Joe Rogan Quotes

When you're jealous, especially of someone else's art or creations you automatically put up these selfish walls that reinforce your stupid ideas. It's hard to pull those walls down and look at what you're hiding. Look at your own weakness and realize that the jealousy came from knowing that you're intimidated by someone else's work, and that when you compare it to your own, you fall short. ~ Joe Rogan

If the world was an etch-a-sketch, glaciers are the big shake. ~ Joe Rogan

People for the most part can smell lies. ~ Joe Rogan

Cities are natural, that's why they're everywhere. It's not like there's only one city, and everybody's like 'What the f**k is this?' No, cities are all over the place. They're natural. You know what's not natural? You, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of the winter. ~ Joe Rogan

Comedy is a funny thing, and it's really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title. You would never go to a club just to see "Live music," you would go to a jazz club to see jazz, a blues club to see blues, etc. But when you go to see "standup comedy," if you don't know the performers material, you really don't have any idea what you're gonna get. ~ Joe Rogan

Live your life like you're the hero in your movie. ~ Joe Rogan

There's only 2 reasons that you hate gay marriage;
1. You're dumb, or 2. You're secretly worried that dicks are delicious. ~ Joe Rogan

I have this thing built into my contract that the club has to put up a sign that says my act "contains the strongest language and material content imaginable," but, believe it or not, I still get complaints. People want you to be what they want you to be. If they see you on TV and that's what they like, they want you to be EXACTLY like that when they see you live. And if you're not, some of them get upset. ~ Joe Rogan

So instead of investing your time in a passion, you've sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn't understand you. That's the problem with our society. And what's the reward? Go home and get a big TV. ~ Joe Rogan

I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else. ~ Joe Rogan

The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both. ~ Joe Rogan

Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential. ~ Joe Rogan

What's interesting about science is that we're constantly discovering new things about the universe, about ourselves, about our bodies, about diseases, about the possibilities of the future. It's amazing. Science is one of the coolest things about being a human being - without a doubt. ~ Joe Rogan

There's a lot of people that I disagree with that I think I could have interesting conversations with. What I don't want to get into is manufactured conflict. I would much rather talk to someone like Dr. Rhonda Patrick or Randall Carlson and be mesmerized by information. I guess in a way that's selfish, or maybe not objective of me. The older (and hopefully wiser) I get the less interested I am in conflict. I don't mind disagreeing with people in a civil way, but I definitely don't want to go out of my way to have an argument unless it's a really important subject. ~ Joe Rogan

It's so weird man, it's like the vagina is an elevator door that opens up into this dimension, and sometimes that elevator puts you out on to a bad fucking floor! ~ Duncan Trussell (The Joe Rogan Experience, Episode 179)

The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mind ~ Joe Rogan

There's a confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level of competition, whatever the sport is. Whether it's boxing or wrestling, or whatever. ~ Joe Rogan

If you attach your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're gonna stay on that road because you are attached to an ideology. It could be a terrible road, but you stick with it regardless of rational thinking. ~ Joe Rogan

I'm afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is. ~ Joe Rogan

I've done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It's a big part of mixed martial arts. ~ Joe Rogan

I want to make sure that everything that I'm creating, I'm creating it so other people get enjoyment out of it. And that's the reward that you get for that. ~ Joe Rogan

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. ~ Joe Rogan

You're sort of programmed a certain way because of your environment. That's all you know. But we don't have that anymore because of the internet. Because of the internet we're all communicating with each other all across the board, so you're getting information from people all around the world, hitting a much more diverse slice of culture. ~ Joe Rogan

Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the opportunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening. ~ Joe Rogan

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me. ~ Joe Rogan

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful. ~ Joe Rogan

Once you understand what excellence is all about ... you see how that excellence manifests itself in any discipline. ~ Joe Rogan

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. ~ Joe Rogan

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them. ~ Joe Rogan

I've been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there's ever anybody that I can inspire, to me that's a huge gift. To be able to turn that back around. ~ Joe Rogan

Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends. ~ Joe Rogan

For those that have said I seemed dickish to some of the nuttier guests on Joe Rogan Questions Everything - guilty as charged. As the season wore on I lost my patience with some of those folks unfortunately. I think I overdosed on ridiculous/likely fake stories. I certainly learned a lot about the kind of people that invest a large portion of their life on fringe subjects - they're all white. I think there's something interesting about the subjects, (UFOS, etc) but the study of them has often been overrun by silly thinking. ~ Joe Rogan

There's a very famous Miyamoto Musashi quote. "Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things." The idea is once you understand what excellence is all about, whether it's in painting, or carpentry or martial arts, that you see how that excellence manifests itself in any discipline. I think that all the different things that I do enhance all the other things that I do. ~ Joe Rogan

People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it. ~ Joe Rogan

The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers. ~ Joe Rogan

In order to be truly great at something you have to give into a certain amount of madness. ~ Joe Rogan

It's been one of the most important tools for me in personal growth for understanding myself, how I am, and what effect I do have on other people. ~ Joe Rogan

If you haven't peed the bed, you haven't taken enough chances. ~ Joe Rogan

A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense. ~ Joe Rogan

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it? ~ Joe Rogan

No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We're designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory. ~ Joe Rogan

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. ~ Nick Diaz

Kindness is one of the best gifts you can bestow ... We know that inherently that feels great. ~ Joe Rogan

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking. ~ Joe Rogan

Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired. ~ Joe Rogan

Greatness and madness are next door neighbours; and they borrow each other's sugar. You don't get there without the other. ~ Joe Rogan

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with. ~ Joe Rogan

I love existing in pre big bang conditions. ~ Joe Rogan

The people who could most benefit from the self-reflective ego-dissolving qualities of cannabis are the ones that want it to be illegal. ~ Joe Rogan

To really appreciate life you got to know you're going to die. ~ Joe Rogan

Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot ~ Joe Rogan

Someone else's success does not equal a failure for you. ~ Joe Rogan

When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men. ~ Joe Rogan

Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit. ~ Joe Rogan

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion. ~ Joe Rogan

We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by. ~ Joe Rogan

For many people the reason why they're idiots is not necessarily that their brain doesn't work well, it's that they got in a terrible pattern. ~ Joe Rogan

I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you. ~ Joe Rogan

If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time. ~ Joe Rogan

You could smell my ass from mars. ~ Joe Rogan

People love to see people fall. ~ Joe Rogan

On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I've had both knees reconstructed. ~ Joe Rogan

I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you ... That can be an awesome motivating force that can improve your life if you choose to be inspired and not jealous. One (being jealous) has no benefit whatsoever, the other is an incredible resource for creating momentum and improvement. ~ Joe Rogan

You can't measure what's inside a man's heart. ~ Joe Rogan

The key to happiness doesn't lay in numbers in a bank account but in the way we make others feel. ~ Joe Rogan

I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are. ~ Joe Rogan

When a ball goes into a net it only means something because we decided it means something. When somebody punches somebody in the face it always means something. ~ Joe Rogan

I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are the thoughts that I have. I do the kind of comedy that I would enjoy seeing. ~ Joe Rogan

The number one reason why marijuana is illegal is because the Pharma Cartel does not want you to grow your own medicine. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. The first car ever made ran on hemp oil. Hemp seeds are also the healthiest food on the planet with the highest protein content out of any plant. ~ Joe Rogan

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. ~ Joe Rogan

Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken. ~ Joe Rogan

Houston Alexander is for real! ~ Joe Rogan

I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do. ~ Joe Rogan

I read the things that scientists have figured out, and apply what they say is beneficial, but at the end of the day I'm the wrong person to get unchallenged nutritional advice from. ~ Joe Rogan

If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd. ~ Joe Rogan

I don't know much about the music business, but for just general advice for someone trying to create things, as simple as this sounds, I think the best thing you can do is constantly try to improve upon your work. Always focus on that first and foremost, and leave everything else (marketing, image) completely secondary. Obviously, easier said than done when you're trying to make a living, but if you can move along those lines and earnestly try to make things that you really enjoy it can only benefit you in the long run. ~ Joe Rogan

I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that I would somehow become a sports commentator. ~ Joe Rogan

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends. ~ Joe Rogan

I do cagefight commentary in my spare time. ~ Joe Rogan

The quicker we all realize that we've been taught how to live life by people that were operating on the momentum of an ignorant past the quicker we can move to a global ethic of community that doesn't value invented borders or the monopolization of natural resources, but rather the goal of a happier more loving humanity. ~ Joe Rogan

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way. ~ Joe Rogan

Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It's a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box ... but in an actual physical fight against someone who's just a wrestler, you're going to get killed. ~ Joe Rogan

Prison is for rapists, thieves, and murderers. If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, then you're the fucking criminal. ~ Joe Rogan

If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk. ~ Joe Rogan

Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid. ~ Joe Rogan

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get. ~ Joe Rogan

Selling your life to sit in a box and work for a machine. An uncaring machine that demands productivity that doesn't understand you and doesn't want to understand you ... There's no natural behaviour. Everyone is wearing clothes they don't want to wear. Everybody is showing up and doing something they don't want to do. They have no connection to it. That's the problem with our society ... ~ Joe Rogan

What people like are things to laugh at. Funny shows. It's all in the execution, the writing and the characters, not the setting. And the writing and the execution and the characters are GREAT on (Everybody Loves Raymond). ~ Joe Rogan

It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal. ~ Joe Rogan

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird. ~ Joe Rogan

I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from. ~ Joe Rogan

The universe rewards hustle. ~ Joe Rogan

As a longtime practitioner of yoga and a person who's been involved in physical fitness my whole life, I can tell you, yoga helps you achieve altered states of consciousness. It is not just stretching. The only way you can say that it's stretching is if you haven't done it, or that you haven't done it rigorously for a long period of time. ~ Joe Rogan

We have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life. ~ Joe Rogan

Choose To Be Inspired. ~ Joe Rogan

I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh. ~ Joe Rogan

Have you ever talked to someone, and you're not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that. ~ Joe Rogan

The best way to pursue any discipline is the martial art way. ~ Joe Rogan

Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out. ~ Joe Rogan

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it. ~ Joe Rogan