Baseball Bat Quotes

I opposed the war in Iraq because I did not believe it was in our national security interest, and I still don't. What we [America] did was akin to taking a baseball bat to a beehive. Our primary security threat right now is terrorism
and by doing what we did in Iraq, we've managed to alienate a good part of the world and most of the allies whose intelligence and other help we need to combat and defeat terrorism. ~ Jerry Springer

the person who did this to you is broken. Not you.
The person who did this to you is out there,
choking on the glass of his chest.
It is a windshield
and his heartbeat is a baseball bat:
regret this, regret this.

Nothing was stolen from you.
Your body is not a hand-me-down.
There is nothing that sits inside you holding your worth,
no locket that can be seen or touched,
fucked from your stomach to be left on concrete. ~ Sierra DeMulder

Next time you want to hit me
hit me with a baseball bat or a crowbar! ~ Stephenie Meyer

But something about having Ali there made him feel...lighter. Dare he admit it? Maybe even a teensy bit happy?

"Nate?"

Scratch that. He didn't just want to take on the world when she said his name like that, he wanted to take on the whole friggin' galaxy. ""Yeah?"

"I'm toughing you."

No doubt about that. The baseball bat he was trying to conceal behind his zipper was testimony enough. "I noticed. ~ Julie Ann Walker

It's like someone breaks your arm, and the person who slammed the baseball bat into it is saying, "The only reason it won't heal is because you keep complaining that it hurts." How about you get me a cast so the bone can set straight again? America does not want to put the effort into providing this cast. This is why we must talk about race, and we must do it openly. As ~ Luvvie Ajayi

Dear Anyone: This is a letter from one anyone to another anyone, no names required, because nobody really knows anyway. Names don't make a hell of a lot of difference. The world is made up entirely of strangers. Millions and millions of them. Everyone is a stranger to everyone else. Sometimes we think we know other people, especially those we supposedly are close to, but if we really knew them, why are we so often surprised by the shit they do? Like, parents are always surprised by what their kids will do. They raise them from the time they are babies, spend each and every day with them, think they're these goddamn fucking angels, and then one day the cops come to the door and say hey, guess what parents? Your kid just bashed some other kid's head in with a baseball bat. Or you're the kid, and you think things are pretty fucking OK, and then one day this guy who's supposed to be your dad says so long, have a nice life. And you think, what the fuck is this? So years later, your mom ends up living with another guy, and he seems OK, but you think, when's it coming? That's what life is. Life is always asking yourself, when's it coming? Because if it hasn't come for a long time, you know you're fucking due. All the best, Anyone. ~ Linwood Barclay

During all that time I didn't see Willie. I didn't see him again until he announced in the Democratic primary in 1930. But it wasn't a primary. It was hell among the yearlings and the Charge of the Light Brigade and Saturday night in the back room of Casey's saloon rolled into one, and when the dust cleared away not a picture still hung on the walls. And there wasn't any Democratic party. There was just Willie, with his hair in his eyes and his shirt sticking to his stomach with sweat. And he had a meat ax in his hand and was screaming for blood. In the background of the picture, under a purplish tumbled sky flecked with sinister white like driven foam, flanking Willie, one on each side, were two figures, Sadie Burke and a tallish, stooped, slow-spoken man with a sad, tanned face and what they call the eyes of a dreamer. The man was Hugh Miller, Harvard Law School, Lafayette Escadrille, Croix de Guerre, clean hands, pure heart, and no political past. He was a fellow who had sat still for years, and then somebody (Willie Stark) handed him a baseball bat and he felt his fingers close on the tape. He was a man and was Attorney General. And Sadie Burke was just Sadie Burke.

Over the brow of the hill, there were, of course, some other people. There were, for instance, certain gentlemen who had been devoted to Joe Harrison, but who, when they discovered there wasn't going to be any more Joe Harrison politically speaking, had had to hunt up a new friend. The new friend ha ~ Robert Penn Warren

Is his eyesight really that bad?"
"Worse," Liam said. "So right after we got the hell out of Caledonia, we broke into this house to spend, right? I woke up in the middle of the night hearing the most awful noise, like a cow dying or something. I followed the wailing, clutching some kid's baseball bat, thinking I was going to have to bad someone's head in for us to make a clean getaway. Then I saw what was sitting at the bottom of the drained pool."
"No way," I said.
"Way," he confirmed. "Hawkeye had gone out to relieve himself and had somehow missed the giant gaping hole in the ground. Twisted his ankle and couldn't climb out of the deep end. ~ Alexandra Bracken

Death doesn't bother me but murder makes me edgy, and my lack of weaponry suddenly felt like a potentially fatal mistake. If we got back to the hotel alive, I wasn't coming back here again without my knife and the baseball bat. And maybe a tank, if I could find one fast enough. ~ Seanan McGuire

When you die, every single muscle in your body hurts. Your body has closed down because it thinks it's done, and when it gets rebooted, every inch of you hurts. Plus I'd had the shit beaten out of me with a baseball bat. ~ Nikki Sixx

No, I would not say that assault with a baseball bat constitutes "justice being done. ~ Garth Ennis

I'm from Boston, and in Boston, you are born with a baseball bat in your hand. And actually, most of the bats in Massachusetts are used off the field instead of on the field, and we all had baseball bats in our cars in high school. ~ Eli Roth

Sure, I hung out around Red Witch Bridge in the middle of the night, but that was in the cover of the trees with an urban legend and a baseball bat as weapons. ~ Francesca Zappia

I grew up in the '60s, which was a creative time, so it wasn't that big of a stretch to go from a baseball bat to a guitar to a film camera. ~ Abel Ferrara

I think you intentionally overreacted. Like killing a fly with a baseball bat, just to make sure it never bothers you again. ~ Kelley Armstrong

If someone wants to lead a double life, they will find a way to do it. And they can promise you things until your nerves unfold and you can finally put up your feet. But it can all be a lie. There are no guarantees, even when people mean what they say at the time. People change their minds. People die. And the hurt is as real as a baseball bat. ~ Stephanie Klein

I didn't know if I still had it in me to be really dangerous, but I thought so. It's like knocking someone off a bike with a baseball bat; you never really lose the knack. ~ Simon R. Green

I've been on 'Criminal Minds' twice! On the first show, a boy brought kids out to the woods and was beating them with a baseball bat, but I got away. Then they brought Tracy, my character, back - as a kidnapped girl. They saved me two times! Tracy lived! ~ Elle Fanning

Desandra shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that he's got the biggest dick ever?" She spread her arms to the size of a baseball bat.
"No, you think it would work?" I asked.
"It's worth a try. May be he'll be so happy you noticed his pork sword, he'll forget all about trying to kill us."
Pork sword. Kill me now. "I'll think about it."
Ascanio began patting his clothes.
"What?" Derek growled.
"Looking for something to take notes with. ~ Ilona Andrews

There are some people who might look better if you smacked them in the head with a baseball bat. ~ Jared Leto

You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You're sacking them. You're bagging them. And that's what you're doing with a quarterback. ~ Deacon Jones

When she returned, she smiled and said, "We were at the movies once, and this dork took two phone calls during the film. Later we followed him, and Andre broke both his legs with a baseball bat."
This proved that even the most evil people could occasionally have a socially responsible impulse. ~ Dean Koontz

Okay. Right. Horror meets romance meets erotica meets fantasy meets hip hop. Throw in some leather and some Miami Ink shit, stir with a baseball bat and a tire iron, sprinkle on some baby powder, and serve over a hot bed of Holy-Mary-mother-of-God-this-has-to-work-or-I'm-going-to-be-a-lawyer-for-the-rest-of-my-natural-life.
No problem."
(J.R. Ward on the elements of writing the Black Dagger Brotherhood) ~ J.R. Ward

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game. ~ Andy Rooney

If you want to end darkness you cannot beat it with a baseball bat, you have to turn on a light. ~ Marianne Williamson

One night I went over to get some dope from some Hollywood tough guy. After I left, my son Scott, who was only fifteen, went over with a baseball bat to kill him. I was laughing out of one eye and crying out of the other. I thought, Who am I kidding? ~ James Caan

Hadn't we said no kissing in the house?
Not that the rule had stopped us from kissing in the game room last night after we'd finished our ice cream.
"I'm still craving the flavor of chocolate chip cookie dough," he'd said.
So of course, I'd let him sample.
But it had been . . . stressful.
Because every time the house creaked, we were looking at the French doors expecting to see Dad standing there with a baseball bat in hand. ~ Rachel Hawthorne

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling "You want a piece of me? ~ Robin Williams

Yeah we're not together anymore. She has got - she has got a new boyfriend now. They just moved into together. And I've heard rumors that he is abusive, which makes you want to go over there with a baseball bat. And then blame it on her boyfriend. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

I got scars on my face that tell some kind of story. I'm looking in the mirror, and I got one scar that's really two scars - half from a baseball bat and half from playing football in college. I'll tell you, though, after a while, your face gets so wrinkled up you can hardly see them. ~ Kris Kristofferson

Bolick. "Mrs. Finnemore was sound asleep in the downstairs bedroom, she heard nothing, and at some point she got up to check on April. That's when she realized she was gone." Theo looked at Mrs. Finnemore, who again shot him a fierce look. He knew the truth, and she knew he knew the truth. Trouble was, Theo couldn't tell the truth because he'd made a promise to April. The truth was that Mrs. Finnemore had not been home for the past two nights. April had been living alone, terrified, with all the doors and windows locked as tightly as possible; with a chair jammed against her bedroom door; with an old baseball bat across the end of her ~ John Grisham

Of course I'm going to the front door like a stupid chick in a horror movie," he muttered. On his way to the door, he doubled back and grabbed a baseball bat from the closet. "Now I just have to remember not to go outside and ask if anyone is there. ~ Amanda Hocking

The only proper response to privilege is to grip it like a baseball bat and shatter injustice with all of your might. ~ Stephanie Elizondo Griest

If somebody is really trying to take your head off with a baseball bat - I don't know how long you're supposed to stand there and turn the other cheek, so he or she can get a better angle at taking your head off. ~ Maya Angelou

Principles are what people have instead of God.
To be a Christian means among other things to be willing if necessary to sacrifice even your highest principles for God's or your neighbour's sake the way a Christian pacifist must be willing to pick up a baseball bat if there's no other way to stop a man from savagely beating a child.
Jesus didn't forgive his executioners on principle but because in some unimaginable way he was able to love them.
'Principle' is an even duller word than 'Religion'. ~ Frederick Buechner

The questions came ... hurling at him ... like the balls from a baseball pitching machine ... just one after the other without a care or concern of where they went - but he couldn't hit them, he didn't have a baseball bat - he only had a toothpick! ~ Mallika Nawal

Please tell me that's a baseball bat in your pocket and not your cock. Because if that is mini-Fear, I think it's safe to predict which one of us will be the one getting fucked in this relationship. ~ River Mitchell

They took a baseball bat and whacked open his head. Mummy Boy fell to the ground; he finally was dead. Inside of his head were no candy or prizes, just a few stray beetles of various sizes. ~ Tim Burton

The beanball is one of the meanest things on Earth and no decent fellow would use it. The beanball is a potential murderer. If I were a batter and thought the pitcher really tried to bean me, I'd be inclined to wait for him outside the park with a baseball bat. ~ Walter Johnson

If I ever modelled for Calvin Klein I'd give myself to a flock of fans to beat me silly with a baseball bat. ~ Joey Jordison

The Golf Hall of Fame is full of players with unusual looking swings. Some of the prettiest swings you've ever seen in your life are made on the far end of the public driving range by guys who couldn't break an egg with a baseball bat. ~ Peter Jacobsen

Your friend is most original,' Dan Needham said, with the greatest respect. 'Don't you see, Johnny? If he could, he would cut off his hands for you - that's how it makes him feel, to have touched that baseball bat, to have swung that bat with those results. It's how we all feel - you and me and Owen. We've lost a part of ourselves.' And Dan picked up the wrecked armadillo and began to experiment with it on my night table, trying - as I had tried - to find a position that allowed the beast to stand, or even to lie down, with any semblance of comfort or dignity; it was quite impossible. The thing had been crippled; it was rendered an invalid. And how had Owen arranged the claws? I wondered. What sort of terrible altarpiece had he constructed? Were the claws gripping the murderous baseball?
And so Dan and I became quite emotional, while we struggled to find a way to make the armadillo's appearance acceptable - but that was the point, Dan concluded: there was no way that any or all of this was acceptable. What had happened was unacceptable! Yet we still had to live with it. ~ John Irving

To enter the past is like poking a baseball bat into a spiderweb: it can't be done subtly or delicately. ~ Robert Silverberg

A baseball bat could not have hit me harder than that smile did. I was sixteen years old. In that time, how many thousands of smiles had been aimed at me? so why did this one feel like the first? ~ Jerry Spinelli

I really wasn't sure if I wanted this guy knowing where I lived. After all, he was wielding a baseball bat, and I had just seen him strike several people with that bat. ~ Holly Hood

If I had a baseball bat and bulldozer, maybe I could stop him. But without real weapons, without a pistol, a man-eating lion, and a vial of bubonic plague, I had zero change of competing against him. ~ Sherman Alexie

Spooky things happen in houses densely occupied by adolescent boys. When I checked out a four-inch dent in the living room ceilingone afternoon, even the kid still holding the baseball bat looked genuinely baffled about how he possibly could have done it. ~ Mary Blakely

He'd fallen in love with Quinn slowly, quietly. With Dima, it was like a baseball bat upside the head, these feelings. They completely swamped him, made him want different things, made him want to be different. ~ Avril Ashton

The first day after the merger, Brad got a call from a worried female employee, who whispered, "There is a guy in here with suspenders walking around with a baseball bat in his hands, taking swings." That turned out to be Carlin's CEO, Jeremy Frommer, who, whatever else he was, was not RBC nice. One of Frommer's signature poses was feet up on his desk, baseball bat swinging wildly over his head while some poor shoeshine guy tried to polish his shoes. ~ Michael Lewis

brace covered his neck. Dark, fingerless gloves covered his hands to allow a better grip on his shotgun. An aluminum baseball bat was slung across his back, Samurai-style, in a crude scabbard next to a large backpack He ~ Keith C. Blackmore

He leaned deeper toward me and said softly, "I'm gonna tell you what I make of this. What I make of it, Gwendolyn, is if my woman had a sister who I knew was in some serious shit, she would not be havin' a chat with Kane Allen, she would not be sleepin' alone and therefore she would not ever have to worry about whether she needs a baseball bat of crowbar because she'd be in bed beside me." Mitch Lawson ~ Kristen Ashley

When you go into a room, you knock first. If you start asking people questions and they start tilting back in their chairs, it means they don't want to talk about it. It means if you look at something on their computer screens, they're likely to knock your brains out with a baseball bat. ~ Carol Plum-Ucci

They faced each other in silence for a long minute, both of them clearly uncomfortable. He hated all the awkwardness between them.
To hell with that. He smiled at her. "So do I get to know what's in that diary?"
She blushed crimson. "That diary got you into this mess. You could have been killed. How can you joke about it?"
"No joke. I'm sincerely interested." An understatement. He would have given his antique baseball bat collection to know what she'd written about him ten years ago.
"I was a foolish teenager."
"And now?" He stepped closer. ~ Dana Marton

A husband? A psychopathic stalker? Frank's mind whirled with images of her being raped in the parking lot by some Neanderthal with a baseball bat while he lay bleeding and unconscious on the gravel next to her. ~ Pete Kahle

Ah wonder if anybody this side of the Atlantic has ever bought a baseball bat with playing baseball in mind. ~ Irvine Welsh

i get why manufacturers play to pink- it makes good business sense. A marketing executive i spoke with at LeapFrog which is based in Emeryville, California, told me that her company even had a name for it> the pink factor.
If you make a pink baseball bat, parents will buy one for their daughter, she explained. then if they subsequently have a son, they'll have to buy a second bat in a different color. Or, if they have a boy first and then a daughter, they'll want to buy a pink one for their precious little girl. Either way, you double the sales. ~ Peggy Orenstein

I look in the mirror and I don't see a sex symbol. I just see a guy who looks like he's been beaten with a baseball bat. I mean, is this the face of a sex symbol? They say that because I work in the movies. ~ Javier Bardem

Then, as she turned to walk away, Fred dropped the guillotine."So we're making Ev CEO," he said, his fork clenched in his hand. "You're going to get a passive chairman role and a silent board seat. We have some paperwork for you and a recommendation for a lawyer."Jack felt like he had just been hit in the face with a baseball bat. "Say that again," he stuttered to Fred, thinking he had heard incorrectly.Fred repeated himself almost verbatim: We're making Ev CEO. You're getting a passive chairman role. You will have a silent board seat. Here's the paperwork. Call a lawyer. ~ Nick Bilton

The proliferation of state concealed carry laws has evidently reduced the rate of violent street crime to a considerable extent. When the goblins do not know who is armed and who is not, their professional enthusiasm declines. Now that Britain has made sure (insofar as any law can so insure) that everybody is disarmed, the streets arem given back to the bad kid with the baseball bat. We hope they are satisfied. ~ Jeff Cooper

One guy wore nothing but a Speedo. He'd painted himself blue and was armed only with a baseball bat. Across his chest were the words COME AT ME, BRO. ~ Rick Riordan

So, a crash course for the amnesiac," Leo said, in a helpful tone that made Jason think this was not going to be helpful. "We go to the 'Wilderness School'" - Leo made air quotes with his fingers. "Which means we're 'bad kids.' Your family, or the court, or whoever, decided you were too much trouble, so they shipped you off to this lovely prison - sorry, 'boarding school' - in Armpit, Nevada, where you learn valuable nature skills like running ten miles a day through the cacti and weaving daisies into hats! And for a special treat we go on 'educational' field trips with Coach Hedge, who keeps order with a baseball bat. ~ Rick Riordan

It is the difference between hitting with a pillow and hitting with a baseball bat. ~ William Brohaugh

It seems the baseball player of today will not be satisfied until he plays two weeks in the big league and is able to retire at twenty-two. ~ Joe Garagiola

Moneyball. As the character played
by Jonah Hill argues convincingly to Brad Pitt's character,
baseball teams often overpay for young, untested talent or big
name players because they don't know how else to set an accurate price. ~ Grewal

The modern era of Cape Cod baseball dawned in 1963 when the league became a showcase for the collegiate elite. ~ Jane Leavy

My dad talks about the times when we'd play backyard cricket: If I got bowled out, I'd just refuse to let go of the bat and swing it at anyone who tried to take it away from me. I like to think that's been tempered a bit over the years. ~ Chris Hemsworth

Finally, for all of us but a lucky few, the dream of playing big-time baseball is relinquished so we can get on with grown-up things. ~ John Thorn

I don't want my picture in any cigarettes, but I also don't want you to lose the ten dollars, so I'm enclosing my check for that sum. ~ Honus Wagner

The only way I can't hit .300 is if there's something physically wrong with me. ~ Pete Rose

If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats? ~ Prince Philip

I find the world pretty overwhelming, so I'm getting into meditation and doing lots of yoga. And I love my garden, and I love nature, and I feel like that grounds me and keeps my mind clear. ~ Bat For Lashes

I've been lucky. I've met a lot of baseball people, and I've learned to value people who talk - people who talk well and in long sentences and even long paragraphs. ~ Roger Angell

In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home. ~ George Carlin

Baseball was my main sport, but I peaked when I reached high school and so my baseball career stopped. ~ George Winston

Don't worry about your individual numbers. Worry about the team. If the team is successful, each of you will be successful, too. ~ Branch Rickey

I love both sports, but the deciding factor was, being a left-handed pitcher, I had a huge advantage in baseball because of that, and I didn't have that type of advantage in hockey. ~ Tom Glavine

For instance, a new kind of rich person named John Henry bought the Florida Marlins in January 1999. Most baseball owners were either heirs, or empire builders of one sort or another, or both. Henry had made his money in the intelligent end of the financial markets. He had an instinctive feel for the way statistical analysis could turn up inefficiencies in human affairs. Inefficiencies in the financial markets had made Henry a billionaire - and he saw some familiar idiocies in the market for baseball players. ~ Anonymous

Thank God for baseball. ~ Mickey Mantle

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. ~ George Bernard Shaw

I wasn't really serious about acting - I was serious about baseball. ~ Kurt Russell

Making love is like hitting a baseball. You just gotta relax and concentrate. ~ Susan Sarandon

I'm a man of some intelligence. I've had some education, passed the bar, practiced law. I've been a teacher and I deal with men of substance, statesman, business leaders, the clergy ... So why do I spend my time arguing with Dizzy Dean? ~ Branch Rickey

You're more like dun-dun-na-NAH Romantic Man whose superpower is hopeless romanticism. Your bat signal would be a big red heart over Gotham. ~ Violet Duke

I was lucky enough to have the talent to play baseball. That's how I treated my career. I didn't think I was anybody special, anybody different. ~ Carl Yastrzemski

Baseball is the best announcer game, the game that I first enjoyed playing, and the game I had a passion for. ~ Dick Enberg

My eight years in Detroit, obviously, were my most successful years managing. I think that Pittsburgh and Detroit are probably very, very similar. We kinda rekindled the fire of baseball in Pittsburgh. We did the exact same thing in Detroit. ~ Jim Leyland

At a Dodger baseball game in Los Angeles, I asked Will Durant if he was ninety-four or ninety-five. "Ninety-four," he said. "You don't think I'd be doing anything as foolish as this if I were ninety-five, do you?" ~ Norman Cousins

The first thing baseball wants to do is make you a superstar and then say that you owe baseball something. I don't owe baseball anything. Baseball owes me. ~ Hank Aaron

You can't compare me to my father. Our similarities are different. ~ Dale Berra

I've always played hard. If that's rough and tough, I can't help it. I don't believe there's any such thing as a good loser. I wouldn't sit down and play a game of cards with you right now withing wanting to win. If I hadn't felt that way I wouldn't have got very far in baseball. ~ Rogers Hornsby

A mystique of history and heritage surrounds the New York Yankees. It's like the old days revived. We're loved and hated, but always in larger doses than any other team. We're the only team in any sport whose name and uniform and insignia are synonymous with their entire sport all over the world ... the Yankees mean baseball to more people than all the other teams combined. ~ Paul Blair

Does one eat peanuts at a ball game?' 'It ain't hardly legal if you don't. ~ Edna Ferber

You can keep going on and on about the interactions of people, which makes it a great drama and great event, and you'll always hold that special, but if you're looking at a baseball moment, the feeling you get when you win the World Series by far exceeds anything else in the game that you're able to do. ~ Cal Ripken, Jr.

A school library is like the Bat Cave: it's a safe fortress in a chaotic world, a source of knowledge and the lair of a superhero.

True, the superhero is more likely to be wearing a cardigan than a batsuit, but still... ~ Tom Angleberger

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too. ~ Roy Campanella

Let the pitcher move first, then, as he draws his arm back, you draw the bat back and you are ready. ~ Paul Waner

Those eyes, they've got a history with mine. They were the first things I saw when I came to, after being hit in the skull with a baseball thrown by Patrick at Little League. They were the fortification I needed at sixteen to ride the chairlift at Sugarloaf, although I am terrified of heights. For almost my whole life, they've told me I'm doing all right, during moments when it was not in my own power to answer. ~ Jodi Picoult

The game of baseball is made up of many little things. If we do all the little things right, then we'll never have a big thing to worry about ~ Cal Ripken, Sr.

Taking the best left-handed pitcher in baseball and converting him into a right fielder is one of the dumbest things I ever heard. ~ Tris Speaker

Some kinds of animals burrow in the ground; others do not. Some animals are nocturnal, as the owl and the bat; others use the hours of daylight. There are tame animals and wild animals. Man and the mule are always tame; the leopard and the wolf are invariably wild, and others, as the elephant, are easily tamed. ~ Aristotle.