Happy Divorce Quotes

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. ~ Garry Trudeau

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. ~ H.L. Mencken

Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones. ~ Joan Rivers

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money. ~ Wendy Liebman

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing. ~ Craig Ferguson

I like marriage, family life and I wish to get married again. But opting out of an unhappy marriage was a duty toward myself & my future. ~ Rossana Condoleo

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced - when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy. ~ Evan Esar

Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat. ~ Tracy Letts

Many divorces are not really the result of irreparable injury but involve, instead, a desire on the part of the man or woman to shatter the setup, start out from scratch alone, and make life work for them all over again. They want the risk of disaster, want to touch bottom, see where bottom is, and, coming up, to breathe the air with relief and relish again. ~ Edward Hoagland

I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters. ~ Susan B. Anthony

This habit of free speaking at ladies' lunches has impaired society; it has doubtless led to many of the tragedies of divorce and marital unhappiness. Could society be deaf and dumb and Congress abolished for a season, what a happy and peaceful life one could lead! ~ M. E. W. Sherwood

Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving. ~ Pat Robertson

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches. ~ Evan Esar

People don't care about being duped as long as they're happy, which is the shortest form of happiness; hence 'self-duprication' becomes a habit. ~ Criss Jami

Right now, I'd be happy to find whatever it was and let it pull me into his den away from Penthouse page sixteen up there. ~ Heather Dahlgren

When I sealed the deal on Douglass, I thought I had everything I wanted. But I was wrong. You're everything thing I want. Everything I need. ~ Jackie Braun

„Wallace."
He looks up.
„I want to be happy," I say.
„Me too," he says. ~ Francesca Zappia

Well, you have to understand where we came from. We are not here because we decided 10 years ago that we were going to be x-size company, and, oh, yeah, Jackson would be a good headquarters. We work here in Mississippi because we started here, and we are certainly happy here. Those of us working out of Jackson intend to continue working out of Jackson. ~ Bernard Ebbers

I had lost my way for some time, so I need to do things that I am happy with. It's not about being the number one heroine or money. It's about doing roles that I enjoy. My biggest ambition is happiness. ~ Sonam Kapoor

Although it is uncomfortable to admit it, and many scientists especially try to brush it under the carpet, each of us is a bundle of rational and irrational impulses, and the attempt to divorce the two is doomed to failure...In this sense the Presocratic combination of vision and logic is a precise model for two strands of future development in human intellectual endeavor, which should not perhaps have been allowed to separate from each other as far as they sometimes have. Or rather, the attempt to separate them is ultimately unreal, a violation which leads to abominations such as the rape of the planet and the dehumanizing loss of imagination...As Homer well knew, the gods in some disguise or other never die. ~ Robin Waterfield

Because she wanted him more than she wanted him to be happy. ~ Rainbow Rowell

Not really," said Shadow. "But I'm not dead yet." "Huh?" "Call no man happy until he is dead. Herodotus." Mr. Nancy raised a white eyebrow, and he said, "I'm not dead yet, and, mostly because I'm not dead yet, I'm happy as a clamboy." "The Herodotus thing. It doesn't mean that the dead are happy," said Shadow. "It means that you can't judge the shape of someone's life until it's over and done. ~ Neil Gaiman

I desperately need the love of complete strangers. That's one reason I overtip. I love when skycaps, waiters, and valets are happy to see me. ~ Aaron Sorkin

Remember, someone, somewhere in some corner of this somewhat big world, is out there crying if you're unhappy and is happy if you are! And you know who that someone is! ~ Faraaz Kazi

There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story. ~ Frank Herbert

I've been sober for two-and-a-half years, My children are happy. In August, my wife and I will celebrate our fifteenth wedding anniversary. My band is back together with a sold-out tour. ~ Trey Anastasio

If our life has no meaning other than our own happiness, we are likely to find that when we have obtained what we think we need to be happy, happiness itself still eludes us. ~ Peter Singer

I'm the last person to tell you that you need a guy to make you happy. But if you're not moving on because you're afraid you'll hurt David, maybe you need to remember that you're hurting Tamani by not moving on, and you might be hurting David by not letting him move on. If
and I'm not saying you should choose him, but if
you really love Tamani, and you keep putting him off because of David, by the time you're finally ready to be with him, you may find that he's moved on. That's all I'm going to say ... ~ Aprilynne Pike

We cannot expect to be happy always ... by experiencing evil as well as good we become wise. ~ Hans Christian Andersen

It's frightening enough with a male actor and not a stunt person. If you accidently punch him with the wrong hand, then you've cost them a week's work and they've got a black eye or a lot of money goes on CG to get rid of it. That was nerve wracking, but it was very civilized. Women tend to immediately take responsibility if somebody messes up with both of us saying it's our fault. Men are quite happy for it to be your fault it seems like. ~ Kate Beckinsale

I have hair that drifts like seaweed when I swim. I have eyes that shine like rock pools. My ears are like scallop shells. The ripples on my skin are like the ripples on the sand when the tide has turned back again. At night I gleam and glow like sea beneath the stars and moon. Thoughts dart and dance inside like little minnows in the shallows. They race and flash like mackerel farther out. My wonderings roll in the deep like sails. Dreams dive each night into the dark like dolphins do and break out happy and free into the morning light. These are the things I know about myself and that I see when I look in the rock pools at myself. ~ David Almond

I'm happy every day. ~ Bruce Willis

My Happily Ever After was a strand of strung-together happy-for-nows, extending back not to just a year ago, but to thirty years before. ~ Emily Henry

Good morning on the 7th of July.
while still in bed my thoughts turn towards you my Immortal Beloved, now and then happy, then sad again, waiting whether Fate might answer us. – I can only live either wholly with you or not at all, yes, I have resolved to stray about far away until I can fly into your arms, and feel at home with you, and send my soul embraced by you into the realm of the Spirits. – Yes, unfortunately it must be. – You will compose yourself, all the more since you know my faithfulness to you, never can another own my heart, never – never. – Oh God why do I have to separate from someone whom I love so much, and yet my life in V[ienna] as it is now is a miserable life. – Your love makes me at once most happy and most unhappy. – At my age, I would now need some conformity regularity in my life – can this exist in our relationship? – Angel, I just learned that the post goes every day – and I must therefore conclude so that you get the l[etter] straightway – be patient, only through quiet contemplation of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together – be calm – love me – today – yesterday. – What yearning with tears for you – you – you – my life – my everything – farewell – oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your Beloved
L.
Forever thine
forever mine
forever us. ~ Ludwig Van Beethoven

I have no name: I am but two days old. What shall I call thee? I happy am, Joy is my name. Sweet joy befall thee! ~ William Blake

The search for myself is ended. I am buried in the world, I knew I would find my place there one day, the old world cloisters me, victorious. I am happy, I knew I would be happy one day. But I am not wise. For the wise thing now would be to let go, at this instant of happiness. And what do I do? I go back again to the light, to the fields I so longed to love, to the sky all astir with little white clouds as white and light as snowflakes, to the life I could never manage, through my own fault perhaps, through pride, or pettiness, but I don't think so. ~ Samuel Beckett

I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times. ~ Kate Clinton

As she read, at peace with the world and happy as only a little girl could be with a fine book and a little bowl of candy, and all alone in the house, the leaf shadows shifted and the afternoon passed. ~ Betty Smith

If I could climax as many times as a Derek Dingle routine I would be a happy man! ~ Dai Vernon

It has long been a tradition among novel writers that a book must end by everybody getting just what they wanted, or if the conventional happy ending was impossible, then it must be a tragedy in which one or both should die. In real life very few of us get what we want, our tragedies don't kill us, but we go on living them year after year, carrying them with us like a scar on an old wound. ~ Willa Cather

When you smile and project an aura of warmth, kindness, and friendliness, you will attract warms, kindness, and friendliness. Happy people will be drawn to you. ~ Joel Osteen

When you're so happy that you have to close your eyes when you smile so that your eyes don't jump out of your head ~ Tori Kelly

A woman claims as many native lands as she had happy love affairs, Likewise, she is born under every sky where she recovers from the pain of loving. ~ Colette

There is an old saying that every story, even your own, is either happy or sad depending on where you stop telling it. I believe I'll stop telling this one here. ~ Wiley Cash

In ancient times, people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much a thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half. ~ Haruki Murakami