Funny Good Morning Quotes

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Quotes About Funny Good Morning

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Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, ~ Helen Harper
Funny Good Morning quotes by Helen Harper
I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?' ~ Demetri Martin
Funny Good Morning quotes by Demetri Martin
Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. ~ Ursula K. Le Guin
Funny Good Morning quotes by Ursula K. Le Guin
Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining? ~ George C. Wallace
Funny Good Morning quotes by George C. Wallace
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. ~ Jean Kerr
Funny Good Morning quotes by Jean Kerr
The next morning dawned bright and sweet, like ribbon candy. ~ Sarah Addison Allen
Funny Good Morning quotes by Sarah Addison Allen
I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance. I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of a much higher quality. ~ John Kennedy Toole
Funny Good Morning quotes by John Kennedy Toole
It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. ~ Colin Powell
Funny Good Morning quotes by Colin Powell
I let my head fall back, and I gazed into the Eternal Blue Sky. It was morning. Some of the sky was yellow, some the softest blue. One small cloud scuttled along. Strange how everything below can be such death and chaos and pain while above the sky is peace, sweet blue gentleness. I heard a shaman say once, the Ancestors want our souls to be like the blue sky. ~ Shannon Hale
Funny Good Morning quotes by Shannon Hale
I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog years. But no, I'm not dead. It's funny how stuff like that gets started. ~ Tony Stewart
Funny Good Morning quotes by Tony Stewart
My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same. ~ George Bernard Shaw
Funny Good Morning quotes by George Bernard Shaw
Good morning, stunner.
You're just getting started.
Your age doesn't matter.
The sun is up, the day is new,
You're just getting started. ~ Lin-Manuel Miranda
Funny Good Morning quotes by Lin-Manuel Miranda
Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment - this day - is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day - each moment of this day - a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity. ~ Dan Custer
Funny Good Morning quotes by Dan Custer
You really think love needs to have a future?"
"Absolutely."
"Good," Lily said. "So do I."
"Good," I echoed, leaning in. "So do you."
"Don't repeat what I say," she told me, swatting at my arm.
"Don't repeat what I say," I murmured, smiling.
"You're being silly," she said, but the silliness was falling out of her voice.
"You're being silly," I assured her.
"Lily is the greatest girl who ever was."
I drew closer. "Lily is the greatest girl who ever was."
For a moment, I think we'd forgotten where we were.
And then the officers returned, and we were reminded once again. ~ David Levithan
Funny Good Morning quotes by David Levithan
I wonder if there will be a morning when you'll wake up missing me. That some incident in your life, would have finally taught you the value of my worth. And you will feel a surge of longing, when you remember how I was good to you.

When this day comes I hope you will look for me. I hope you will look with the kind of conviction I'd always hoped for, but never had from you. Because I want to be found. And I hope it will be you - who finds me. ~ Lang Leav
Funny Good Morning quotes by Lang Leav
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game. ~ Bill Bailey
Funny Good Morning quotes by Bill Bailey
You know, every bad guy was once good until he crossed a line. I don't think they come out of the womb being assholes. ~ Laurann Dohner
Funny Good Morning quotes by Laurann Dohner
I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself ... I could do everything based on how I want to do things. ~ Ellen DeGeneres
Funny Good Morning quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
Goodness is funny because it draws you to it while curiously possessing you with the untrammelled desire to turn it into something bad. ~ Sophie Villalobos
Funny Good Morning quotes by Sophie Villalobos
Beautiful day out there," I said, perching on the stool and crossing my legs. "It's autumn, Sunday, great weather, and crowded everywhere you go. Relaxing indoors like this is the best thing you can do on such a nice day. It's exhausting to get into those crowds. And the air is bad. I mostly do laundry on Sundays - wash the stuff in the morning, hang it out on the roof of my dorm, take it in before the sun goes down, do a good job of ironing it. I don't mind ironing at all. There's a special satisfaction in making wrinkled things smooth. And I'm pretty good at it, too. Of course, I was lousy at it at first. I put creases in everything. After a month of practice, though, I knew what I was doing. So Sunday is my day for laundry and ironing. I couldn't do it today, of course. Too bad: wasted a perfect laundry day. ~ Haruki Murakami
Funny Good Morning quotes by Haruki Murakami
Oh my God, this was an interrogation.
Grady picked up his bottle as he smiled at me. "We just met, but I think we're…going to be pretty good friends."
"Good friends?" Brock chuckled, and my hands tightened into fists. "Sounds about right. Anyway," he said in a way that dripped dismissiveness, "I don't want to keep you all from your dinner. Just wanted to stop by and say hi. I'll hit you up later," Brock said to Cam before focusing on me in that intense way of his that made you feel like there was no one else in the entire world but you.
He tapped the tip of my nose.
I blinked.
Brock grinned. "I'll see you again soon. ~ J. Lynn
Funny Good Morning quotes by J. Lynn
Every day kill just one, rather than today five, tomorrow ten ... that is enough for you. Then your nerves are calm and you can sleep good, you have your drink in the evening and the next morning you are fit again. ~ Erich Hartmann
Funny Good Morning quotes by Erich Hartmann
I feel I am on a high. For the first time in a very long while I have a feeling that anything can happen. This morning I woke up thinking everything could happen, that things would just come to me, and that they would be good. ~ Erlend Loe
Funny Good Morning quotes by Erlend Loe
The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work. ~ Denis Leary
Funny Good Morning quotes by Denis Leary
What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade. ~ Victoria Beckham
Funny Good Morning quotes by Victoria Beckham
One day the "Good Morning Everyone" team announces that the government of the Dominican Republic has offered to bring all thirty-three miners and their families to a relaxing resort in that Caribbean island nation. ~ Hector Tobar
Funny Good Morning quotes by Hector Tobar
Each morning needs to start with a good sweat. I'm either working out at home or on set, depending on my call time. ~ Shemar Moore
Funny Good Morning quotes by Shemar Moore
Michael put the paper down and leaned across the table toward me, unexpectedly intense. "What do you want?"
"I already ordered an espresso," I answered, reflexively leaning back.
"No, I mean what do you want from life?"
"Good morning to you, too. Isn't it a little early for philosophy? ~ Myra McEntire
Funny Good Morning quotes by Myra McEntire
Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. ~ Elizabeth Berg
Funny Good Morning quotes by Elizabeth Berg
Change is the law of life,' she said quietly.
'On the other hand,' I protested, 'some things don't change fast enough!'
'Like what?' Mother asked.
'Like fat, funny-looking me!'
Mother snorted. 'You're extremely good-looking. All my children are.' I expected her to add, 'I wouldn't have it any other way,' but she said, instead, 'If you think you're too heavy, lose some weight.'
'Easier said than done,' I muttered.
'If there's one thing I can't bear,' Mother scolded, 'it's self-pity, particularly from one who has no reason to pity herself. Are you crippled? Are you stupid? Are you hungry, or ill-clothed? If you were then you'd have something to gripe about. You're fatherless, it's true, but then I'm husbandless. Somehow, we manage. ~ Barbara Cohen
Funny Good Morning quotes by Barbara Cohen
I fall asleep feeling beautiful. Then, in the morning, before I leave the house, I say five things I love about myself, like 'You have really pretty eyes.' That way I can go out into the world with that little bit of extra confidence. It's a feel-good protein shake in my back pocket in case someone messes with me that day. ~ Jennifer Love Hewitt
Funny Good Morning quotes by Jennifer Love Hewitt
Hello?" I say, sounding upbeat, and like I'm happy to be on the phone. I decide to pretend it's my imaginary girlfriend. Fuck pretending to be nice.
"Yo, " B. J. Says.
"What's going on, honey?" I say, trying to glance at Courtney out of the corner of my eye without her noticing that that's what I'm doing. She's going through her bag, probably looking for more makeup, so she can make herself look good for Lloyd.
"Honey?" B. J. Asks. "Jordy, I had no idea you felt that way about me. I have to warn you, though, I happen to be in a very committed relationship. "
"Yeah, I miss you, too. ~ Lauren Barnholdt
Funny Good Morning quotes by Lauren Barnholdt
When I left Merle was wearing a bungalow apron and rolling pie crust. She came to the door wiping her hands on the apron and kissed me on the mouth and began to cry and ran back into the house, leaving the doorway empty [ ... ] I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again. (p. 262) ~ Raymond Chandler
Funny Good Morning quotes by Raymond Chandler
Your morning routine generates a 10x return for good or for bad. Make it good. ~ Todd Stocker
Funny Good Morning quotes by Todd Stocker
Being free is as difficult and as perpetual - or rather fighting for one's freedom, struggling towards being free, is like struggling to be a poet or a good Christian or a good jew or a good Moslem or a good Zen Buddhist. You work all day long and achieve some kind of level of success by nightfall, go to sleep and wake up in the next morning with the job still to be done. So you start all over again. ~ Maya Angelou
Funny Good Morning quotes by Maya Angelou
- Dude, it's Jocelyn, I (Jordan) say looking over my shoulder nervously [ ... ]
- This isn't Jocelyn, B.J says sighing. It's Jordan. Dude, try to play a better trick than that. You sound nothing like her. Plus your number came up on my caller ID.
PS: maybe I'm just in a very good mood, but I keep laughing while reading this book, there are plenty of scenes that make me smile, and this is one of them.. it's just hilarious how silly and funny these characters are ;)) ~ Lauren Barnholdt
Funny Good Morning quotes by Lauren Barnholdt
If I describe a sunny morning in May (the buds, the wet-winged flies, the warm sun and cool breeze), I am also implying the perishing quality of a morning in May, and a good description of May sets up the possibility of a May disaster. ~ Clark Blaise
Funny Good Morning quotes by Clark Blaise
I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I would get the work done easily, and then I would try to deprive other people of their educations. I developed skills for mimicry, and I was a good showoff. I knew how to get attention, and I knew how to do it in a positive funny way. ~ George Carlin
Funny Good Morning quotes by George Carlin
Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.' ~ Kate Clinton
Funny Good Morning quotes by Kate Clinton
Now, can I help you with something? I'm new, but I'll do my best to figure out how to get what you need."
...
"That's good to hear, Abby, since I need your breasts for a few minutes. ~ Cherise Sinclair
Funny Good Morning quotes by Cherise Sinclair
It starts with chicken thigh meat cut into big, thick chunks. They're then set to marinate for the morning in a Nikumi- Original Marinade featuring soy sauce and cayenne pepper.
"Breading done."
"Thanks!"
"Man, the smell of this chicken deep-frying is so good, it's making me hungry!"
"Is it done yet? I wanna eat!"
After the chicken breast has been fried not once but twice...
... it, along with lettuce leaves and other leafy herbs...
... is all wrapped up in our special, freshly cooked wrap!
Some of our "Secret Chili Sauce" (which has a dash of Thai Nam Pla in it for flavor)...
... and a sprinkling of fresh cracked black pepper top it all off! ~ Yuto Tsukuda
Funny Good Morning quotes by Yuto Tsukuda
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle. ~ Tim Vine
Funny Good Morning quotes by Tim Vine
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. ~ Robert Frost
Funny Good Morning quotes by Robert Frost
A lot of people need happiness in their lives ... those who have lost their loved ones, those who have lost jobs and other things. Let your smile be a source of happiness to them and everyone else you meet. ~ Ronald Austin
Funny Good Morning quotes by Ronald Austin
Will suddenly remembered that a boy at his old school had had a mum like Fiona - not exactly like her, because it seemed to Will that Fiona was a peculiarly contemporary creation, with her seventies albums, her eighties politics and her nineties foot lotion, but certainly a sixties equivalent of Fiona. Stephen Fullick's mother had a thing about TV, that it turned people into androids, so they didn't have a set in the house. 'Did you see Thund...' Will would say every Monday morning and then remember and blush, as if the TV were a parent who had just died. And what good had that done Stephen Fullick? He was not, as far as Will was aware, a visionary poet, or a primitive painter; he was probably stuck in some provincial solicitor's office, like everyone else from school. He had endured years of pity for no discernible purpose. ~ Nick Hornby
Funny Good Morning quotes by Nick Hornby
You count the days and watch the years go by. You tell yourself, and you believe it, that you'd rather just die. You'd rather stare death boldly in the face and say you're ready because whatever is waiting on the other side has to be better than growing old in a six-by-ten cage with no one to talk to. You consider yourself half-dead at best. Please take the other half.
You've watched dozens leave and not return, and you accept the fact that one day they'll come for you. You're nothing but a rat in their lab, a disposable body to be used as proof that their experiment is working. An eye for an eye, each killing must be avenged. You kill enough and you're convinced that killing is good.
You count the days, and then there are none left. You ask yourself on your last morning if you are really ready. You search for courage, but the bravery is fading. When it's over, no one really wants to die. ~ John Grisham
Funny Good Morning quotes by John Grisham
I think we're avoiding the most important question here. What matters most. What means the most to men like us."
Conall growled at Billy Dunwich's sincere face. "I am not telling you if she swallows."
Dunwich smiled. "Just tell me if she's a good girl ... or if she's a very good girl? ~ Shelly Laurenston
Funny Good Morning quotes by Shelly Laurenston
Good Morning! Wake up and smile like the morning sun. ~ Debasish Mridha
Funny Good Morning quotes by Debasish Mridha
One of the insights of the Victorian Revival was that it was not necessarily a good thing for everyone to read a completely different newspaper in the morning; so the higher one rose in the society, the more similar one's Times became to one's peers'. ~ Neal Stephenson
Funny Good Morning quotes by Neal Stephenson
Lily Thomas lay in bed when the alarm went off on a snowy January morning in Squaw Valley. She opened her eyes for just an instant and saw the thick snow swirling beyond the windows of the house her father had rented, and for a fraction of an instant, she wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. She could hear the dynamite blasts in the distance to prevent avalanches, and just from a glance, she knew what kind of day it was. You could hardly see past the windows in the heavy blizzard, and she knew that if the mountain was open, it wouldn't be for long. But she loved the challenge of skiing in heavy snow. It would be a good workout, and she didn't want to miss a single day with one of her favorite instructors, Jason Yee. ~ Danielle Steel
Funny Good Morning quotes by Danielle Steel
MAINTAINING DOCTRINAL PURITY IS good, but it is not the whole picture for a New Testament church. The apostles wanted to do much more than simply "hold the fort," as the old gospel song says. They asked God to empower them to move out and impact an entire culture. In too many places where the Bible is being thumped and doctrine is being argued until three in the morning, the Spirit of that doctrine is missing. William Law, an English devotional writer of the early 1700s, wrote, "Read whatever chapter of Scripture you will, and be ever so delighted with it - yet it will leave you as poor, as empty and unchanged as it found you unless it has turned you wholly and solely to the Spirit of God, and brought you into full union with and dependence upon him."1 ~ Jim Cymbala
Funny Good Morning quotes by Jim Cymbala
Lots of people use good character and moral standing as a brand name. They know it's what people like, they want people to like them, so they wear it as one would wear a quality brand shirt. Putting it on in the morning and taking it off at the end of the day. Saying all the things they know people want to hear. If they were the very last person on Earth, there would be no reason for them to be of good character, because nobody would see it. ~ C. JoyBell C.
Funny Good Morning quotes by C. JoyBell C.
I was a good student, sort of funny and athletic. I had friends. ~ Rosemary Mahoney
Funny Good Morning quotes by Rosemary Mahoney
The government is good at one thing. It knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say, "See if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk". ~ Harry Browne
Funny Good Morning quotes by Harry Browne
In the hours waking,
when we're still all still,
and you can hear the floorboards creaking,
and you can feel the shades blow in,
the night we slept with,
we'll never kiss like that again.
Our lips, will sever,
our memories, will dissipate,
and our shadows will be swallowed by the sky. ~ Dave Matthes
Funny Good Morning quotes by Dave Matthes
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