Jennifer Rardin Quotes

Is your butt buzzing?
Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket and managing instead to bang my elbow against the wall.
Ow! Oh, shit that hurts! You know, the guy who decided it should be a funny bone was just a freaking masochist. Or is it a sadist? I always get those mixed up.

They hired us over the Internet, mailed us half the cash and promised the other half after we nailed the vampire."
I lowered Grief until it pointed straight at Rudy's crotch. "You two wouldn't recognize the Internet if a server fell on your heads. So give it to me straight this time, Rudy, before I lose my temper and make sure Junior grows up an only child.

You got a problem?" he drawled, obviously expecting me to pee my pants before falling to the ground and groveling like an unworthy subject of the Emperor. And that was all it took. A new, screw-you attitude took precedence, trampling my fear under its boots. A highly dangerous approach, I still found it much easier to bear.
"Well it all goes back to my childhood ... ." I began,

He stepped colser. Looked deep into my eyes. Hesitated a millisecond, and then dove in. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
Oh. No.
"Cole
"
"I know how you feel. About me. About him. I just wanted you to know-we could be good together. We could have a life. Kids. Vacations. On Sunday mornings I could serve you breakfast in bed."
He gave me his I-know-you-find-me-irrestible grin. "And then I could make you something to eat.

Quick, think of a marvelous excuse he'll totally swallow. Aha!"To practice. Unlike you guys, I haven't tried my particular talent since Granny May signed me up for belly-dancing classes when I was fifteen."And, by the way, why the hell did I consent to that? Or decide I loved it? Never mind, he's buying it. In fact, he seems to be hot on the idea. Are his eyes glowing? And is Cole's tongue hanging out? This is why I didn't want to dance in the first place! "Anyway," I rushed on. "I'm going to find a private place where nobody can see to laugh at me while you beat this tent" - or, more likely, these two idiots - "into submission.

I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very possibility. As for the danger and risk taking, that's what Pete pays me to do. And you and I both know he inteneds to get his money's worth."
Jasmine, I cannot-"
Why not!"
Because you are not food!"
I stared at him for a minute; the I started to grin. I couldn't help it.
Vayl"-I tried to keep my face straight- "I'm not asking you to eat me.

Now he looked at the classic parked on the street and admitted, "I bought it soon after we met. I ... had hoped someday I might have this chance."
I pointed to the Galaxie. "You can't possibly have felt like that for me then!"
He turned to gaze into my eyes, laying his chin on my shoulder as he said softly, "I have loved you with everything in me from the moment I saw you.

Cole!" Cassandra smacked him on the shoulder.
"Wha-?" When he opened his mouth all you could see was half-chewed goo.
"How old are you?" I demanded. I threw shrimp at him and it got stuck in his tangle of wig hair. Bergman fished it out, wiped it off, and put it back on the serving dish.
"Now, thats disgusting," said Cassandra.
"Children!" Vayl's voice boomed in our ears, loud and sudden enough to make us all jump guiltily. "I trust you are all preforming actual work right now."
"Chill out, Vayl," I replied. "Bergman is just conducting and experiment to see how vampires respond to ingesting brown hair dye."
"That makes me curious, Vayl," said Cole in a sticky, goodie-between-the-gums voice that reminded me of Winnie the Pooh after a major honey binge. "Have you ever colored your hair? You know blonds have more fun."
"Not when they are in the hospital.

Have you dared to eat my son?
I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my mind went straight to the gutter.

Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there's lots of Eastern Grays around this area. What do you say? Are you in?'
Bergman looked at him like he'd just made the worst financial investment of his life. 'Kangaroos are wild animals. I've heard they claw like girl fighters and kick like jackhammers. You're going to get your skull crushed.'
Cole held up a finger. 'Or I'm going to pet a kangaroo. How cool would that be?

Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.

As I was leaving, a door opened and a man looked out. I got the feeling we were having a mutual oh-crap-you're-not-supposed-to-see-me reaction.

It looks as if I was thinking what you were thinking."
"Actually, you weren't. I was really thinking I needed to ask you a question."
"What was that?"
"Do you think we should ask Goatee Guy how to find the caterer?" I smiled at him innocently as his eyebrows pratically met above his nose.
"I am never going to share my pet peeves with you again."

Excellent."
As soon as Bergman left earshot Vayl said, "I am going to buy you some pom-poms and a short pleated skirt-"
Hey, if Bergman needs a cheerleard, that's what he's getting."
Vayl tipped his head to one side and smiled wickedly. "I was just thinking perhaps I need a cheerleader as well."
Cassandra got up. "If that's where this conversation is headed, I'm leaving."
She wants some pom-poms too," I told Vayl.
I do not!

As soon as Bergman left" title="Jennifer Rardin Quotes: Excellent."
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Okay, okay, backing off. Um, I suppose this would be a bad time to ask you to talk to Pete for me, you know, about the car?'
His eyes widened. I could almost hear him thinking, Of all the nerve! 'You were driving,' he said.
'But he likes you so much better than me.'
'That is because I do not keep wrecking the rentals.

I like these boots," I told Vayl.
"Do you think they'd sell them to me cheap? I keep ruining mine."
"Since when do you fret over money?" he asked with amusement. "I was not even sure you knew what to do with it."
I shrugged. "A women has needs."
"Still." said Cole. "Gosh, Jaz, why didn't you say something to me? I'd never let you suffer.

Unbelievable. After what just happened between us no, I don't have any right. None at all. We're barely a couple. We're not even sleeping together. I have to-" What in God's name are you babbling about?" "You're cheating on me!" "I never cheat.

Whatever happened to 'Hey, how are you?' 'Long time, no see.' Apparently you don't have to observe the rules of etiquette when reuniting with a murderous spouse.

Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.

WHAT?!" I felt the prickling along my scalp that signaled Big Anger. I wished I was the Queen of Hearts so I could just order my little card soldiers to cut off Albert's head.

Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!

Hot." The last word, barely a whisper, lost itself in my hair as he pressed his lips to that spot just below my ear that can, apparently, flip the off switch in my brain. Before I realized it my hands were inside that jacket, stroking the hard planes of his chest and stomach. And then, as if moving without any prompting from me they reached down, undid his belt, pulled it loose, and…"Ahhh, that feels great," I moaned."I am completely grossed out over here!" Cassandra informed us.Vayl, who'd been peering down at me with an expression of utter disbelief, stared at Cassandra over the top of my head. "It is not what you think," he assured her."As if I'd do something that disgusting," I said, pulling away from him, but keeping the belt, because the buckle relieved the itching so much better than fingernails. I continued using it to scratch the inflamed skin across my stomach as I sat down by Cassandra.
"You are pathetic," she told me.
"I'd get all offended, but I'm pretty sure you're right.

I can't belly dance.'
Yes, you can. It's in your fi
'
Will you stop reading my goddamn file!

Your father sounds frightening," Trayton said.
"He once made a general cry."
"No."
"I shit you not. The guy had to retire after that. I mean, really, who's going to follow your orders after some damn colonel's reduced you to tears?

Seriously?"
I shrugged. "He can't suspect much if every time we're alone instead of talking I have my way with him." Cole shook his head. "You don't think it'll work?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes. "Vayl might be a vampire, but he's also a guy. Who's about to be deliriously happy. Good God, if you work this right, he won't even be mad if finds out because of the way you decided to hide it from him.

I shrugged. "He can't suspect" title="Jennifer Rardin Quotes: Seriously?"
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There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.

So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, "Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!" and initiate a general shutdown.

When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches.

Vayl, this is not a pleasant moment for me," I confessed.
"No?"
"Locked in a windowless, doorless room with a dancing, headless corpse and a secret sucker that can move fast enought to tear us both a new one if I miss?

It's vampire Barbie" ... ... ... .. "get a load of this," I said, " perfect makeup, perfect nails, perfect figure
it makes me want to shove her head-first into a steaming pile of horse crap. Why is it you can never find a mounted police when you need one?" ... ...
"your ... .late ... .wife?" I whispered.
Vayl nodded, just a slight jerk of his head. " She died. Then she killed me. Ergo ... . Late wife.

Cassandra," he said, "I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.

It must've been Albert's military background, because man, when he dropped a bomb the entire country shook. I was still jittery as a hurricane survivor in New Orleans, and I was sure that somewhere in Alaska some poor Inuit had just taken a tumble from his sled for the very same reason.

Who brings baby pictures on an international flight?" I hissed. "If I'd wanted my bare ass paraded in front of all the first-class ticket holders I'd have mooned everyone before we took off!

I pictured Cupid sitting in a crappy little bar, drunk and depressed, while he moaned to the bartender, That Jasmine Parks, gods, she pisses me off! Did you see what she just did? Totally blew off this immortal stud to play kiss-the-boo-boo with a fickle little rent-a-cop. Why? 'Cause she's the biggest chickenshit on the planet! I'm ready to toss my bow and pick up a bazooka!

I described the pyramid we'd found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he's afraid of wagons. And bands.

Now, here's what we do. You and I will find a back way out of this place. If we come across someone else, we make like a couple of lovesick teenagers. People generally hurry past heavy breathers. I get you to the parking lot, you vanish. Got it?"
He nodded. "There's just one thing I've got to do before we go," he said. Before I could inquire, he grabbed me and planted a kiss square on my mouth. It was short but fiery, despite the grape flavoring, and when he let me go I wan panting.
Holy crap!"
He smiled, not at all apologetically, and said, "I've wanted to do that ever since I saw my first Bond movie.

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.

I sat up. Slowly. Between the belly dancing, the fire, the visit to Dave and it's aftermath, the night had taken its toll.
You look like crap!" Cole said merrily. "I like the hair though."
He made a camera frame with his thumbs and forefingers and in the genie voice from Aladdin said, "Now what does this say to me? Homeless women? Tornado victim? Britney Spears? I've got it! Preschooler who's misplaced her gum!"
I regarded him balefully. "You're a morning person, aren't you?"
You make that sound like a bad thing."
Not if you stop talking.