Funny Beer Drinking Quotes

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer. ~ Billy Carter

I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer. ~ Ernest Hemingway,

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! ~ Homer

I should like a great lake of ale, for the King of Kings. I should like the family of heaven to be drinking it through time eternal. ~ Brigit Of Kildare

I let my drinking do the talking. ~ Humphrey Bogart

Sitting in this small pub with its cool flagged floor, listening to the murmuring voices of the haymakers and the click of dominoes falling, drinking beer here in the midle of summer in England in 1914, he suddenly felt a stillness creep up on him as if he were suffering from a form of mental palsy
as if time had stopped and the world's turning, also. It was a strange sensation
that he would be for ever stuck in this late June day in 1914 like a fly in amber
the past as irrelevant to him as the future. A perfect statis; the most alluring inertia. ~ William Boyd

One more victim sucked in by John. You get into the room with him and you just fall into a warm pool of beer and video games and penis jokes, staring at the universe with him and saying, Do you believe this shit? ~ David Wong

I was lying there trying to control the fear. I did not know much about this uremic poisoning. A woman I'd known slightly in Texas had died of it after drinking a bottle of beer ever hour, night and day, for two weeks. ~ William S. Burroughs

Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer. ~ John Lee Hooker

They sell courage of a sort in the taverns. And another sort, though not for sale, a man can find in the confessional. Try the alehouses and the churches, Hugh. In either a man can be quiet and think. ~ Ellis Peters

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

It is not against the law to drink in public places, and you will see people drinking in parks or by the lake. The Swiss have a more relaxed attitude to alcohol consumption. From the age of 16, young people can be served beer or wine in a bar. ~ Clare O'Dea

I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds. ~ Ernest Hemingway,

You can have a wrestling idea, but you need to have these momentum-shifting moves. We had the Hulkamania movement, then it shifted to the beer-drinking, Stone Cold era, we reinvented the business with growing the black beard and becoming the bad guy, what's that next level. ~ Hulk Hogan

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. ~ W.C. Fields

First there was a young guy sitting in front of television in a T-shirt drinking beer with his mother, then there was an older fatter person sitting in front of television in a T-shirt drinking beer with his mother. ~ William S. Burroughs

My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer. Weddings, Funerals, Water Skiing, Parent-Teacher Conference. When I got sick around him as a kid growing up, he'd always warm me up a shot of 100 proof whiskey. Never got sick ... that I can remember. ~ Christopher Titus

If I saved all the money I spent on beer, I'd spend it on beer. ~ Granger Smith

When dealing with complex transportation issues, the best thing to do is pull up with a cold beer and let somebody else figure it out. ~ Anthony Bourdain

See, vodka, that's drinking. Beer - well, beer is just getting the inside of your mouth wet. ~ Tad Williams

Nowadays, especially when you think of electronic music, it's like, the producer is mostly the one who makes the music or the beats and everything. But I am more, since I'm that old, when I started to make music the producer was just sitting in the back shouting and drinking beer. ~ Karin Dreijer Andersson

I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark. ~ H.L. Mencken

Where did you meet?" he pressed on.
I shrugged and considered a little rephrasing. "I was out for a run."
"From who?"
I leaned back to take a long, very long, slow sip of that beer.
Knox leaned forward. "I think we're both bullsh*tting here, you ever play that card game?"
"With my grandma, every Sunday after church. ~ Dannika Dark

I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years. ~ Samuel L. Jackson

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!" ~ Dylan Moran

I look up at the sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of kindness there, but I don't. All I see are indifferent summer clouds drifting over the Pacific. And they have nothing to say to me. Clouds are always taciturn. I probably shouldn't be looking up at them. What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see kindness there? No, all I see is my own nature. My own individual, stubborn, uncooperative often self-centered nature that still doubts itself
that, when troubles occur, tries to find something funny, or something nearly funny, about the situation. I've carried this character around like an old suitcase, down a long, dusty path. I'm not carrying it because I like it. The contents are too heavy, and it looks crummy, fraying in spots. I've carried it with me because there was nothing else I was supposed to carry. Still, I guess I have grown attached to it. As you might expect. ~ Haruki Murakami

'I see,' said Karl, staring at the quickly emptying basket and listening to the curious noise which Robinson made in drinking, for the beer seemed first to plunge right down into his throat and gurgle up again with a sort of whistle before finally pouring its flood into the deep. ~ Franz Kafka

Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to. ~ Martin Luther

These kids should be out drinking beer and seeing films and having panty raids and losing virginities and writhing to suggestive music, not making up long, sad, convoluted stories. ~ David Foster Wallace

We should thank God for beer and burgundy by not drinking too much of them. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead ~ Samuel Goldwyn

I had a chronic beer-face condition; no matter what I was drinking, I ended up looking like I'd just eaten a live tarantula. It was very sophisticated. ~ Anna Jarzab

Pure water is the best gifts a man can bring.
But who am I that I should have the best of anything?
Let princes revel at the pump, let peers with ponds make free,
... beer is good enough for me. ~ Charles Neaves, Lord Neaves

He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest. ~ Scott Adams

A Christian might drink only ginger ale at the tavern bar, but there he is already on the way to drinking beer and whiskey. The girl who attends a ball but never dances a step, will soon surrender her body to the lustful embrace of every casual male acquaintance as other dancers do. ~ John R. Rice