The Golf Game Quotes

I don't want to rest on my laurels. I still feel like I'm learning a lot about the golf game and the swing. There are so many different little facets of golf that there is always something to learn. ~ Fred Funk

A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do. ~ Osbert Sitwell

I grew up not having a father. Golf is the father I never had. It taught me honesty and respect and discipline and it taught me to control my temperament. ~ George Lopez

The best stroked putt in a lifetime does not bring the aesthetic satisfaction of a perfectly hit wood or iron shot. There is nothing to match the whoosh and soar, the almost magical flight of a beautifully hit drive or 5-iron. ~ Al Barkow

Bliss - a-second-by-second joy and gratitude at the gift of being alive, conscious - lies on the other side of crushing, crushing boredom. Pay close attention to the most tedious thing you can find (Tax Returns, Televised Golf) and, in waves, a boredom like you've never known will wash over you and just about kill you. Ride these out, and it's like stepping from black and white into color. Like water after days in the desert. Instant bliss in every atom. ~ David Foster Wallace

First and fore-most, you must have confidence. Your second mental problem is concentration. Think the shot through in advance before you address the ball. Draw a mental image of where you want it to go and then eliminate everything else from your mind, except how you are going to get the ball into that preferred spot. ~ Sam Snead

The other sad truth about golf spectatorship is that for today's pros it all comes down to the putting, and that the difference between a putt that drops and one that rims the cup, though teleologically enormous, is intellectually negligeable. ~ John Updike

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't. ~ Tony Lema

If you'd asked me at 30 where I'd be during the Masters when I was 46, I'd have pictured myself on a boat fishing, smoking a cigar, drinking a mint julep and watching it on television. ~ Jack Nicklaus

It's often necessary to hit a second shot to really appreciate the first one. ~ Henry Beard

Mickey Mantle was a very good golfer, but we weren't allowed to play golf during the season; only at spring training. ~ Yogi Berra

Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. There are no time constraints, as there are in other sports. Your competitors are not allowed to hinder you, as they are in other sports. The pressure originates in yourself; it builds from doubts. A two-foot putt on the practice green doesn't spark many doubts. A two-foot putt to win a bet or a tournament or a Masters is another thing entirely. ~ Joe Posnanski

It's hard to believe a kid hitting golf balls in the cow pastures of New Mexico could have accomplished what I have accomplished. ~ Billy Casper

I see things written about the golf swing that I can't believe will work except by accident . ~ Harvey Penick

For as long as I could remember, he had never worn a single piece of clothing that could be considered casual. Khaki shorts and golf shirts, to Umberto, were the garments of men who have no virtues left, not even shame. ~ Anne Fortier

I didn't hit the ball like I was 46. But I putted like I was 66. ~ Fred Couples

If I could have shot 69 in the last round every time, I would have won nine U.S. Opens. Nine! ~ Sam Snead

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. ~ Tommy Bolt

Prescott Bush was himself a president of the U. S. Golf Association at one time - 1935 - before he became a U.S. senator from the state of Connecticut. ~ Dan Jenkins

In the language of the day it is customary to describe a certain sort of book as "escapist" literature. As I understand it, the adjective implies, a little condescendingly, that the life therein depicted cannot be identified with the real life which the critic knows so well in W.C.1: and may even have the disastrous effect on the reader of taking him happily for a few hours out of his own real life in N.W.8. Why this should be a matter for regret I do not know; nor why realism in a novel is so much admired when realism in a picture is condemned as mere photography; nor, I might add, why drink and fornication should seem to bring the realist closer to real life than, say, golf and gardening. ~ A.A. Milne

All of a sudden I'm an expert on everything. Interviewers want your opinion on golf, foreign policy and even the price of peanuts. ~ Hubert Green

This is one of the most special golf courses in the planet. ~ Graeme McDowell

I'm not very good in the rain. I don't wear a golf glove. ~ Fred Couples

The putter looks like a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together, but the ball goes in the hole. ~ Julius Boros

You don't hit anything on the backswing, so why rush it? ~ Doug Ford, Jr.

Besides good schools, a good airport, and the Cowboys, Dallas had golf courses, and golf was fast becoming an obsession with me. ~ Charley Pride

Having inched closer and accomplished some of my major goals in the sport of golf, no pun intended, why not work as hard as I can to attain those goals if I'm already feeling like I'm playing well and getting more and more comfortable. ~ Jordan Spieth

When I go in for heart surgery, I want a full-time surgeon. I don't want some guy who just does it part-time between rounds of golf. You want a guy who is doing it all the time and is always reading and learning about the most recent techniques. ~ Don Meyer

I don't let birdies and pars get in the way of having a good time ~ Angelo Spagnolo

On stage, I'm this figure, this actor, who does things that people aren't used to seeing and I relish in that reaction. In real life, though, I play golf, I shop and I walk around with no makeup on and my hair in a ponytail. I may not be the typical middle-aged Joe, but I'm closer to normal than you think. ~ Alice Cooper

[Golfers] are a special kind of moral relist who nips the normal romantic and idealstic yearnings in the bud by proving once or twice a week that life is unconquerable but endurable. ~ Alistair Cooke

There are no short hitters on the tour anymore - just long and unbelievably long. ~ Sam Snead

I open the driving range and I close it. I thought you ought to know that I work hard. I like practising. I enjoy it. If I did not enjoy it I would not do it. What is the point of going back to the hotel, having a drink and talking a load of bull? ~ Vijay Singh

I had one job that was kind of cop-like. One summer I did security at a miniature golf course. Just standing out in the sun all day, Hey, hey, excuse me sir. Get your putter out of the whale's ass. Come on, this is a place of miniature business. This is not a playground even though it looks like a playground. ~ Dane Cook

Ladies, we are at a massive disadvantage in the workplace. Your male peers are flirting with their male bosses constantly. The average workplace is like f*cking Bromancing the Stone. That's basically what male bonding is. Flirting. They're flirting with each other playing golf, they're flirting with each other going to the football, they're flirting with each other chatting at the urinals – and, sadly, flirting with each other in after-hours visits to strip clubs and pubs. They are bonding with each other over their biological similarities. If the only way you can bond with them is over your biological differences, you go for it. Feel pressurised to actually f*ck them if you do? Then don't flirt. Find it an easy way to just crack on? Then crack on – and don't blame other women for doing it. ~ Caitlin Moran

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls ~ Greg Gutfeld

Jimmy Demaret and I had the best sports psychologist in the world. His name was Jack Daniels and he was waiting for us after every round. ~ Jack Burke, Jr.

If you let it, the Masters will play you instead of you playing it. Augusta National can pamper you right off the bottom of the leader board. Pampered before and after your round, but mentally and emotionally pulverized during them - that's the formula. ~ Joe Inman

The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win. ~ Phil Mickelson

It rose slowly like a gull sensing a reckless blue fish to close to the surface, and then it dived relentlessly for the green, kicked and stopped three feet short of the flag. ~ Alistair Cooke

It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks. ~ Karrie Webb

I can't stand Tiger Woods. He is the most selfish man I've ever played golf with. ~ Stewart Rahr

Later in the afternoon the sun went down with a riotous swirl of gold and varying blues and scarlets, and left the dry, rustling night of Western summer. Dexter watched from the veranda of the Golf Club, watched the even overlap of the waters in the little wind, silver molasses under the harvest-moon. Then the moon held a finger to her lips and the lake became a clear pool, pale and quiet. Dexter put on his bathing-suit and swam out to the farthest raft, where he stretched dripping on the wet canvas of the springboard. There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Over on a dark peninsula a piano was playing the songs of last summer and of summers before that - songs from "Chin-Chin" and "The Count of Luxemburg" and "The Chocolate Soldier" - and because the sound of a piano over a stretch of water had always seemed beautiful to Dexter he lay perfectly quiet and listened. ~ F Scott Fitzgerald

As I watched the seagulls, I thought, That's the road to take; find the absolute rhythm and follow it with absolute trust. ~ Nikos Kazantzakis

The good characters in my book are loosely based on folks I know. All the bad stuff is made up. ~ Mike Bove

The more New Yorkers like something, the more disgusted they are. The kitchen was all Sub-Zero: I want to kill myself. The building has a playroom that makes you want to break your own jaw with a golf club. I can't take it. ~ Tina Fey

Sometimes when you play a golf course for the first time, you just got to be committed to your targets. ~ Camilo Villegas

Golf is the only-est sport. You're completely alone with every conceivable opportunity to defeat yourself. Golf brings out your assets and liabilities as a person. The longer you play, the more certain you are that a man's performance is the outward manifestation of who, in his heart, he really thinks he is. ~ Hale Irwin