Dude Quotes

Dude, you didn't fugue, you were just berserk. That's like comparing a lunatic to a pissed guy with goals. ~ Chris Onstad

I'm as awkward as it gets, dude, but I embrace the awkward! I embrace the awkward and make everyone else feel awkward ~ Christofer Drew

Michael: 'Hey, remember when I almost didn't let you into the house that first day you came?'
Claire: 'Yep'
Michael: 'Well, I was dead wrong. Maybe I never said that out loud before, but I mean it, Claire. All that's happened since ... we wouldn't have made it. Not me, not Shane, not Eve. Not without you.'
Claire: 'It's not me. It's not! It's us, that's all. We're just better together. We ... take care of each other.'
Shane: 'Stop vamping up my girl, man. She needs coffee.'
Michael: 'Don't we all. Vamping up your girl? Dude. That's low.'
Shane: 'Digging for China. Come on. ~ Rachel Caine

He looks at the bathtub,
where I'm lounging like Cleo-fuck-ing-patra.
He looks at the bubbles surrounding my body
like a fluffy white clod. And then he looks at Winston.
"Dude," I blurt out. "It's not what it looks like!"
"Nope, nope, nope, I don't want to know!"
Snatches his pants off the rack. Continues backing away.
His eyes again focus on the pink dildo two inches from my hand.
I try again. "I promise you, it's not --"
"I don't want to know. ~ Elle Kennedy

The horses forced into the chuckwagon races die of heart attacks, broken necks, broken legs, and other injuries. It'd be easy to get off on western tradition without this bloody spectacle. Dude, it's the Old West, not ancient Rome! ~ Tommy Lee

If you look at UFC champions: BJ Penn - terrifying! GSP - terrifying! Anderson Silva - terrifying! But I'm not terrifying. I am not the super-submission guy, I am not the one-punch KO guy, so I am not the most feared guy in the worldBut I will not quit, I will not break and I will fight you like a dog for every second of every round. I am not a super-talented guy, I'm just a dude who will fight you tooth and nail. ~ Forrest Griffin

Dude...you were together. Night and day for four years, so what was wasted exactly. ~ Kahlen Aymes

Dude, this isn't cool
Dude just tried to eat my dude
That's my dead dude, dude ~ Rick Riordan

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree. ~ Mitch Hedberg

Dude! said a party pony as he unloaded his gear. Did you see that bear guy? He was all like: 'Whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth! ~ Rick Riordan

Nick gave a sharp nod. "Fair point". Rising, he stepped toward the desk and stole a chip off Marz's plate.
"Dude," Marz said, holding out his hands, "get your own crunchy goodness. ~ Laura Kaye

Dude, I just watched you climb up a f*cking building!-Lace ~ Scott Westerfeld

I'm still that rowdy dude who has after-parties in his dressing room with a concert-sized PA system blasting away. ~ Tommy Lee

I feel like a lot of people in the hip hop world don't take me seriously as a rapper, and I feel that first-and-foremost I came up as a rapper before I started singing. All a lot of people know from me is 'Cupid's Chokehold,' and they don't scratch the surface and see beyond that dude who sings the song about his girlfriend. ~ Travie McCoy

Trust me: all of us walk around and look at each other, and without saying it, we all know we're thinking, 'Really dude? Were still here!' and pinch ourselves. Typically, careers have short life span, 10 years if you're lucky, so what we've done is amazing. ~ Tommy Lee

There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People
they'r e kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.' My love goes with you. ~ Robin Williams

Dude. Hot Bozo. Best nickname ever. ~ Cynthia Hand

I feel like I'm a New Yorker because I really know the city. I actually tell the drivers where to go - I have this bad habit, I always question the drivers. I do that all the time because I feel like I know the best way, when really it's like, 'Yo, man, shut up. This dude does this every day of his life.' ~ J. Cole

Percy hefted a bronze grenade. 'I hope you labelled these right.'
He yelled, 'Die, Romans!' and lobbed the grenade over the wall. ~ Rick Riordan

Hmmm. Odd. Okay." He took Nick's hand.
Nick pulled back. "Dude, don't touch me."
"Why not?"
Why not? Really? He had to explain stranger-danger and personal space? Where did this guy live that he didn't understand grabbing another dude's body parts without an invitation was a first class ticket to a major butt-whipping event.
"Look, I don't know you, and we're not dating. So keep your hands off me."
Again with the annoyed noise. "Then how can I lead you if I can't touch you when you can't see?"
"How 'bout you don't lead me anywhere?" Nick was beginning to like the darkness. Unlike Asmodeus, it was quiet and rather peaceful. And it definitely didn't give him a headache.
"But you said you couldn't see."
Nick was aghast at the way this guy's mind worked. "That doesn't mean you can touch me."
"I'm so confused. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

A big glowing red dude with the head of a wolf guarded a herd of ... Were those unicorns? ~ Rick Riordan

I'm like a dude. Jordans are my favorite. I wear them all the time for shows. I can get girly-girly when I want to, but I can't perform in heels. I would bust my face open on stage, and we don't want that. ~ Rita Ora

That's why I get mad when I watch this show," he says. "It's simple, dude. Everything is way too simple. ~ Jason Myers

I got a brother who calls me Hollywood. Sisters kind of keep their distance. Even my mom is kind of like ahhh with me. Yeah dude, it really sucks. And I wish things were different. Unfortunately, they don't understand everything I go through on a day to day basis to be able to maintain what I'm doing. ~ Gabriel Iglesias

I used to stalk this dude I went to high school with. I would close up the bread shop where I worked, take one of the loaves that was intended for donation to the soup kitchen, then drive my car to his parents' house and park close enough to see inside, but far enough away to be inconspicuous. Then I would sit there with the engine running, tearing off chunks of apple-cinnamon bread and listening to De La Soul while imagining our life together.
I am a deeply troubled person ~ Samantha Irby

It's about this girl who meets this mega mysterious guy and they totally dig each other - Only he's not really a guy, he's a dragon and he's been cursed to live as a human by this evil dragon-dude, who also wants her. And then they totally do it. ~ Ananth Hirsh And Yuko Ota

It a dude and a girl, and the house and wooo scary things happen and then they kill everything. ~ Ilona Andrews

You can't help yourself, can you? You think the only thing to do with a parade is rain on it. Some people know to enjoy the parade because, dude, the rain always comes back. ~ Karen Marie Moning

Are you trying to protect me?" I asked, starting to get slightly pissed. "Dude. Knock it off. You're not my knight in shining armor. You're a dick in dented tin. ~ T.J. Klune

How come you're in such a good mood? You couldn't have gotten much more sleep than I did last night. Are you a morning person?" I ask in mock horror."A mornin' person, well maybe, but let's just say I got to experience the nicest parts of hell last night," he says quietly,taking the shirt I offer him. As he rises out of thebed, I can't help looking over his perfect abdomen and chest before he shrugs into his shirt."I'm sorry, the nicest parts of hell? What does that mean?" I ask."Red, yer not a guy, so there's no point explainin', ~ Amy A. Bartol

Whatever the hell was going on with this guy, he reminded Harley of a rat. Harley hated rats. It made him want to whack the dude in the face with a bat. ~ Amy Cook

You want to walk into that funeral and have every dude in that room whip their head around and say, 'God-damn them is some fine-ass titties. I got to find me a divorce lawyer in the next five minutes. ~ David Wong

You think you're going to chain me to a wall then stand here and tell me why it's okay that I am the way I am? That because of all the crap folks put me through when I was young it's all right that I turned out like this?
Dude, I don't have a problem with how I turned out. I like me. ~ Karen Marie Moning

You look so out of your element. (Savitar)
I am out of my element. Much like you in a Seattle Goth club. (Acheron)
I'm never out of my element, Atlantean. And it must be dire indeed to get you in shorties, and on a board. One day I'm actually going to get you to say 'Rad four-mill steamer, dude! (Savitar) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Australians and New Zealanders don't talk about Gallipoli in terms of invasion. I started talking about it and using that word and at first there were a few people who were getting upset in the same way that in any country, if you work for a newspaper you know exactly the dude you can go and talk to get a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to something to do with the military. ~ Russell Crowe

Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies. ~ J. B. Smoove

Basically, every band that makes it has some dude with some sense of business. I don't know if our band would've been so successful were it not for Daniel's [Kessler] insight into how things really work. Daniel was the one who was diligently saying, "We should make a demo, send it out, play shows but not too many shows, get on shows with touring bands that are coming to New York." ~ Paul Banks

Maverick texted her throughout the day making sure she was okay, and who knew that the word fuck could sound so sweet? I'm fucking worried about you. He'll fucking pay if he hurts you. IS IT 5OFUCKINGCLOCK YET? That one came complete with a winky face.And when a big tough biker dude sent you shouty caps and a winky face, it could make you smile. ~ Laura Kaye

Dude… my money is on Callie. I think her sunshine is going to banish your thunderstorm in like a nanosecond. ~ Sawyer Bennett

I wring my hands because I know that as a dude, my privilege, my long-term deficiencies work against me in writing women, no matter how hard I try and how talented I am. ~ Junot Diaz

This is my friend Veronica," I told him. "And this is Kaidan."
"Oh, I've heard all about you." Veronica gave him a big smile.
His brow elevated, but he didn't take the bait. Instead, he stared at me funny. "Nice wart." Leaning forward without touching me, he flicked the wart from the tip of my nose.
Veronica let out a loud cackle, proving she should be the one in my costume.
"I told you it was stupid!" She gloated.
With my pointer finger, I moved the paint around my nose to fill in the blank spot. When I finished, he was still watching me.
"Your hair's grown a lot," I said to him.
"So has your bottom."
My eyes rounded and blood rushed to my face. Veronica hooted with hilarity, bending at the waist. Even Jay let out a loud snicker, the traitor.
I wished Kaidan weren't so perceptive, but it was true. The feminine curves that had always eluded me were finally making an appearance. Stupid tight dress.
"Dude, you can get away with anything," said the pirate to the straight-faced ape.
"I meant it as a compliment."
"That was awesome." Veronica grabbed Jay by the hand. "Come on. Let's go find me a drink."
She winked at me as they ambled away. I gave my attention to the dry, trampled grass and scattered cans for a moment before working up the nerve to say something.
"My dad gave me a cell phone." And a car. And a ton of money.
Kaidan set the ape head on the ground and pulled his phone from a fuzzy pocket, blowi ~ Wendy Higgins

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president ... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.' ~ Jon Stewart

Can I get a fork?; There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there ARE no utensils AT Medieval Times- would you like a refill on your Pepsi? ;So there were no utensils but there was Pepsi?; Dude, I got a lot of tables to wait ~ Matthew Broderick

The dude who didn't seem to care that he smelled like wide-open ass. ~ J.R. Rain

I found her standing on tiptoes, scanning a shelf that was indeed next to a painting of a dude on a horse. I thought he looked awfully irritated for a guy in such a spiffy ermine cape. ~ Rachel Hawkins

Dude, it's not like you tied me to the bed and forced yourself on me. I don't know if you remember, but I came like a motherfucker that night." Aw shit. I don't know why I said that. And the flash of heat that travels down to my dick is equally perplexing. Thinking about that night is something I rarely let myself do. It was easily the hottest sexual experience eighteen-year-old Jamie Canning had ever had. But remembering it always confuses me, because I associate it with getting banished from the friendship I valued most. ~ Sarina Bowen

Art as activism. Like Banksy?"
"Man, Banksy's some white-ass bullshit. Sorry," he apologizes hastily, as though he might've offended my white-ass feelings.
[...]
"A'ight, so the dude flew out to Gaza to spray-paint a kitten on a house that'd been destroyed in an air strike. Like, the fuck? Talk about insensitive. Then our white savior has the audacity to call it art, to demand folks listen to his views on the atrocities of war, rather than the Palestinians who lived through it." He shakes his head, his hand tensing and untensing in mine. "Sorry. Shit drives me crazy sometimes. ~ Laura Steven

When I was younger I was strictly meat-and-potatoes and I just wouldn't try things. As I have gotten older, I'm much more adventurous but still not like whoever that dude is on whatever show it is who just goes around and eats bugs everywhere. ~ Paul F. Tompkins

What do you want me to call them? Shits and Giggles? Fists and Kneecap? Nah, I don't like that one. Hammer and Nails? Dude, these kids are hard-core gangster. They need kick-A names, not that blah, blah sh-crap you gave them. - William ~ Gena Showalter

You're the healing janitor dude."
"Groundskeeper."
"Isn't that like a janitor?"
"No, it's like a groundskeeper. ~ Rachel Hawkins

When I'm doing a film, I love getting together after work with my costars. But we get back to L.A. and I'm like, 'I don't want to go to a club with you, dude. I mean, I think you're rad, and if you want to come play Scrabble with me, that's amazing.' ~ Ginnifer Goodwin

Who's the guy?" Ty interrupted my thoughts. "The blond dude with the mini me on top of him. He wants in your pants. I don't think I like it. ~ Claudia Y. Burgoa

I don't have any concerns about my weight. I've always been healthy. I eat right. I'm just a big dude. I've always been happy with the person I am. So that will never change. ~ Ruben Studdard

I wish the camera could smell my armpits. Dude, mine smell good. ~ Ryan Ross

Stick to the key of C, dude. No sharps or flats. More forgiving. ~ Jeff Zentner

Dude, now you're flirting?
Even to my own ears, my comment sounds suggestive. The sad thing is, it was meant that way. There are literally a dozen things I'd love for her to do for me. Or to me. Or let me do to her. -Nash ~ M. Leighton

Dude, he's Australian...not a pirate. ~ S.C. Stephens

I'm probably sterile. At least I can stop worrying about getting girls pregnant (if I ever get to have sex with them). Do you still get horny if your nuts are broken? My eyes open, and I find Andre standing over me, saying, "I felt your nads through my helmet!" I stop writhing for a second to give him props. "That's gold, dude! ~ Brent Crawford

I love the role I'm playing in 'Conan.' I'm enjoying making the film tremendously. It's very physically demanding. You know, Conan is 28 years younger than me and a big dude, so I have to depend upon my wolf-like wiles to defeat this young bull. ~ Stephen Lang

Self-pity is wasted emotion. It merely prolongs whatever trauma you suffered by keeping it alive in your head. Dude, you survived it. Move on. ~ Karen Marie Moning

Was walking home alone from school and I was wearing a dress. A dude drove by and yelled, "Nice tits." Embarrassed and enraged, I screamed after him, "Suck my dick." Sure, it didn't make any sense, but at least I didn't hold in my anger. ~ Tina Fey

No. I'm not buying a shirt."
I could buy you a shirt."
I don't need you to buy me a shirt."
Mercedes pulled him over to the nice GQ-dude who worked the department. "Tell him he needs a new shirt."
I don't need a new shirt."
Sir, you need a new shirt. ~ Kathleen O'Reilly

When I was a kid, I didn't have any girlfriends. I was a very nerdy-type dude. Believe me, being a ham does not turn girls on. ~ Terry Crews

She'd been on the hunt for some badass dude who'd go down with her into whatever dark place she was trapped in, but instead she'd ended up with this lame-ass coward, a guy who's too fucked up to tell her to get lost, but also too scared to do what he said he would do. ~ Kristen Roupenian

So anyway, chica, this David Gandy dude ... is he hot?"
"Oh, so totally and completely hot." I nod enthusiastically.
"Uhum," Jake clears his throat loudly.
"But not as hot as you, baby."
"Damn straight," Jake mutters. ~ Samantha Towle

She needed a break." "A break? She needed a break? What does that mean?" "You know what that means, Charlie." "I do?" Charlie thought a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on! Again?""You know how she is. But hey! At least she's still in Switzerland. We'll get there in no time." "But it's a mental hospital! Not a resort!""To her, all mental hospitals are resorts. Besides, it could be worse," Max said happily. "This could all be so much worse!" Charlie shook her head . "Dude, I seriously don't know how. ~ Shelly Laurenston

Dude," I said, leaning over the desk, "I'm about as psychic as a carrot. ~ Darynda Jones

I will always love the Clash, because I loved them so much when I was fourteen, and I love how you can start a conversation with almost literally any dude about the Clash. ~ Rob Sheffield

My apologies, see, I forgot my manners.
I get on the mic 'cause it's my life. You show off for girls and cameras.
You a pop star, not a rapper. A Vanilla Ice or a Hammer.
Y'all hear this crap he dumping out? Somebody get him a Pamper.
And a crown for me. The best have heard about me.
You can only spell "brilliant" by first spelling Bri.
You see, naturally, I do my shit with perfection.
Better call a bodyguard 'cause you gon' need some protection,
And on this here election, the people crown a new leader.
You didn't see this coming, and your ghostwriters didn't either.
I came here to ether. I'm sorry to do this to you.
This is no longer a battle, it's your funeral, boo. I'm murdering you.
On my corner they call me coroner, I'm warning ya.
Tell the truth, this dude is borin' ya.
You confused like a foreigner. I'll explain with ease:
You're just a casualty in the reality of the madness of Bri.
No fallacies, I spit maladies, causin' fatalities,
And do it casually, damaging rappers without bandaging.
Imagining managing my own label, my own salary.
And actually, factually, there's no MC that's as bad as me.
Milez? That's cute. But it don't make me cower.
I move at light speed, you stuck at per hour.
You spit like a lisp. I spit like a high power.
Bri's the future, and you Today like Matt Lauer.
You coward. But you're a G? It ain't convincing to me.
You talk ab ~ Angie Thomas

I happen to be a fantastic kisser. Sadly, you will never get to find out."
"Never say never," he answers in a singsong voice.
"Thanks for that, Justin Bieber. But yeah, not going to happen, dude. ~ Elle Kennedy

Dude," he said instead, "I'm flattered as hell." And then he kicked my foot, lightly, twice. He was smiling.
He couldn't see the chasm that had opened behind my ribs. ~ Kenneth Logan

Strider: "Pull Over," he commanded.
"What?" William flicked him a now's-not-the-time-to-joke glance. "We just got a little peace and quiet and you want to ruin it all just to piss? You're such a baby."
"Red Hots, dude." He'd ruin ANYTHING for a mouthful of those. "Now pull the fuck over."
"Oh, Gummy Bears. You should have said so. ~ Gena Showalter

Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up their
projects."
Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. "No way, dude," I say. "I'm the man in this relationship."
"Oh yeah, absolutely," he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fake
electronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they're staring straight
into my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it's a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry.
"Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. You could've told me I knocked you up. ~ Miranda Kenneally

Dude, what is it with you and zoms? ~ Jonathan Maberry

My father's family came from Virginia and Philadelphia. He wasn't a brother who talked a lot. He was a workingman, a quiet, blue-collar dude. ~ Ice-T

Dude, if you're going to patch into the Sons you're going to have to deal with a lot more scarier things than my breast milk ~ Anne Malcom

Dude, we gotta work on your material. Hell, all you need is a little black moustache to twirl and go 'Muahahahaha' while you're at it. ~ Tessa McFionn

I am a dark-skinned, nappy-headed, scar-faced dude from the streets of Brooklyn. I can't hide from being who I am. It's all over my face. ~ Michael K. Williams

I don't feel that America has a black dude right now. I'm that dude. ~ Tone Bell

Man's brain, enlarged fortuitously, invented words in an ambitious effort to learn how to think, only to have them usurped by his emotions. But we still try.
Nero Wolf in Death of a Dude. ~ Rex Stout

I attract a different kind of boy when my hair's red. I get more quality men - like a more thoughtful, nerdy dude. ~ Kirsten Dunst

Brad Pitt is a dude who just wants to make good movies. He's not afraid to surround himself with the greatest actors, which I always appreciate because I've also seen actors who only want to surround themselves with weak actors because it makes them look better. That ends up making a poorer movie. ~ Garret Dillahunt

On my mom's side I'm Mexican, and my dad is a white dude. ~ Tyler Posey

44. Abidement Bullshit money or basic freedoms: which is dearer? Contentment or competition: which is more valuable? Compensation or employment: which is more painful? Great coitus incurs great expense, And great wealth incurs fucking phoniness, But great abidement incurs no loss. Therefore: He who knows when to take it easy Can't be worried about that shit, And may long endure ups and downs, strikes and gutters. Tao Te Ching: 44. Contentment Fame or Self: which is dearer? Self or wealth: which is more valuable? Profit or loss: which is more painful? Great love incurs great expense, And great wealth incurs great theft, But great contentment incurs no loss. Therefore: He who knows when to stop Does not continue into danger, And may long endure. ~ The Church Of The Latter-Day Dude

For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and say to them in all sincerity, "You build and do not destroy; you sow goodwill and reap it; smiles bloom in the wake of your passing, and I will keep your kindness in trust and share it as occasion arises, so that your life will be a quenching draught of calm in a land of drought and stress." Too often I never get to say that when it should be said. Instead, I leave them with the equivalent of a "Later, dude!" only to discover there would be no later for us. ~ Kevin Hearne

Be a hero, Simon," Simon muttered bitterly, remembering the life Magnus Bane had dangled before him in their first meeting - or at least, the first one Simon could remember. "Have an adventure, Simon. How about, turn your life into one long agonizing gym class, Simon."
"Dude, you're talking to yourself again. ~ Cassandra Clare

The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out! ~ Donnell Rawlings

Ray shook his head. "That is one weird little dude. ~ Amanda Carlson

Dude. Message understood. But you call me Your Highness again, and I'll kick your ass. ~ Alyssa Day

Dude, want to give me a little room here?" "No. I like being close to you." Detective Johnson ran one long finger slowly down Day's chest. "Well fuckin' unlike it." They both jumped at the sound of God's gruff voice. God ~ A.E. Via

Yes, Jason Grace." Favonius arched an eyebrow. "I fell in love with a dude. Does that shock you? ~ Rick Riordan

Dude is that was a Shakespeare quote duel, he just kicked your ass. Oberon
I know, but I slipped in some T.S.Eliot and he didn't even catch it. Hopefully next time I wont be recovering from an assassination attempt, and then I'll do better. - Atticus ~ Kevin Hearne

Seriously, though. You're probably right. I'm sure Kelly finds the sight of a scrawny, pasty, white dude flopping around in the water like a spastic salmon very hot.' Coop convulses his whole body, his arms flailing, his tongue waggling. ~ Don Calame

The problem today is that there are no deserts, only dude ranches. ~ Thomas Merton

At Camp Half-Blood. The Hades cabin needs a head counsellor. Have you seen the decor? It's disgusting. I'll have to renovate. And someone needs to do the burial rites properly, since demigods insist on dying heroically.'
'That's – that's fantastic! Dude!' Jason opened his arms for a hug, then froze. 'Right. No touching. Sorry.'
Nico grunted. 'I suppose we can make an exception.' Jason squeezed him so hard Nico thought his ribs would crack. ~ Rick Riordan

Oh! What thing? A thing with Daemon, and if you say yes, please tell me that thing starts with an s and ends with an x." I opened my eyes and frowned. "Geez, you're worse than a dude. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Yeah," he grount out. "I nailed her."
"Where?" Luc always wanted the dirty details.
"Stockroom. Pay up."
Luc snorted and reached for his wallet. "I really got taken on this one , didn't I?" He handed over four hundreds and five twenties.
"Yeah, well, you can have the last laugh once the Sem brothers catch up with me. Seems she's their sister."
"Dude." Luc streched out the word and then whistled, low and long. "Nice knowing you. So, will it at least have been worth it? Being gutted by Shade, I mean. Was she good ?"
His body heated as though remembering. And wanting again.
"Of course I was."
Fuck. Con spun around to find Sin standing there, hands on hips and fury in her expression. Like a kid caught stealing candy, he whipped the money behind his back. She looked at him as if he was an idiot and grabbed his arm, briging it around.
"It's not what you think," he said lamely, because it was exactly what she thought.
"Really? So that big asshole behind you didn't bet you five hundred bucks that you couldn't fuck me ?"
"Ah..."
"That's what I thought. You dick. How stupid do you think I am ? Your name really fits you , Con." She snatched the money from him, took two hundreds and three twenties, and thrust the remaining two hundred and forty dollars back into his hand. Then, smiling broadly, she punched him in the shoulder. "Next time you make a bet like that, don't cheat me out of my half. I owe you a ten."
She winked ~ Larissa Ione

Leave it to a dude to roll in with your technique, but use a jackhammer instead of jeweler's screwdrivers. ~ Roberto Hogue

There's been times where I sold the place out, and I walked in and the guy's like, 'Uh, ID?' 'No, you can't ID me, man. I just sold this place out.' People are just doing their jobs, but I think if you're working the door at a venue where there's a headliner, you should at least be like, 'OK, this is the dude.' ~ Hannibal Buress

Future's Pluto is my favorite album of the year. It's so emo. Future is the number one dude I'd love to produce for - every time I listen to the song he did with Rihanna, "Loveeeeeee Song", I'm like, "I should have produced that." ~ Ryan Hemsworth