much more akin to friendship, with its reciprocal kindnesses. You love each other for the happy experiences and pleasures you share.
He knew his love for her was more a desire to save her, to be her superhero, and it was partly a desire to do what people who are in love do, and partly a desire to feel young again with her, because Ying Li was very young, and she looked even younger.
Happiness is knowing how to celebrate
It is love that transports us, that fills us with joy! Love turns life into one long adventure, every encounter is a dazzling experience - well, not always, of course, but in actual fact, it is our less successful love affairs that enable us to appreciate the others. I think love protects us from one of the biggest problems facing the modern world: boredom.
Be vary wary of people who declare that they're going to create heaven on earth, they almost invariably create hell.
And since he was seeing more and more people who were unhappy for no apparent reason, he was becoming more and more tired, and even a little happy himself. He began to wonder whether he was in the right profession, whether he was happy with his life, whether he wasn't missing out on something. And then he felt very afraid because he wondered whether these unhappy people were contagious.
Happiness is a different thing altogether. If you try to achieve it, you have every chance of failing. And besides, how would you ever know that you'd achieved it? Of course one can't blame people, especially unhappy people, for wanting to be happier and setting themselves goals in order to try to escape from their unhappiness.
We fall in love or stay in love with people who are unsuitable or who no longer love us and, conversely, we feel no love towards people who would be very suitable. Love is involuntary, that's the problem. Our personal histories prepare us to be attracted to people who unconsciously evoke emotions from our childhood or adolescence.
By adding together these three differences - between what we have and what we'd like to have, what we have now and the best of what we've had in the past, and what we have and what other people have - you get an average difference which is closely related to happiness. The smaller the difference, the happier we are.
He looked at Hector's list and told him that, thanks to a lot of studies and calculations, they'd shown that if you compared yourself to others and didn't find yourself wanting, if you had no money or health problems, if you had friends, a close-knit family, a job you liked, if you were religious and practised your religion, if you felt useful, if you went for a little stroll from time to time, and all of this in a country that was run by not very bad people, where you were taken care of when things went wrong, your chances of bring happy were greatly increased.
He who spends too long regretting his ruined crop will be neglect to plant next year's harvest.
Happiness. We're tearing our hair out to try to find a definition of it, for heaven's sake. Is it joy? People will tell you that it isn't, that joy is a fleeting emotion, a moment of happiness, which is always welcome, mind you. And then what about pleasure, huh? Oh, yes, that's easy, everybody knows what that is, but there again it doesn't last. But is happiness not the sum total of lots of small joys and pleasures, huh?
Adeline was really rather charming, she always had a man in her life, but it never worked out: either they were nice but she didn't find them very exciting; or they were exciting but she didn't find them particularly nice, or they were neither nice nor exciting and she wondered why she was with them at all. She found a way of making the exciting men nicer and that was by leaving them. But then, they weren't exciting anymore either.
Happiness is feeling useful to others.
He wondered why he wasn't as in love with her as he was with ... Hector had only shared enjoyment with (her) ... he shared everything, enjoyment and sorrow ... but for some time now they'd shared too much frustration, boredom and fatigue.
The basic mistake people make is to think that happiness is the goal!
Exciting happiness is joy, celebration, travelling, being in bed with a woman you desire.
Lesson no. 20: Happiness is a certain way of seeing things.
Many people see happiness only in their future.
Knowing and feeling are two different things, and feeling is what counts.