Funkiest Chairs Quotes

Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled. ~ Billy Joel

The male staff all wore gorgeous colored loin cloths that always seem to be about to fall off they're wonderful hips. Their upper bodies were tanned sculpted and naked.
The female staff wore short shorts and silky flowing tops that almost but didn't expose their young easy breasts.
I noticed we only ever encountered male staff, and the men walking through the lobby were always greeted by the female staff.
Very ingenious, as Rebecca said later - if we had ticked Lesbians on the form I wonder what would have happened?
-There was a place to tick for Lesbians, I said ?
-Sexual Persuasion- it was on all the forms
-Really. And, how many options were there?
-You're getting the picture, said Jillian.
This was not your basic check in procedure as at say a Best Western. Our Doormen/Security Guards , held out our chairs for us to let us sit at the elegant ornate table. Then they poured us tea, and placed before each of us a small bowl of tropical fruit, cut into bite size pieces. Wonderful!
Almost immediately a check in person came and sat opposite us at the desk. Again a wonderful example of Island Male talent. (in my mind anyway)
We signed some papers, and were each handed an immense wallet of information passes, electronic keys, electronic ID's we would wear to allow us to move through the park and its 'worlds' and a small flash drive
I looked at it as he handed it to me, and given the mindset of the Hotel and the murals and th ~ Germaine Gibson

The audience. They see the name Mel Brooks, they want something really funny. They don't want to be moved; they don't want to be taught any lessons. But I get more letters for Twelve Chairs and Life Stinks than I get from any other movies, because people actually agree with the philosophy, or were moved, or they love the movie. ~ Mel Brooks

Forget the noose. Forget the Iron Maiden. Forget the electric chair or the guillotine. The mind was mankind's most painful torture chamber, the blessed liberty to cogitate offering either doom or salvation, depending on one's disposition. ~ Tiffanie DeBartolo

I like living sparsely. In the main room, there's no furniture - no tables, no chairs, no coffee table - not even a decaffeinated coffee table. ~ Sebastian Horsley

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. ~ Wendy Liebman

The aroma of tea mixed with the scent of old books, leather chairs, and wool from the carpet in a soothing fusion. ~ Faith Hunter

It's just nature," I point out, wiping my lab bench, the sweet smell of the ethanol solvent. "Put animals in a small, closed space, and the one with the sharpest nails, the pointiest teeth wins."
He gins. "Or maybe it's just like musical chairs?"
It's a luxury to view it so lightly. But I nod. It's best never to let them see your teeth. ~ Megan Abbott

He was back at me like a cat, and he swung a hard chunk of wood from one of the smashed chairs. I caught the first one on the shoulder and I cleverly caught the next one right over the left ear. It broke a big white bell in my head, and he side-stepped, grunting for breath, and let me go down. I landed on my side, and he punted me in the belly like Groza trying for one from the mid-field stripe. ~ John D. MacDonald

Why bother choosing a certain chair? Because that chair says something about you. ~ David Bowie

According to Chekhov," Tamaru said, rising from his chair, "once a gun appears in a story, it has to be fired."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning, don't bring unnecessary props into a story. If a pistol appears, it has to be fired at some point. Chekhov liked to write stories that did away with all useless ornamentation. ~ Haruki Murakami

I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society. ~ Henry David Thoreau

I don't bite Marcus. You can come sit on the comfy old couch with me. That chair is incredibly uncomfortable." Just the opening I needed. I jumped up and sat down on the end of the couch and stretched my legs out in front of me.
"You don't have to tell me twice. I was just being polite." Will ow chuckled and brought a blanket over to the sofa with her. ~ Abbi Glines

(As she entered the main room, Syn turned around in his chair and almost fell out of it as he scanned her body. He cleared his throat and cut an appreciative look to Nykyrian.) Dayum ... woman be hot. (Syn) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

The furniture would have missed you?
Furniture's knowing all right. Not much gets past the things in a room, I daresay, and chairs and tables don't go to the grave so soon. Every time I take the soft cloth to that stuff in the drawingroom, I could say, 'Well, you know a bit more'. ~ Elizabeth Bowen

A dead dog is more quiet than a house on the steppes, a chair in a empty room. ~ Per Petterson

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. ~ Red Skelton

Dressing well is a kind of good manners, if you ask me. When you're standing in a room, your effect is the same as a chair's effect, or a sculpture's. You're part of someone's view, you're part of that world, and so you should dress well. I find it's a show of respect to try to put on your best face and look as good as you can. ~ Tom Ford

I blew out a breath, took a couple steps back, and flopped in one of the battered chairs that line the wall, trying, with my casual pose, to defuse the situation. Adam, I don't have a sense to be afraid of Sam in the state he's in now. I don't know why you think I'd be smart enough to be afraid of you. ~ Patricia Briggs

A guy friend I was speaking to said he was talking to a group of male producersand he was just shocked that they said, "But if we give women directors a job they're going to
take jobs away from the men." I almost fell out of my chair. But when I encounter this kind
of thing, what I try to do is give a chiropractic adjustment to the mind, quickly. ~ Rose McGowan

Families, real ones, are chairs and tables and the right number of cups, but I had no means of joining one, and no means of dismissing my own. ~ Jeanette Winterson

GOVERNOR. And then I must call your attention to the history teacher. He has a lot of learning in his head and a store of facts. That's evident. But he lectures with such ardor that he quite forgets himself. Once I listened to him. As long as he was talking about the Assyrians and Babylonians, it was not so bad. But when he reached Alexander of Macedon, I can't describe what came over him. Upon my word, I thought a fire had broken out. He jumped down from the platform, picked up a chair and dashed it to the floor. Alexander of Macedon was a hero, it is true. But that's no reason for breaking chairs. The state must bear the cost. ~ Nikolai Gogol

Sighing, he rubbed his forehead, leaving a smear of black ash. "I've temporally blocked the collective because I can't answer that many calls at once, but pretty soon, I'm going to be entertaining. Lots and lots of irate, angry demons in my tiny little living room. It will be embarrassing. My reputation will be utterly ruined. I don't have enough chairs," he finished nlightly, turning his lip in and chewing on it. (Al) ~ Kim Harrison

We can talk about republican or democratic approaches to the economy, but until you fix the student loan bubble - and that's where the real bubble is - and the tuition bubble, we don't have a chance. All this other stuff is shuffling deck-chairs on the Titanic. ~ Mark Cuban

Someone once said to me, 'Are you telling me that chair isn't real, that it's only thought?' I said 'Of course the chair is real. But it comes to you via Thought ~ Sydney Banks

Even his initial stirrings of domesticity had some quirks. He bought a proper house in the Los Gatos hills, which he adorned with a Maxfield Parrish painting, a Braun coffeemaker, and Henckels knives. But because he was so obsessive when it came to selecting furnishings, it remained mostly barren, lacking beds or chairs or couches. Instead his bedroom had a mattress in the center, framed pictures of Einstein and Maharaj-ji on the walls, and an Apple II on the floor. ~ Anonymous

Stepping out of the director's chair completely and into a scene as an actor was weird. It was more excitement about directing than anything, but I was on a high from being a director and enjoying that process so much that going back to being an actor was almost secondary because I really was loving directing. ~ Eric Balfour

The orchestra had ceased and were now climbing onto their chairs, with their instruments. The floral offerings flew; the coffin teetered. "Catch it!" a voice shouted. They sprang forward, but the coffin crashed heavily to the floor, coming open. The corpse tumbled slowly and sedately out and came to rest with its face in the center of a wreath. "Play something!" the proprietor bawled, waving his arms; "play! Play! ~ William Faulkner

Rankin put down his glass and stared at him coldly. "I beg your pardon?" he said. "I gather this is some more of your officious - "
Laurence paid no attention, but seized the back of his chair and heaved. Rankin fell forward, scrabbling to catch himself on the floor. Laurence took him by the scruff of his coat and dragged him up to his feet, ignoring his gasp of pain.
"Laurence, what in God's name - " Lenton said in astonishment, rising to his feet.
"Levitas is dying; Captain Rankin wishes to make his farewells," Laurence said, looking Lenton squarely in the eye and holding Rankin up by the collar and the arm. "He begs to be excused."
The other captains stared, half out of their chairs. Lenton looked at Rankin, then very deliberately sat back down. "Very good," he said, and reached for the bottle; the other captains slowly sank back down as well. ~ Naomi Novik

But his own mind was helpless against every moment's headline. He did nothing but leap into the mass of changes and explore them and all the tiny facets so eventually he was completely governed by fears of certainty. He distrusted it in anyone but Nora for there it went to the spine, and yet he attacked it again and again in her, cruelly, hating it, the sure lanes of the probable. Breaking chairs and window glass doors in fury at her certain answers. [15-16] ~ Michael Ondaatje

Thanksgiving

My guy buys brie, a baguette, and cherry tomatoes with his food stamps. I buy firewood and wine. We go up the canyon and light a fire in a stone fire pit and sit in soft folding chairs and talk for hours, let the penny-colored pit bull walk against the river current. And as we sit, the tall granite walls of the canyon slowly purple to black, and the sky goes out, and the flames we're sitting by get brighter and warmer, until we begin to dwindle, and we douse them, and we go. ~ Rebecca Lindenberg