Poo Quotes

An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo! ~ Jim Butcher

I don't want to be stinky poo-poo girl, I want to be happy flower child. ~ Drew Barrymore

She was so warm, her drenched clothes had almost dried. Her eyes were rolled back in her head. She started muttering, and I could've sworn she said, "Dung balls. Time to roll the dung balls."
It might've been funny - except for the fact that she was dying.
"That's Khepri talking," Setne explained. "He's the divine dung beetle, rolling the sun across the sky."
I didn't want to process that - the idea that the girl I liked had been possessed by a dung beetle and was now having dreams about pushing a giant sphere of flaming poo across the sky. ~ Rick Riordan

I often think publishing a book is like doing a poo. Once it's ready for the world, you have to relinquish that control and let nature take its course. A few will be impressed by your creation, others will be disgusted. Plus, no one will enjoy your success and achievement in producing it as much as you did. ~ H.O. Charles

She sounds wonderful, and just what you need, someone to rescue and adore. And she needed someone who would truly believe she's even more wonderful now than she was before. People who poo-poo sudden love do so simply because they are afraid to risk their own heart in such a manner. They dismiss that indefinable magic between two people who through some miracle we'll never understand and shouldn't try to, actually find each other in this crazy, godawful world. ~ Bobby Underwood

Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up their
projects."
Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. "No way, dude," I say. "I'm the man in this relationship."
"Oh yeah, absolutely," he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fake
electronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they're staring straight
into my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it's a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry.
"Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. You could've told me I knocked you up. ~ Miranda Kenneally

Sorry, I didn't know that you had a vagina, I'll refrain from using vulgar words for now on. How about it smells like pee pee and poo poo, with a little bit of spew, is that better?"
"You're a real character, you know that?"
"Thanks, I try," she says. "Now, let's get the shi-stuff and get out of here."
"Fine," I say. "But for future reference, I like it better when you curse. It's pretty funny to see a pissed off Tinkerbell." I run from the baseball mitt being hurled at my head, laughing all the way . ~ Katelin LaMontagne

I hate babies with trendy names like Tiffany and Britney and Heather and Noah and Blake and Justin. I'm sick of Olivia and Chloe and Eva and Madison. I hope Aiden and Jayden and Braden and Graden all suffer minor head injuries while reading Dr. Seuss. Enough already with the cutesy-poo baby names. What happened to John and Dave and Sue? Babies with trendy names grow up to be adults with ridiculous names. "This is our CEO, Micah." "You know what, Micah? I want my money back. I'm closing my portfolio. I'm going with Michael. He's a grown-up." One day all of these trendy-named children will grow up and become parents and then grandparents, and it's all wrong. Grandma Tori? Zayda Jared? Nana Savannah? ~ Joan Rivers

Over the years I've received thousands of e-mails looking for guidance. Some have real problems; some talk about monkeys and poo
though those people may also have real problems. ~ Eugene Mirman

Ok, look. Whenever I hear people say that they felt 'sparks,' I usually think it's a load of poo. I mean, I have felt attraction to people, sure, and I have even felt some instant lust. But sparks? Please... Then he touched my skin. Sparks. Sparks. Sparks. Hot sparks. Flashing sparks. Lightning bolt sparks. J esus, Mary, and Joseph sparks. ~ Alice Clayton

If you want the benefit of having an ox, you're going to have to endure the poo that comes with it. The goal is to have a positive poo to ox ratio. ~ Mark Gungor

Louis's feet smell the worst. Literally like dog poo on a stick-that bad! ~ Niall Horan

It may not feel too classy, begging just to eat
But you know who does that?
Lassie, and she always gets a treat

So you wonder what your part is
Because you're homeless and depressed But home is where the heart is
So your real home's in your chest

Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got villains they must face
They're not as cool as mine
But folks you know it's fine to know your place

Everyone's a hero in their own way
In their own not-that-heroic way
So I thank my girlfriend Penny
Yeah, we totally had sex
She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex

There's the deltoids of compassion,
There's the abs of being kind
It's not enough to bash in heads
You've got to bash in minds

Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got something they can do Get up go out and fly
Especially that guy, he smells like poo

Everyone's a hero in their own way
You and you and mostly me and you
I'm poverty's new sheriff
And I'm bashing in the slums
A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums

Everybody!

Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone can blaze a hero's trail
Don't worry if it's hard
If you're not a friggin 'tard you will prevail

Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's a hero in their... ~ Joss Whedon

Billy and the rest wandered out onto the shady street. The trees were leafing out. There was nothing going on out there, no traffic of any kind. There was only one vehicle, an abandoned wagon drawn by two horses. The wagon was green and coffin-shaped. Birds were talking. One bird said to Billy Pilgrim, Poo-tee-weet? ~ Anonymous

There is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, You are a poo. ~ Caitlin Moran

If we can talk about anxiety, we can talk about poo. They're basically the same thing. ~ Alice Oseman

Cam has done what I've been trying to do for a year. He woke you up."
Cam pulled back, smirking at her. "That's a little cheesy, Joss."
It was like he'd told her she'd stepped in dog poo. Her nose wrinkled and she shuddered, a look of absolute self-disgust falling over her pretty features. "I have got to stop letting Ellie choose what we watch on movie night. It's causing me to acclimatize to heartfelt emotion. ~ Samantha Young

I need a night out away from crayon drawings on the wall, mushed food in the carpets, and poo-splosions in nappies. ~ K.M. Golland

I've had many nicknames over the years: V, Nessa, Nessy Poo, Nessy Bear and Van. Only my parents call me Van, though, and I hate it. I get embarrassed. ~ Vanessa Hudgens

You remember that Christmas when they got ill?" Mum says presently. "The year they were about two and three? Remember? And got poo all over their Christmas stockings, and it was everywhere, and we said, "It has to get easier than this"?"
"I remember."
"We were cleaning it all up and we kept saying to each other, "When they get older, it'll get easier." Remember?"
"I do." Dad looks fondly at her.
" Well bring back the poo." Mum begins to laugh, a bit hysterically. "I would do anything for a bit of poo right now."
"I dream of poo," says Dad firmly, and Mum laughs even more, till she's wiping tears from her eyes. ~ Sophie Kinsella

Oh, poo," Simi said petulantly, "we can't let the heifer-goddess die. Akri will die too if he can't eat from her." Her eyes flaming, she put herself between Artemis and the tomb. "C'mon, Xirena, you gots to help the Simi protect the bitch-goddess." Xirena ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Osaka: Ah got a question sensei...

Ms Yukari Tanizaki: Wh-what?

Osaka: It true they wear shoes in the house in America?

Tanikaze: That's what I hear.

Osaka: But then...

...wh-what if you stepped in dog poo outside... ... And you never noticed? And then... ~ Kiyohiko Azuma

Movements of people create change - not just any one person or organization, but when lots of people are in motion around a shared vision. ~ Ai-jen Poo

Nobody is born rich everyone started from poor, that your grandfather or mother or father or grandmother are rich. This is just a luck, other people are born in poor families and become rich! ~ Deyth Banger

poo parlor division" instead of "loo. ~ Louise Rennison

He just lingers long enough to see his plane put to bed properly, then grabs a cab at the airport-gate. "The Settlement" and forgetting that he's not inland any more, that Shanghai's snappier than Chicago, "Chop-chop."

"Sure, Mike," grins the slant-eyed driver. "Hop in."

A change has come over the city since he went away, he can feel that the minute they hit the outskirts, clear the congested native sections, and cross the bridge into the Settlement. Shanghai is already tuning-up for its oncoming doom, without knowing it. A city dancing on the brink of the grave. There's an electric tension in the air, the place never seemed so gay, so hectic, as tonight; the roads opening off the Bund a welter of blinking, flashing neon lights, in ideographs and Latin letters alike, as far as the eye can see. Traffic hopelessly snarled at every crossing, cops piping on their whistles, packed sidewalks, the blare of saxophones coming from taxi-dance mills, and overhead the feverish oriental stars competing with inter-crossed searchlight beams from some warships or other on the Whang-poo. Just about the right town and the right night to have fifteen thousand bucks in, all at one time. ("Jane Brown's Body") ~ Cornell Woolrich

Domestic employees are at the whim of their employers. ~ Ai-jen Poo

He seemed to notice for the first time that we weren't exactly rushing to his side, but were mainly watching him as a zoo patron would watch a crazy monkey, curious but ready to move at the first sign of poo-flinging. There was a minute of awkward silence before someone near the back with their head held under their arm said who's this twat? ~ Yahtzee Croshaw

Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. It ends like this: Poo-tee-weet? ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Need a poo, Todd." "Shut up, Manchee." "Poo. Poo, Todd." "I said shut it. ~ Patrick Ness

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation! ~ J.K. Rowling

Klunk's another word for poo. Poo makes a klunk sound when it falls in our pee pots. ~ James Dashner

Out on the moors,
The lonely moors,
I roll around in sheep poo.
Heathcliff, it's youuuuu,
I hate you, I love you tooooo.
Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee,
Catheeeeeeee.
Look out of your windooooow. ~ Louise Rennison

We [women] are the majority of the population, majority of the electorate, majority of the workforce ... and yet we're still doing majority of family unpaid or low paid labor. And we live longer. Our stuff is not "special interest" stuff. Our stuff is the stuff of the future, of the whole. ~ Ai-jen Poo

She's as nutty as squirrel poo. ~ J.K. Rowling

A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended, because if you just keep going eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all your internal organs out your sphincter until only a foul smelling shell remains and anyone who wants to get into your incredibly long poo gets turned off because they have to go through all the poo up until that point to have the necessary context. ~ Yahtzee Croshaw

[I don't get it. You guys look down on chimps for flinging their own poo but you think it's fine to fling other kinds of poo around? I mean, you get opposable thumbs and this is what you do with them?] ~ Kevin Hearne

I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME. ~ Drew Barrymore

Okay.' I can feel the letters vomit off my tongue.
O.
K.
A.
Y.
I watch the vet insert the syringe into the catheter and inject the second drug. And then the adventures come flooding back:

The puppy farm.
The gentle untying of the shoelace.
THIS! IS! MY! HOME! NOW!
Our first night together.
Running on the beach.
Sadie and Sophie and Sophie Dee.
Shared ice-cream cones.
Thanksgivings.
Tofurky.
Car rides.
Laughter.
Eye rain.
Chicken and rice.
Paralysis.
Surgery.
Christmases.
Walks.
Dog parks.
Squirrel chasing.
Naps.
Snuggling.
'Fishful Thinking.'
The adventure at sea.
Gentle kisses.
Manic kisses.
More eye rain.
So much eye rain.
Red ball.

The veterinarian holds a stethoscope up to Lily's chest, listening for her heartbeat.
All dogs go to heaven.
'Your mother's name is Witchie-Poo.' I stroke Lily behind her ears the way that used to calm her. 'Look for her.'
OH FUCK IT HURTS.
I barely whisper. 'She will take care of you. ~ Steven Rowley

Stop ... stop, that's the next generation of fans ... How dare you pass judgment on those 12-year-old girls who like vampires! They need to be encouraged because in six years they'll be 18-year-old girls who like vampires and are into all sorts of goth-permissive and whatnot. Don't Poo-poo it. There's a plan, and it's working. ~ Kevin Smith

Sadly for you, I think I'm going to live, Simi. You can stop slapping me now. I've already lost enough sense. Can't afford to lose any more brain cells. I really really need my last three before I forget how to spell my name. It's hard enough to pronounce." Nick
"well, poo. Not poo that you'll live, 'cause the Simi would probably miss you if you died, but poo that I'll miss all that good old salty boy meat. Though we needs be fatting you up some to make you really good eats. Hmmm." Simi ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'.
You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO! ~ Eddie Izzard

Ven' is the Nain word for 'and.' It was my first word, and so was added to my name at the age of three, when I first spoke it. That is the Nain tradition; each child's first word becomes an official part of his or her name. As a result, three of my brothers are Petar Da-da Polypheme, Osgod No! Polypheme, and Linus Poo-poo Polypheme.

Personally, I think the Nain should rethink this tradition.

As for my name, I think perhaps there should be a question mark after it - 'and?' - as if life is always posing the question of what I am to do next. I was born with more than my share of curiosity, and it gets me into a frightful amount of trouble. I want to know what comes next from the time I wake up in the morning, wondering what the day will hold, till the moment I fall asleep, imagining where my dreams will take me at night. It's like an itch; my skin or scalp hums with excitement whenever my curiosity starts to take over. And? And? And? Scratching it does nothing to help; the itch doesn't go away, and I just look like I have dandruff or fleas. ~ Elizabeth Haydon

He can do it any time he wants,' says Zelda, hugging me from the other side. 'Any time he sees a Nazi, he can just do a poo. ~ Morris Gleitzman

Dan was the first to speak, his words blurred by the roar of the cascading water. "Pools," he said. "What about the pools?" "Poos?" Amy said. "What poos?" Atticus asked. "Bird poos? It's called guano. Actually, it's pretty interesting how many different words there are for animal poos. Guano, dung, droppings, spoors, cow pies, buffalo chips ... One of my favorites is fewmets." Dan said, "But I didn't - " "Fewmets - that's from medieval times, the poo you find when an animal is being hunted on a quest." Atticus was on a roll again. "And did you know that otter poo is called spraints?" "Why do otters get their own word for poo?" Jake wondered. "I love otters, they're so playful," Amy said. "Spraints - what a funny word." "Enough with the poos!" Dan yelled. Then he looked at Atticus. "I mean, it's cool - especially about the spraints, I didn't know that before - but I didn't say poos. ~ Linda Sue Park

Everything that we believe in and count on is really in question right now. Our safety net, public education, housing, health care, so many things that are fundamental to a healthy democracy, are under attack. So I think, in general we've got a lot of work to do. ~ Ai-jen Poo

I can't believe the poo-osity of my life! ~ Louise Rennison

It weighed down on me like a rucksack filled with dog turds. ~ David Wailing

You called him a big dumb dodo?" Caroline asked later that night as the two of them sat on Jane's couch watching the gas fireplace lick the fake logs. "Why didn't you go for broke and call him a poo-poo head too? ~ Rachel Gibson

But being hit in the face with monkey poo is something that, deep inside, we all believe happens only to other people. ~ Jeff Strand

One thing I've learned, in the face of all kinds of indignities, domestic workers take so much pride in their work and love the children they care for. ~ Ai-jen Poo

Bathroom humor, fart, and poo poo humor in movies gets a laugh. It's a pretty easy audience, and that's been around for ages. ~ Selma Blair

I poo poo the chit.'
The attendant looked stunned. 'You cannot poo-poo the chit!'
I do.' Kate said solemnly. 'I do poo-poo.'
We'll walk. ~ Kenneth Oppel

I don't do hats." "Poo," Lea said. "Arianna still hates the Europeans with a vengeance, you know. It was why she took a conquistador husband. ~ Anonymous

Does this look like a dragon who would poo in a helmet??? ~ Cressida Cowell

Tabby, I think Wren's ass is possessed."
"Why's that, sugar?" Tabby sounded calm, but Chloe could hear rustling, like Tabby was playing with her sheets…or changing a newborn's diaper.
"Should it look like something from The Exorcist is living in there?"
"Alex, we were told about this." Tabby's tone was patient. "The black stuff, the…what did she call it? The poo cork? Is out now, and we're going to see the poop rainbow for a while."
"I'll never look at Skittles the same way again," Alex groaned. ~ Dana Marie Bell

Towles burn. Bathroom inferno! Chanel No. 5, it burns. Oil paintings of racehorses and dead pheasants burn. The reproduction Oriental carpets burn. Evie's bad dried flower arrangements, they're these little tabletop infernos. Too cute! Evie's Katty Kathy doll, it melts, then it burns. Evie's collection of big carnival stuffed animals - Cootie, Poochie, Pam-Pam, Mr. Bunnits, Choochie, Poo Poo and Ringer - it's fun-fur holocaust. Too sweet. Too precious. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

We are rats
We're quicker than cats
And we're twice as clever
Don't need shoes
Don't need socks
Don't need soap
Don't need clocks
Don't need rules
Don't need schools
We can writhe
We can wriggle
We can laugh
We can giggle
We can squeak
We can squeal
We can fart
We can burp
We can slobber
We can slurp
We can poo
We can pee
We can dribble in the sea
We are rats
We are alive
We will survive ~ James Francis Wilkins

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there. ~ Sloane Crosley

I've always believed it's important to make the invisible visible. And valuing that which has been taken for granted is something that I've always instinctually known is the key to the kind of society I want to live in and raise my children in. ~ Ai-jen Poo

I think this is a moment of a lot of possibilities, and openings. Occupy and the 99% movement are really going to break through, and we are going to create a new economy, an economy that we need that works for everyone. Where everyone works, everyone counts and everyone contributes. ~ Ai-jen Poo

Daddy," said the toddler, now seething with righteous indignation, "you are a poo-poo head!"
Feigning outrage, JFK lowered his voice. "John," he said, "no one calls the President of the United States a poo-poo head. ~ Christopher Andersen

You're not from around here, are you? Can't be. Why would we name it I-YOU-POO-Y? Really? Say the letters. I-U-P-U-I. ~ Amber Kizer

Dogs don't know what they look like. Dogs don't even know what size they are. No doubt it's our fault, for breeding them into such weird shapes and sizes. My brother's dachshund, standing tall at eight inches, would attack a Great Dane in the full conviction that she could tear it apart. When a little dog is assaulting its ankles the big dog often stands there looking confused - "Should I eat it? Will it eat me? I am bigger than it, aren't I?" But then the Great Dane will come and try to sit in your lap and mash you flat, under the impression that it is a Peke-a-poo… Cats know exactly where they begin and end. When they walk slowly out the door that you are holding open for them, and pause, leaving their tail just an inch or two inside the door, they know it. They know you have to keep holding the door open. That is why their tail is there. It is a cat's way of maintaining a relationship. Housecats know that they are small, and that it matters. When a cat meets a threatening dog and can't make either a horizontal or a vertical escape, it'll suddenly triple its size, inflating itself into a sort of weird fur blowfish, and it may work, because the dog gets confused again - "I thought that was a cat. Aren't I bigger than cats? Will it eat me?" … A lot of us humans are like dogs: we really don't know what size we are, how we're shaped, what we look like. The most extreme example of this ignorance must be the people who design the seats on airplanes. At the other extreme, the ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

Riley closed her eyes. "I'm getting that déjà poo feeling."
"Déjà poo?" Tao echoed.
"The feeling that I've heard all this bullshit before. ~ Suzanne Wright

And it was a really bad sign of how much fun you weren't having when you actually missed shoveling horse poo. ~ Claudia Gray

I was deep in the poo poo dungeon. ~ Sam Cheever