Your Stupid Quotes

Puck swung the cannon around in anger. The nozzle spun and hit Sabrina in the chest. The force was so pawerful she was knocked right off the platform and fell backward off the tower. She saw sky above her and felt the wind in her hair. How ironic, she thought, as she fell to her certain death, that at that moment she would have given anything to be a giant goose again.
Air rushed past Sabrina's ears and suddenly she felt her back tingling again. A moment later she was hanging upside down, inches from the ground. She looked up to find her savior, only to find that her her wasn't a person but a long, furry tail sticking out of the back of her pants. It was wrapped around a beam in the tower a kept her swinging there like a monkey.
Puck floated down to her, his wings flapping softly enough to allow him to hover.
"I bet you think this is hilarious. Look what you did to me with your stupid pranks. I have a tail!" she raged.
Puck's face was trembling. "I'm sorry."
"What?" Sabrina said blankly.
"I almost killed you. I'm sorry, Sabrina," he said, rubbing his eyes on his filthy hoodie. He lifted her off the tower and set her on the ground.
"Since when do you care?" Sabrina said, still stunned by the boy's apology. ~ Michael Buckley

When you're jealous, especially of someone else's art or creations you automatically put up these selfish walls that reinforce your stupid ideas. It's hard to pull those walls down and look at what you're hiding. Look at your own weakness and realize that the jealousy came from knowing that you're intimidated by someone else's work, and that when you compare it to your own, you fall short. ~ Joe Rogan

She looked Con up and down ... "I went to do your stupid ass a favor. Next time I'll decline."
She started to turn away when his hand wrapped around her arm to hold her. Rhi looked down at his fingers, then at his face.
"I doona trust you."
"You never have," she responded coolly. "This is nothing new."
He yanked her close so that their faces were inches apart. "If you betray us, there's nowhere you can hid where I won't find you. And kill you."
She smiled, briefly debating putting her lips to his and seeing his reaction. Right before she teleported away, she said, "Kiss my grits. ~ Donna Grant

We've been around for a long time, Mr. Dowell. Longer than you or any of your stupid little friends could ever conceive. Sleeping in the shadows and waiting for the right moment. A disease you might call us. A plague. Evil. From beneath the ground, it rises as it has done many times in the past. ~ Jeyn Roberts

If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.' ~ Jeremy Clarkson

God, San Francisco was such a thief. A lady of the night, a sorceress with her hands out. Every time, all my years as a child, that we crossed the bridge, we had to pay to get in, pay to get out, pay for every little thing. Oakland was free, San Francisco was not. Pay me, pay me. Pay for the Pacific Ocean and the beach. I am expensive, the city always said, so pay me for my wonderful dark treats like the Steinhart Aquarium, with its dark wide hall lit up by tank after tank of bright gold green blue sharks dolphins whales stinger fish, cold-eyed still-as-a-corpse fish that didn't blink or budge when we tapped the thick glass with our fingernails. Pay, the voice said, to whomever took us on Saturday to the Fleischacker Zoo ... the hand of San Francisco reaches out to grab your stupid little nickels and dimes. Pay. Even as I stood in front of the Fat Lady, whose cackling gap-toothed twelve-feet-high, three-feet-wide body made me laugh for a solid hour, even as I collapsed in tears driven out of my eyes by laughter, I understood that the other name for San Francisco wasn't Frisco; it was pay you dumb jerks from Oakland pay. ~ Judy Juanita

Most people would never admit it, but they'd been bitching since they were born. As soon as their head popped out into that bright delivery-room light, nothing had been right. Nothing had been as comfortable or felt so good. Just the effort it took to keep your stupid physical body alive, just finding food and cooking it and dishwashing, the keeping warm and bathing and sleeping, the walking and bowel movements and ingrown hairs, it was all getting to be too much work. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

What the hell? Why not? I am already in so deep I might as well swim down further to see if there is another opening at the bottom. Maybe, I'll reach China. Ah Blow me Alice, who cares about your stupid Rabbit.--from (The Puzzle Factory) ~ Dale W. Reierson

It is better just to get on with the business of living and minding your own business and maybe, if God likes the way you do things, he may just let you flower for a day or a night. But don't go pestering and begging and telling him all your stupid little sins, that way you will spoil his day. ~ Bryce Courtenay

He took her like He took my mother. To torment me! To kill me and keep me alive to live dead! She did this, she let that bastard do this and your stupid loving GOD allowed it!!" ~Solomon Gorge~ ~ Lucian Bane

Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth.

Half the world is starving, and the other's going, 'I don't actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things. ~ Russell Brand

This place where she worked certainly didn't make it look as if she continued to believe her calling was to change the course of American history. The building's rusted fire escape would just come down, just come loose from its moorings and crash onto the street, if anyone stepped on it - a fire escape whose function was not to save lives in the event of a fire but to uselessly hang there testifying to the immense loneliness inherent to living. For him it was stripped of any other meaning - no meaning could make better use of that building. Yes, alone we are, deeply alone, and always, in store for us, a layer of loneliness even deeper. There is nothing we can do to dispose of that. No, loneliness shouldn't surprise us, as astonishing to experience it as it may be. You can try turning yourself inside out, but all you are then is inside out and lonely instead of inside in and lonely. My stupid, stupid Merry dear, stupider even than your stupid father, not even blowing up buildings helps. It's lonely if there are buildings and it's lonely if there are no buildings. There is no protest to be lodged against loneliness - not all the bombing campaigns in history have made a dent in it. The most lethat of manmade explosives can't touch it. Stand in awe not of Communism, my idiot child, but of ordinary, everyday loneliness. On May Day go out and march with your friends to its greater glory, the superpower of superpowers, the force that overwhelms all. Put your money on it, bet on it, ~ Philip Roth

In this one life, this one life that you have to live, you must embrace every moment that creeps into your existence. You must feel every possible emotion to realize you're really alive, you're really living. If you build walls and you hide behind them in fear, you're not embracing moments, you're not actually living. And if you're not living, then you're dead. Maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally, you are non-existent. Why would you want to waste such precious time, non-existing, especially behind a crumby wall? Fear? Fear of what? Fear of something great? Fear of something amazing? Hurt? Fear of pain? Isn't pain what makes us appreciate feelings of absolute happiness and love? Who doesn't want happiness? Let me be the one to tell you that this life is short, it's damn short. So, let go of your grudges, your past, your stupid walls and feel reality. Avoidance is not life. Pain is life, happiness is life, emotion is life. Live your damn life. Stop being dead. Embrace every good feeling in your heart and soul and act on it without the fear of hurt, because undoubtedly hurt will happen, but hurt will also disappear and lead to the most valuable feelings in this world. Regret is not something you want to live with in this short, short life. So follow that tiny fist sized drum in your chest because it is honest and it is true. Take those fucking chances, take them knowing this world is full of opportunity, opportunity for great things, absolutely amazing fucking thi ~ Anonymous

I like you too, Zack," I said, leaning my head against his shoulder, so I could look up at him. "You've sort of had me ... enamored, I guess is the right word ... since we met."
He laughed. "You were enamored with me?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I was. It's sad, but I was completely enamored with you. I blame your eyes, and your stupid guitar playing. I'm a sucker for a guy with a guitar."
"Don't forget my kissable lips," he said, as he kissed my neck, trailing his lips down to my collarbone.
I sighed, a long, deep, satisfied sigh. ~ Monica Alexander

The thing about being an adult that no one tells you growing up is that you don't feel like an adult. All your stupid insecurities and anxieties are still there, only you feel more stupid and insecure about being stupid and insecure because you're not supposed be stupid and insecure anymore. You're supposed to have the answers. You're supposed to know. But we don't always know. And those answers? They're not always easy to come by. Well you know what? I'm done feeling stupid and insecure about feeling stupid and insecure. The truth is, I think part of being an adult is that you stop waiting for yourself to change and you start to accept who you are. ~ Emily Owens MD

If he scratches my baby . . ." Ben tried to scowl, but it didn't take. He seemed relieved. And still hadn't let go of my hand.
I heard a shoe scuff the ground. Shelton and Hi were standing across from Ben and me.
Shelton took a deep breath. "So it's like that, huh?"
"Guys." I felt my stomach lurch. "I know this is weird. Ben and I, we - "
Hi's face was pained. "I don't even get a chance? No shot to say how I feel?"
My head jerked back. "What?"
"So it's all decided." Shelton sullenly kicked a rock, his voice resentful. "What does Ben have that I don't?"
I stared, openmouthed.
Hi dropped to a knee and pinned me with solemn eyes. "I can't hide it anymore, Victoria. You need to know the truth. I love you, too. Forever and ever. I want to be your sweet babushka."
My mind reeled. "Hi, I . . . I didn't - "
"I'm gonna wring your stupid necks." Ben's face was burning.
Hi burst out laughing, rolling away from his kick. I glanced at Shelton, who was trying - and failing - to hold it together.
"I love you, Tory Brennan!" Hi bounced to his feet, ready to bolt at Ben's slightest twitch. "Let me rub your supple feet!"
I covered my face with both hands. "Oh God. ~ Kathy Reichs

There is a joke about a little girl who is filling in a hole in her garden when a neighbor looks over the fence. He politely asks, "Hi! What are you up to?" "My goldfish died," replies the girl tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor asks, "Isn't that an awfully big hole for a goldfish?" The little girl tamps down the soil and replies, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat. ~ Steven Pinker

You're late," said the third bouncer. "The others have already arrived and are
setting up." Ian grunted non-committedly when what he wanted to say was: Of course
we're late. We had to intercept the real catering van. We had to take out the people inside. We
had to hack your stupid staff list ID system. ~ Stephen Hunt

Never expect someone to care for you or to care for your feelings and emotions, Everyone's fucking heartless, people just don't give a damn about your stupid feelings or your boring stories. People only know how to fool you around for their own benefits... ~ Taimoor Madni

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. ~ Elbert Hubbard

What's the big idea?" Sabrina demanded.
"I declared war on you, remember?" Puck said.
Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Is this another one of your stupid pranks?"
Puck sniffed. "You have contaminated me with your puberty virus and you called my villainy into question."
"First of all, puberty isn't a virus," Sabrina said as she fought a tug of was with the Pegasus for her now rather damp pillow."Secondly, I'm sorry if I gave you the itty-bitty baby and boo-boo face. Do you wasnt me to give you a hug?"
Puck curled his lip in anger.
"Oh, now is the baby cranky. Perhaps we should put him down for a nap?"
"We'll see who's laughing soon enough," Puck said. "You see these flying horses?"
"Duh!"
"These horses have a very special diet," Puck said. "For the last two days they have eaten nothing but chili dogs and prune juice."
Sabrina heard a rumble coming from Puck's horse. It was so loud it drowned out the sound of its beating wings. Sabrina couldn't tell if the churn of the sound was worse for the Pegasus but it whined a bit and its eyes bulged nervously.
Puck continued. "Now, chili dogs and prune juice are a hard combination on a person's belly. It can keep a human being on the toilet for a week. Imagine what would happen if I fed chili dogs and prune juice to an eight-hundred-and-fifty-pound flying horse. Oh, wait a minute! You don't have to imagine it. I did feed chili dogs and prune juice to an eight-hundred-and-fifty-po ~ Michael Buckley

Whether you pick well or poorly, the act of choosing carries grief. Leaves you wondering, years later, what life might have been had you chosen differently. . . . Or even wishing you'd simply paused, taken a long, deep breath. Not allowed the personal moment and the pattern of your family and your stupid culture to shove you two-handed from behind, forcing you to stumble unbalanced into the future ~ Charles Frazier

I did throw a lot of eggs into one basket, as you do in your teenage years - 'I am buying these records, I am wearing this'. I did quite a bit of that. You have to do it, wear your stupid shoes, wear your stupid hair. ~ Dylan Moran

It's obvious to me that you don't want to be here," Robert told his daughter.
"What gave it away? The fact that I told you a million times that I didn't want to come? That I didn't want to play your stupid game? That I thought it was cruel and manipulative and a total waste of time?"
"Yes," Robert said. "That. ~ Cassandra Clare

Please forgive me for fighting against us, Gavin. Please forgive me for not fighting for us when I knew we were supposed to be together. Forgive me for being the weak mess I am. But more than anything ... thank you for loving me. Thank you for your dimpled smile and your bottle caps. I'll never be able to look at one without thinking of you. Thank you for your stupid Yankees and your wiseass remarks. Thank you for wanting late night drives and sunset-watching with me. Thank you for wanting the good, the bad, and the in-between. ~ Gail McHugh

What are you going to do for a living? Yea, you're going to have to work because you can't be a housewife. Somebody has to marry you before you can be a housewife. And you, you are a plant. Do you know that? That's all you are if you don't talk. If you don't talk, you can't have a personality. You'll have no personality and no hair. You've got to let people know you have a personality and a brain. You think somebody is going to take care of you all your stupid life? You think you'll always have your big sister? You think somebody's going to marry you, is that it? Well you're not the type that gets dates, let alone gets married. Nobody's going to notice you. And you have to talk for interviews, speak right up in front of the boss. Don't you know that? ~ Maxine Hong Kingston

When I look into all of your stupid faces, I think how fun it will be to pound them into dust."
-Russia ~ Hidekaz Himaruya

What you believe might be wrong; what you don't believe might be right! Don't be sure of things! Doubt! Investigate! Leave your stupid conceit that your belief is an absolute truth! Open your mind to all the possibilities! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

If bad things are happening in your country, remember, the first responsible person is your stupid government! But if you have supported that government, now, you are the first responsible person! So sit down and shut up! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

Great God! What have I turned into? What right have you people to clutter up my life, steal my time, probe my soul, suckle my thoughts, have me for your companion, confidant, and information bureau? What do you take me for? Am I an entertainer on salary, required every evening to play an intellectual farce under your stupid noses? Am I a slave, bought and paid for, to crawl on my belly in front of you idlers and lay at your feet all that I do and all that I know? ~ Henry Miller

Sometimes your fall is not caused by your enemies, but it is caused by your stupid actions, behavior, and bad attitude. ~ De Philosopher DJ Kyos

Adam kept sneering, near a shout now. Yeah, well what about saving him from right now? What about the hell of thinking it's best just to fucking chop your balls off than to have your body somehow betray your stupid fucking belief system? ~ Emily M. Danforth

By the time you are in your thirties, most of the time, you've got a job, you can pay for your rent, you can create this nice world around you. And still, you're only in your thirties - you're not that far away from your twenties, which is when you're making all of your stupid mistakes. ~ Katie Aselton

Hiya, Alex. I missed you tonight."
My gaze rests on Sam. "Yeah, I see how much you missed me."
"Sam? Oh, I don't really like him," she coos, coming close. I can smell the mota radiating off her. "I'm waiting for you to come back to me."
"Not gonna happen."
"Is it because of your stupid chemistry partner?" She grabs ray chin, trying to force me to look at her, her long nails digging into my skin.
I grab both her wrists and pull them aside, all the time wondering how my tough-as-nails ex-girlfriend turned into a tough-as-nails bitch. "Brittany has nothin' to do with you and me. I hear you've been talkin' shit to her."
"Did Isa tell you that?" she asks, her eyes narrowed into slits.
"Just back off," I say, ignoring her question, "or you'll have a lot more to deal with than a bitter ex-boyfriend."
"Are you bitter, Alex? Because you don't act bitter. You act like you don't give a shit."
She's right. After I found her sleeping around, it took me a while to get over it, get over her. I wondered what other guys were giving her that I couldn't.
"I used to give a shit," I tell her. "I don't now. ~ Simone Elkeles

A PRESCRIPTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP Max Booth III A Prescription for Shut the Fuck Up Refills Left: Unlimited For: Your Stupid Face TAKE THREE TABLETS DAILY OR, REALLY, ANY TIME YOU THINK ABOUT OPENING THAT GODDAMN MOUTH OF YOURS CHILLPILL 50 MG. 50MG Dr. Sick of Hearing Your Voice Discard After: You learn how to interact with actual human beings. WARNING: MAY CAUSE EMPATHY ~ Meghan Arcuri

I wish I didn't love your stupid ass so much. ~ Santino Hassell

Robinson's discussion with God:

"Tell me what it's like."
"What what's like?"
"To be God."
"Like, how do you mean?"
"Like, how does it make you feel to know you've created the planet earth and all its inhabitants. Do you feel proud? Sad? Embarrassed? Humbled? Mortified?"
"The truth? I feel imposed upon. I feel like an exhausted father whose needy children never grew up. Do you know what I'd like to see? Honest to me, this would make me the happiest guy on earth. I'd like to see everyone just take responsibility for themselves. Stop seeking my favor with your expensive churches, synagogues, mosques and temples. And quit wasting your time expecting me to solve all your problems. Am I the numbskull who created all your stupid problems? No, all I ever did was plant a handful of seeds. I'm not the one who cheats, lies, plunders, steals, hoodwinks, bribes, and scratches and claws his backward way through the unfaithful to his loving spouse or who is disrespectful to his parents. And I'm not the one who rapes and pollutes oceans, mountains, valleys, rivers, lakes, deserts, and mesas. I'm not the one who's slaughtering all the whales in the seas, and I'm certainly not the one who's spreading AIDS, shooting innocent people with handguns and assault rifles, or overpopulating the planet. I'm not even responsible for acts of God. So what of the forest fires, earthquakes, hurricanes and tornados? You can thank dear Mother Nature for these so-called act ~ Mark Lages

Forceful little thing, aren't you?"
"You have no idea. So we doing this or not?"
Those lush lips twitched. "Let me get this straight. We're going to the bathroom, and I'm going to fuck you, and you don't even care to know my name?"
"I'd actually prefer it if you'd keep your stupid mouth closed." Oops. Her hatred was slipping out.
"Well, well. You might just be my soul mate. ~ Gena Showalter

She's dying?!" "What?!" "He didn't say that!" "Let me evaluate the severity of her injuries!" "Dude, get your stupid medical bag." "It's not so stupid now that we need it, is it?!" "Shut the bloody hell up and get the bag! ~ A&E Kirk

I already told you, I'm not gonna subscribe to your stupid magazine!' she yells.
'We're not selling anything,' Jake calls back. 'We just came to see my favorite chula this side of the Mississippi.'
The girl pauses and shields her eyes to get a better look. 'Jacob? That you?'
'In the flesh,' he confirms with a broad grin. ~ Hannah Harrington

I let you in." He reentered my space, as if he could do nothing else. "I let you get close, so I could get closer to Verisetti. Stupid."
"And here I thought my power was half the draw," I said evenly.
"Your stupid sense of loyalty. Your stupid trust. Your brilliance. You are my weakness. And I thought I had gotten rid of those. ~ Anne Zoelle

Maybe I liked your stupid face ~ Leigh Bardugo

If he doesn't come out soon and tell us what's going on, I am going in there."
A rush of relief flooded Harper at the sound of Drea in the hallway.
"As much as you think she loves you, shortcake, she loves him a bit more. Give them a minute."
Trent laughed. Harper opened her eyes and looked at him. "My money is on Drea," she whispered.
"Can you get your stupid frigging arms off me?"
Drea and Cujo burst through the door. Cujo's arms were wrapped tightly around Drea's middle, and the angle she was bending his fingers back to release his grip had to hurt.
"I tried to stop her but it's like getting a feral cat into a shoe box." Cujo let out a grunt and let Drea go. Harper looked from Cujo to Drea, desperate to bury the laugh she could feel brewing. ~ Scarlett Cole

I said, "Jesse, don't flatter yourself that I did this for you. I mean, it has been nothing but one giant pain in the neck, having you for a roommate. Do you think I like having to come home from school or from work or whatever and having to explain stuff like the Bay of Pigs to you? Believe me, life with you is no picnic."
He didn't say anything. He just kept pulling me along.
"Or what about Tad?" I said, bringing up what I knew was a sore subject. "I mean, you think I like having you tag along on my dates? Having you out of my life is going to make things a lot simpler, so don't think, you know, I did this for you. I only did it because that stupid cat of yours has been crying its head off. And also because anything I can do to make your stupid girlfriend mad, I will."
"Nombre de Dios, Susannah," Jesse muttered. "Maria's not my girlfriend."
"Well, she certainly used to be," I said. "And what about that, anyway? That girl is a full-on skank, Jesse. I can't believe you ever agreed to marry her. I mean, what were you thinking, anyway? Couldn't you see what she was like underneath all that lace? ~ Meg Cabot

Do not blame God for your stupid decisions. ~ Laura Schlessinger

Called her a whore and attacked her walls, tearing down her posters and throwing her books everywhere. I found out because some whitegirl ran up and said, Excuse me, but your stupid roommate is going insane, and I had to bolt upstairs and put him in a headlock. ~ Junot Diaz

Sometimes both your mind and thoughts are paying the cost of your stupid heart. ~ M.F. Moonzajer

I want to make you faint. I will make you faint. You've had this coming to you for years. None of the fools you've known have kissed you like this - have they? Your precious Charles or Frank or your stupid Ashley ... I said your stupid Ashley. Gentlemen all - what do they know about women? What do they know about you? I know you. ~ Margaret Mitchell

Not long after I'd first met Doc, we were sitting on our rock on the hill behind the rose garden and I had asked him why I was a sinner and what I had done to be condemned to eternal hell fire unless I was born again.
He sat for a long time looking over the valley, and then he said, :Peekay, God is too busy making the sun come up and go down and watching so the moon floats just right in the sky to be concerned with such rubbish. Only man ants always God should be there to condemn this on and save that one. Always it is man who wants to make heaven and hell. God is too busy training the bees to make honey and every morning opening up all the new flowers for business."He paused and smiled "In Mexico there is a cactus that even sometimes you would think God forgets. But no, my friend, this is not so. On a full moon in the desert every one hundred years he remembers and he opens up a single flower to bloom. And if you should be there and you see this beautiful cactus blossom painted silver by the moon and laughing up at the stars, this, Peekay, is heaven.: He looked at me, his deep blue eyes sharp and penetrating. "This is the faith in God the cactus has". We had sat for a while before he spoke again. "it is better just to get on with the business living and minding your own business and maybe, if God likes the way you do things, he may just let you flower for a day or a night. But don't go pestering and begging and telling him all your stupid little sins, that way you will ~ Bruce Courtenay

Bree grit her teeth and lunged for him but Brian held her back and Will spoke up instead. "You go away!" Will cried back angrily. "I know you did sumting dat made my mommy mad at my daddy. Is you fault!" "I suggest you put a muzzle on your brat and get back in the living room," Bernardo ordered. "Careful, Father. This is none of your concern," Alessandro said. "Are you kidding me?" Bree asked. "Of course this is his concern because he's the only one you give a damn about. You'll do anything for him. Absolutely anything even if it means betraying me or Will or God forbid Gianni." "That is not true. I would never - " "It is true!" Bree yelled. "Everything you've done has proven that." "Look, every marriage has problems and that is no reason to turn back on the vows you made to each other," Bernardo pointed out. "You made a promise to honor the terms of the O'Reiley/Dardano vendetta. Be careful before you renege on those vows, Mrs. Dardano." "You and your stupid vendetta!" Bree hissed. "Begun by a man who couldn't handle the fact that he couldn't have what he wanted! God it must be genetic. Well, I guess I shouldn't blame you, Alessandro. Knowing Bernardo and Adriano, at least you come by it honestly. ~ E. Jamie

Yes, alone we are, deeply alone, and always, in store for us, a layer of loneliness even deeper. There is nothing we can do to dispose of that. No, loneliness shouldn't surprise us, as astonishing to experience as it may be. You can try yourself inside out, but all you are then is inside out and lonely instead of inside in and lonely. My stupid, stupid Merry dear, stupider even that your stupid father, not even blowing up buildings helps. It's lonely if there are buildings and it's lonely if there are buildings and it's lonely if there are no buildings. There is no protest to be lodged against loneliness⎯not all the bombing campaigns in history have made a dent in it. The most lethal of manmade explosives can't touch it. Stand in awe not of Communism, my idiot child, but of ordinary, everyday loneliness. ~ Philip Roth

Nico danced around like he needed to use the restroom. "Does Zeus really have lightning
bolts that do six hundred damage? Does he get extra movement points for - "
"Nico, shut up!" Bianca put her hands to her face. "This is not your stupid Mythomagic game,
okay? There are no gods! ~ Rick Riordan

Are you all right? I know last night was kind of scary."
"I just didn't expect it. It was asparagus ... He literally punched someone over a vegetable."
Kile laughed. "See, this is why you stick with butter."
"Oh, you and your stupid butter." ~ Kiera Cass

Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life ... you give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. ~ Neil Gaiman

Save your stupid for later! ~ Tahereh Mafi

[T]he horrible thing about all legal officials, even the best, about all judges, magistrates, barristers, detectives, and policeman, is not that they are wicked (some of them are good), not that they are stupid (several of them are quite intelligent), it is simply that they have got used to it. Strictly they do not see the prisoner in the dock; all they see is the usual man in the usual place. They do not see the awful court of judgment; they only see their own workshop. ~ G.K. Chesterton

He said a fortuneteller had told Mum's fortune once, and after that, she's never gone out on sea again. It was years ago, but she never has. Not once." said Conner
"What did the fortuneteller say?" I asked
"Dad wouldn't tell me. It must have been something really bad though."
"maybe the fortuneteller said that Mum would die by drowning." I suggested.
"Don't be stupid Saph. A fortuneteller wouldn't ever say that to someone. You're going to drown, that'll be ten pounds please ~ Helen Dunmore

Forgive me. I know it all seems stupid now, but I don't want to take anything for granted anymore. Forgive me for hurting you. Forgive me for not trusting you. I took my pain out on you and I'm so sorry. I was selfish, and I hurt you, and I'm so sorry.

- Ella ~ Tahereh Mafi

The greatest power of bureaucracies is to make the smart act stupid and the good to act evil. ~ Raul Ramos Y Sanchez

I just paint to fulfill an urge. When I don't have the urge, I just don't paint. This is not some stupid contest. But if it is, I feel like the winner that came in last. ~ Jim Rowe

Wait a second," Four says. I turn toward him, wondering which version of Four I'll see now-the one who scolds me, or the one who climbs Ferris wheels with me. He smiles a little, but the smile doesn't spread to his eyes, which look less tense and worried.
"You belong here, you know that?" he says. "You belong with us. It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay?"
He scratches behind his ear and looks away, like he's embarrassed by what he said.
I stare at him. I feel my heartbeat everywhere, even in my toes. I feel like doing something bold, but I could just as easily walk away. I am not sure which option is smarter, or better. I am not sure that I care.
I reach out and take his hand. His fingers slide between mine. I can't breathe.
I stare up at him, and he stares down at me. For a long moment, we stay that way. Then I pull my hand away and run after Uriah and Lynn and Marlene. Maybe now he thinks I'm stupid, or strange. Maybe it was worth it. ~ Veronica Roth

I'd rather watch SpongeBob with with Kimmy than talk to you. At least that stupid yellow sponge tries to make sense. ~ Lora Leigh

[Lynda's mother] You're stupid and you don't know it, that's you're problem. You talk, talk, talk, all the time. No one wants to listen to an idiot.

[Young Lynda] Uh. OK. Thanks, Mom. ~ Lynda Barry

I believe he [Saddam Hussein] wants a better relationship with America. ~ Louis Farrakhan

It's not fair, men get to go off and chase around the country and get medals for doing stupid things and women get to sit home and worry. ~ Nancy E. Turner

A bolt of lightning speared down into the lake, followed by a clap of thunder so loud Norah swore she felt the lighthouse quake.
"Jeez," she said, shrinking back against Trip and not feeling stupid about it because it was nice to have a strong man around at a time like this. "Did you feel that?"
"Like the earth moved? That was nothing." And he spun her around and took her mouth. ~ Penny McCall

Let me take once again a rough parable. Suppose I advertised in the papers that I had a place for any one who was too stupid to be a clerk. Probably I should receive no replies; possibly one. Possibly also (nay, probably) it would be from the one man who was not stupid at all. But suppose I had advertised that I had a place for any one who was too clever to be a clerk. My office would be instantly besieged by all the most hopeless fools in the four kingdoms. To advertise for exceptions is simply to advertise for egoists. To advertise for egoists is to advertise for idiots. It is exactly the bore who does think that his case is interesting. It is precisely the really common person who does think that his case is uncommon. It is always the dull man who does think himself rather wild. To ask solely for strange experiences of the soul is simply to let loose all the imbecile asylums about one's ears. ~ G.K. Chesterton

I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty-two states. ~ Raquel Welch

The Second law of human stupidity: The probability that a certain person be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person ~ Carlo M. Cipolla

Sometimes when someone says something so devastatingly perfect, there isn't a need for a response. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Calvin: If you could wish for anything, what would it be?
Hobbes: A big sunny field to be in.
Calvin: A STUPID FIELD?! You've got that now! Think BIG! Riches! Power! Pretend you could have ANYTHING!
...
Calvin: Actually, its hard to argue with someone who looks so happy.
Hobbes: Z ~ Bill Watterson

Racism is stupid. It's an insult to God, arrogantly implying that God goofed-up when he chose to make us all different. ~ Rick Warren

And I am nothing if not a stupid, stupid man. ~ Paul Auster

I really thought twice about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when that came in. I always was of a mind that it's an inherently stupid idea to put something like that in a glass case. ~ Elvis Costello

I've been consistent in patches this season. ~ Theo Walcott

I caught malaria, and the medicines caused a hallucination. I dreamt I won an Oscar for acting. I know it sounds stupid, but it was so real, and I just knew then it would happen. ~ Rebel Wilson

And she imagined how things could be later. It was stupid, but the picture just appeared in her mind. Abel and Magnus shoveling snow together ... in twenty years, in thirty. Magnus had grown old, his broad back still strong but bent from time, his hair nearly white at the temples. And Abel ... Abel was a different Abel, an adult one, one who was absolutely self-confident and didn't let his eyes dart around the room at lunch, as if he were caught in trap.
"Nonsense," she whispered. "Thirty years? You don't stay with the person you meet at seventeen ... what kind of fairy tale are you living in, Anna Leemann?"
And still the picture seemed right. ~ Antonia Michaelis

In a stupid society, a clever man can come into the power; but in a clever society no stupid can come into the power! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

Only the stupid and the phlegmatic should teach. ~ Willa Cather

She was the type of woman who caused men to do stupid shit they would later look back on with disbelief. ~ Scott Hildreth

Perhaps a normal man is supposed to be stupid-how do we know? Perhaps it's even very beautiful. ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky

Swearing is, as I have said, learning to the ignorant, eloquence to the blockhead, vivacity to the stupid, and wit to the coxcomb. ~ Mary Collyer

She thought: When we are two, they do not notice us. They think us a match. What wisdom does a mob have? It is a hydra, an organism, stupid or dangerous in much of its behaviour, but could it have, in spite of this, a proper judgement about which of its component parts fit best together? ~ Peter Carey

Who thinks his great achievements poor
Shall find his vigour long endure.
Of greatest fulness, deemed a void,
Exhaustion ne'er shall stem the tide.
Do thou what's straight still crooked deem;
Thy greatest art still stupid seem,
And eloquence a stammering scream. ~ Lao-Tzu

You stupid, conceited fool! You know nothing! You're like a child, blind to everything but its own empty stomach! Well, grow up, Carl, and join the real world. Until you do, for God's sake leave me be! ~ Amanda Browning

P.S. If you do not receive this, of course it must have been miscarried; therefore I beg you to write and let me know. ~ Boyle Roche

That passivity in me has been the core of it all, the real evil. That weakness, that refusal to compromise a fractured and stupid morality, that awful pride! For that, I let myself become the thing I am, when I knew it was wrong. For that, I let Claudia become the vampire she became, when I knew it was wrong. For that, I stood by and let her kill Lestat, when I knew that was wrong, the very thing that was her undoing. I lifted not a finger to prevent it. And Madeleine, Madeleine, I let her come to that, when I should never have made her a creature like ourselves. I knew that was wrong! Well, I tell you I am no longer that passive, weak creature that has spun evil from evil till the web is vast and thick while I remain its stultified victim. It's over! ~ Anne Rice

She then played a short 5-second clip of Gruber, saying the following, that a part of the Obamacare passed because 'the American people are too stupid to understand the difference.' ~ Alexander Viets Griswold