Dan Humphrey Funny Quotes

You have to decide whats most important to you. Keeping your pride and getting nothing or taking a risk and maybe, maybe having everything. ~ Dan Humphrey

Don't disappear. Become unavoidable. XOXO GOSSIP GIRL ~ Dan Humphrey

Taste of metal on my tongue. Poison the color of envy-
I'm delirious, you're delicious, I'm deluded and delusional.
I'm lost without you. I need you. ~ Cecily Von Ziegesar

What's going to be funny is when they think Mom and Dad are a little bit cool, because right now, we're not cool Mom and Dad. ~ Angelina Jolie

First, I thought Twitter was some kind of hybrid car being developed by Government Motors. Then I thought it was a new bite-size snack combining what's best of the Frito and the Cheeto. Then I found out it was me. On a laptop. At the U.S. Open. Having fun. ~ Dan Jenkins

Anyone can create a job for themselves. But not everyone can change the world ~ Dan Norris

If you write a bad book, mobs do not show up with pitchforks and torches - and odds are you didn't write something bad. ~ Dan Alatorre

I hated meatloaf. It was like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. So I told Mom because I was honest that way. I sat back, squared my shoulders, and met her eyes, all confident-like.
Mom, meatloaf's like something that Satan pooped out after an eternity of constipation. It should be outlawed, frankly, and serving it for dinner is like child abuse and should carry with it some pretty stiff penalties. ~ Hayden Thorne

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. ~ Paul Fix

From my close observation of writers ... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review. ~ Isaac Asimov

Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts. ~ Eoin Colfer

I'm not going to be remotely funny. ~ Kyra Sedgwick

I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first to see if she would read that too. ~ Mitch Hedberg

What is it?" There is almost nothing I could refuse him at this

very moment. Sex on the picnic bench? Check. Strip off and do the

Macarena on the grass? Check. Crawl under the table and do naughty

things? Not much experience in that department, but…check. Ride off

into the sunset? Double check. ~ Sarah Castille

Porches could be cleaned with a broom in a few minutes, but the soul could not be swept. It had to be shaken. And shaking the loess from a soul took a lifetime and more strength than most people had. ~ Dan Groat

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names. ~ Rita Rudner

One percent of people will always be honest and never steal," the locksmith said. "Another one percent will always be dishonest and always try to pick your lock and steal your television. And the rest will be honest as long as the conditions are right - but if they are tempted enough, they'll be dishonest too. Locks won't protect you from the thieves, who can get in your house if they really want to. They will only protect you from the mostly honest people who might be tempted to try your door if it had no lock". ~ Dan Ariely

It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with. ~ Lindsay Lohan

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school. ~ Peter De Vries

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up. ~ Matt LeBlanc

I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny. ~ Seth Rogen

The key is to forget about automation and figure out what you can do manually. ~ Dan Norris

Isn't it funny how something that will later be a blessing can be a curse if you get it too soon. ~ T.D. Jakes

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. ~ Laurence J. Peter

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. ~ Phyllis Diller

honesty and dishonesty are based on a mixture of two very different types of motivation. On the one hand, we want to benefit from cheating (this is the rational economic motivation), while on the other, we want to be able to view ourselves as wonderful human beings (this is the psychological motivation). ~ Dan Ariely

The fewer moving parts, the better." "Exactly. No truer words were ever spoken in the context of engineering. ~ Christian Cantrell

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Don't you think you're quite young?'
'I'm twenty-one,' said Brida. 'If I wanted to start learning ballet, I'd be conseidered too old. ~ Paulo Coelho

Above all, don't lie to yourself." – Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

"I don't want to die without any scars." – Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

"Not all those who wander are lost." – J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." – André Gide, Autumn Leaves

"If you're making mistakes it means you're out there doing something." – Neil Gaiman, Make Good Art

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." – Paulo Coelho, Brida

"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives."
– Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

"The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." – Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

"I dream. Sometimes I think that's the only right thing to do." – Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

"If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all." – John Green, Paper Towns

"Everything is possible. The impossible just takes longer." – Dan Brown, Digital Fortress

"Fear is an illusion..." - Dark Templar, Starcraft 2 ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

It's great when somebody is able to communicate an actual shot sequence to you and you know the world you're inhabiting with that. It's literally a haunting tune. ~ Dan Stevens

If companies really want their workers to produce, they should try to impart a sense of meaning - not just through vision statements but by allowing employees to feel a sense of completion and ensuring that a job well done is acknowledged. At the end of the day, such factors can exert a huge influence on satisfaction and productivity. ~ Dan Ariely

If you're not sure what to do with the ball, just pop it in the net and we'll discuss your options afterwards. ~ Bill Shankly

They were exactly the same morons that laugh like hyenas in the movies at stuff that isn't funny. I swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I'd hate it. I wouldn't even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. ~ J.D. Salinger

A run is more difficult to make than no save, because batting is in its nature a far less certain and reliable thing than bowling and fielding. ~ Ranjitsinhji