Bunty Funny Quotes

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. ~ Demetri Martin

Mike Topp is a disablingly funny writer
a miniaturist of nervous precisions, our supreme abridger of metropolitan startlement and inner fidgetry. He dazes and graces us. ~ Gary Lutz

Your mother can't hear you here."
"Distance is no match for my mother's eavesdropping and mind-reading skills."

"I had steel anti-mind-reading plates installed this week. Specially designed to be Marilyn-proof. Also sounds an alarm if she gets within two hundred yards of the building, and I sent the guards downstairs to ninja training. You're safe. ~ Jamie Farrell

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample. ~ Rebecca West

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. ~ Jim Davis

If you do a Western that's funny, there's no way people don't call it a spoof or a parody, even though it may not be. ~ Adam McKay

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. ~ Steve Martin

Art is as heavy as sorrow, as light as a breeze, as bright as an idea, as pretty as a picture, as funny as money, and as fugitive as fraud! ~ Barbara Kruger

The worst part is, he's been extra sweet because he's trying to make everything okay again. If he weren't a serial killer, he'd be the perfect boyfriend ~ Kelly Oram

Sugar, what the fuck did I say about games? I don't fuckin' play them. You ain't gonna make a scene about somethin' you don't know. Get out to my bike, shut your mouth and we'll talk."
"I hate you when you're bossy," I say, before spinning on my heel.
"You fuckin' love me, you moody little shit. ~ Bella Jewel

If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay. ~ Tom Hanks

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. ~ David Brenner

Redemption is a funny thing. Even if we don't ask for it - even if we don't think we want it - sometimes we seek it out. In our words and our actions. Because something drives us to make right the things that we did. It's what allows us to keep living with ourselves. ~ Obie Williams

I'm a very spiritual person, and I believe in God and all that kind of stuff. So my perfect type of guy would be spiritually grounded, extremely respectful and funny because I love to laugh. ~ Grace Gealey

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas. ~ Dave Attell

I'm just in the business of creating; creating new work inspires you to create new work. It's kind of funny. ~ Karen Walker

I love to smoke. I love to eat red meat. I'll only eat red meat that comes from cows who smoke, ok!? Special cows they grow in Virginia with voice boxes in their necks. "Moo" ~ Denis Leary

I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe. ~ James Joyce

You're starting to sound a lot like my mother." "Captivating?" Syl said. "Amazing, witty, meaningful?" "Repetitive." "Captivating?" Syl said. "Amazing, witty, meaningful?" "Very funny. ~ Brandon Sanderson

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. ~ Emo Philips

I always thought of this as God's country. ~ Jack Granatstein

The next morning dawned bright and sweet, like ribbon candy. ~ Sarah Addison Allen

I love crazy names. It comes right from Monty Python and Woody Allen - nothing in the world makes me giggle more than a funny name. It became a thing I started doing when I wrote. If a person came into a store and said, "How much is this apple?" that person would have an insane name. ~ Michael Schur

Harper, I ... "
You don't have to say it."
I don't?"
I know."
You know what?"
I lean against him, nestling in the crook of his arm. I talk into his neck. I don't need to be able to see to find the parts of him I know.
That morning in the trailer, when we had it to ourselves, and you made me breakfast, I wondered whether you would tell me you loved me, if you'd ever tell me, and I looked at you, and I thought you were going to say it, but instead you went off on a tangent about boysenberry jam."
And?"
And it was funny. And it was close enough to the real thing for me. Just sitting there with you like that."
Boysenberry jam?"
Boysenberry jam."
Harper," he whispers into my hair.
Yeah?"
I boysenberry jam you. ~ Dana Reinhardt

What is it?" There is almost nothing I could refuse him at this

very moment. Sex on the picnic bench? Check. Strip off and do the

Macarena on the grass? Check. Crawl under the table and do naughty

things? Not much experience in that department, but…check. Ride off

into the sunset? Double check. ~ Sarah Castille

If you look at the game and everything, it's not quite like looking at an animated film, because that's total character. This, this is really movement, but it's got funny little things if you look for the humor. They're actually getting to the character. ~ Don Bluth

I think 'Saturday Night Live', starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner. ~ Emma Stone

There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting. ~ Keith Richards

Classy.' Mara shines the flashlight on my chest as she climbs into the beached boat and sits across from me.
'It was either this ["Bass Man" sweatshirt] or "Master Baiter". Or freezing to death. ~ Jeri Smith-Ready

The hugely popular Windows 95 operating system revolutionized the software world thanks to its capability of accomplishing the seemingly impossible task of making Bill Gates even richer than he already was. ~ Dave Barry

Roarke didn't quite make it to Eve's office. He found her down the corridor, in front of one of the vending machines. She and the machine appeared to be in the middle of a vicious argument.

"I put the proper credits in, you blood-sucking, money-grubbing son of a bitch." Eve punctuated this by slamming her fist where the machine's heart would be, if it had one.

ANY ATTEMPT TO VANDALIZE, DEFACE, OR DAMAGE THIS UNIT IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

The machine spoke in a prissy, singsong voice Roarke was certain was sending his wife's blood pressure through the roof.

THIS UNIT IS EQUIPPED WITH SCANEYE, AND HAS RECORDED YOUR BADGE NUMBER. DALLAS, LIEUTENANT EVE. PLEASE INSERT PROPER CREDIT, IN COIN OR CREDIT CODE, FOR YOUR SELECTION. AND REFRAIN FROM ATTEMPTING TO VANDALIZE, DEFACE, OR DAMAGE THIS UNIT.

"Okay, I'll stop attempting to vandalize, deface, or damage you, you electronic street thief. I'll just do it."

She swung back her right foot, which Roarke had cause to know could deliver a paralyzing kick from a standing position. But before she could follow through he stepped up and nudged her off balance.

"Please, allow me, Lieutenant."

"Don't put any more credits in that thieving bastard," she began, then hissed when Roarke did just that.

"Candy bar, I assume. Did you have any lunch?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it's just going to keep stealing if people like you pander to it."< ~ J.D. Robb

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain. ~ Ivan Stoikov