Joking Banter Quotes

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Don't worry," he said flippantly, taking her arm and starting to walk back toward the house. "I'm not going to make the ritualistic proposal that followed our last encounters. Marriage is out of the question. Among other things, I'm fresh out of large rubies and expensive furs this season."
Despite his joking tone, Elizabeth felt ill at how ugly those words sounded now, even though her reasons for saying them at the time had nothing to do with a desire for jewels or furs. You had to give him credit, she decided miserably, because he obviously took no offense at it. Evidently, in sophisticated flirtations, the rule was that no one took anything seriously.
"Who's the leading contender these days?" he asked in that same light tone as the cottage came into view. "There must be more than Belhaven and Marchman."
Elizabeth struggled valiantly to make the same transition from heated passion to flippancy that he seemed to find so easy. She wasn't quite so successful, however, and her light tone was threaded with confusion. "In my uncle's eyes, the leading contender is whoever has the most important title, followed by the most money."
"Of course," he said dryly. "In which case it sounds as if Marchman may be the lucky man."
His utter lack of caring made Elizabeth's heart squeeze in an awful, inexplicable way. Her chin lifted in self-defense. "Actually, I'm not in the market for a husband," she informed him, trying to sound as indifferent and as amused as he. "I ~ Judith McNaught

Grom greets him with a smile full of nausea. "I'm not ready for this, little brother," he confesses.
"Sure you are," Galen laughs, slapping his brother's back.
Grom shakes his head. "It feels like...like I'm betraying her. Nalia."
Galen stiffens. Oh. He doesn't feel qualified to talk Grom out of this kind of mood. "I'm sure she would understand," he offers.
Grom studies him thoughtfully. "I'd like to think she would. But you didn't know Nalia. She had an amazing temper."
He chuckles. "I keep looking over my shoulder, expecting to see her ready to bludgeon me with something for mating with someone else."
Galen frowns, unsure of what to say.
Grom chuckles. "I'm joking, of course." Then he shrugs. "Well, half joking, anyway. I swear I've been sensing her lately, Galen. It feels so real. It takes all I've got not to follow the pulse. Do you think I'm losing my mind?"
Galen shakes his head out of obligation. Secretly though, he thinks he might be. "I'm sure you're just feeling guilty. Er...not that you have a reason to feel guilty. Uh, it's just natural that you feel that way before your mating ceremony. Nerves and all." Galen runs a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at this sort of thing."
"What sort of thing? Being mature?" Grom smirks.
"Funny."
"Maybe you should spend some more time on land, then come back and talk to me. Being on land ages you, you know. Might do you some good."
Galen snorts. Now yo ~ Anna Banks

The cybernetic operation?"
"No, the sex change."
The doctor's smile faltered.
"I'm joking. ~ Marissa Meyer

And Türing answered another," Rudy said.
"Who's that?"
"It's me," Alan said. "But Rudy's joking. 'Turing' doesn't really have an umlaut in it."
"He's going to have an umlaut in him later tonight," Rudy said, looking at Alan in a way that, in retrospect, years later, Lawrence would understand to have been smoldering. ~ Neal Stephenson

I can pay you."
He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure there are services for that.Maybe you can try calling 1-800-HOOKERS or something?"
"You know the number well? ~ Kasie West

I regularly comment on my desire to exploit my admirers or to kill babies and cute animals, and I don't even need to laugh or smile for people to think I am joking. ~ M.E. Thomas

Franklin was worried that his fondness for conversation and eagerness to impress made him prone to "prattling, punning and joking, which only made me acceptable to trifling company." Knowledge, he realized, "was obtained rather by the use of the ear than of the tongue." So in the Junto, he began to work on his use of silence and gentle dialogue. ~ Walter Isaacson

You can easily find out her real name and address with your hacker skills, and I'll just pop out to Cleveland or wherever and kill her. That way she won't beat you anymore at your game. I'll let you choose whether I Own her or not, and how slowly and painfully you want her to die. I'll bring home a trophy for you to display so everyone will see how much I care for you." I looked around his place. "A garland with her teeth maybe, or her scalp if she has nice hair."
Wyatt made a kind of gurgling sound. "Sam. You're joking aren't you? In that weird way you do sometimes? You can't just kill her. I want to beat her at the game, not physically harm her person. I'll work on my technique and I'll win eventually."
Why would he want to do that? This idea was growing on me. What boyfriend wouldn't want a garland of teeth? ~ Debra Dunbar

Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"
I don't hate you."
Could've fooled me."
She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look ... we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."
Why?"
She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."
They must really like olives."
Oh, forget it."
Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand. ~ Rick Riordan

I'll give you a cake if you get him in the stream by the end of the afternoon,' Mori said to Six.

'Hold on,' Thaniel said. 'No making criminals of the orphans, Fagin.'

'But I want some cake,' Six frowned. 'And his name isn't Fagin. ~ Natasha Pulley

Anyone willing to do what is required to become president of the United States is thereby barred from taking that office. I'm only half joking ~ Alan Greenspan

Bulletproof is about the fact that I was shot in the face and survived. Nah I'm joking that'd be grisly and awful. ~ Thom Yorke

Two characters and sexy banter do not a book make, damn it. ~ Sherry Thomas

Some guidelines for a successful 'Grand Tour' of Europe: 1. Energy! Never be 'too tired' or 'not in the mood'. 2. Avoid conflict with Albie. Accept light-hearted joshing and do not retaliate with malice or bitter recriminations. Good humour at all times. 3. It is not necessary to be seen to be right about everything, even when that is the case. 4. Be open-minded and willing to try new things. For example, unusual foods from unhygienic kitchens, experimental art, unusual points of view, etc. 5. Be fun. Enjoy light-hearted banter with C and A. 6. Try to relax. Don't dwell on the future for ~ David Nicholls

Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. "You really don't get this bodyguard thing, do you?"
"I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?"
"I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house a night and throw up in his mailbox."
"I'm pretty sure that's not it ~ Cassandra Clare

God ordered Abraham to make a burnt offering of his longed-for son. Abraham built an altar, put firewood upon it, and trusted Isaac up on top of the wood. His murdering knife was already in his hand when an angel dramatically intervened with the news of a last-minute change of plan: God was only joking after all, 'tempting' Abraham, and testing his faith. A modern moralist cannot help but wonder how a child could ever recover from such psychological trauma. By the standards of modern morality, this disgraceful story is an example simultaneously of child abuse, bullying in two assymetrical power relationships, and the first recorded use of the Nuremberg defence: 'I was only obeying orders.' Yet the legend is one of the great foundational myths of all three monotheistic religions. ~ Richard Dawkins

You're certifiable, you do know that, yes?" Austin commented with a strange look.

"Well, coming from the school's resident sociopath, I take that as high praise."

"Don't make me get my pipe bombs."

Oh God, he was actually joking with me. I was in. In where, I had no idea, but I was definitely in somewhere. And he was smiling-- a real, non-adverb laced smile. And damn, he had dimples. I was doomed. So doomed. ~ Chris O'Guinn

Stacy can choke on store-bought sugar cookies like the rest of us. Why's he even bringing them? They're dentists. They should be eating celery. ~ Sarah Hogle

I have always viewed thinking about arguing, about questioning, pushing back with, joking, about sharing and discovering the world and the news as enjoyable, the same way that I view watching basketball. ~ Chris Hayes

I've loved you since the first moment I clapped eyes on you in Latin class. Since that day in the rain, when you climbed into my car and slipped my sweater over your head to get warm. Since the first time I watched you with Jamie, laughing and joking even though the weight of the world was on your shoulders. Since I saw you running in crazy, breathless circles around the circumference of my favorite tree, a look of absolute joy on your face." He traced a finger down my cheek. "I've loved you since before I even knew what love was. ~ Julie Johnson

Listening to her banter with Armin was like standing between two ballet dancers in a gunfight. They circled each other elegantly, feinting, pirouetting, setting up the fatal shot, and Blythe was usually the one to fire it point-blank to Armin's chest. He accepted his wounds with a gentleman's grace, and the dance resumed. ~ Leah Raeder

The sound of a chainsaw going off inside the building had me meeting Amari's gaze, and he shot me a funny expression.

"You scared?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Why? If I say yes, will you hold my hand?"

Well, I hadn't been asking to flirt. I'd just been joking. But….

"No," I replied. "I'm going to be too busy holding Zac's hand. I don't want him having nightmares tonight."

He chuckled just as I felt a hand land on the back of my neck again, molding itself around it.

Tilting my head back, I found those familiar baby blues on me. I whispered, "But for real, I don't think I'll get scared, but if I do, I'm using you as a human shield. You've lived a much fuller life than I have. Technically, Amari's bigger but - "

My old friend scoffed. "We're the same size. You know people still call me 'Big Texas,' don't you?"

"Yeah, I know, but I started calling you that back when you were the biggest guy I knew. You're not even that big."

"Excuse me?"

It was too much fun to pick on him. "You're big, but you're not that big."

Zac's head reared back. "Aren't you five feet tall?"

"Five foot two."

Zac blinked.

I blinked.

He narrowed his eyes. "Swear to God, I'm tellin' Mama on you. ~ Mariana Zapata

-"I am really starting to dislike you."
-"You know what they say: dislike is akin to lust."
-"That's not the expression."
-"It is in my world. You wouldn't be the first one to tell me you hate me only to rip my clothes off and ride me like a wild cowgirl. ~ Eve Langlais

You're joking. You want to help me?"
"We're brothers-in-arms, Sonny." Fennrys stood and paced restlessly. "And, truth is, I'm bored out of my mind in Manhattan. Nothing to do there but jump at shadows and put up with Aaneel's pompous yapping: 'There're crack in the Gate! Remain vigilant! Protect the puny humans! Eek, a mouse!' It's tiresome. ~ Lesley Livingston

What's wrong?" he asks, falling away immediately.

"You were choking me!" I snap.

"I thought you said I was joking you!"

We stare at each other, filled with equal parts horror and hilarity.

"Communication is always the key," Stacy sings from the front.

Laughter wins out. Tucker and I collapse against each other. We can't stop laughing, and after a few seconds of calling our names and clapping for attention, Stacy finally asks us to leave. ~ Elle Kennedy

One more item for the delusional Miss Grundys still obtusely citing Reagan as their model of "niceness": As governor of California, Reagan gave student protesters at Berkeley the finger. Remember that next time you ask yourself: "What would Reagan do?" People who are afraid of ideas whitewash Reagan like they whitewash Jesus . Sorry to break it to you, but the Reagan era did not consist of eight years of Reagan joking about his naps. ~ Ann Coulter

We laugh at a man who, stepping out of his room at the very minute when the sun is rising, says, "It is my will that the sun shall rise"; or at him who, unable to stop a wheel, says, "I wish it to roll"; or, again, at him who, thrown in a wrestling match, says, "Here I lie, but here I wish to lie." But, joking apart, do we not act like one of these three persons whenever we use the expression "I wish"? ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Stepped out into the cold, collar high, under the slate gray sky. The air was smoking and the streets were dry, and I wasn't joking when I said goodbye. ~ Ani DiFranco

Do you always wear Malaysian imitations of Brooks Brothers blue oxford button-downs, Mr. Laney?"

Laney had looked down at his shirt, or tried to.

"Malaysia?"

"The stitch-count's dead on, but they still haven't mastered the thread-tension."

"Oh."

"Never mind. A little prototypic nerd chic could actually lend a certain frisson, around here. You could lose the tie, though. Definitely lose the tie. And keep a collection of felt-tipped pens in your pocket. Unchewed, please. Plus one of those fat flat highlighters, in a really nasty fluorescent shade."

"Are you joking?"

"Probably, Mr. Laney. May I call you Colin?"

"Yes."

She never did call him "Colin," then or ever. "You'll find that humor is essential at Slitscan, Laney. A necessary survival tool. You'll find the type that's most viable here is fairly oblique."

"How do you mean, Ms. Torrance?"

"Kathy. I mean difficult to quote effectively in a memo. Or a court of law. ~ William Gibson

You accused me of murder. Do you make a habit of bringing schoolgirls into an interview room with murder suspects?'
He waved his hand. 'Oh, I was only joking about that. I don't really think you murdered someone. Unless you did, in which case I reserve the right to say I knew it all along. ~ Derek Landy

Extended discourse, whether in the form of novels or expository treatises, presents the mind with a category of stimuli that can guide thinking though a long, complex, and coherent line of reasoning. Books structure ideas almost uniquely: The vocabulary and thought forms that are commonplace in book-length texts are rare in daily conversations. Books present a much wider range of vocabulary, concepts, and inferences than can be found in our daily banter with friends and family members. ~ Michael E. Martinez

My dowry is thirty-five. A year."
His brows climbed. "You're joking."
"I would never joke about money with a notorious thief. Just imagine, in a mere two years you're at a profit."
"How I adore a woman who does mathematics in her head."
"I can forge signatures as well."
"Splendid. Exactly the bride I've been hoping for. ~ Shana Abe

Wyatt." She tore it open and stood there, drinking him in.Just the sight of him had her heart doing a happy dance in her chest.
"Don't throw me out." He lifted a hand. "I come in peace.With food."
When she didn't say a word he added, "Pizza.With all your favorite toppings.Sausage, mushrooms, green..."
"Well,then." To hide the unexpected tears that sprang to her eyes,she turned away quickly. "Since you went to so much trouble,you may as well come in."
"It was no trouble.I just rode a hundred miles on my Harley,fought my way through the smoke screen at the Fortune Saloon,had to fend off Daffy's attempts to have her way with me, and discovered that I'd left my wallet back at the ranch,which meant I had to sign away my life before Vi would turn over this pizza,wine,and dessert. But hey, no trouble at all.It's the sort of thing I do nearly every day."
He followed her to the kitchen, where he set down the pizza box and a brown bag.
He glanced over at the stove. "Are you going to lift that kettle, or did I interrupt you making a recording of you whistling along with it in harmony?"
Despite her tears,she found herself laughing hysterically at his silly banter.
Oh,how she'd missed it.
He set the kettle aside.The sudden silence was shocking.
Because she had her back to him, he fought the urge to touch her.Instead he studied the way her shoulders were shaking. Troubled,he realized he'd made her cry.
"Sorry." Deflated,his tone lowere ~ R.C. Ryan

You think I'm wasting my time, " I accuse his flawless profile. "You think Sammy's dead."
"How could I know that, Cassie?"
"I'm not saying you know that. I'm saying you THINK that."
"Does it matter what I think?"
"No, so shut up."
"I wasn't saying anything. YOU said
"
"Don't ... say ... anything."
"I'm not."
"You just did."
"I'll stop."
"But you're not. You say you will, then you just keep going."
He starts to say something, then shuts his mouth so hard, I hear his teeth click. ~ Rick Yancey

I was Juliet and Quinn was Romeo, and the lines weren't dead black-and-white words on a page but somehow alive, as natural and real as the argument we'd had about the spider and the fly. The rows of empty seats were gone, and we were in a candlelit ballrooom, wrapped in our own cocoon of words. But the playful banter of our words couldn't mask what we both knew
that after this, nothing would be the same .
And then we got to the kissing part, which we'd only read through together and had never really rehearsed. But it didn't matter, because I was still Juliet and Quinn was still Romeo, his gray-green eyes fixed on mine. And when he bent to kiss me, it was Romeo's lips on Juliet's.
Even so, Juliet was just as stunned as I would've been. When I said the last line, I was speaking for both of us. You kiss by the book. ~ Jennifer Sturman

The men were making too much noise, laughing, joking, to cover her terrible accusing silence below. She made the empty rooms roar with accusation and shake down a fine dust go guilt that was sucked in their nostrils as they plunged about. ~ Ray Bradbury