Unique But Funny Quotes

Cricket is a most precarious profession; it is called a team game but, in fact, no one is so lonely as a batsman facing a bowler supported by ten fieldsmen and observed by two umpires to ensure that his error does not go unpunished. ~ John Arlott

In public, we speak and act by culture;
In private, we speak and act by nature.
In public, we dress ourselves by culture;
In private, we show ourselves by nature.

Funny but if we want to win respect,
we must behave as what the norms expect,
that the moment we do what nature says,
we risk being seen as without finesse. ~ Rodolfo Martin Vitangcol

Busy, busy, busy, is what we Bokonists whisper whenever we think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.
But all I could say as a Christian then was, "Life is sure funny sometimes."
"And sometimes it isn't," said Marvin Breed. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor'
always fun to be around but she doesn't have any patience for suffering unless it's her own. ~ Chelsea Handler

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list? ~ Frank Carson

Woman is the opposite, the 'other' of man: she is non-man, defective man, assigned a chiefly negative value in relation to the male first principle. But equally man is what he is only by virtue of ceaselessly shutting out this other or opposite, defining himself in antithesis to it, and his whole identity is therefore caught up and put at risk in the very gesture by which he seeks to assert his unique, autonomous existence. Woman is not just an other in the sense of something beyond his ken, but an other intimately related to him as the image of what he is not, and therefore as an essential reminder of what he is. Man therefore needs this other even as he spurns it, is constrained to give a positive identity to what he regards as no-thing. Not only is his own being parasitically dependent upon the woman, and upon the act of excluding and subordinating her, but one reason why such exclusion is necessary is because she may not be quite so other after all. Perhaps she stands as a sign of something in man himself which he needs to repress, expel beyond his own being, relegate to a securely alien region beyond his own definitive limits. Perhaps what is outside is also somehow inside, what is alien also intimate - so that man needs to police the absolute frontier between the two realms as vigilantly as he does just because it may always be transgressed, has always been transgressed already, and is much less absolute than it appears. ~ Terry Eagleton

People are funny sometimes, and that includes me. Every now and then we do or don't do something and we can't explain it, not even to ourselves. But do it anyway. ~ Gil Miller

We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups. ~ Deborah Tannen

One of the things that is always difficult about a collaboration is that you don't necessarily find the same thing funny. And so the challenge becomes, how do you tell the other person that you don't think something's funny? The best collaborations tend to be when you are willing to be told that. But there's also ego involved, and so there's a lot of frustration in knowing that you're writing something, and the other person, on some level, needs to think that it's funny. ~ Michael Showalter

Roses are read, violets are blue; I'm using my hand, but I'm thinking of you. ~ L.A. Casey

A funny thing happens when more than one knitter gathers in a public place. A solo knitter, presuming she is a woman, quickly fades into the backdrop like a potted palm or a quietly nursing mother. ... A single knitter is shorthand for "nothing to see here, move on."

But when knitters gather, we become incongruously conspicuous. We are a species that other people aren't used to seeing in flocks, like a cluster of Corgis, a dozen Elvis impersonators waiting for the elevator. ~ Clara Parkes

You always felt destined for stardom of one kind or another. But the fear that maybe that wasn't true wouldn't leave you alone. That you were no more than the classes you'd taken, the schools you'd attended, the books you'd read, the languages you spoke, your scholarships, your master's thesis on Borges and the English writers, and so on, but nobody unique, with a talent only your own. You were desperate for something that was yours alone. I was yours alone, but that isn't what you meant. ~ Francisco Goldman

Listen - life is really going on, right now, around us. Do you see it? Sometimes I lose it but if I sit still and listen, it comes back, and then I think, How funny, this is what being alive is. ~ Robin Morgan

It's funny because when I first met with Carmen, she said, "Have you ever thought about doing TV?" And I was like, "No, not really, but I'd audition for TV." And she said, "That's where the roles are for women now. That's where you can go and get a really great part." ~ Eve Hewson

Sometimes, I must admit, I'd like to have a second guitarist onstage with me, but it wouldn't look right. I'd like to play for another 20 years, but I don't know ... I just can't see it happening. I don't know why. It's a certain foreboding ... a funny feeling ... vultures. ~ Jimmy Page

What do you want, MacGuffin, a duel?"
"No." Julian held out both hands, one palm flat, the other held over it in a fist. "Rock, paper, scissors. Two out of three."
Ty rolled his eyes and held out his fist, apparently willing to play. Julian hit his palm three times, and Ty kept time with his fist in the air. But when Julian threw a paper, Ty reached into his jacket with his other hand and pulled his gun, aiming it at Julian.
"Ty!" Zane said in exasperation from the front seat.
"Glock, paper, scissors. I win."
"You are an ass," Julian muttered. ~ Abigail Roux

I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all. ~ Roseanne Barr

That we are in here not to correct the deformation but to accustom ourselves to it: that one of our problems was our inability to recognize and accept our own deformities. Just as each person has certain idiosyncrasies in the way he or she walks, people have idiosyncrasies in the way they think and feel and see things, and though you might want to correct them, it doesn't happen overnight, and if you try to force the issue in one case, something else might go funny. ~ Haruki Murakami

I hadn't read any of the books before, but I have since we started. It's so funny because I'm reading a book of a person that I'm playing. Then, here's this person that she's in a relationship with and, what we're shooting now, we're not in a relationship. I'm getting a prequel and a history to these people in the book. It's very odd. It's very weird because it's like The Twilight Zone. ~ Angie Harmon

But - why would she break up with you? Why was she crying?" At this, I laugh again.
" Because I," I say, pointing at myself, "am a monster."
Kenji looks confused. " And how is that news to anyone?"
I smile. He's funny, I think. Funny guy. ~ Tahereh Mafi

Was already different because I was a twin. Funny how you can say that: I am a twin. Not I am one of twins, but I actually am A Twin. Like there's two of me all the time, this other one right here beside me whether you can see him or not. Or as if you're saying, I'm a Half. ~ Niall Williams

I had My Little Ponies. I was obsessed with the idea of a creature that was born with something magical that sort of made them the misfit in the world of the stallion. I'm actually quite obsessed with unicorns. They are in essence a mythical creature. The unicorn is born magical and it's not the unicorn's fault and it doesn't make it any more or less special or any less unique but it can't help that it was born with that magic. ~ Lady Gaga

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. ~ Tommy Cooper

Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting. ~ Jim Jefferies

Grace studied her hands as they moved across the meat. They looked much like any others the same age - veined, lined, the backs stained with tea-coloured spots. But they'd felt their way through the past seventy years in unique ways. Much of their work had been to the benefit of others, some not. She'd known them as still, listening hands, but also as hands that moved with urgency and madness. For a while they'd been careful nurse's hands. Then hands that cradled three babies and clapped, tickled and taught in turn. She'd bruised, burnt and cut them; some scars suggested badly. They'd dismissed, beckoned, pleaded over the years, and not always successfully. Their goodbyes were too many to recall. ~ Sally Piper

four hundred years before us, four hundred years after we're gone - it'll never strike anybody the same way and the great majority of people it'll never strike in any deep way at all but - a really great painting is fluid enough to work its way into the mind and heart through all kinds of different angles, in ways that are unique and very particular. Yours, yours. I was painted for you. And - oh, I don't know, stop me if I'm rambling…" passing a hand over his forehead.… "but Welty himself used to talk about fateful objects. Every dealer and antiquaire recognizes them. The pieces that occur and recur. Maybe for someone else, not a dealer, it wouldn't be an object. It'd be a city, a color, a time of day. The nail where your fate is liable to catch and snag. ~ Donna Tartt

My sweet strawberry,
Your frowning eyebrows, almond eyes, pomegranate lips and cherry nail fingers
Does not make me love you limitless
Nor your sweet smiles, lovely jokes, and charming glances
It is you; that makes smile sweet, glances lovely and eyes gorgeous
Over and over again I see thousands everyday smiling and frowning;
But they all seem tasteless
It is you, as always the most perfect and unique
Strawberry!!! ~ M.F. Moonzajer

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. ~ Oscar Wilde

In nature everything is valuable, everything has its place. The rose, the daisy, the lark, the squirrel, each is different but beautiful. Each has its own expression. Each flower its' own fragrance. Each bird its' own song. So you too have your own unique melody. ~ Diane Dreher

We in the richest societies have too many calories even as we starve for beautiful, fresh food; we have overly large houses but lack spaces that truly embody our individuality and connectedness; media surround us everywhere while we starve for authentic communication. We are offered entertainment every second of the day but lack the chance to play. In the ubiquitous world of money, we hunger for all that is intimate, personal and unique. ~ Charles Eisenstein

It was funny. He was funny. Kat wanted to laugh. She tried to will herself to do it. To dance. To be the girl she'd tried - and failed - to be at Colgan.

But instead she inched away from the very kind, very funny, very handsome boy who had followed her into the dark, somehow bringing the music with him. ~ Ally Carter

It's almost funny: you think you matter to someone. They're the center of your universe, the sun you revolve around. You'd give anything for their details. You inch closer, closer, with tentative steps. You can walk as far as you want, but it won't matter. You are not even on their map. ~ Danya Kukafka (author)

Teaching is a funny business; you want to share these glimpses of something real and profound, but half the time students want only to know their next assignment and what they will need to study for the test. ~ Azar Nafisi

I think beautiful independent films are made, and I think they're as close to what theater can be because they're not loaded with all of the extra stuff. It's human, and it's more organic, but theater is very unique ... It's a different connection altogether. ~ Sam Underwood

I can't see through clothes or anything. Just glamour skin. Except I can see through all of you, since your clothes aren't real." I stopped, horrified. "I mean, I don't look - It's hard to see you, and I like looking at your real face, but I don't try to see anything, because - Oh gosh, this sounds terrible."
He had a funny look on his face, like he wasn't sure what to think. "Huh. That's never been an issue before. Maybe next time you could bring me some shorts. ~ Kiersten White

Do you like my brother?" And there goes Dan's confidence. He keeps his eyes resolutely on the field.
"Uh... yes? I mean... I think everyone likes your brother, don't they?"
She leans over and gives him a little hip check. "No, you know what I mean. Do you /like/ him?" Dan just states out at the horses, hoping that one of them will do something, anything, to distract this girl from her question. But the horses just keep grazing and Tat continues. "'Cause he likes you. I mean, he likes Jeff, too, but... you can like two people at once, right?"
"Uh... yes? I think you can like two people at once."
"Yeah. I know it's none of my business or whatever, but... I just wanted to make sure you know... if you like him, that's cool with me. I mean, I like Jeff too, but... you know."
Dan has a brief moment of wanting to shake her. No, he /doesn't/ know. Is everything really so clear to everyone but him? Is he just adding extra complications where they don't need to be? Then he remembers that he's talking to a fifteen-year-old girl. Maybe she shouldn't be the arbiter of what's simple or complicated.
He realizes that she's still waiting for a response from him. "Okay, well... thanks for letting me know."
"Are you guys going to, like... date?"
"Sweet Jesus, Tat, I don't know!" Possibly that's a bit of an overreaction, but she looks more amused than upset.
"All right, all right...." She gets a mischievous look in her eyes. ~ Kate Sherwood

Love is funny thing. I don´t know if you can call it a "thing" precisely. It´s a force. An energy. A feeling. A moment. A look, a kiss, a smile. All those things in one. It sneaks up on you; you never see it coming. And when it does finally hit you, It isn´t a small little poke. It´s like a rhinoceros rammed itself against your chest. Or you just got run over by a car. It knocks the wind out of you. Slams you against wall. Kick-starts yout heart. You lose your apetite. You can´t sleep. Some can call love a sickness. Seriously, you´re sick over another human being. You belong to them. They control your feelings with the look in their eye. They change the way you see yourself, feel about yourself. You feel like your world shifted, and everything´s the same, but you aren´t. I say it´s funny because it seems to bend and twist every concept of reality you have. You can survive off nothing. The only thing sustaining you is the feeling, energy, force. You can go days without decent sleep. You´re not hungry for anything exept that one person who seems to occupy your every thought. Time slows down when you´re without them. Seconds feel like hours, minutes like days, And whenn you´re together, time moves at the spped of light. It´s alla blur, and when it´s over, you don´t remember half the things you were doing but you just remember this feeling. This bliss. And it is all over in a flash. And you´re back to counting the long, eternal minutes until you see him again. ~ Katy Evans

I went around saying for a long time that I am not one of those Christians who is heavily into forgiveness
that I am one of the other kind. But even though it was funny, and actually true, it started to be too painful to stay this way. They say we are not punished for the sin but by the sin, and I began to feel punished by my unwillingness to forgive. ~ Anne Lamott

I want more with you. I can't promise you what that is or where it will go, but it's more than just physical. I'm attracted to everything about you – you're smart, honest, funny, brave, a little nutty – and you make me smile for no reason. There's no denying I want you in my bed. I think you've caught on to that part by now. But I want this, too. I'm tired of looking back. It's been a long time since I've wanted to live in the moment. ~ Vi Keeland

I have nothing to lose, but something to gain. ~ Eminem

Don't compare the insides of your marriage to the outsides of other people's marriages. Pictures don't tell the truth. Smiling faces on Christmas cards don't reveal the pain behind the scenes. While your struggles are very personal and often very painful, but they are not unique. ~ Jill Savage

Your place is with me," Jem said. "It always will be."
"What do you mean?"
He flushed, the color dark against his pale skin. "I mean," he said, "Tessa Gray, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
Tessa sat bolt upright. "Jem!"
They stared at each other for a moment. At last he said, trying for lightness, though his voice cracked, "That was not a no, I suppose, though
neither was it a yes."
"You can't mean it."
"I do mean it."
"You can't - I'm not a Shadowhunter. They'll expel you from the Clave - "
He took a step closer to her, his eyes eager. "You may not be precisely a Shadowhunter. But you are not a mundane either, nor provably a
Downworlder. Your situation is unique, so I do not know what the Clave will do. But they cannot forbid something that is not forbidden by the Law.
They will have to take your - our - individual case into consideration, and that could take months. In the meantime they cannot prevent our
engagement."
"You are serious." Her mouth was dry. "Jem, such a kindness on your part is indeed incredible. It does you credit. But I cannot let you sacrifice
yourself in that way for me."
"Sacrifice? Tessa, I love you. I want to marry you. ~ Cassandra Clare

Once in a while you find yourself in an odd situation. You get into it by degrees and in the most natural way but, when you are right in the midst of it, you are suddenly astonished and ask yourself how in the world it all came about. ~ Thor Heyerdahl

But ambition is a funny thing: it creeps in when you least expect it and keeps you moving, even when you think you want to stay put. ~ Lena Dunham

It's funny because everyone says, 'Oh you're reclusive; you don't do social media,' but it's not about being reclusive. I like direct contact, and I like contact that's purposeful. ~ Banks

Quite a lot is a large amount but quite a few is also a large amount. ~ Teresa Monachino

Andre Agassi was my rival in the '90s, and I think as we got older we sort of transcended the game. He was probably the best player I ever played over my career. There's a list of players that were tough, but Andre, certainly, he was the most unique. ~ Pete Sampras

You know," he says, voice still low."I have had nothing but trouble since you walked into my life." "I'd walk straight back out of it if only you'd let me. ~ L. H. Cosway