Kinky Friedman Quotes

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Kinky Friedman Famous Quotes

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Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript,
I don't apologize to people with an agenda.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I don't apologize to people
There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face and a chill up the spine of every politician.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: There will be a whole
How hard can it be?
Kinky Friedman Quotes: How hard can it be?
When I'm governor ... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: When I'm governor ... I'll
And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: And I'll tell you another
I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I want to fight the
We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: We've got to clear some
Why did i so passionately require the truth? because all great fiction is true
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Why did i so passionately
We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: We're all worm bait waiting
I believe that Willy Nelson is the hillbilly Dalai Lama.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I believe that Willy Nelson
There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979
Kinky Friedman Quotes: There's a fine line between
We're going to make that Lone Star shine again
Kinky Friedman Quotes: We're going to make that
I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I'm too young for Medicare
People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: People are drooling for the
I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I believe that voices like
If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: If you gotta kill two
The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The distance between the limousine
Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Man's ability to delude himself
Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the Ferris wheel. It's not the best seat in the house, but you see enough lights, action, people, and confusion to make you wonder if anybody knows what the hell's going on. If you're sitting out front, of course, it all rolls along as smoothly as a German train schedule, but as Willie, like any great magician, would be the first to point out, the real show is never in the center ring. As Willie always says, Fortunately, we're not in control.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Wandering around back stage at
Always respect your superiors, if you have any.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Always respect your superiors, if
It's all very well going around thinking you're a cowboy, until you run into somebody who thinks he's an Indian.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: It's all very well going
They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: They probably would've taken Jesus
Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and ... both of them were independents, by the way.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus
A fool and his money are soon elected
Kinky Friedman Quotes: A fool and his money
Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but ...
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Well, I hate to be
This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: This system is really broken.
You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: You never marry the person
He looked like an accountant or a serial-killer type. Definitely one of the service industries.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: He looked like an accountant
I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I'm going to lower the
These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: These days, there are many
A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: A happy childhood ... is
I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I don't apologize to people
An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: An editor's job is to
Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Remember, I'm not running against
But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: But the most dangerous thing
The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The Democrats and Republicans are
My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: My definition of an artist
William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: William Bennett is my patron
The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The first thing I'll do
Like most of us, I determined that I'd rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the solution.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Like most of us, I
I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I was so high, I
My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program (search) from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: My plan is to bring
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: If you have the choice
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: You can pick your friends
The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important ... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The good teachers are bailing
You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: You have to work at
The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The folks in Mississippi are
I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I'd felt that a man
My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: My three favorite travel writers
Never re-elect anybody
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Never re-elect anybody
I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I've been in true love
Young people are the key to this election.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Young people are the key
If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!
Kinky Friedman Quotes: If you don't love Jesus-go
The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The only thing that really
I see an issue I like, and I support it.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I see an issue I
Sleep came slower than a frigid woman.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Sleep came slower than a
I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I don't think I have
I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I've always said money may
All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: All my adult life I've
The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The only currency I value
Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Whether your destination is heaven
Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Cuban cigars is a big
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Beauty is in the eye
You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: You struggle with your demons
If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: If Willie Nelson had been
See the people on the sidewalk? ... aren't you glad you're not one of them?
they're all so self-importantly going nowhere ... they just have no idea of who they are or where they really belong. nothing will ever be enough for them. nothing will truly make them happy. they all think they've got to get someplace, got to meet someone, got to get to work, got to get home, got to keep that appointment. if they had a hundred million bucks, it wouldn't be enough for them. if they had four cars, they'd need more. if they had four homes, they'd need more. they are organically out of touch with their land and their tribe.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: See the people on the
Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are you going to permanently pay for education?
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Always beware of people offering
I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I just want Texas to
It wasn't a healthy attitude, but it wasn't really a healthy world.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: It wasn't a healthy attitude,
I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I don't see how the
I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I've achieved many of my
The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The main health hazard in
People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: People may surprise you with
May the God of your choice bless you.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: May the God of your
I admit I was drinking a Guinness ... but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I admit I was drinking
I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I want to be governor
And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: And I think musicians can
He looked a shade too healthy and nobody likes that. Particularly in New York.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: He looked a shade too
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I support gay marriage. I
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Students don't know who Mark
I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I don't believe in carrying
No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: No, nothing has changed in
The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The Ten Commandments being taken
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
Kinky Friedman Quotes: If you elect me the
I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I'll tell you right now.
The only thing wrong with Southern Baptists was they didn't hold them underwater long enough.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The only thing wrong with
No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: No matter where you go,
I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I'm not afraid to live.
The child-teacher relationship is crucial.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: The child-teacher relationship is crucial.
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: May the God of your
Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: Musicians can run this state
We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: We're first on executions. We're
On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: On the whole I prefer
I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman Quotes: I admit to drinking it,
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