Brodi Ashton Quotes

I know he is wrapping my name inside of him, folding it in the blanket of his heart. I know this because I used to do the same thing with his name when I was in the Feed.

You've never been in love?"
He let out a quiet breath,and I felt him shake his head. "Easy to say. Harder to feel." He ran his fingers through my hair and tucked a few strands behind my ear. With a light voice, he said, "Out of curiosity, what would you have said if I wanted to..."
"I would've said no."
"Yeah?"
I nodded. "I'm glad you didn't, because that would have been awkward."
His chest shuddered with laughter.

Thats not what I mean." He seemed flustered. Very un Jack-like. "I just mean ... What do I mean?"
"Are you asking me?"
He nodded, now completely at a loss.
I tilted my head, thrilled to see that even Jack could get flustered. "Maybe you mean, 'Hey Becks, you have such natural beauty, even without effort you shine like the stars.'"
He stared at me and nodded slowly. Which was not the reaction I'd been expecting. For the first time since I'd known Jack, he looked ... vulnerable. And I was the person who could hurt him. What was going on?

It's about how there's no such thing as redemption," I whispered. "How you deserve what you get, and no higher power can save you.

Why are you here?" My voice sounded breathless.
As if it should've been obvious, Cole said, "I came here to offer you eternal life.Again."
I pushed him away from him. "I already made my choice."
"Yes,but it's obviously the wrong choice. Return with me. To the Everneath. And we'll live in the High Court. And you won't be a battery in the Tunnels. You could be a queen."
"The Everneath has a High Court?"
"Of course.It's where Osiris and Isis ruled.Hades and Persephone.Every realm in every dimension has people who give orders and people who take orders. And I'm tired of taking orders,Nick."
I grimaced. "That has nothing to do with me."
He paused and let out a little sigh. "Then I'm saying it wrong,beause it has everything to do with you. I want what Hades and Persephone had, and I can't do it without you.The only time the queen of the Everneath has been overthrown is when an Everliving has found his perfect match. I've spent my whole life-and it's a long one,trust me-looking for my perfect match,and it's you. I knew you were different from the first moment I met you.The first moment you placed your hands on mine.You remember?"
I nodded. It had been the night we first met.
"Your cheeks turned red,and I was gone for you." He shook his head,and his lips quirked up in a smile. "I know you felt it too.The connection between us. It started even before the Feed."
I looked away,because my cheeks were getting warm thinking about it, and I

If you're gonna leave, I wish you'd just leave. Why do you keep coming back if you're not going to stay? Because even when you're gone, you're never really gone ... I won't get over it if you keep coming back. Losing you once was hard enough. And now you're here again and everything's coming back. I'm going to get screwed. And I can't do it again.

You going to the game tonight?"
I was about to answer,but another voice rang out from just behind me.
"She'd better," Jack said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back against him. I could smell the fresh leather on his letterman jacket as I crunched against it.
"Why is that?" I asked,smiling and instantly warm in his arms.I still couldn't get over the fact that Jack Caputo and I were...together. It was hard to think the word. We had been friends for so long.To be honest, he had been friends with me and I had been secretly pining for him since...well, since forever.
But now he was here. It was my waist he held. It didn't seem real.
"I can't carry the team to victory without you," he said. "You're my rabbit's foot."
I craned my neck around to look at him. "I've always dreamed of some guy saying that to me."
He pressed his lips to the base of my neck, and heat rushed to my cheeks. "I love making you turn red," he whispered.
"It doesn't take much. We're in the middle of the hallway."
"You want to know what else I love?" His tone was playful.
"No," I said, but he wasn't listening. He took his fingers and lightly railed them up my spine,to the back of my neck.Instant goose bumps sprang up all over my body,and I shuddered.
"That."
I could feel his smile against my ear. Jack was always smiling.It was what made him so likable.
By this time,Jules had snaked her way through the throng of students. "Hello,

When I was in the Everneath, I thought about Jack every day. Every minute. Even after I'd forgotten his name, the image of his face made me feel whole again. Was Jack the reason I'd survived? Were our ties to the Surface what somehow kept us whole?
The one problem in the anchor theory was Meredith.She had a connection with her mom,yet she didn't survive. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized Mrs. Jenkins didn't have a similar connection to Meredith. She forgot about Meredith the second the Feed began.
Then it hit me.Orpheus didn't forget about Eurydice.He loved her the entire time she was gone. Maybe the attachment between Forfeit and anchor worked only when it went both ways.
The drinking fountain next to me shuddered to life as a flash of intuition hit me.
I knew now that Jack never forgot about me.He'd never stopped loving me.He was the anchor that saved me.
And now he was gone.

What happened?" I asked, squinting at his face.
Cole glanced at Max. "I wanted to jump in after you. Max disagreed with the appropriateness of that reaction. And then his face ran into my fist.

She's dating the school quarterback."
"People date all the time. And they break up all the time."
"Not these two," Meredith said with a snort. "Their love is epic. Everyone at school knows it. He gave up his philandering ways to be with his longtime childhood bestie."
I finally glanced at her sideways. "They're in high school. High schoolers don't philander."
"Jack Caputo does. Or did.

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It's in your eyes. I've done what I thought was impossible. I made you love me, but not in the way I needed. You love me as your friend.

If the eye really was a muscle, I had pulled it long ago.

Sometimes ... Sometimes our hearts ... crack a little.

There's no such thing as epic love.

Cole let me pull him, saying loudly, "Lead on. I like a woman who -"
"Shut up.

Making your own T-shirts? Don't you have people for that?" I asked. "Like professionals?"
"Well,I usually travel with an army of professional T-shirt makers, but today I thought I'd go it alone."
Jack didn't take his eyes off me as Cole spoke. I wasn't sure he was even listening,or aware Cole was there.
"What are the screens for?" I asked.
"Elvis Presley as a corpse.You wanna come look?" Cole gave me a grin as if he'd just asked if I wanted to see rainbows being made.
"You had me at 'corpse.'"
Jack chuckled. "Saying good-bye here. Remember?"
I turned to Jack, rose up on my tiptoes, and kissed his lips lightly. "Two weeks,Jack. It'll fly by."
I started to back up,but Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "No you don't," he said. "The corpse can wait."
He gave me a kiss that was not quite appropriate for public view,and I would've been embarrassed if I hadn't lost the ability to think straight. His arms reached around my back,and he pulled me in tight against him so that my feet were barely touching the ground. And things started disappearing around us,just like they did every time Jack kissed me.
He pulled back. "What were you saying about two weeks?"
"That it will feel like forever," I said, breathless.
"That's better." Jack lowered his head so his forehead was touching mine. "Miss you."
"Miss you too," I whispered.

Stay with me, Becks. Dream of me. I am ever yours.

I closed my eyes and let the music take over, and when I opened them, Cole was watching me. As our eyes met, he didn't look away, and he didn't try to hide where his attention was.For some reason I was determined not to look away first, and before I knew it I'd gravitated to the stage. People turned to look at me,as if the momentary bond between us was visible,and I couldn't take the attention.I finally turned away.

I helped pull him up, although I doubted I was doing any of the actual work. Will was staring at me again. He turned away, toward Jack, and whisper-yelled, "I heard Nikki's back."
"Yep," Jack grunted as Will stumbled over the curb. "She is."
"How are you doin' with that news,little bro?"
Jack looked at me when he answered. "Better every day.

I decided to write a myth."
"Have you figured out a topic? A moral conundrum?"
"Yes."
"What is it?"
I heard Jack's chair creak.
"It's about how there's no such thing as redemption," I whispered. "How you deserve what you get,and no higher power can save you."
Mrs. Stone didn't answer immediately. The only sound in the room came from my own breathing. "What about heroes?"
I hunched over and scribbled a few lines on my notebook. "There are no heroes." Sure,it wasn't an optimistic paper,but it was the only thing I could write passionately about.
She was quiet for a moment again. When she spoke,her voice was gentle. "Okay. I'm excited to see what you put together."
I nodded.
"And,Mr. Caputo? Everything going well with the personal essay?"
I could only assume he nodded, because Mrs. Stone returned to the front of the classroom. My right hand started to tremble,and I clenched my pencil and began scribbling.
"You don't really believe that, do you?" Jack's voice was soft.
I lifted my head, allowing my eyes to meet his for the first time in weeks. "It doesn't matter what I believe." I looked down at my notebook.
"Wait," he said.
I turned back. "What?"
He shrugged,then spoke in a low murmur. "Just stop hiding behind your hair for a minute."
I closed my eyes,but I didn't turn away. "You're making things difficult, Jack Caputo," I whispered.
"At least you remember my name."
I remembered everyth

To get someone to follow them, a Siren would most likely appear as that person's deepest desire. The thing they wanted most. Cole's had become me, only it wasn't me as the queen, which I assumed would've been what Cole wanted most. It wasn't even me as an Everliving.
It was me, simply as me.

How are you so good at reading me when you can't read anyone else around you?" He sighed, and as he climbed out the window, he said, "I love it.

I think I'll say goodnight here," Jack said.
"My dad's not so bad."
"Oh yeah,he was great...right up until the time I started dating his daughter."
I'd seen how my dad had become considerably colder toward Jack. There were little clues,like the other evening when out of nowhere he told Jack about how every football player he went to high school with had gotten fat after graduation.We'd been talking about what to make for dinner.
"Okay," I said. "Maybe next time." I leaned over to peck him on the cheek, but he grabbed my face in both of his hands and kissed me. His breath tasted like the mints the chaperones had passed out when the dance was over, and when he parted his lips against mine, I shivered, but not because of the cold. I pressed against him even more and hoped the dark inside the car obscured my dad's view.
But I knew better than to push it.As I was about to break away,Jack put his hands behind my waist and pulled me even closer,practically lifting me over the center console,so I was sitting in his lap.
I pulled back. "My dad's going to love that-"
He put his finger over my lips, cutting me off. "Please don't talk about your dad when I'm kissing you. Besides, unless he's enacted a law against it-"
"Which he may well do after tonight," I interrupted.
He smiled and then brought my face to his again for a few moments before finally releasing me.
"After that kiss,we'd better dream of the same thing tonight," he said with

How come you" - I gasped - "recovered so quickly?"
"I dove."
"What?"
"I don't know how I knew. I think I heard lapping water or something right before we hit. So I twisted around and dove. Whereas you went flat as a pancake on your back."
"You could've told me."
"Yeah, because there was plenty of time for that," he said sarcastically.

Why are you carrying rope around with you?" I asked skeptically.
"Stop asking me dirty questions," he said with a smirk.

Why didn't you tell me?"
"I know you won't believe it, but I thought it would be best for you. You were doing so well until I came back. I thought you could go back to how it was. You still can."
"Don't say that,Becks.We're going to figure something out."
"I know.Even so,I understand that it would've been easier for you if I'd never come back.Maybe you and Jules..."
His grip on my arm tightened,and when he spoke,his voice wavered. "Becks. I crashed when you left.Jules held together the pieces,and I will love her forever for that.But if I was with her, it wouldn't be right." He grimaced. "She told me so herself, right before I left with Will. She knew." Jack pushed my hair out of my eyes and off my forehead.
"Um,she knew what?" I could barely hear my own voice.
"It's always been you,Becks. Nothing will change that,no matter how much time has passed." He glanced down. "No matter if you feel the same way or not. You know what,right?"
I shook my head slowly,wanting desperately to believe him, but not sure if I could.
"How can you not see that? Everyone sees it." He slid his hand down my arm and grabbed my fingers, holding them in his lip,tracing them. Staring at them. "Remember freshman year? How Bozeman asked you to the Spring Fling?"
Bozeman. He was two years older than me. Played offensive lineman. His first name was Zachary, but nobody had called him that since the third grade. I'd been surprised he even knew my name, let alone ask

I guess nothing says 'I'm sorry' like a tea cozy.

You really can't see it, can you?"
"See what?"
"He has a tether too. And it points right at you.

Heroes don't exist. And if they did, I wouldn't be one of them.

...and we have compiled what we so delicately refer to as... THE TRUTH. (Because of the danger, we considered changing our names. But we didn't. Still, we sleep with swords under our pillows.)

Sometimes, when someone keeps forgiving someone else, it becomes too much.

You know the Everneath?"
"Uh, yeah, I think I'm familiar with it."
"Good. Because I'm going to destroy it. I'm taking the whole. Damn. Thing. Down. Are you with me?
"Always. Forever.

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If there is an afterlife, I want my soul intact. And then maybe I'll see you there.I smiled, somehow calm now that I was facing something inevitable. I was getting the good-bye I'd always wanted. - Nikki

I grabbed the sides of my desk, as if I were about to pick it up and move it. Like a crazy person.
Cole walked over and noticed how I was grabbing my desk.
He raised an eyebrow. I think when Mrs. Stone said to take our seats, she didn't mean literally take our seats.

Do you get it now,Becks?" Jack wrapped a finger around a long strand of my hair, and we were quiet as it slipped through his grip.
"You haven't moved on?"
He chuckled. "I have a lifetime of memories made up of chestnut wars and poker games and midnight excursions and Christmas Dances...It's all you. It's only ever been you.I love you." The last part seemed to escape his lips unintentionally, and afterward he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands,as if he had a sudden headache. "I've gotta not say that out loud."
The sight of how messed up he was made me want to wrap my arms around him and fold him into me and cushion him from everything that lay ahead.
Instead,I reached for his hand. Brought it to my lips. Kissed it.
He raised his head and winced. "You shouldn't do that," he said, even though he didn't pull his hand away.
"Why?"
"Because...it'll make everything worse...If you don't feel-"
His voice cut off as I kissed his hand again, pausing with his fingers at my lips. He let out a shaky sigh and his hair flopped forward. Then he looked at my lips for a long moment. "What if...?"
I bit my lower lip. "What?"
"What if we could be like this again?" He leaned in closer with a smile, and as he did,he said, "Are you going to steal my soul?"
"Um...it's not technically your soul that..."
I couldn't finish my sentence. His lips brushed mine, and I felt the whoosh of transferring emotions,but it wasn't as strong as th

Jack,do me a favor?" I said.
"Anything,Becks."
"Don't let go of my hand. And if the Tunnels come for me,don't let go until the last moment."
"If the Tunnels come for you,I'll hold on, and they won't be able to take you."
I smiled at the sentiment, even though I knew that no one would be able to hold on.

Well, what if he's ... old? He's been down here for years. What if he's ninety?" Cole's voice sounded very pleased at the notion.
"I wouldn't care," I said.
"Oh, you wouldn't care if you brought Jack all the way home from the tunnels only to end up sending him off to a rest home? You'd be fine spoon-feeding him mashed peas as long as the two of you were together?"
I grimaced. "Believe it or not, I would. As long as I had him back."
"Kinky." Cole smirked.

So,Jules gets a smile,huh?"
I could feel his eyes on me,waiting for a response. He hadn't tried to talk to me since that first day,and his voice directed at me again did strange things to me.Made my stomach flutter. Of course, Jack had always had that power over me.
I kept my eyes down,but I couldn't stop my lips from turning upward.
"I see that," he said.Jack always saw everything.

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I loved him, but I didn't know how to fix all of the things that were broken in our family.

I pushed against him but he held me tight.
'You're delusional' I said.
'I'm the delusional guy whose going to keep you alive'
There was a fire behind his eyes. I set my jaw.
'You're the delusional guy who killed me in the first place

No you don't," he said. "The corpses can wait."
I wasn't sure if he was referring to me or the screen. I would've asked him to clarify but, Jack's lips were suddenly very busy moving against Nikki's. I resisted the urge to dry-heave and looked up at the sky, the trees, the buses anywhere that wouldn't trigger the upchuck reflex.
Jack needed to learn some manners. Damn epic love.

He was at once severe and beautiful, and the more the played, the more I felt surrounded by that cushion as well, as if I could fall and never hit the ground, as long as he was playing.

"Specifically, Hercules. Yes, the strong man often is perceived as an oaf. Light on the brain cells, heavy on the the biceps."
Cole leaned over and said under his breath, "We all know someone like that, don't we?

If I lost you ... why can't you see that would be the end of me?

Thanks," Jack said. "My car's back at the store.If we can just make it there."
Will noticed me for the first time. "Hey. A girl." He studied my face for a moment, and then he gasped and stopped walking. "Nikki Beckett. You'd better get out of here before my brother sees you.He'd freak."
"And,we're walking," Jack said, heaving Will forward.
"Oh,hey,Jack.Didn't see you there." Will smiled again,undisturbed. His eyes glazed over and he seemed to have forgotten all about me.
Jack looked at me around the slumping head of his brother. "Will was wounded. And discharged."
Will swung his head around to face me. "They expected me to wear pants!" He prayed the last word across my face, and I gagged at his foul breath. "Like,all the time...It was so hot." He stared at me again. "Hey, you look familiar.Hey,Jack,'member that girl-?"
"Yes," Jack interrupted.
"You know,the one who totally messed you up-"
"Yes," Jack cut him off again. His eyes met mine,and he gave me an apologetic grin. I felt my own lips turning up.

I tell him there'll be an army waiting for him, and your friend is only concerned with the color of their uniforms. What's this really about?"
Max shrugged. "A girl."
I glared at Max. "Dude. Shut up.

Tell me, friend. Is there more for us?"
I looked into his eyes, "There is everything for us.

Look, Nik, I know you don't like public scrutiny lately. If you stand off to the side, all mopey and such, without a date, you'll stick out like a nun at a strip club." He leaned in. "Trust me, I've seen one. A nun at a strip club, that is. Everyone was staring at her.

I want my heart. I'll trade you for it. I'll give you anything. Almost anything". He tilted his head forward in a challenging way.
"Give me you"
"Anything else". Cole raised an eyebrow.
"You think I care about anything else?"
I looked down at the floor.
"Where's my heart" I said.
"You're always asking the wrong question.

So you're really going to the dance?"
I nodded as I sipped from the mug.
"Alone?"
"Not technically.There should be other people there too."
He raised his eyebrows. "Did my sullen daughter just make a joke?" I smiled as he gave a chuckle. "You always used to make jokes when you were nervous," he said. His smile disappeared and he put a hand on my arm. "Are you nervous?"
He knew me better than I thought. "A little."
"Then why are you doing? I mean, won't most everyone there have dates?" He cleared his throat. "Because Tommy and I have a mean game of Uno planned."
I hugged him. "Thanks,Dad. Wish me luck.

Never focus on the end. Only focus on your first step.

Jack didn't try to speak to me the following day. Or the day after.Or the day after that.
But he was in Mrs. Stone's classroom, in the seat next to mine, every day for an hour after school, the only sounds coming from our pencils scratching against our papers. And the days passed like this quickly. Too quickly.
I stole glances at him.Sometimes he tucked his hair behind one ear, but mostly it hung loose around his face. Sometimes he had stubble,as if he were shaving every other day.Sometimes I was sure he could feel me staring.His lip would twitch,and I'd know he was about to turn toward me,so I would hurry and look at my paper.
And sometimes I would read the same sentence in the textbook over and over, and at the end of the hour, the only thing I'd learned was that Jack liked to tap his eraser on his desk when he was stumped, and when he would stretch forward,his shirt lifted,exposing a tiny bit of skin on his back.

My Lady, please! I am indecent.' 'You are,' Jane agreed. 'Not to mention the fact that you are also unclothed.

Are you okay?" I asked, distracted. I wanted back inside the vision.
"Nothing a little mouth-to-mouth won't cure," he said,but he couldn't muster the energy to laugh at his own joke. "You're no good for me,Nik," he said in between gasps.
"What do you mean?"
His breathing slowed a little and he looked up at me. "I can't say no to you.

I was in the neighborhood," he said, answering the question I was about to ask. His lips twitched. "You know, wandering around, trying to be a hero.

Do you want to know the first time I ever saw you?" he said with his lips at my ear.
I knew the story,but I nodded anyway, frantically.
"Your family had just moved in. You were...how old were you,Becks?"
I shrugged,and he ran his fingers over my head, calming me.He knew the answer.
"You were eleven," he said. "I was twelve.I remember Joey Velasquez talking about the pretty new girl in the neighborhood.Actually his exact words were 'the hot chick.' But I didn't think a thing about it until I saw you at the baseball field. We were having practice at the park and your family showed up for a picnic.You had so much dark hair,and it was hiding your face.Remember?"
I nodded. "I know what you're trying to do."
He ignored me. "I had to see if Joey was right,about the hot chick part, and I kept trying to get a good look at your face, but you never looked over our way.I hit home run after home run trying to get your attention, but you couldn't be bothered with my record-shattering, supherhuman performance."
I smiled,and breathed in slowly. I'd heard this story so many times before.The familiarity of it enveloped me with warmth. "So what did you do?" I asked, fully aware of the answer.
"I did the only thing I could think of. I went up to the bat,lined my feet up in the direction of your head,and swung away."
"Hitting the foulest foul ball anyone had ever seen," I continued the story.
I felt him chuckle next to me. "Yep. I figured in order

Did you forgive her?"
I looked at her with a start.
Jack dropped his salad back in the bucket. "What?"
"Did you forgive Nikki?"
"Umm,Mary,I don't think you-" I started, but Jack interrupted me.
"No,it's okay.What do you mean, Mary?" He spoke slowly. "Did I forgive Nikki for what?"
Mary frowned and reached under the separation glass and touched Jack's gloved hand. "Did you forgive her for leaving you?"
Jack's lower lip sank,and his eyebrows lifted.He looked like he was about to speak,but no words came out of his open mouth.
Mary leaned even closer and whispered, "I have a theory. A theory about anchors."
"Oh," Jack finally said,his forehead now creased with confusion. "Anchors."
The people in line behind Mary shifted impatiently.
"Um,Mary,you're holding up the line," I said. Mary looked at me as I continued. "Why don't you go grab a table,and I'll eat with you."
The tension slipped from her face. "Okay. But hurry. My tee time's at one."
She started down the line again.Jack's hand still rested in the lettuce, so I nudged him with my elbow, and he seemed to restart. "Don't worry about her," I said. "She gets confused easily."
"That wasn't confusion." Jack kept his eyes on my face as he served the salad. "It was like she knew me. Knew us.Did you talk to her about us?"
"Of course not.She also knows about anchors,apparently.And she's late for her tee time.None of it makes sense.

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If you stand off to the side, all mopey and such, without a date, you'll stick out like a nun at a strip club.

Despite all the other factors that had contributed to my fate, in the end it was my decision that destroyed my life. And all the hurt I was enduring now was my doing. The blame rested solely with me.

Cole: " There's the old Nik. No 'how do you do', no talk of the weather. Just a good swift kick to the balls."
Nikki: "A kick to your balls is an option?

I pushed his hair away from his eyes and took a closer look at his cheek. Maybe there really had been a boy in the street, but I also wouldn't put it past Cole to make one appear,if he had that power.
Jack's eyes opened fully,and he looked at me with half a grin. "You remember the first time I told you I loved you?" His words slurred together.
"Shhhhh.Don't talk.The paramedics are on their way."
"Do you?"
I touched his cheek and he winced. I could almost taste his pain,as if it were a tangible element in the air.I could feel my body hungering for the hurt.It was the first time since I'd Returned that I craved someone else's energy.Even at my lowest point,those last moments in the Everneath,I'd never felt a need for it.Until now.Until I was faced with emotions this strong.
He tilted his head toward me,and I jerked back. The taste in the air became bitter and sweet,a mixture of pain and longing.
"Tell me you remember," he said. "Please.

I waited for you."
"But it's a race. Why did you wait for me?"
"I always wait for you. I'm always waiting for you.

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Hi, Nikki," Gavin said. Ariel didn't even bother looking up from Gavin's neck.
"Hey, Gavin," I said. "I thought that latest STD test came back positive? Ariel's head shot up. Good, I had her attention.
I kept my eyes on Gavin. "I'm happy to be wrong though."
Ariel pushed herself up off Gavin and stood there.
"It's not true," Gavin said, a disbelieving smile on his face.
"I've never even been tested."
"I'm out if here," Ariel said.
...
Gavin shot me a dirty look. "Thanks a lot Nikki."
Cole's lips twitched, obviously amused at what had just happened.

Recognizing beauty isn't optimism. It's living with your eyes open.

Jack took me to the Christmas Dance.
It snowed the day of the dance, making the Meier Farmhouse and Dance Hall look like something out of a painting, the lights on the roof glowing under sheets of white. And when Jack led me onto the dance floor and grasped one of my hands and tugged it up behind his neck, then placed his arm around my back, soft and low, I thought life couldn't get better.
He pulled me close against him, our hands clasped next to his chest.The cedar from the farmhouse mingled with Jack's aftershave,making a sweet, rustic scent.
"Becks,remember the first time we met?" he asked,his lips grazing my ear.
Of course I remembered. The events of that day were permanently etched into my brain. "You mean,the time you nearly beheaded me with a baseball?"
"I had to do something to get the new girl's attention."
"A simple 'hello' would have worked."
He pulled me in tighter, as if that were possible. "Why did we wait so long to do this?"
"Um, because you were making your way through the entire cheerleading squad?"
He looked at me for a few moments, then shook his head and leaned in to brush his lips along my shoulder.
I closed my eyes. If this was what I could expect for the rest of my high school years,I never wanted to graduate.
Ever.

Sometimes, when something hurts us, our hearts break a little-in a slightly ... more literal way than for humans. Our pain sort of spills out and onto anyone around us. We call it a cracked heart.

Tell me, friend," Jack said, his fingertips grazing mind as people shuffled past us in the hallway. "Is there more for us?"
I looked at my feet. "There's everything for us.

I shouldn't have come," I said.
"Of course you should've. Otherwise I'd be fending off advances from Mrs. Stone.

Great. There was no scenario in this whole damn thing where Jack didn't come off looking as awesome as the love child of Thor and Optimus Prime.

What? No heartbeat? Huh. Funny. Moving on, the bigger problem is why do I have circles under my eyes?' "And he'd say, 'Wait a second. Did you hear me? No heart!' And we'd be all 'Yes, yes, we heard you. But other than missing a major organ, what's wrong with me?' And then he'd go on and on about the whole no-heart thing, and then I would try to distract him by doing that dance I do - you know, the one that looks like the running man. . . . But before I finish my entire routine, the doctor would be texting the CIA to tell them about my lack of heart, and the rounds of involuntary government testing would begin.

Tell me why you care," I said.
He put his hands on the windowsill. "Because it's you. Despite what you think of me, your pain will always be my pain.

I would never kiss you!" The siren's screech brought me back to the Everneath, and I drew away from Cole.
He had a devilish grin on his face, and he turned toward the siren. "I know. But the real Nik would - if it was to save my life." He looked back at me. "Hey, Nik.

We'd both been stripped of all the evasiveness, all the lies, everything we'd ever kept from each other. Layer by layer, we had given up our defenses and our excuses and our demands for whys and hows, and what was left were two broken beings. Clinging to one last shred of hope. Tethered to each other.

He held me back just enough so I could see his face, and his determined frown. You meant for this life.
With me.

In the absence of proof, all that matters is perception.

What was the point of finding something worth living for if my life was no longer in my own hands?

If I could feed off Cole without our lips touching ...
If I could feed off Cole from across the room ... even better.
From across the Earth ... best.

I hadn't learned anything new, except that another one of the Dead Elvises had an affinity for the Shop-n-Go. And Jack officially thought I'd lost my last marble.

Maybe a ghost is the safest person to talk to.

I was asking Cole to risk his life, again and again, for the boy I loved. And it wasn't him.

Cole,do you feel anything for me?" I don't know what made me ask this, except that Jack had asked him the night of the Tunnels.It obviously surprised him.
He backed up. "What?"
I inched forward,not quite sure I was going with this. "Do you feel ... something for me?"
He was quiet,still as a statue, so I moved even closer.
"Don't,Nik." His gaze dropped to the ground.
"If you feel anything, please leave me alone.I don't know why I survived.I don't have your answer. Shadowing me will get you nothing."
Then he did something unexpected. He backed down, and as he turned around to his motorcycle,he shook his head and mumbled, "What have you done to me?"
"I don't know," I said. "But you have ninety-nine years to figure it out."
He kicked it on and revved the engine, and at the sound,he found his cocky smirk again. "That's a long time, Nik. Jack is gone,and I'm here.Let's see who gives up first.

I didn't care that we'd caught a few stares from students passing by. I didn't care that the bell to begin class rang. I didn't care that everything between us had changed. All I cared about was the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get any closer to Jack.

So why did you come over?" I said to Max.
He turned around and started walking backward. He spread his arms out wide. "For love!" He had to jerk his hands back in when they got too close to the flames.
Cole broke out in spasms of laughter.
"What is it?"
Cole looked at me. "I brought him over. Ages ago.

I come here for supplies.The cashier doesn't notice things.
Great.She just admitted she's a shoplifter.

He took a deep breath and held out his hand. "We got off to a bad start, but you're obviously a friend of Becks's."
Cole stared at his hand,stumped. He looked at me like, What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I'd never seen him so baffled.It was almost comical.
Then the second-to-last thing that I ever would have anticipated happened. Cole took Jack's hand and shook it. "I'm Neal."
"Jack." Jack briefly glanced sideways at me. "I'll try not to hit you again."
Cole and Jack, shaking hands. I covered my eyes with my fingers,wondering when the world had officially tipped over onto its side.When I lowered my hand, they were both looking at me.I'd had enough awkward.
"Let's go," I said, tugging on Jack's arm.
Cole frowned and looked away. "Take care of our girl," he muttered sarcastically.

Faith?" The word popped out before I could think about it. "Faith in what? A higher power? The gods? The universe?" My voice cracked at the end, and I realized what this whole thing had done to my faith, if I'd had any to begin with. I realized that the thought of a higher being in charge of all this made me angry.

How did you know to turn back?" I said.
With his head still down, he said, "I waited for you."
"But its a race. Why did you wait for me?"
He lifted his head so that his eyes met mine. "I always wait for you." He took a deep breath, my ankle still in his hands. "I'm always waiting for you."
In an embarrassingly breathless voice that didn't sound like my own, I said, "Because I'm so slow?"
He smiled. "Yes. But not in the way that you think.

I faced Cole and Max. "Sorry, guys."
I lightly touched the hot poker to Max's back. he screamed and ran forward. Cole looked at him with an amused smile on his lips, then I did the same thing to Cole's back, angling it under the hem of his jacket. He lurched forward.
We ran this way for several long minutes, and eventually I didn't have to prod them as much.

You say you hate me, yet, you use me to stop hurting.

You're not bringing guitar?" I said. I barely saw him without it.
Max and Cole both looked at me with alarmed expressions.
"No," Cole said. "I don't want to die.

Remembering is easy. It's forgetting that's hard.

Because ... it'll make everything worse ... If you don't feel-

The question I should've been asking myself was, in ninety-nine years, how will I find another Forfeit who will survive the Feed? But the question I actually asked myself was, Could Nikki ever look at me the way she looked at Jack in those final moments?

Brother, when you've been here as long as I have, you'll come to discover there are only one or two essential things worth living for. Unique to you and you alone. My honor is one of them for me. I keep my honor by keeping the relic out of their hands.

How are you still sane?"
"Who says I am? I only stopped asking myself the escape question when the walls started to answer me."
Shit.

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There's no such thing as 'epic love'. But there is such a thing as 'epically bad decisions based on something believed to be love, but is most likely lust.

In the moment I faced dying, I finally knew my reason for living.

There is no evil. There is no good. There is only life, and the absence of life.

I'm taking the whole. Damn. Thing. Down. Are you with me?

Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with.