Leadership Humor Quotes

Always drink upstream from the herd. ~ Will Rogers

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. ~ Shane Kuhn

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

An enormous smile covers her face, and she throws her little kid arms around my neck. The sensation strikes something inside of me. Something I haven't felt in a very long time. Like a warm fuzzy or some shit. ~ Victoria Scott

Mom calls me Patch-a-roo and Patch-a-roo-ny. She usually croons these names to me or crows them as if she's imitating the rooster. I know this is a little odd, but I'm a really special dog. Of course, sometimes she calls me Stink-a-roo. ~ Lea Beall

The Dallas Times Herald ran a cartoon mocking the [Reagan] administration's position. "We don't oppose the extension of the Voting Rights Act ... but we think the test of discrimination should be intent not effect," a fictional Smith said at a press conference. "Won't that cripple enforcement of the Act?" a reporter asked. "That is not our intent," Smith responded. ~ Ari Berman

This book proves that a godly attitude lies at the heart of Christian leadership. It does not borrow principles of leadership from the world and apply them to the church, but rather derives principles of leadership directly from the Scriptures. ~ J. Oswald Sanders

If she herself had had any picture of the future, it had been of a society of animals set free from hunger and the whip, all equal, each working according to his capacity, the strong protecting the weak, as she had protected the lost brood of ducklings with her foreleg on the night of Major's speech. Instead–she did not know why–they had come to a time when no one dared speak his mind, when fierce, growling dogs roamed everywhere, and when you had to watch your comrades torn to pieces after confessing to shocking crimes. There was no thought of rebellion or disobedience in her mind. She knew that, even as things were, they were far better off than they had been in the days of Jones, and that before all else it was needful to prevent the return of the human beings. Whatever happened she would remain faithful, work hard, carry out the orders that were given to her, and accept the leadership of Napoleon. But still, it was not for this that she and all the other animals had hoped and toiled. It was not for this that they had built the windmill and faced the bullets of Jones's gun. Such were her thoughts, though she lacked the words to express them.
At last, feeling this to be in some way a substitute for the words she was unable to find, she began to sing Beasts of England. The other animals sitting round her took it up, and they sang it three times over–very tunefully, but slowly and mournfully, in a way they had never sung it before. ~ George Orwell

Where there is an absence of international political leadership, civil society should step in to fill the gap, providing the energy and vision needed to move the world in a new and better direction. ~ Daisaku Ikeda

Humor is a second wind. ~ Marty Rubin

I knew that Sundays in England aren't just ordinary dull Sundays, the same the world over, which demand that one simply tiptoe through without disturbing them or paying them the least attention, they are vaster and slower and more burdensome than anywhere else I know. ~ Javier Marias

Leadership: Lions led by donkeys. ~ Erich Ludendorff

Before we go, I gotta know: If mind-reading abilities are real, there's something else I wondered if fiction got right about vampires-"
"Ask me if I sparkle and I'll kill you where you stand," Bones cut him off with utmost seriousness. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Murdering anything is just plain criminal, but a Southerner murdering a magnolia? Well, that's an unforgivable sacrilege against nautre and the South. ~ Beth Hoffman

Don't trust the heart, it wants your blood. ~ Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

If that kind of poetry doesn't make your bosom heave then I fear we shall never be friends. ~ Stephen Fry

The minister is the parish clock. Many people take their time from him. ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Way to defuse a situation. It's tough to enjoy a good bloodbath in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation. ~ Nina Bangs

Here's a memonic device that I feel teaches how we can properly cope with failure. Forget about your failures; don't dwell on past mistakes Anticipate failure; realize that we all make mistakes. Intensity in everything you do; never be a failure for lack of effort. Learn from your mistakes; don't repeat previous errors. Understand why you failed; diagnose your mistakes so as to not repeat them. Respond, don't react to errors; responding corrects mistakes while reacting magnifies them. Elevate your self-concept. It's OK to fail, everyone does; now how are you going to deal with the failure ~ Steve Largent

You'll fail, but try anyways, that's how everything began. ~ Saroj Aryal

Do not share your thoughts with people who think that what you are thinking is not worth thinking. ~ Michael Bassey Johnson

... People who are the spices of this world are the natural souls with instincts and impulses that have not been pruned by evolution and civilization. ~ Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Write with your heart, not your head. Brains tend to ooze out of your ears and nose when things get intense. Then you're a mess. ~ Lori Lesko

An empty skull is the vanitas symbol of modern education. ~ Bauvard

The house of Lords must be the only institution in the world which is kept efficient by the persistent absenteeism of most of its members. ~ Herbert Samuel, 1st Viscount Samuel

Some women run with wolves, but the majority would be much happier with your basic lap dog. ~ Paula Wall

Nnaka my son, our elders say, when a kid washes his hands clean, he becomes fit to dine with the elders. Our hearts are filled with indescribable joy and we can rub our belly with delight, so much so that we should give you the largest farmland and the most beautiful bride in the community but alas, we can only do so much. Nonetheless, the crack on the buttocks has not diminished its functions and we shall not disappoint you. ~ Sinachi Ukpabi

West," said Coach Jericho.
"That's me," said Will, raising his hand slightly.
"That's him," said Nick, pointing.
"That's helpful," said Jericho. ~ Mark Frost

Openness by the leader paves the way for ownership by the people. Without ownership, changes will be short term. Changing people's habits and ways of thinking is like writing instructions in the snow during a snowstorm. Every twenty minutes the instructions must be rewritten, unless ownership is given along with instructions. ~ John C. Maxwell

An English gentleman never shines his shoes, but then nor does a lazy bastard. ~ Will Self

Britt's frequent romances always took off like rockets propelled by promise and power and star-crossed destiny. Then, a few months in, they all fizzled like a Tesla fifty miles from the nearest charging station. ~ Becky Wade

And while the Council generally tolerates murder, it finds murder for hire distasteful. ~ Molly Harper

Judge Walter Henderson, better known as Hatchet Henderson, is a large, imposing hulk of a man who stays in shape by adhering to a no-carbohydrate, no-fat, all-lawyer diet. Open and Shut, 2003 ~ David Rosenfelt

The children were overwhelmingly morbid. Not a single adult asked me where butterflies go when they die, but this question was more popular than pixie sticks with the under-four-foot set. I cursed parents for not preparing their children. When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the Easter Bunny didn't exist, Elijah was God's invisible friend, with any luck Nana would die soon, and if I ever saw a unicorn, I should kill it or catch it for cash. I turned out okay. ~ Sloane Crosley

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse ~ Bill Watterson

People with disabilities are sometimes very humble and approachable, if you want a seasoned reputation, then behave like one of the handicaps. ~ Michael Bassey Johnson

Great teachers have high expectations for their students, but even higher expectations for themselves. ~ Todd Whitaker