Prince Philip Quotes

You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.

You bloody silly fool!

Do you work in a strip club?

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

The more people there are, the more food we need, the more space we occupy, the more resources and consumer goods we wish to have and the more development has to take place

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

Constitutionally I don't exist.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

The conservation of nature, the proper care for the human environment and a general concern for the long-term future of the whole of our planet are absolutely vital if future generations are to have a chance to enjoy their existence on this earth

I am full of admiration for the technologists who have developed all sorts of gadgets for the purpose of improving communications. However, I believe that all these fascinating machines are complementary to, and not substitutes for, books and the printed word.

British women can't cook.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

We are suffering a national defeat comparable to any lost military campaign, and what is more, it is self- inflicted? It is about time that we pulled our fingers out? The rest of the world most certainly does not owe us a living.

So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

The world population 60 years ago was just over 2 billion and it's now more than 6 billion. This huge increase - an explosion really - has probably done more harm to the environment than anything else.

I have very little experience of self-government. In fact, I am one of the most governed people in the world.

It doesn't look like much work goes on at this university.

Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.

Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it. Change is a challenge and anopportunity, not a threat.

If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats?

If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion.

You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?

In the days when the nation depended on agriculture for its wealth it made the Lord Chancellor sit on a woolsack to remind him where the wealth came from. I would like to suggest we remove that now and make him sit on a crate of machine tools.

I therefore suggested that WWF should invite leaders from the major religions to meet together to discuss what - if any - responsibility they felt they had for the natural environment as a "sacred" entity.

I don't know how they're going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield.

It seems to me that it's the best way of wasting money that I know of. I don't think investments on the moon pay a very high dividend.

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.

I would like to go to Russia very much - although the bastards murdered half my family.

The French don't know how to cook breakfast.

Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.

There's a lot of your family in tonight.

You look like you're ready for bed!

It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.

It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.

I just wonder what it would be like to be reincarnated in an animal whose species had been so reduced in numbers than it was in danger of extinction. What would be its feelings toward the human species whose population explosion had denied it somewhere to exist. I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus.

What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

We don't come here for our health.

"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."

If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

You managed not to get eaten then?

You're not wearing mink knickers,are you?

They have eating dogs for the anorexic now.

But we are not going to be able to survive on this limited planet if the population keeps on growing: there isn't going to be anything left.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.

Who is going to be the first to face up to the need for self-restraint in the number of children brought into the world?

Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed ... We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.

There is nothing like it for morale to be reminded that the years are passing - ever more quickly - and that bits are dropping off the ancient frame. But it is nice to be remembered at all.

The biggest waste of water in the country by far. You spend half a pint and flush two gallons.

There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.

It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons.

I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.

You have mosquitoes. I have the Press.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

And what exotic part of the world do you come from?

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

Tolerance is the one essential ingredient ... You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing ... simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect

Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education.

It's a pleasure to be in a country that isn't ruled by its people.

It is an old cliche to say that the future is in the hands of the young. This is no longer true. The quality of life to be enjoyed or the existence to be survived by our children and future generations is in our hands now.

My favourite subject at school was avoiding unnecessary work.

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.

So who's on drugs here? ... HE looks as if he's on drugs.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then?

It's a vast waste of space.