Kinky Quotes

I had a few other things on my mind. Like if it was going to rain every time I got aroused. That was not cool. I guessed I could handle it so long as it rained other times as well. I didn't want the connection to be so obvious. Hey, it's raining! The queen must have gotten laid. Ooh ... is that hail? Must have been into some kinky shit today. ~ Richelle Mead

I'm not asking you to be bad, I'm asking you to be bad for me. ~ Nenia Campbell

While some male "admirers" of trans women tend to fetishize us for our femininity or our imagined sexual submissiveness, I find trans women hot because we are anything but docile or demure. In order to survive as a trans woman, you must be, by definition, impervious, unflinching, and tenacious. In a culture in which femaleness and femininity are on the receiving end of a seemingly endless smear campaign, there is no act more brave - especially for someone assigned a male sex at birth - than embracing one's femme self.

And unlike those male tranny-chasers who say that they like "T-girls" because we are supposedly "the best of both worlds", I am attracted to trans women because we are all woman! My femaleness is so intense that it has overpowered the trillions of lameass Y chromosomes that sheepishly hide inside the cells of my body. And my femininity is so relentless that it has survived over thirty years of male socialisation and twenty years of testosterone poisoning. Some kinky-identified thrill-seekers may envision trans women as androgyne fuck fantasies, but that's only because they are too self-absorbed to appreciate how completely fucking female we are. ~ Julia Serano

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. ~ Kinky Friedman

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. ~ Kinky Friedman

It's just so sensual, watching her crack eggs and beat them up, god, now I sound like a kinky bastard. ~ Megan Keith

How do you make a book that anyone will read out of lives as quiet as these? Where are the things that novelists seize upon and readers expect? Where is the high life, the conspicuous waste, the violence, the kinky sex, the death wish? Where are the suburban infidelities, the promiscuities, the convulsive divorces, the alcohol, the drugs, the lost weekends? Where are the hatreds, the political ambitions, the lust for power? Where are speed, noise, ugliness, everything that makes us who we are and makes us recognize ourselves in fiction? ~ Wallace Stegner

As with the first Nightmare, we shot a couple of interesting scenes that didn't make it into the final cut, most notably one featuring a female Freddy. One of the kids in the hospital has a Freddy dream in which he's being seduced by a sexy nurse. The nightmare evolves into a kinky S&M fantasy, but becomes less M and more S when the ropes that bind the kid to the bed become Freddy tongues, and the nurse's face morphs into Freddy's, but her topless torso, which features a pair of perfect Playboy breasts, remains smooth and inviting… that is, for a moment. All of a sudden, the veins in her areolas come to life and turn into Freddy-like burn scars and snake up her cleavage, past her neck, and onto her face. (I'm pretty sure Kevin enjoyed the four hours it took to apply makeup to those tits.) This troubling, erotic transformation didn't make the final cut for some reason. Occasionally I find myself signing bootleg stills from the missing sequence. Especially in Europe. Ooh la la! ~ Robert Englund

So you're dating Mr. Freaky Vanderperv, at least you're not dating a guy with no skills and no interest in you sexually! Treat his kinks with respect and he will be an honest man with you always. ~ Roberto Hogue

I also use women as a sex object; maybe I'm kinky. However, I like to talk to them as well. ~ Oliver Reed

My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program (search) from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border. ~ Kinky Friedman

Obi sits on the cot and ties my ankles together. I'm tempted to make a quip about requiring dinner and a movie before getting so kinky, but I don't. ~ Susan Ee

I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes. ~ Kinky Friedman

Lovers and mystics are familiar with this sense of grandeur, this taste of joy - in abandoning oneself to the will of others. ~ Anne Desclos

Hello?" Cam said in a playful tone, "House of all things kinky, the resident sexpert speaking. ~ Chloe Walsh

Why did i so passionately require the truth? because all great fiction is true ~ Kinky Friedman

Always respect your superiors, if you have any. ~ Kinky Friedman

Me: Can we order takeout tonight? You've been out of town for, like, three days. I won't make it through dinner without mole-sting you.
Leo: Ah yes. Mole-sting. My favorite.
Me: Molesting* Fucking autocorrect.
Leo: Don't lie! If you want to get kinky , just say so. I'm not sure how I feel about moles, but I'm willing to discuss. ~ Aly Martinez

Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy. ~ Kinky Friedman

Sleep came slower than a frigid woman. ~ Kinky Friedman

Lola: [looks horrified] Burgundy. Please, God, tell me I have not inspired something burgundy. Red. Red. *Red*. *Red*, Charlie boy. *Red*! Is the color of sex! Burgundy is the color of hot water bottles! Red is the color of sex and fear and danger and signs that say, Do. Not. Enter. All my favorite things in life. ~ Chiwetel Ejiofor's Character 'Lola' In "Kinky Boots"

Regaring Politics: You've got your cats on one side and your dogs on the other; someone has to walk the fence and feed the animals. - Kinky Friedman ~ Ray Palla

Unleash your kinky hair, Diva. ~ Monica Millner

I wrote it alone, for him, to interest him, to please him, to occupy him. I wasn't young, nor particularly pretty. I needed something which might interest a man like him. ~ Anne Desclos

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. ~ Kinky Friedman

I think that submissiveness can [be] and is a formidable weapon, which women will use as long as it isn't taken from them. ~ Anne Desclos

Are vampires kinky? I didn't know. ~ Roger Ebert

Now I really feel sorry for her. Your hand is as bad as Rob's paddle," Cassie shuddered.
"Thank you."
"I didn't mean it as a compliment! ~ Breanna Hayse

I want you. I want both of you. That never changed, even if everything else did. ~ Katee Robert

They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down. ~ Kinky Friedman

'You remember asking me if I'd ever begged?'
I wiped the corner of my eyes, sniffed. 'Is this about to get kinky?' ~ Josh Lanyon

What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky. ~ Kevin Hearne

I look at you," he murmured, "and I remember every position, every way I made you come, how you felt against my mouth. Honey, I know it all by heart. I don't want to try some new kinky position. I want to revisit where we've been. ~ Sara Jane Stone

Young people are the key to this election. ~ Kinky Friedman

Barefoot and pregnant. After the ruckus last night, I suppose I wouldn't be all that shocked if you managed it," Elijah muttered as Stunt passed him.

Stunt was officially in hell. It was like getting caught by his parents having sex. Worse...kinky sex. ~ Lyn Gala

Hey, did you guys ... " Duncan was saying when he walked into my room. Apparently, since Finn had left the door open, he thought he could waltz on in.
"Sure, everybody just walk on in. It's not like I'm a Princess or anything and this is my private chamber." I sighed.
When Duncan saw the bizarre scene, he stopped and motioned to Loki. "Wait. Why is he here? He didn't spend the night with you two, did he?"
"Wendy is into some very kinky things that you wouldn't understand," Loki told him with a wink.
"Why are you here?" Finn demanded, and his eyes blazed.
"Will somebody please tell us what the hell is going on?"
"I would, but this is a private conversation." Finn kept his icy gaze locked on Loki, who looked completely unabashed.
"Come, now, Finn, there are no secrets between us." Loki grinned and gestured widely to Tove and me. ~ Amanda Hocking

I knew I had a problem. I was starting to like that kinky rich bastard. ~ R.K. Lilley

We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters. ~ Kinky Friedman

The fact that he gave her was to him a proof, and ought to be one for her as well that she belonged to him: one can only give what belongs to you. ~ Pauline Reage

It's all very well going around thinking you're a cowboy, until you run into somebody who thinks he's an Indian. ~ Kinky Friedman

Whenever the circus would come to town, I would tell Ethan all kinds of kinky clown domination stories involving the leather clown, like the time she forced me to have sex with her in the little car, or the time she kept spraying me with the seltzer bottle until I obeyed her every command. Ethan and I would laugh and laugh at these tall tales, but I could tell deep down, he was wondering whether the leather clown was really real or not. And I would let him wonder. ~ John S. Hall

Is that where you draw the line? I'll never understand why some things are more taboo than others."
"And that's what makes you so kinky, the fact that you don't see the difference. ~ R.K. Lilley

SpongeBob SquarePants vs. Squidward Tentacles
When SpongeBob SquarePants
tried to have kinky sex with Squidward Tentacles,
SpongeBob was confused
as to whether to suck the octopus's nose
or use Squidward's head as a butt-plug.
SpongeBob appreciated a challenge
and decided to do both at the same time.
Now SpongeBob has a lucrative career
as a Yoga instructor at
Yogis Anonymous in Santa Monica.

Gary the Snail runs the Spin class. ~ Beryl Dov

Sexual fantasies say a lot about the emotional places we go to in our minds. When you find out what's so sexy about something to you or your lover, you will both want to do it more and you might start to crave the searching for whatever else you have hidden in that beautiful brain. ~ Roberto Hogue

How he could have such a reaction with me looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy astonished me. He was kinky. I'd take it. ~ Darynda Jones

Smart as a whip, kinky enough to own one. ~ R.G. Alexander

Good sex is about knowing each other's deepest and kinkiest desires. ~ Abhijit Naskar

Like most of us, I determined that I'd rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the solution. ~ Kinky Friedman

He looked like an accountant or a serial-killer type. Definitely one of the service industries. ~ Kinky Friedman

Well, what if he's ... old? He's been down here for years. What if he's ninety?" Cole's voice sounded very pleased at the notion.
"I wouldn't care," I said.
"Oh, you wouldn't care if you brought Jack all the way home from the tunnels only to end up sending him off to a rest home? You'd be fine spoon-feeding him mashed peas as long as the two of you were together?"
I grimaced. "Believe it or not, I would. As long as I had him back."
"Kinky." Cole smirked. ~ Brodi Ashton

And please, whatever you do, don't tell us that what we do, either in love or lust, is unnatural. For one thing if what you mean by that is that animals don't do it, then you are quite simply in factual error.
There are plenty of activities or qualities we could list that are most certainly unnatural if you are so mad as to think that humans are not part of nature, or so dull-witted as to believe that 'natural' means 'all natures but human nature': mercy, for example, is un¬natural, an altruistic, non-selfish care and love for other species is unnatural; charity is unnatural, justice is unnatural, virtue is unnatural, indeed - and this surely is the point - the idea of virtue is unnatural, within such a foolish, useless meaning of the word 'natural'. Animals, poor things, eat in order to survive: we, lucky things, do that too, but we also have Abbey Crunch biscuits, Armagnac, selle d'agneau, tortilla chips, sauce béarnaise, Vimto, hot buttered crumpets, Chateau Margaux, ginger-snaps, risotto nero and peanut-butter sandwiches - these things have nothing to do with survival and everything to do with pleasure, connoisseurship and plain old greed. Animals, poor things, copulate in order to reproduce: we, lucky things, do that too, but we also have kinky boots, wank-mags, leather thongs, peep-shows, statuettes by Degas, bedshows, Tom of Finland, escort agencies and the Journals of Anaïs Nin - these things have nothing to do with reproduction and everything to do with ~ Stephen Fry

The bed reminded me of a lifestyle.
It reminded me of Frankie.
"It was Frankie and James, wasn't it? Did those kinky fucks bring you over to the dark side? ~ R.K. Lilley

You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you. ~ Kinky Friedman

The bonding ceremony is a walk through our peers, a family member or friend usually leads those to be bonded down that path with a white laced leash."

"You want me to wear a collar!" He placed a hand around his neck instinctively.

Lorn lifted a dark eyebrow. "The leash doesn't go around your neck." He glanced between Kallen's legs. ~ James Cox

Allthough that doesn't happen often lately, I like to read exciting thrillers and those kinky magazines. ~ Jonathan Brandis

I told her that my happy yellow teapot has a kinky backstory involving a nineteenth-century vegetarian sex cult in upstate New York whose members lived for three decades as self-proclaimed "Bible communists" before incorporating into the biggest supplier of dinnerware to the American food-service industry, not to mention harboring their most infamous resident, an irritating young maniac who, years after he moved away, was hanged for assassinating President Garfield. ~ Sarah Vowell

Of Human Bondage?"

Will said quickly, moving just out of sight for a moment and forcing Charlie to move to the edge of the dining area to see him. He tossed one arch look over his shoulder as he reached up to grab that book, and even knowing it was an act, Charlie felt himself tensing. His eyes fell on the leather cuff at Will's wrist, as they were probably meant to.

"Kinky."

Charlie's throat locked. "I'm not..."

"Into Bette Davis? I know, a lot of people find her scary at first, but after awhile you really start to get into her."

The completely reasonable tone was at odds with the wicked light in the kid's eyes, the way his lips were curved up, how he held his breath when Charlie blinked and frowned, replaying the insane words until they made sense. Until he remembered that Bette Davis was in the film version of that novel, until he could finally take his gaze off that wide leather band.

His face was burning.

"Smartass," he muttered, completely mystified when being called a smartass made Will hop in place, since Will had already made it clear that he had a brain under all that hair and glitter. ~ R. Cooper

Matias frowned. Damn, he'd had a vision of this gorgeous woman naked? He hadn't thought he could despise his memory loss any more than he did, but the hits kept on coming. Wait. The blonde had said vision... as in the future? "We're fated to have sex?"
"No!" Quinn shook her head so quickly and vehemently that her teeth all but rattled.
"You sure? You can't seem to stay away from me." He looked down at their close proximity.
"I knew I should have left you to rot in the psych ward strapped to that bed."
Matias frowned. He was having a hard time keeping up with the conversation. "Kinky. Or is that another dream you had starring yours truly? ~ Jane Cousins

I don't apologize to people with an agenda. ~ Kinky Friedman

Just thinking about spending an uninterrupted hour with him makes the color rise in my cheeks, and Emma inquires, "Are you okay? You seem kind of ... distracted."
Distracted. Well, that's one way to put it.
Deciding to throw caution to the wind, I fess up, "Kyle's here. It's our first night together."
"The cop who arrested you?" Emma suddenly looks much more cheerful as she quips, "Kinky, Jessalyn. Did he bring his handcuffs? ~ Katie Lynn Johnson

What turns me on is not what I do to your body, it is what I do to your mind ~ Dirty Archangel

We enjoy talking about music, politics, and subjugation. - Kinky Friedman to Night Rider on KOKE-FM ~ Ray Palla

I believe that Willy Nelson is the hillbilly Dalai Lama. ~ Kinky Friedman

It wasn't a healthy attitude, but it wasn't really a healthy world. ~ Kinky Friedman

When they arrived at his apartment, Allen's roommate Tim, was lying on the faux black leather sofa in the living room watching an NBA play-off game on their fifty-two inch flat-screen. Owen was barely over five feet tall with a pale complexion, buck teeth, kinky hair, and he wore thick glasses that made his eyes look like they were popping out at you in 3-D; but he was sweet as pie and had a heart of gold. ~ Monica Mathis-Stowe

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck. ~ Lewis Grizzard

The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom. ~ Joseph Bean

And while I do love coffee - both the scent ... and the taste - I have no doubt I'd prefer the scent ... and the taste ... of something ... more personal. ~ Skye Jordan

Stevie: "If you think he's a lecher and all men are disgusting, why do you want me to date?"
Zena: "Because, Stevie. Now and then, when the moon is full and bluish, when the galaxy is all calm and peaceful and serenity rules and even the falling stars are falling gracefully, and the wind creates a beautiful song, that's when you find one outstanding man. Kind. Loyal. Funny and smart, great in bed but not kinky. A lover in his head and in his body. A man who doesn't think as a dick-obsessed monkey with a brain the size of a testicle, but one who is thoughtful and can hold his emotions in one hand and hug you close with the other. A man who is a hunky, manly man but who can talk to you like your best girlfriend, because that's what he wants to be for you. Your best friend."
(Page 44) ~ Cathy Lamb

A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life. ~ Kinky Friedman

Is this one of those contracts like in that kinky book where we outline what we're willing to do or not do during sex? Like our hard limits and safe words? ~ Katie Ashley

I don't want to hear you talk about yourself like this."

"I don't have to talk." He ran his hand down her thigh as he let his lips drag across her cheek, towards her ear. "I could do other things with my mouth. ~ Nenia Campbell

Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the Ferris wheel. It's not the best seat in the house, but you see enough lights, action, people, and confusion to make you wonder if anybody knows what the hell's going on. If you're sitting out front, of course, it all rolls along as smoothly as a German train schedule, but as Willie, like any great magician, would be the first to point out, the real show is never in the center ring. As Willie always says, Fortunately, we're not in control. ~ Kinky Friedman

I'm just an innocent racist who likes to flirt with young adult women And I meet emotionally retarded misfits who are kinky about infants' feet, scheming psychopaths, suicidal emos, brain dead skinheads and mestizos posing as white supremacists. ~ Greg Deane

And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person. ~ Kinky Friedman

I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain. ~ Kinky Friedman

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass. ~ Kinky Friedman

No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror. ~ Kinky Friedman

The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one. ~ Kinky Friedman

The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important ... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas. ~ Kinky Friedman

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95! ~ Kinky Friedman

Simon, you're blushing," observed Jace. "And you're a vampire and almost never blush, so this better be really juicy. And weird. Were bicycles involved in some kinky way? Vacuum cleaners? Umbrellas? ~ Cassandra Clare

Seth scowled and decreed sternly, "Do NOT read her mind, telepaths. I expressly forbid it. Zach, you and David may read Leah's mind only in the case of a dire emergency. The rest of you may not. Do so against my wishes and you will suffer my wrath."
Leah nodded somberly. "Seth told me that many of you see him as something of a father figure." Leaning into his side, she gave his chest a little pat. "Trust me when I say you do NOT want to read my mind and see the kinky sh** daddy does in bed."
Eyes widened as over a dozen mouths fell open.
Seth threw back his head and laughed. ~ Dianne Duvall

But it was the dark hunger in his tone that got to her. Damn kinky vampire had actually liked the knife.
Shit. ~ Nalini Singh

She frowned at the message on his T-shirt: IT ONLY
SEEMS KINKY THE FIRST TIME.
"It was a gift," he said.
"From Satan?"
Something that looked almost like a smile flickered across his face and then disappeared. "You don't like it, you know what you can do about it." He
cleared another snarl of water hyacinths.
"What if a child saw that shirt?"
"Seen any kids today?" He shifted his weight slightly on the seat. "You're making me sorry I lost my favorite one." She turned back to the bow. "I
don't want to hear."
"It says, 'I'm al for gay marriage as long as both bitches are hot. ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Never re-elect anybody ~ Kinky Friedman

The porch light came on and Aunt B swung the door open. Middle-aged and stout, with graying hair rolled into a bun, she looked like she should be baking cookies, not ruling a brood of social deviants with a penchant for hysterical laughter and kinky sex. ~ Ilona Andrews

Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day. ~ Kinky Friedman

May the God of your choice bless you. ~ Kinky Friedman

Tantric Zen is not being kinky; nor is it being conservative and austere. It is eclectic. It is a real mixture of all things. ~ Frederick Lenz

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it. ~ Kinky Friedman

I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister. ~ Kinky Friedman

It's in its own little area . . . secluded . . . steamy." Ty began to smile, but he held his ground, shaking his head. "You kinky little exhibitionist, you." "I'm just suggesting that a hot soak would feel really good for aching muscles." "I ~ Abigail Roux

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning. ~ Kinky Friedman

I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink. ~ Kinky Friedman

If ever thou be'st bound in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. ~ William Shakespeare

I know what you want. You're a vicious little hellcat - all teeth and claws. And you want to use them, don't you? You want to fight. You like to fight." She stiffened at the pinch of his teeth at her neck and he blew gently into her ear. "Fight me, then. Fight me as much as you want. As hard as you want. Because no matter what you do, I'm going to ruin you. No one will ever fuck you the way I do. ~ Nenia Campbell

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions. ~ Kinky Friedman

So you've just slept with him, given him your virginity, a man who doesn't love you. In fact, he has odd ideas about you, wants to make you some sort of kinky sex slave. ~ E.L. James

On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. ~ Kinky Friedman