Roarke Humor Quotes

I like your style, Lieutenant Dallas," he said when they'd fought their way to the car. "I like it a lot. And by the way, I don't think I'm in love with you anymore. I know I am."-Roarke ~ J.D. Robb

Eve-"In the name of all that is holy ... It's 2060, not 1760. Can't they figure out a better way to handle this process?"
Roarke-"Amen ~ J.D. Robb

I can't tell you how aroused it makes me when you quote codes, lieutenant. ~ J.D. Robb

Eyes on hers, he flicked her shoulder. Her mouth fell open.
She started stomping the floor.
"What in God's name are you doing?" he demanded.
"Trying to kill the giant tarantula, because the only reason I can figure you just fucking flicked me is because there was a big, fat spider on my shoulder. ~ J.D. Robb

I'd suggest putting your head between your knees, but I think that's physically impossible for you at the moment. ~ J.D. Robb

Assaulting an officer will earn you one to five, Roarke. That's in a cage, not cushy home detention."
"You're not wearing your badge. Or anything else, for that matter." He gave her a friendly nip on the chin. "Be sure to put that in your report. ~ J.D. Robb

He stepped colser. Looked deep into my eyes. Hesitated a millisecond, and then dove in. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
Oh. No.
"Cole
"
"I know how you feel. About me. About him. I just wanted you to know-we could be good together. We could have a life. Kids. Vacations. On Sunday mornings I could serve you breakfast in bed."
He gave me his I-know-you-find-me-irrestible grin. "And then I could make you something to eat. ~ Jennifer Rardin

I'm going to become a beat poet and a lesbian! ~ Benjamin R. Smith

His expression changed, and he took a step back. He looked away. "When you said it was broken, you were just being-"
"No! It is. My phone. Broken." Now she sounded like Yoda on crack. ~ Brigid Kemmerer

Humor is essential to survival. Funny poems are vastly underrated. Very underwritten. ~ Rachel Zucker

I'm in love with you."
"Good grief." She kept walking. ~ Tahereh Mafi

Standing exposed on a rooftop, with no railing and the wind whipping about him, threatening to pull him flailing and screaming to the ground? That held no interest for him. ~ Matt Forbeck

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. - T-SHIRT ~ Darynda Jones

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant! ~ Henny Youngman

Madison sparkled like the words on her oversized chest. There was glitter embedded in her eye shadow, in her lip gloss, in her nail polish, hanging from her ears in shoulder grazing hoops, dangling from her wrists in blingy bracelets. If the lights went out in the hallway, she could light it up like a human disco ball. ~ Danielle Paige

Elle hugged Amo's side, then she leaned up as high as she could and kissed him on the cheek, barely making it. "Thanks."
　　Elle ran off into the classroom to go be with her best friend. She couldn't be happier
　　Nero couldn't be more pissed. He didn't understand how Amo could get a fucking thank you without asking. How he could get a kiss without asking. How come she never throws herself at me for a hug? I want a fucking hug. ~ Sarah Brianne

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! ~ April Henry

First dentistry was painless.
Then bicycles were chainless,
Carriages were horseless,
And many laws enforceless.
Next cookery was fireless,
Telegraphy was wireless,
Cigars were nicotineless,
And coffee caffeineless.
Soon oranges were seedless,
The putting green was weedless,
The college boy was hatless,
The proper diet fatless.
New motor roads are dustless,
The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religion
godless. ~ Arthur Guiterman

Ben starts. "I Spy with my little eye something I really like."
"Oh I know," Radar says. "It's the taste of balls."
"No."
"Is it the taste of penises?" I guess.
"No, dumbass."
"Hmm," says Radar. "Is it the smell of balls?"
"The texture of balls? ~ John Green

Why does that kid think so highly of himself?"
"Kids that think they're so smart.They're everywhere! Destroy is self-esteem!"
"Yes ... I really do think highly of myself.People like me should get a taste of the ups and downs of life! Sorry I'm so envious.I will reflect upon this. Please don't be angry.
"Ah..um.."
"There, I said it now. Are you satisfied?"
...
"Bye bye!"
Beat him ... Beat him until he reaches heaven ... !!!
-random people and Hiro-chan
~ Natsuki Takaya

Foolishness, that's the word for humor. To be stupid it's not a talent or something which should be paid attention it is showing what mankind is really. If you want this join this! ~ Deyth Banger

For a brief, weird minute I felt like Dorothy in Oz, walking down the street with Terric the doubtful, Shame the brainless, and heartless Zay. ~ Devon Monk

When speaking to an asshole, why expect anything but shit? ~ Donna Marie Timney

Max" Shauna greeted him, her voice a contented purr than she looked at me and her eyes grew cold. "Nina."
"She bitch from hell" I replied, Bitsy's head shot around and she looked at me with wide eyes, her fear had disappears, delighted astonishment in its place while Max grunted his amusement. ~ Kristen Ashley

The married thing. Sometimes I look at it and feel like someone from a Dickens novel, standing outside in the cold and staring in at Christmas dinner. Relationships hadn't ever really worked for me. I think it's had something to do with all the demons, ghosts, and human sacrifice. ~ Jim Butcher

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet. ~ Doug Stanhope

A crossbow?" Pigeon asked.
I left my battle-ax in my other jeans," the man said. ~ Brandon Mull

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. ~ W.C. Fields

Needle in a haystack's easy - just bring a magnet."
Eliot stared witheringly at Hardison. "You take the poetry out of everything."
"Says the man who'd just punch the haystack. ~ Keith R.A. DeCandido

If you hear voices, you're a lunatic. If you write down what they say, you're an author. ~ Dani Harper

[Jem] looked from Will to Tessa and raised his silvery eyebrows. "A miracle," he said. "You got him to speak."
"Just to shout at me, really," said Tessa. "Not quite loaves and fishes. ~ Cassandra Clare

The locals would just have to assume there'd been gas explosion. (we tented to cause a lot of those) ~ Serpent's Shadow Rick Riordan

I can tell you that she's not breathing," he said. "She has no heartbeat and all organ function and brain activity have stopped. Also her body temperature is now at seventy-three degrees."
"So you're saying that she's dead," I said.
"Well, I can't prove it, but, yes, I am leaning that way. ~ John Zakour

That one doesn't count. The poor scoundrel is deaf, but he makes a fine sniffer. How do you think we found you? ~ H.S. Crow

To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome. ~ Gena Showalter

Excuse me," said the owner of the metal hand in a voice that would have made an insect of a more sentimental disposition collapse in tears.
This was not such an insect, and it couldn't stand robots.
"Yes, sir," it snapped, "can I help you?"
"I doubt it," said Marvin. ~ Douglas Adams