Humorous Inspirational Quotes

Darcy rolled the quill between his fingers and looked with benign pity upon his cousin. "You should, you know. It's a wonderful feeling to be the head of your home, with a wife who adores you and whom you adore in return."

Fitzwilliam whipped out his pocket watch. "Oh, look at that. I have to run."
Ignoring him, Darcy turned his face to the fire, a besotted look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. "It's a good feeling to care for your family and their well-being. It makes you finally grow up, I can tell you." He sighed deeply and began attacking his figures once more, his mind filled with unlimited love and joy, thinking on his upcoming paternal responsibilities. "I myself find women to be unbelievably wonderful creations."

"I suppose you will continue with this treacle even as I beg you to stop."

"Well, think about it…" Darcy continued, looking up from his work.

Fitzwilliam groaned.

"They give back to you double and triple whatever little you hand them."

"I think I'm going to be ill, Darcy. Please stop."

"You hand them disparate items of food, and they give you back a wonderful meal. You provide them with four walls and a floor, and they give you back a loving home. You give them your seed," Darcy's eyes misted, his voice choked with emotion. "You give them your seed, and they give you back the most precious thing of all - a child…" They sat in silence together.

"And God help you if ~ Karen V. Wasylowski

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. ~ Kinky Friedman

BELIEVE so DEEPLY that you no longer question that it is possible ~ Lugene Hessler Hammond

Although life and I are not always in love with each other, we do remain on close speaking terms. ~ Brian Randleas Harmony

Without craziness, there is no courage. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

I don't care how impossible it seems. ~ David Byrne

What you know
and don't deny that
you don't know
and knowing this
you know
what and why
you don't know.
Right? ~ Jennifer Hillman

Now, Jasper, as a great man once said, 'A brave and steadfast heart can overcome any fear.' So don't worry. I'll be back with Benelaius shortly. In the meantime, look about for clues, only don't disturb anything.
[ ... ]
I knew only too well who that great man was whom he spoke of. Camber Fosrick. I had committed the quote to memory as well. So Lindavar, one of the War Wizards of Cormyr, was addicted to trashy literature too. I would have chuckled had I not been so scared. ~ Chet Williamson

Don't tell me you have OCD about this?"
"OCD, ADHD - pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I'd have it. ~ Cyma Rizwaan Khan

Leaders are ultimately there to oversee. You will find many who should do this or that. Let them do it; give them your support and authority. Don't forget to give them the credit later. ~ Christian Michael

You know you have succeeded as a parent when you find yourself taking advice from your children. ~ Raymond C. Nolan

You gotta want it. ~ Bill Murray

You are only limited by your own imagination ~ Benny Bellamacina

Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know where you might wake up. ~ Ridley Pearson

Vegans are always wrong, but damn pleased with themselves ~ Rasmussen

You know you're having a bad week when you call 911, the paramedics come to your house, and one of them notices you've rearranged your furniture. ~ Cherie Kephart

Q: When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?
A: I hate this question, because the answer makes me look like a jerk. The answer exposes me as a jerk. But here it is: the first time I read Twilight, I thought to myself, "If this chick can write a book, then you can!"
One day, Stephanie Meyer is going to give me a bloody nose. I accept that like I accept that I will one day get wrinkles.
To Stephanie Meyer: Could you come at me from the right side?
That side of my face could use adjusting ... ~ Anna Banks

The person who thinks dogs can't talk doesn't want to learn a second language. ~ Mark Winik

To exemplify, -a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, has outlived all the storms of autumn. Not a puncture, not a weak spot any where. -This nut ... while so many of its brethren have fallen and been trodden under foot, is still in possession of all the happiness that a hazel-nut can be supposed capable of. ~ Jane Austen

The pen can be just as dangerous as a sword... At least while walking. ~ A.J. DeJong

People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble. ~ Stephen King

Wait. Are you about to do something really stupid? -GUARD ~ Pittacus Lore

I've become remarkably good at blocking impossibly bizarre happenings from my consciousness. Denial can be a beautiful thing. ~ M.A. George

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!! ~ Neil Leckman

I saw the statue completely different now. I'd decided that he wasn't pointing to anything or anyone. Now all I could see was that he was reaching out his hand to someone. For me that explained the expression on his face that I'd never quite been able to understand before.

He was hopeful and nervous and scared and a little bit proud of himself for doing it - extending his hand to someone, not knowing if they'd take it. This was, I had realized, one of the scariest things of all, requiring much more courage than sailing across an ocean and landing on an unknown shore

At least that's what I saw. Clark and Tom's new theory was that he was a time traveler who'd somehow been transported to the past and was just trying to hail a cab. ~ Morgan Matson

Life is like a fondue: the best fruit ain't the best till it's been through some goo. ~ Jack Bunbury

Wear flannel next to your skin, and never believe in eternal punishment. ~ Julian Barnes

Put down that bottle and pickup an Oreo instead ... youll live longer! #JustSaying ~ Timothy Pina

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese. ~ Eoin Colfer

Most prayers are not really questions ... and if we listen very closely, a prayer is often its own answer ... We pray because we are here - not to change the world, but to change ourselves. Because it is when we change ourselves ... that the world is changed. ~ Douglas Wood

When you want what you want more than you fear what you want, you will have it. ~ Alan Cohen

With one considerate word, you could give someone hope. Or with one careless word, you could destroy hope. ~ Matthew Roland

You can overcome any big task by converting it into smaller, manageable tasks and then following self-discipline to do all of those small tasks. ~ SuccessCoach Nilesh

Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. ~ David McCullough Jr.

Every thought is a potential reality. ~ Debasish Mridha

There's a certain term - existential loneliness- which describes the loneliness that you can feel no matter how many people you are with, no matter how close you are to them or how much they love you; when you understand that you are completely alone in this world. ~ Tatiana Vedenska

The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives is to think we work for anybody but ourselves. ~ Brian Tracy

Men have a mission to win; women have a passion to love. ~ Debasish Mridha

Many of us have things backwards. We believe that we have to wait to create the circumstances we want in life and rack up a lot of successes so we can finally relax. Actually, it works the other way around. We should leave where we are and move to where we ultimately dream of living, whether it's Boulder, Santa Monica, Chicago, or Tibet. Then once we're there, we'll figure out ways to fashion a livelihood that will enable us to survive and to prosper from there. Paradise shouldn't wait, and happiness shouldn't either. ~ Gary Goodman

To write is to transform that inward gaze into words, to study the worlds into which we pass when we retire into ourselves, and to do so with patience, obstinacy, and joy. ~ Orhan Pamuk

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. ~ Thomas Carlyle

Angels are like diamonds. They can't be made, you have to find them. Each one is unique. ~ Jaclyn Smith

Humility is the only defence against vanity ~ Steven Aitchison

His problem was the eternal question: What should he be? Inventor, scientist, artist - the energy he felt surging through him, an energy far more than physical and yet pervading the restlessness of his body, was a burden to him until he could find the path for its release. ~ Pearl S. Buck

~ Today fill your heart with knowing of your brilliance ~ ~ Tracy R.L. O'Flaherty

Rosa Lee," he said, "with the privilege to vote - to choose - we can change things, even put our own people in power. ~ Linda Williams Jackson

Love never dies, it become the wealth of the universe when we die. ~ Debasish Mridha

The ability to continue moving when you are feeling scared, fearful or lazy is the sign of true mental strength. ~ Matthew Donnelly

Mother Nature is our teacher - reconnecting us with Spirit, waking us up and liberating our hearts. When we can transcend our fear of the creatures of the forest, then we become one with all that is; we enter a unity of existence with our relatives - the animals, the plants and the land that sustains us. ~ Sylvia Dolson

You have to go to bed wiser than you got up. As you try to master what you are trying to do - people who do that almost never fail utterly. Very few have ever failed with that approach. You amy rise slowly, but you are sure to rise. ~ Peter Bevelin

Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not. ~ Henry Fielding

As cliche as this sounds, no one is going to live your life for you. You owe it to yourself to pay attention to what makes you happy and to do it. You have to trust your inner barometer of pleasure, and tune your life to that. ~ Joshua David Swift

Joy and happiness are the treasures of life and it comes when we appreciate and express gratitude for the abundance of our life. ~ Debasish Mridha

The bottom line is that you only have the rights you fight for. ~ Tim Ferriss

There's only one thing you can do: Toss your pebble in the river, watch it ripple, and know you have moved the ocean. ~ K.M. Douglas

Zach found himself remembering something he'd heard Soledad and Leo saying the previous night, about healing. That it was mysterious. That it took time. And that Lucy was just at the beginning. That a terrible thing had happened - two terrible things, really - but they were now over.
And that Lucy would be okay, in the end. ~ Nancy Werlin

Dream today for a brighter tomorrow. ~ LaShaunda Davis

It is very much, she thinks, like looking at the moon and knowing one could make it there, too. It is only time and breath that stand between her and the top. She is young. She'll do it and have done it. ~ Dave Eggers

Let me hear your voice; and I'll tell you who you are. ~ Kristian Goldmund Aumann

Why do people seek one and not the other? It is the majorities that are led and they normally follow those who can help them meet their ever-present and growing needs. Question is, do you possess the kind of solutions they want? Are you well positioned to reach them or to be reachable by those who can benefit from your solution to their challenges? ~ Archibald Marwizi

Artists use your artistree, and poets your poetree - for your blood is my chlorophyll distilled. ~ S.J. Cameron

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit terrified. The fact was, I could either let my fear of the unknown make me a victim, or take control of my career.
There wasn't really a choice in the matter.
You don't get to live your dreams by waiting around for someone to hand them to you.
Or at the very least, you hold on to them for dear life when others try and take them away. ~ Mariana Zapata

If you walk on sunlight, bathe in moonlight, breathe in a golden air and exhale a Midas' touch; mark my words, those who exist in the shadows will try to pull you into the darkness with them. The last thing that they want is for you to see the wonder of your life because they can't see theirs. ~ C. JoyBell C.