Toasters Quotes

Cars, toys, aspirin, meat, toasters, water - nearly every product sold has passed basic safety regulations well in advance of being marketed and sold. But consumer credit is a kind of buyer-beware, wild west. That is partly the result of history. ~ Elizabeth Warren

The nearest thing the Earth has to an official record of the time before toasters had vomited their last pop tarts was the Internet. But that, they argued, was hardly a reliable source. Even if it weren't treason to access it in the first place, who could trust a repository of linked information that rewrote itself, and set so much store by talking cats? ~ Chris McCrudden

Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster? ~ Dave Barry

Your toaster's a puff. ~ St John Morris

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up. ~ Dane Cook

This is a country that can't even make toasters," he said. "And while they can make missiles, they can't feed their population. ~ David E. Hoffman

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime. ~ Alfred Hitchcock

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? ~ Peter Kay

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. ~ Red Skelton

We think nothing of protecting consumers from faulty toasters or unsafe cars. Is it unreasonable to suggest that investors are entitled to information they can trust before investing their hard-earned money? I don't think it's unreasonable at all. ~ Jackie Speier

Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster? ~ Walt Mossberg

Oh," Jamie offered in a bright voice. "I could cook some
"
"NO!" Mae, Annabel, and Nick all exclaimed as one.
Annabel gave Nick a slightly startled look. He was too busy giving Jamie a forbidding look to notice.
"Look, I am getting better," Jamie argued.
"I saw you put rice in a toaster once," said Mae. "I was there when you made that tin of beans explode."
"It was faulty," Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. "I am sure of this. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

You can converge a toaster and a refrigerator, but those things are probably not going to be pleasing to the user. ~ Tim Cook

We have invented many things that have worked, such as cars, airplanes, televisions, toasters and the internet, but a lifestyle that works for people's benefit and well being has always eluded us. ~ Chuck Burr

That there are such devices as firearms, as easy to operate as cigarette lighters and as cheap as toasters, capable at anybody's whim of killing Father or Fats or Abraham Lincoln or John Lennon or Martin Luther King, Jr., or a woman pushing a baby carriage, should be proof enough for anybody that being alive is a crock of shit. ~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Indeed, everything was a shock at the beginning. The wash machines, dryers, dishwashers, garbage disposal machines, juicers, toasters, and yes, the ATM machines. Watching money spilled out of a wall was simply amazing! ~ Li Cunxin

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven. ~ Erma Bombeck

I wished my family would buy normal sliced white bread, the kind that went into toasters, like every other family I knew. ~ Anonymous

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. ~ Sam Levenson

But the toaster was quite satisfied with itself, thank you. Though it knew from magazines that there were toasters who could toast four slices at a time, it didn't think that the master, who lived alone and seemed to have few friends, would have wanted a toaster of such institutional proportions. With toast, it's quality that matters, not quantity. ~ Thomas M. Disch

My full name is Lauren Lee Smith. Of all the names I could have been given, that's the one I got. Lauren Lee Smith. It has all the personality of a toaster. ~ Elizabeth Scott

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. ~ Dave Barry

Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin. ~ Douglas Coupland

Green sadness is sadness dressed for graduation, it is the sadness of June, of shiny toasters as they come out of their boxes, the table laid before a party, the smell of new strawberries and dripping roasts about to be devoured; it is the sadness of the unperceived and therefore never felt and seldom expressed, except on occasion by polka dancers and little girls who, in imitation of their grandmothers, decide who shall have their bunny when they die. Green sadness weighs no more than an unused handkerchief, it is the funeral silence of bones beneath the green carpet of evenly cut grass upon which the bride and groom walk in joy. ~ Mary Ruefle

The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning. ~ Charlie Sheen

Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness. ~ Christopher Moore

The whole world organizes itself around the fact that people manage to get their awkward bodies in position to fuck, an achievement honored by toasters, tandems, and tax cuts. ~ Lucy Ellmann