Funny 3 Quotes

Next time I will do things to you that will make you lose controll in seconds
-Dimitri. ~ Richelle Mead

That's my fun time so, to me, doing my homework, studying on what I do, watching the movies, listening to music, all that inspires me so I focus a lot on that and practice. ~ Christina Milian

If she rented the studio in town, I'd probably never see either of my parents again. Well, except for dinner. They usually showed up for food ~ Maggie Stiefvater

At each of these northern posts there were interesting experiences in store for me, as one who had read all the books of northern travel and dreamed for half a lifetime of the north; and that was - almost daily meeting with famous men. ~ Ernest Thompson Seton

People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy. ~ Eugene Mirman

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country. ~ Clint Eastwood

I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building.
Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family. ~ Jim Benton

Eve returned to her lip-gloss application. "Biology. Ms Whittier," she said, not bothering to look at Luke.
"Cool. Me too. Can I borrow that?" He reached around her and plucked her lip glaze out of her fingers. She still held the wand.
He held out his hand for it.
"What? No," Eve said.
"Come on, it's my first day. I want to make a good impression. And clearly biology can't be understood without lipstick," Luke joked.
"Funny." Eve grabbed the lip glaze back. "This stuff is really good for you."
Luke raised his eyebrows. They disappeared into his floppy blond hair. He didn't have expressive dark brows like Mal.
"It has green tea antioxidants," Eve continued. "And macadamia extract and aloe vera for healing."
"Oh. That's different then," Luke said. "Carry on. ~ Amy Meredith

She rolled over and sat up as he bent, tearing off his boots. "Whatcha doing?"
"Getting naked."
"I like that. ~ Laurann Dohner

It's not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage. I feel more like I'm doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name. ~ Bo Burnham

America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold. ~ Bob Hope

Life's a joke, so laugh while it's still funny. ~ Imkje Dongelmans

He followed her into the bathroom and sat on the shut toilet seat while she washed her back with a brush. "I forgot to tell you," he said. "Liza sent us a wheel of Brie." "That's nice," she said, "but you know what? Brie gives me terribly loose bowels." He hitched up his genitals and crossed his legs. "That's funny," he said. "It constipates me." That was their marriage then
not the highest paving of the stair, the clatter of Italian fountains, the wind in the alien olive trees, but this: a jay-naked male and female discussing their bowels. ~ John Cheever

There are two kinds of adventurers: those who go truly hoping to find adventure and those who go secretly hoping they won't. ~ William Least Heat-Moon

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show. ~ William Shakespeare

I remember working with Jackie Chan on Shanghai Noon [2000], and when we were working on the script, I thought that my character thought about being an outlaw the way a kid today would think about being a rock star, as a way to impress girls. So it was just kind of a funny idea, but once we had that idea, it changed the character and made it something that was funnier to me to play. ~ Owen Wilson

I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done! ~ Denis Leary

Life is funny sometimes. Of course it isn't as funny as smashing your brand new Mustang convertible into your house and having your life flash before your eyes. Sitting here in my car in the middle of my den, I can't help but think that things could have worked out differently - that could have been happier - that could have lived the life that was meant for me. That was, if I didn't have to keep up with the Greenbergs. ~ Phil Wohl

I think that the anti-Microsoft sentiment is simply due to their having been so successful selling a lot of crap. ~ Steve Wozniak

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

All your Western theologies, the whole mythology of them, are based on the concept of God as a senile delinquent ~ Tennessee Williams

I always wear my wedding ring. It's my trademark. ~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one. ~ Spike Milligan

I need one more bass less. ~ Eugene Ormandy

Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!" ~ Lewis Black

It's a funny thing, really, me publishing a book.... I've had so many people tell me it was stupid or impossible or that I wouldn't never rise to such an occasion, but then -laughs- here I am: A Published Author. ~ Molly Lynn Robinson

That New Year I was invited to stay with one of my old school buddies, Sam Sykes, at his house on the far northwestern coast of Sutherland, in Scotland.
It is as wild and rugged a place as anywhere on earth, and I love it there.
It also happens to boast one of my favorite mountains in the world, Ben Loyal, a pinnacle of rock and steep heather that overlooks a spectacular estuary. So I did not need much encouraging to go up to Sam's and climb.
This time up there, I was to meet the lady who would change my life forever; and I was woefully ill-prepared for the occasion.
I headed up north primarily to train and climb. Sam told me he had some other friends coming up for New Year. I would like them, he assured me.
Great. As long as they don't distract me from training, I thought to myself. I had never felt more distant from falling in love. I was a man on a mission. Everest was only two months away.
Falling in love was way off my radar.
One of Sam's friends was this young girl called Shara. As gentle as a lamb, beautiful and funny--and she seemed to look at me so warmly.
There was something about this girl. She just seemed to shine in all she did. And I was totally smitten, at once.
All I seemed to want to do was hang out with her, drink tea, chat, and go for nice walks.
I tried to fight the feeling by loading up my backpack with rocks and heavy books, then going off climbing on my own. But all I could think about was this beautiful ~ Bear Grylls

He returned my smile with a half grin. So what do you blog about? Knitting? Puzzles? Being lonely? ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Great, Alexia thought, I have gone from soul sucker to electrical ground. The epithets just get sweeter and sweeter. ~ Gail Carriger

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. ~ Groucho Marx

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle! ~ Lauren Myracle

Bindy Mackenzie talks like a horse. ~ Jaclyn Moriarty