Humor Werewolf Quotes

Colby better not bring me home Bambi, or I just might want to divorce him ~ Jody Morse

Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer. ~ Kevin Hearne

So, let me guess. You want me to give you flea baths?" They all wagged their tails excitedly at the idea. ~ Jody Morse

From what I see, there are only two types of pack members--the hierarchy who are power hungry and the peons who are power less. - Cody Forester, Wolfsbane Brew ~ Roxanne Smolen

Death was hardest on the living. - Cody Forester, Wolfsbane Brew ~ Roxanne Smolen

Have a Werebeast free day!" - Lucy Lowell ~ Bonita Gutierrez

Of course not," Colby replied. "What's mine is yours, and what's yours is, well . . . yours. ~ Jody Morse

I love talking to spirits. Maybe we can try contacting Marilyn Monroe or Elvis Presley next. ~ Jody Morse

Change back to your ugly self before I change your face for you, Logan said, Silver Frost. ~ Kailin Gow

Dammit, Trotter. Don't try to make a stinking Christian out of me. ~ Katherine Paterson

There's not a lot of other stuff I admire about his content, but there's something about Howard Stern and his perseverance in a very difficult industry. He does tickle me in certain ways with humor. ~ Ashleigh Banfield

At 5.45 a.m. the important scientists finished their coffee and played rock paper scissors to see who had to phone the government. ~ Mitch Benn

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram." ~ Rita Rudner

Do you have any strix-pertinent information or not, O Wise Projectile?"
The arrow buzzed, no doubt trying to access Wikipedia. It denies using the Internet. Perhaps, then, it's just a coincidence the arrow is always more helpful when we are in an area with free Wi-Fi. ~ Rick Riordan

One thing a girl has to have is a good sense of a humor. I'm a really laid back guy who can find humor in just about anything, so my girlfriend would need to be a little like that too. She doesn't have to be a big jokester, but to me finding humor in things and not taking too much too seriously is a way of enjoying life, so that is important to me. ~ Logan Lerman

I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. ~ Shannon L. Alder

When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?"
"We like it here," Jason said. "It reminds us of home."
"Plus, no women around." Leandro Collins, the Bears' first-string tight end emerged from the office munching on a bag of chips. "There's times when you need a rest from the ladies."
Annabelle shot out her arm and smacked him in the side of the head. "Don't forget who you're talking to."
Leandro had a short fuse, and he'd been known to take out a ref here and there when he didn't like a call, but the tight end merely rubbed the side of his head and grimaced. "Just like my mama."
"Mine, too," Tremaine said with happy nod.
Annabelle spun on Heath. "Their mother! I'm thirty-one years old, and I remind them of their mothers."
"You act like my mother," Sean pointed out, unwisely as it transpired, because he got a swat in the head next. ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies? ~ Kathy Reichs

Every success has a beginning, which is zero ~ Shaunak Chakraborty

What are your pleasures and pursuits, Lord Moncrieffe?" Miss Eversea asked too brightly, when the silence had gone on for more than was strictly comfortable or polite.
That creaky conversation lubricant. It irritated him again that she was humoring him.
"Well, I'm partial to whores."
Her head whipped toward him like a weather-vane in a hurricane. Her eyes, he noted, were enormous, and such a dark blue they were nearly purple. Her mouth dropped, and the lower lip was quivering with shock or ... or ...
"Whor ... whores ... ?" She choked out the word as if she'd just inhaled it like bad cigar smoke.
He widened his own eyes with alarm, recoiling slightly.
"I ... I beg your pardon - Horses. Honestly, Miss Eversea," he stammered. "I do wonder what you think of me if that's what you heard. ~ Julie Anne Long

You're in a rather odd mood today."
I'm soaking wet, Eloise."
No need to snap at me about it, I didn't force you to walk across town in the rain."
It wasn't raining when I left,". There was something about a sibling that brought out the eight-year-old in a body.
I'm sure the sky was gray,"
Clearly, she had a bit of the eight-year-old in her as well. ~ Julia Quinn

Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer. ~ Frankie Boyle

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues" ~ Demetri Martin

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Jan 7 at 7:23 AM
Subject: Re: Really?
On the Tumblr-you mean creeksecrets? .....
But I really don't think I'm wrong.
Jacques a dit. Right?
-Blue

So, Yeah, I've been careless. I guess I left a trail of clues. and I shouldn't be surprised that Blue put them together. Maybe I kind of wanted him to.

Jacques a dit is "Simon Says" in French, by the way, And it's obviously not as clever as I thought it was. ~ Becky Albertalli

I was diagnosed a thirteen. Paranoid got tacked on about a year later, after I verbally attacked a librarian for trying to hand me propaganda pamphlets for an underground communist force operating out of the basement of the public library. (She'd always been a very suspect type of librarian--I refuse to believe donning rubber gloves to handle books is a normal and accepted practice, and I don't care what anyone says.) ~ Francesca Zappia

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. ~ Steven Wright

But a system made secure by the protective plating of humor and pretense always runs the risk of having its protection get out of hand. A relationship based on jokes invites jokes; jokes about anything
and jokes about anything are now and then bound to cut too close to the truth. ~ Ken Kesey

What goes up must come down, unless a dragon eats it. ~ Brian Rathbone

. 'Because off-duty cops walk around the city wearing sweatshirts advertising they're cops all the time, never mind it's a hundred degrees outside. And never mind you look like the youngest cop ever recruited in the history of policing.'
He tsks at me. 'Have you never seen 21 Jump Street? ~ Sarah Alderson

To Garan's credit, the treatment of Dellian prisoners did change after that. One particularly laconic man, after a session in which Fire learned positively nothing, thanked her for it specifically. "Best dungeons I ever been in," he said, chewing on a toothpick.
"Wonderful," Garan grumbled when he had gone. "We'll grow a reputation for our kindness to lawbreakers. ~ Kristin Cashore

Humor is tragedy plus time. ~ Mark Twain

No one else understands us 7th sense people. They regard us as freaks. When we point out illiterate mistakes, we are often aggressively instructed to 'get a life' by people who, interestingly, display no evidence of having lives themselves. ~ Lynne Truss

I hear the chipper voice of the Church magazines chirping in my brain: You're in a relationship with a boy who treats you as his emotional and spiritual equal. You feel a desire to express your affection through physical acts that will bring mutual pleasure. Do you (a) go for it! Sex is a natural gift from God, and a lot of fun so long as you do it safely!; (b) get him to propose! Sex is only fun if you do it in a Church of America-approved union! Plus, babies are so cute!; or (c) seek guidance from your local pastor for your sinful thoughts and ask for tips on expressing your love in a holy, nonphysical way? TRICK QUESTION! The answer is (d) the fact that you even momentarily considered having sex out of wedlock proves that you have no place in God's eternal kingdom, you reprehensible slut. ~ Katie Coyle

I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what I know. ~ Neil Gaiman

Hey, Captain Neckbeard! Less talky-talky, more worky-worky! Wednesday shouted rudely down at the man who had been changing the tire. She wasn't planning on taking shit from a tow truck driving hick today or any other day. ~ Dennis Sharpe

Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror. ~ Pappy Boyington

We're just going to have to wait for-" Then she saw us, and looked Ian over, in his flannel shirt and jeans. "The Brawny paper-towel guy. ~ Katherine Center

For me, the best thing about Cyberpunk is that it taught me how to enjoy shopping malls, which used to terrify me. Now I just imagine the whole thing is two miles below the moon's surface, and that half the people's right-brains have been eaten by roboticized steel rats. And suddenly it's interesting again. ~ Rudy Rucker

On a far-flung parcel of government land situated somewhere in the vast reaches of parched American western desert sits an abandoned and long forgotten government facility known as Lost Cactus. That is what the shadowy agency ~ that operates there to this day ~ wants everyone from presidents on down to John Q. Public to believe. ~ John Hopkins

Therefore was I created with a stubborn outside, with an aspect of iron, that when I come to woo ladies, I fright them. But, in faith, Kate, the elder I wax, the better I shall appear. My comfort is that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. Thou hast me, if thou hast me, at the worst, and thou shalt wear me, if thou wear me, better and better. ~ William Shakespeare

And in the fountain squatted a giant crab.

I'm not talking 'giant' like $7.99 all-you-can-eat Alaskan king crab. I'm talking 'giant' like bigger than the fountain. ~ Rick Riordan

A good wife would have sorted him out and put him on the right road..." There comes that right road again. I wonder where it is? Imogen thought ~ Jean Stubbs