Observational Comedy Quotes

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, and then everything burst into flames. ~ Brian P. Cleary

Not only is love blind, it's a little hard of hearing. ~ Brian P. Cleary

When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own. ~ Warren Littlefield

Vegard and Riston's job today was to guard and protect me. And considering that I was in a tower room in the Guardians' citadel, it looked like a pretty plum assignment. I mean, how much trouble could a girl get into under heavy guard in a tower room? Notice I didn't ask that question out loud. No need to rub Fate's nose in something when I'd been tempting her enough lately.
Phaelan had generously his guard services as well, just in case something happened to me that my Guardian bodyguards couldn't handle. Phaelan's guard-on-duty stance resembled his pirate-on-shore-leave stane of leaning back in a chair with his feet up, but instead of a tavern table, his boots were doing a fine job of holding down the windowsill. I don't know how I'd ever felt safe without him. ~ Lisa Shearin

From long experience in places like Afghanisatan and Chechnya, Sokolov recognised, in the black jihadist's movements, a sort of cultural or attitudinal advantage that such people always enjoyed in situations like this: they were complete fatalists who believed that God was on their side. Russians, on the other hand, were fatalists of a somewhat different kind, believing, or at least strongly suspecting, that they were fucked no matter what, and that they had better just make the best of it anyway, but not seeing in this the hand of God at work or the hope of some future glory in a martyr's heavens. ~ Neal Stephenson

There's no such thing as free kittens. ~ Brian P. Cleary

I love therapy. I don't get the taboo about seeking therapy at all. It's exactly like taking Buzzfeed quizzes. At the end of the day, we all want to know what cocktail we are. But it means so much more when it comes from a shrink. It's like 'Ooh, I really am Liquid Cocaine! ~ Judy Balan

Can you faint from awesome boy scent? ~ Nikki Godwin

The people you like when you meet them and while you know them, and the people you remember fondly, are invariably people who have a sense of comedy, not just a sense of humor. ~ William, Saroyan

In the purifying sweep of atheism human beings lost all special value. The numb misery of the horse was matched by that of the farmer; the once-green ferny lives crushed into coal's fossiliferous strata were no more anonymous and obliterated than Clarence's own life would soon be, in a wink of earth's tremendous time. Without Biblical blessing the physical universe became sherry horrible and disgusting. All fleshy acts became vile, rather than merely some. The reality of men slaying lambs and cattle, fish and fowl to sustain their own bodies took on an aspect of grisly comedy
the blood-soaked selfishness of a cosmic mayhem. ~ John Updike

Life is a double-faced creature; one face is tragedy, the other one is comedy. We have no way but to face the first face with dignity! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

If only you knew, Comedy Boy. If only I could tell you. ~ David Levithan

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy. ~ Bob Hope

The English can be a very critical, unforgiving people, but criticism can be good. And this is a country that loves comedy. ~ Bjork

If the weight comes from bacon you can so deduct it off the scale total to get your true weight. #science ~ Michelle M. Pillow

I found myself surrounded by really old veterans wearing hats that said, "Retired Marine - SEMPER FI." These hats didn't appear to fit on their heads, but instead seemed to hover over them.
At one point, I mistakenly tried to take the last box of crackers that a veteran also wanted. He started yelling, "I ran away from home at seventeen, lied about my age, and joined the Corps! I fought in World War II, Korea, and NAM! I have no cartilage in my right knee! It's bone-on-bone, but every morning I run six miles! I did not sacrifice my knee for this country to come here today and have you disrespect me at the commissary. Oooh-RAH!"
I dropped the crackers and walked away. ~ Mollie Gross

I think both of us [ with Steve Oram], once we decided to do comedy, knew that we would have to come to London to do that. ~ Alice Lowe

The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience. ~ Howie Mandel

I wanted to write something that made no linear sense. None. Zero. Something that was 87% pure nonsense, 12% pure alcohol, and 3% orange juice, for a chaser. That formula is accurate, give or take 2% for the milk. In my experience, comedy is 2/3rds tragedy, and one third 33.3 percent. And tragedy started at birth, so humor involving babies is probably the funniest. But even though I didn't write anything about babies, you might laugh so hard that you'll regret not wearing a diaper while reading. ~ Jarod Kintz

A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy. ~ Sherman Alexie

I was voted Most Humorous in my senior class in high school, and I was a fan of comedy, my whole life. I never got into the horror genre, and action was fine, but I just loved comedy. Any comedy I could get my hands on, I would. I watched Saturday Night Live religiously. I've just been a fan of comedy, my whole life. ~ Rob Riggle

I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess. ~ Paul Feig

I like old movies, screwball comedies, vintage clothes, and basically I'm an old-fashioned gal. ~ Zooey Deschanel

Live comedy is fantastic. It's when live comedy is transcribed and reported and critiqued outside of the venue without context that things become complicated. ~ Michael Che

People expect comedy from me but I am not just a stand-up comedian anymore. I act on stage, host 'Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa' and also conduct interviews on my show. I have grown as a person and an artiste. ~ Kapil Sharma

Comedy is inherently subversive because it turns the normal reality on its head. The art form is all about these questions and contradictions. In comedy, we're dealing with language that we all understand, but words can have a dozen other things around them that alter or affect meaning. ~ Paul Provenza

My uncle Shawn used to stay with us when we were really young, and I used to come downstairs and see him break dancing on this piece of a cardboard. I probably always thought they were cool since then. I never knew his comedy, but I used to always see him break dancing. And he was terrible at it. ~ Damon Wayans, Jr.

Your tills are talking to me and want me to take them home. Does this often happen? ~ Steven Poore

After doing comedy for a while and knowing how hard it is to do physical comedy right, I learned how incredibly talented the Three Stooges really were after re-watching old episodes. They still stand up! ~ Carly Craig

Eddie Murphy was the Michael Jordan of comedy. He had a full range of abilities. ~ Aries Spears

Comedy takes a very specific technique, specific skills. ~ Joseph Gordon-Levitt

There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy. ~ Terry Teachout

I think the best advice I'd say to any actor when you do comedy is play it straight. ~ Ricky Gervais

I want to do literally everything. I think I was gifted ... I inherited one of the best comedy visionaries as a director. ~ Marlon Wayans

Sometimes I would like the opportunity to do character-driven comedy and that's really what I was trying to do in Meet The Parents. I think in a way this is a more old fashioned type of comedy. ~ Jay Roach

I'm a guy. Unless the dirt attacks first, I leave it in peace. ~ Katie Graykowski

I've turned arrogance into an artform, where it's so absurd that it becomes comedy. But I've never done anything to hurt anybody or steal from anyone. ~ John Lydon

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day. ~ Bill Hicks

People are paying a premium to see movies in 3-D, and that's a very big deal. It's never been done before that someone says you have to pay more to see 'Spider-Man' than a romantic comedy. ~ Michael Lynton

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. ~ W.C. Fields

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry. ~ Bob Newhart

I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. ~ Todd Barry

Comedy is what keeps us alive. ~ George Schlatter

I don't practice anything. I spend time looking over ideas and then just get out and do it. ~ Robin Williams