Lawyers Quotes

They speak to each other through the magistrate, like warring children communicating through a parent, their words are extravagantly emotive illustrated with flamboyant gestures that are wasted on the empty court room ~ Clare Mackintosh

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted. ~ Tom Holt

Cagey trial lawyers have figured out there's a pretty good likelihood their case - no matter what its merit - will literally get its day in court because of favorable judges. ~ Dennis Hastert

During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers? ~ P. J. O'Rourke

He told me he was used to getting what he wanted. ~ Celia Conrad

Anyway, it's best not to think about them, as if you do it makes the discussions with the other lawyers, all their advice and all that they do manage to achieve, seem so unpleasant and useless, I had that experience myself, just wanted to throw everything away and lay at home in bed and hear nothing more about it. But that, of course, would be the stupidest thing you could do, and you wouldn't be left in peace in bed for very long either. ~ Franz Kafka

Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year. ~ Craig Kilborn

You can, if you wish, think of it like the universe: Each case is a sun, and all the judges, lawyers and administrative personnel represent planets revolving around the case in fixed orbit, never getting closer. ~ Sol Wachtler

What the world needs more than anything are Bodhisattvas of peace, lawyers, politicians, teachers working tirelessly for the enlightenment of themselves and others. ~ Sogyal Rinpoche

The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality. ~ Garrison Keillor

A lawyer's relationship to justice and wisdom is on a par with a piano tuner's relationship to a concert. He neither composes the music, nor interprets it-he merely keeps the machinery running. ~ Lucille Kallen

America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold. ~ Bob Hope

Sol in Sagittarius

Sagittarius governs faith, religion, writings, bookes, and the interpretation of dreames.
Those born under the signe of the archer shall work great wonders and receive much honour and joye.
While Sagittarius rules the heavens, consult with lawyers about thy business.
It is a good season for making oaths and striking bargains. ~ Deborah Harkness

I like to be on TV when interviewers are good. I like it especially when it's live. When they can cut things, I don't like it as much. Sometimes they cut something and say, "Well, you would get in trouble, you would get a lawsuit." I tell them, "Well, I don't want my lawyers to be unemployed. ~ Karl Lagerfeld

Yes, but bad language is bound to make in addition bad government, whereas good language is not bound to make bad government. That again is clear Confucius: if the orders aren't clear they can't be carried out. Lloyd George's laws were such a mess, the lawyers never knew what they meant. And Talleyrand proclaimed that they changed the meaning of words between one conference and another. The means of communication breaks down, and that of course is what we are suffering now. We are enduring the drive to work on the subconscious without appealing to the reason. They repeat a trade name with the music a few times, and then repeat the music without it so that the music will give you the name. I think of the assault. We suffer from the use of language to conceal thought and to withhold all vital and direct answers. There is the definite use of propaganda, forensic language, merely to conceal and mislead. ~ Ezra Pound

We have a massive system to regulate creativity. A massive system of lawyers regulating creativity as copyright law has expanded in unrecognizable forms, going from a regulation of publishing to a regulation of copying. ~ Lawrence Lessig

In my considered opinion, salary is payment for goods delivered and it must conform to the law of supply and demand. If, therefore, the fixed salary is a violation of this law - as, for instance, when I see two engineers leaving college together and both equally well trained and efficient, and one getting forty thousand while the other only earns two thousand , or when lawyers and hussars, possessing no special qualifications, are appointed directors of banks with huge salaries - I can only conclude that their salaries are not fixed according to the law of supply and demand but simply by personal influence. And this is an abuse important in itself and having a deleterious effect on government service. ~ Leo Tolstoy

If we move away from the American tradition of lawyers defending those with whom they vehemently disagree
as we temporarily did during the McCarthy period
we weaken our commitment to the rule of law ... So beware of an approach which limits advocacy to that which is approved by the standards of political correctness. ~ Alan Dershowitz

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. ~ Garry Trudeau

I cannot write as well as some people; my talent is in coming up with good stories about lawyers.That is what I am good at. ~ John Grisham

People do not win people fights. Lawyers do. ~ Norman Ralph Augustine

This week I was proud to join with my colleagues to help pass two important, common-sense pieces of legislation that will limit the frivolous lawsuits by trial attorneys and personal injury lawyers that clog our courts and hurt our small businesses. ~ Bob Ney

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent. ~ Aaron Allston

Confound the subtlety of lawyers with the subtlety of the law. ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

Never take drugs before Marmalade ~ Tyne O'Connell

There's something oddly comforting about talking to a legal guy once the billable hours clock has started running; you have passed the magical point at which a lawyer becomes your lawyer. Your lawyer is warm, your lawyer is sympathetic, your lawyer makes notes on a yellow pad and nods in all the right places. Most of the questions your lawyer asks are questions you can answer. And if you can't your lawyer will help you find a way to do so, by God. Your lawyer is always on your side. Your enemies are his enemies. To him you are never shit but always Shinola. ~ Stephen King

The dismal quarter of Soho seen under these changing glimpses, with its muddy ways, and slatternly passengers, and its lamps, which had never been extinguished or had been kindled afresh to combat this mournful re-invasion of darkness, seemed, in the lawyer's eyes, like a district of some city in a nightmare (The Carew Murder Case) ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Implicit egotism can also influence what you chose to do with your life. By analyzing professional membership directories, Pelham and his colleagues found that people named Denise or Dennis are disproportionately likely to become dentists, while people named Laura or Lawrence are more likely to become lawyers, and people with names like George or Georgina to become geologists. ~ David Eagleman

I'm a lawyer. I make lawyers for a living. ~ Lawrence Lessig

The Constitution guarantees the right of the People to have any person they choose assist them in court. This was the first Constitutional right the lawyers' cartel had to scrap. To this end, the Bar Association, through its member judges, interpreted the word "counsel" in the Sixth Amendment to mean "attorney-at-law" (which is, by definition, a member of their cartel). The word counsel can be found in any dictionary, and its primary meaning is not "attorney-at-law." In fact, it means any person who gives advice. ~ Joseph Befumo

The Indian diaspora is not a capital-accumulating diaspora. The Indian diaspora is doctors, lawyers, professors. Or newspaper sellers. They are basically trade- or profession-oriented, and so they're not major investors in their home country. ~ Jairam Ramesh

You mentioned law school, he said, and this grabbed her attention. They talked about it at length, with Jake careful not to make his description as dreadful as the three-year ordeal itself. Occasionally, like all lawyers, Jake was asked by students if he would recommend the law as a profession. He had never found an honest way to say no, though he had many reservations. ~ John Grisham

I sat next to Robert Duvall at the lawyers' table for six weeks, and it's still probably the best six weeks of my life. ~ Peter Jacobson

Change from below, the formulation of demands from the populace to end unacceptable injustice, supported by direct action, has played a far larger part in shaping British democracy than most constitutional lawyers, political commentators, historians or statesmen have ever cared to admit. Direct action in a democratic society is fundamentally an educational exercise. ~ Tony Benn

For just a heartbeat I picture the life I could've had if I'd joined a sterile corporate law firm on the partner track. I imagined meeting my clients in paneled wood conference rooms instead of re-purposed storage closets that smell like bleach and pee. I imagine shaking the hand of a client whose hand isn't trembling from meth withdrawal or abject terror at a justice system he doesn't trust. ~ Jodi Picoult

Old Timer Farmer's Wisdom in Haiku
Keep skunks, city slickers,
Jews, lawyers at a distance
Or else ya' get fucked.

Life is simpler when
You plow around the stump
Or else ya' get fucked.

If you don'tknow bees
Are faster than your tractor
Ya' gonna'get fucked.

Do your pissing down
Stream and your drinking upstream
Or else ya' get fucked.

Fences need to be
Horse-high, pig-tight,bull-strong
Or else ya' get fucked

Cheat an Indian
Out of his liquor money
Ya' gonna get stabbed. ~ Beryl Dov

The two men were greedily hunched over the table, like two wolves disputing a carcass, but their muttered speech in the echoing hall resembled more the grunting of pigs. One was less than a wolf: he was a public prosecutor. The other was more than a pig, he was a chief commissioner of police. ~ Jan Neruda

Emotions are reserved for juries and, in that case, a good lawyer can really lay them on when the time is right, better than the best Academy Award winning actor ~ Kenneth Eade

I'm a lawyer. Pessimists see a glass half-empty; optimists see a glass half-full. Lawyers see a glass containing possible carcinogenic materials without a warning label. Skepticism is coded in our DNA. ~ Naima Simone

So many people spend years (and money) studying to be doctors, lawyers, actors, dancers, business executives and scientists - when you're an author, you can be any of these things, and you don't need a degree or certificate; all you need is an imagination, a dream and an open mind. ~ Rebecca McNutt

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function. ~ Victor Borge

That very document [Constitution] does little to serve people when Supreme Court decisions are written so that even high-priced lawyers can't figure them out. ~ Mike DeWine

There was something unfair about a system in which a little kid was brought into a courtroom and surrounded by lawyers arguing and sniping at each other under the scornful eye of a judge, the referee, and somehow in the midst of this barrage of laws and code sections and motions and legal talk the kid was supposed to know what was happening to him. It was hopelessly unfair. ~ John Grisham

The dangerous men were still asleep, their blades sheathed next to their beds. The really dangerous men had been up for hours, and their quills and ledgers were getting hard use. ~ Daniel Polansky

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives. ~ Joan Rivers

Heaven knows insanity was disreputable enough, long ago; but now that the lawyers have got to cutting every gallows rope and picking every prison lock with it, it is become a sneaking villainy that ought to hang and keep on hanging its sudden possessors until evil-doers should conclude that the safest plan was to never claim to have it until they came by it legitimately. The very calibre of the people the lawyers most frequently try to save by the insanity subterfuge ought to laugh the plea out of the courts, one would think. ~ Mark Twain

I'm sure I took some licks at the system, and at trials and lawyers in general. I've seen enough of them for so many years both as a cop and a defendant in defamation cases. ~ Joseph Wambaugh

Lawyers and physicians are an ill provision for any country. ~ Michel De Montaigne

Imposition of the death penalty is arbitrary and capricious. Decision of who will live and who will die for his crime turns less on the nature of the offense and the incorrigibility of the offender and more on inappropriate and indefensible considerations: the political and personal inclinations of prosecutors; the defendant's wealth, race and intellect; the race and economic status of the victim; the quality of the defendant's counsel; and the resources allocated to defense lawyers. ~ Gerald Heaney

I told him that the lawyers were always saying 'You can't say that you'll get sued.' He said to me, 'Write fiction Michael, you can tell the truth.' (Kirk Douglas to Michael Caine) ~ Michael Caine

I don't know that you'll understand this, but once upon a time, long ago, I was a scholar and a marathon man, but that fella's gone now, dead I suppose, but I remember something he thought, which was that if you don't learn the mistakes of the past, you'll be doomed to repeat them. Well we've been making a mistake with people like you, because public trials are bullshit and executions are games for winners - all this time we should have been giving back pain. That's the real lesson. That's the loser's share, just pain, pure and simple, pain and torture, no hotshot lawyers running around trying to see that justice is done. I think we'd have a nice peaceful place here if all you warmakers knew you better not start something because if you lost, agony was just around the bend. That's what I'd like to give you. Agony. Not what you're suffering now. I mean a lifetime of it, 'cause that's the only degree of justice I think we're ready for down here yet, and I know any humanist might disagree with me too, but I don't think you will, because you had a lot to do with educating me, I'm like you now, except I'm better at it, because you're going to die and I've still got a long way to go. ~ William Goldman

Lawyers are necessary in a community. Some of you ... take a different view; but as I am a member of that legal profession, or was at one time, and have only lost standing in it to become a politician, I still retain the pride of the profession. And I still insist that it is the law and the lawyer that make popular government under a written constitution and written statutes possible.. ~ William Howard Taft

[The clerk] held in front of him a scroll with a red wax seal affixed, the kind of thing believed to make a document official - or at least expensive and difficult to understand, which, in fact, amounts to the same thing. ~ Terry Pratchett

We got dragged through a system and got burned by crooked lawyers, and the list goes on and on. ~ Jerry Only

He takes a deep breath, and opens the door. In my other life I used to know people like that
they're frightened by the sound of wind through the leaves, they can't bear cockroaches, not to mention policemen, lawyers, even dentists. And yet when the dragon bursts into the clearing, opens its mouth and spits fire, they stand up to them. Calm, cool as an angel. ~ Jose Eduardo Agualusa

Sometimes one of the justices, because they're, you know, they're brilliant lawyers themselves, can put the question in a particular way so that, even if you've prepared to talk about the topic, the question is put in such an excruciatingly difficult way that there's just no good way to handle it. ~ Donald Verrilli Jr.

Be cautious then, young ladies; be wary how you engage. Be shy of loving frankly; never tell all you feel, or (a better way still), feel very little. See the consequences of being prematurely honest and confiding, and mistrust yourselves and everybody. Get yourselves married as they do in France, where the lawyers are the bridesmaids and confidantes. At any rate, never have any feelings which may make you uncomfortable, or make any promises which you cannot at any required moment command and withdraw. That is the way to get on, and be respected, and have a virtuous character in Vanity Fair. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

What exactly is meant by the quaint and popular term professional? Does not the very word imply a superior class of people? Couldn't we apply this definition to farmers, or truckdrivers, or janitors, or factory workers, or butchers, or bakers, or any of the other anonymous classes of laborers? By bestowing such a title on certain fortunate groups such as doctors and lawyers, aren't we suggesting that what they provide is of a special importance? Aren't more imagined responsibilities being attributed to them in order to justify the undeniable reality of their superior rights and perquisites? Or are we simply recognizing the fact that they are paid far more than what we kindly refer to as 'employees? ~ Donald Jeffries

There must be some point, at which the lawyer's own personal and social morality will rebel against his traditional allegiance to his client. ~ Harry Jones

The study of history and philosophy, accompanied by some acquaintance with art and literature, should be for lawyers and engineers as well as for those who study in arts faculties. ~ Terry Eagleton

I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation. ~ Greg Proops

Successful trial lawyers are like heat-seeking missiles carrying payloads of information prejudicial to their opponent's case, constantly looking for the chance to unload their cargo, right up until the final moments of trial. ~ David Berg

It was a skill useful to lawyers, and no man in all English history was more the lawyer than Coke. He personified a profession considered both so influential and so dubious that in 1372 the House of Commons had tried to bar lawyers from Parliament; little had changed when, in Coke's lifetime, Shakespeare wrote, "First, kill all the lawyers. ~ John M Barry

Everyone ought to take every opportunity to blast lawyers. ~ Marlin Fitzwater

Lawyers had abolished the simple concept of right and wrong, turning it into degrees of guilt. ~ Peter F. Hamilton

You have the maturity of a 14-year-old boy!" Kennedy hisses.
"And you have the chest of one. ~ Emma Chase

Vicars, MPS and lawyers were amont those who considered me to be the best hostess in London. ~ Cynthia Payne

Lawyers hold that there are two kinds of particularly bad witnesses
a reluctant witness, and a too-willing witness. ~ Charles Dickens

They were all lawyers, all schooled in the authority of words, though as their words turned to dust a pall of impotence and futility settled over the mission. ~ Ben Fountain

The natural fact that in every society exist children and adults, young and old, women and men, sick and healthy, weak and strong, as well as the socially marginalized and privileged, poor and rich, attracts the attention of sociologists and particularly lawyers only when problems appear in the social relations between these groups. ~ Milovan M. Mitrović

This was the difficulty with laws and with legal language: they used language which very few people, apart from lawyers, understood. Penal Codes, then, were all very well, but she wondered whether it might not be simpler to rely on something like the Ten Commandments, which, with a bit of modernisation, seemed to give a perfectly good set of guidelines for the conduct of one's life, ~ Alexander McCall Smith

seemed to her that such a one abdicated all claim to enjoy the fruits of those friendly relations with people of good position which prudent parents cultivate and store up for their children's benefit, for my great-aunt had actually ceased to 'see' the son of a lawyer we had known because he had married a 'Highness' and had thereby stepped down - in her eyes - from the respectable position of a lawyer's son to that of those adventurers, upstart footmen or stable-boys mostly, to whom we read that queens have sometimes shewn their favours. ~ Marcel Proust

Whatever their failings as a class may be, and however likely to lose their immortal souls, lawyers do not generally lose papers. ~ Arthur Cheney Train

A suffering world cries for mercy, as far as the eye can see. Lawyers around every bend in the road, lawyers in every tree. ~ Tom Paxton

The negative principle that no law is free law, is not much known except among lawyers. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Many of the points made by the antiwar movement have been consciously assimilated by the Pentagon and its lawyers and advisers. Precision weaponry is good in itself, but its ability to discriminate is improving and will continue to improve. Cluster bombs are perhaps not good in themselves, but when they are dropped on identifiable concentrations of Taliban troops, they do have a heartening effect. ~ Christopher Hitchens

Blues is a natural fact, is something that a fellow lives. If you don't live it you don't have it. Young people have forgotten to cry the blues. Now they talk and get lawyers and things. ~ Big Bill Broonzy

Why are scientists now using lawyers in laboratory experiments instead of rats? Three reasons: (1) lawyers are more plentiful than rats, (2) there is no danger the scientists will become attached to the lawyers, and (3) there are some things rats just won't do. ~ Gerry Spence

If law school is so hard to get through ... how come there are so many lawyers? ~ Calvin Trillin

Legal representation in the 21st century was becoming a risky business. ~ Kenneth Eade

One is respected in a community to the extent, and only to the extent, that he or she respects his own position in life. There are doctors, lawyers, and even clergymen who are a disgrace to humanity, and the disciples of Christ were lowly fishermen. I would not, for all the world, have any one of you children grow up to feel that you were less than equal in every way to any other human being who walks the face of the earth. ~ Ralph Moody

Love has no place in a lawyer's office. ~ Elizabeth Aston

He aimed at the lawyer's heart but missed it. It was a mistrial. ~ Natalya Vorobyova

The law is not an ass but a chameleon in ass skin: it turns deathly black when around blacks and pristine white when around whites ~ Agona Apell

I love lawyers and bankers, they are my family, but I don't want to live with them. It doesn't make a city. You need people with brain and heart and soul that give it all. You need young people on skateboards and you need people running around making noise. ~ Agathe Snow

When I first wrote 'Papa Hemingway,' there were too many people still alive, and the lawyers for Random House didn't want to OK it. But now all that's been filtered away by the passage of all these people. And having the fortune of surviving, I now feel that I am the custodian of what Ernest wanted the world to know about him and these women. ~ A. E. Hotchner

Churchmen are quick to defend religious freedom; lawyers were never so universally aroused as by President Roosevelt's Court bill; newspapers are most alert to civil liberties when there is a hint of press censorship in the air. And educators become perturbed at every effort to curb academic freedom. But too seldom do all of these become militant when ostensibly the rights of only one group are threatened. They do not always react to the truism that when the rights of any individual or group are chipped away, the freedom of all erodes. ~ Earl Warren

Nobody wants to read about the honest lawyer down the street who does real estate loans and wills. If you want to sell books, you have to write about the interesting lawyers - the guys who steal all the money and take off. That's the fun stuff. ~ John Grisham

Each generation identifies with a small group of people said to have lived lives exemplifying the vices and virtues of that generation. If one were to choose a trial lawyer whose life reflected the unique characteristics of America's "Wild West" of a criminal justice system in the latter half of the Twentieth Century, that person likely would be my father.

New York City of the 1960s until the turn of the 21st century was the world's epicenter of organized and white-collar crime. During those four decades, the most feared mafia chiefs, assassins, counterfeiters, Orthodox Jewish money launderers, defrocked politicians of every stripe, and Arab bankers arriving in the dead of night in their private jets, sought the counsel of one man: my father, Jimmy La Rossa.

Once a Kennedy-era prosecutor, Brooklyn-born Jimmy La Rossa became one of the greatest criminal trial lawyers of his day. He was the one man who knew where all of the bodies were buried, and everyone knew it. It seemed incomprehensible that Jimmy would one day just disappear from New York. Forever.

After stealing my dying father from New York Presbyterian Hospital to a waiting Medevac jet, the La Rossa Boys, as we became known, spent the next five years in a place where few would look for two diehard New Yorkers: a coastal town in the South Bay of Los Angeles, aptly named Manhattan Beach.

While I cooked him his favorite Italian dishes and kept him alive using the most advanced ~ James M. LaRossa Jr.

Nine months after graduation, a little more than half of the class of 2013 had found full-time jobs as lawyers, down from 77 percent of 2007, according to the most recent data from the American Bar Association and the National Association for Law Placement. Those who did find jobs had starting salaries that were 8 percent below the 2009 peak, averaging $78,205 in 2013. While attending American University Washington ~ Anonymous

Animals don't hire lawyers ~ Hunter S. Thompson

You look at the pillars of the state: politics, the media, police, lawyers - they've all got their formal role, and then nestling above that is that power elite who are networked in through soft, social links, that are actually running the show. Why didn't I know that 10 years ago, and why didn't I rail against it? Why did I become part of it? ~ Tom A. Watson

As any editor will tell you, startling newsroom revelations are generally met with queries about where the information came from and how the reporter got it. Seriously startling revelations are followed by the vetting of libel lawyers. ~ Graydon Carter

Far as I know, Legal Aid was invented to help poor people fight wrongs; [the criminals] are abusing the system, and the damned lawyers help them do it. They're all sticking two fingers up at them who pay their taxes. And I'll tell you sommat for free, Sir George, them who pays the taxes are eventually going to get fed up of it. ~ Andrew Barrett

I think that lawyers are terrible at admitting that they're wrong. And not just admitting it; also realizing it. Most lawyers are very successful, and they think that because they're making money and people think well of them, they must be doing everything right. ~ Alan Dershowitz

The USA legal system is designed to enrich lawyers, protect the government and corporations, and shaft the general public. ~ Steven Magee

People who do not eat butterflies will wear their clothes the wrong way, and people who wear their clothes the wrong way are inviting lemmings inside." -- Muzhduk the Ugli the Third ~ Alexander Boldizar

The law is like one of those sci-fi creatures that keeps growing limbs and spawning replicas of itself until they take over the entire world. ~ Melody A. Kramer

I don't have any friends; I just have lawyers. ~ Mike Oldfield

Interestingly, the historic case of 1868 in England that first defined obscenity-known among lawyers as the Hicklin decision- evolved out of the prosecution of a pamphlet describing how priests were often so sexually aroused while hearing women's confessions that they sometimes masturbated and even copulated with their repentant subjects in the confessional. ~ Gay Talese