Music Humor Quotes

Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight. ~ Johnny Cash

Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion. ~ Fred Rogers

She stepped back and frowned at me. "Open it."
"Me?" I felt sure she was picking on me because I was the only enslaved god she had. "I'm not Hermes! I'm not even Valdez!"
"Try."
As if that were a simple request! I attempted to get my fingertips under the edge and prise it open. I spread my arms and yelled the standard magic words: MELLON! SHAZAM! SESAME STREET! None of these worked. At last I tried my infallible ace in the hole. I sang 'Love Is an Open Door' from the Frozen soundtrack. Even this failed.
"Impossible!" I cried. "This door has no taste in music! ~ Rick Riordan

On Art Garfunkel - He makes Paul Simon look like LL Cool J. ~ Ian Gittins

No!" Tony/Toni/Toné exclaims. "I saw the two of you canoodling. You're a regular Johnny Castle." I have no idea who Johnny Castle is, but I definitely approve of the name. ~ David Levithan

Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music. ~ Chuck Klosterman

You know when I'm down to my socks it's time for business
That's why they're called business socks
It's business, it's business time ~ Flight Of The Conchords

If you talk bad about country music, it's like saying bad things about my momma. Them's fightin' words ~ Dolly Parton

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that." ~ Steven Wright

I like your opera - I think I will set it to music ~ Ludwig Van Beethoven

We are fans of Mozart and Beethoven, as well 'South Park' and Borat. We believe that we can attract many people who eschew the serious ambiance of concert halls and don't go to classical music concerts because of such reasons. However, there is a 'serious humor' on the stage: funny and ridiculous. That is important! ~ Aleksey Igudesman

Our first show, 'A Little Nightmare Music,' encompasses a lot of zany humor with beautiful classical music. ~ Aleksey Igudesman

Some people have lives; some people have music. ~ John Green

If you were a country," I said, "what would your national anthem be?"
I meant a pre-existing song
"What a Wonderful World" or "Que Sera, Sera" or something to make it a joke, like "Hey Ya!" ("I would like, more than anything else, for my nation to be shaken like a Polaroid picture.") ~ David Levithan

He gave Robert an apparently meaningful wink that failed to convey any meaning at all. ~ Anna Mattaar

Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?"
"Dumb luck," Wit said. "In that I'm lucky you're all so dumb. ~ Brandon Sanderson

If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now. ~ Jasper Fforde

The acid test is that all paranoids and fundamentalists lack a sense of humor, for humor is a chaos flux and flexibility, of ambiguity and multi-dimensionality, and that kind of erotic liveliness is precisely what the fundamentalist is trying to eliminate in holding rigidly to doctrine. ~ William Irwin Thompson

She was walking toward the beauty shop when Shay came out the door moving fast. The first thing Jill noticed was Shay's hair and how it appeared really big. As Shay drew closer, Jill realized she looked like she was wearing a mask with big blue streaks over the eyes and giant red pouty lips. "What happened to you?" Jill asked in shock. "I'm not sure," Shay said, looking just as stunned. "One minute, I was reading a magazine, and the next, two women that looked like Dolly Parton descended on me like vultures. They started putting stuff on my face, then they did all kinds of things to my hair." Anne walked out of the shop next; her Napoleon hat 'do rode higher than ever. Ella followed with her little red hair ball reinflated. "Doesn't Shay just look beautiful?" Ella chirped. She looked like a hooker who'd just survived a wind tunnel, but Jill nodded and tried to smile. ~ Robin Alexander

I thought that I would like to be affiliated with some school or institution. As time went on, I also decided on the subject that I wanted to get involved with in addition to music: it was Black Studies. ~ Donald Byrd

I savour the idea of my new state: single and a millionaire. ~ Paulo Coelho

Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom. ~ Jasper Fforde

Surf is that music which is entirely about evoking something. There's never any vocals, so it's not about the lyrics, it's about the reverb. ~ Stephin Merritt

I know," Kahlil said. "You're probably the only man who would compare me to a fungus and mean it as a compliment. ~ Ginn Hale

Why do the gingerbread girls have to wear pink?" Penny asks.
"Why should the gingerbread girls feel like they shouldn't wear pink?" I say. "I like pink."
"Only because you've been conditioned to like it by Barbies and gendered Lego."
"Lay off, Penny. I've never played with Lego. ~ Rainbow Rowell

Fans decide what pop culture is. We can define ourselves. Music and the presentation of art nowadays is totally in our control, with the Internet specifically. You no longer need record labels. You no longer need movie distribution companies. You can just make it and put it online, and it will distribute itself to millions of people. The borders and everything have been broken down. It really is in the hands of the people. ~ Laura Jane Grace

A faithful worship leader magnifies the greatness of God in Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit by skillfully combining God's Word with music, thereby motivating the gathered church to proclaim the gospel, to cherish God's presence, and to live for God's glory. ~ Bob Kauflin

My mother had tried to fool me into thinking I was a natural beauty, and I'd believed her for a little while, that is, until I moved to the land of beautiful people. ~ J.C. Patrick

Everybody has their own America, and then they have pieces of a fantasy America that they think is out there but they can't see ... So the fantasy corners of America ... you've pieced them together from scenes in movies and music and lines from books. And you live in your dream America that you've custom-made from art and schmaltz and emotions just as much as you live in your real one. ~ Andy Warhol

I don't read music. I don't write it. So I wander around on the guitar until something starts to present itself. ~ James Taylor

In a broader sense, the rhythms of nature, large and small - the sounds of wind and water, the sounds of birds and insects - must inevitably find their analogues in music. ~ George Crumb

Brian, relax, man. You've gotta relax when you make the crank calls. ~ Brian Regan

What's your music?Ari Meier ~ Ari Meier

The science of government it is my duty to study, more than all other sciences; the arts of legislation and administration and negotiation ought to take the place of, indeed exclude, in a manner, all other arts. I must study politics and war, that our sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. Our sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry and porcelain. ~ John Adams

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding! ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Presently a soprano voice of richness and depth floated from the open windows of the parlor, resonating over the darkening greenery. All at once it was as if the entire scene before them was awakened by that voice, infused with unexpected life: the western sky, streaked with bands of pale gold and purple; the two houses, standing gray and disconsolate against that sky; the clusters of trees casting deep black shadows here and there across the ground. The same voice that brought everything suddenly to life also drew them into another, much deeper world - a world that was normally hidden, a world that stretched out into eternity. Yusuke, who had at first looked on with a sense of distance as everyone else sat listening, their faces intent on the music, found himself being gradually drawn in as well, forgetting the moment and the place, lending his ear during that unworldly stretch of time as if entranced. No one spoke. The singing could not have lasted ten minutes, but when it ended he found the darkness all at once grew deeper. ~ Minae Mizumura

Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. ~ Al Capp

I think crush is the perfect word to describe it, too, because it simultaneously means 'to have a brief infatuation with someone unattainable' and 'to be violently squashed. ~ Elna Baker

How lucky she was to have a best friend like Jojo. A girl who relied on truth as much as humor, realizing that the former was essential and the latter was what made life bearable. ~ Susie Orman Schnall

The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes - ah, that is where the art resides. ~ Artur Schnabel

A home without a cat - and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat - may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title? ~ Mark Twain

Out similar characteristics in everyone. For example, law students were undisciplined and competitive, medical students strict and lacking a sense of humor, philosophy ~ Donato Carrisi

From the music I make, to the things I do in my life, I'm true to my R&B core. ~ Trey Songz

Perhaps it is to prepare to hear some day the music of the spheres that I am always turning my ears to the music of streams. There is indeed a music in streams, but it is not for the hurried. It has to be loitered by and imagined. Or imagined toward, for it is hardly for men at all. Nature has a patient ear. To her the slowest funeral march sounds like a jig. She is satisfied to have the notes drawn out to the lengths of days or weeks or months. Small variations are acceptable to her, modulations as leisurely as the opening of a flower. ~ Wendell Berry

We don't yet have a body of scientific knowledge about evil to be called a facet of psychology. Therefore, religious reasoning for actions will always be at the discretion of the psychologist, thus making them the judge and jury over what is delusion and what is a spiritual experience that has to be sedated. ~ Shannon L. Alder

When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all. ~ Noel Fielding

When you hold the hand of a child, invest one hundred percent of yourself in the act of holding her hand. When you hug your partner, do the same. Forget everything else. Be totally present, totally alive in the act of hugging.
This is the opposite of the way we've been trained to lead our lives and run our businesses. We've been taught to do many things at once. We answer an e-mail while we talk on the phone; while in a meeting for one project, we work on our notes for another project.
Every new technology promises to help us do more things at once. Now we can send e-mail while listening to music, talking on the phone, and taking a picture, all with the same device. With your energy that dispersed, where is your power? ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

There is too much emphasis on technical perfection nowadays, and not enough on what music is actually about - irony, joy, human suffering, love. ~ Mstislav Rostropovich

Livia stole quietly away from the scene of the beauty. She left Blake, but she never stopped hearing his music that night. ~ Debra Anastasia

If God wanted a world filled with saints, He never would have created adolescence. ~ Susan Beth Pfeffer

Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent's past, there's leftover booze and contraceptives. ~ Bauvard

I awake, I meditate, get the kids off to school, go to the gym, go to the Favored Nations office, and usually at around 1 pm I'm home and do music the rest of the day. ~ Steve Vai

When he thought of the old man he could see him suddenly in a field in the spring, trying to move a gray boulder. He always knew instinctively the ones you could move, even though the greater part was buried in the earth, and he expected you to move the rock and not discuss it. A hard and silent man, an honest man, a noble man. Little humor but sometimes the door opened and you saw the warmth within a long way off, a certain sadness, a slow, remote, unfathomable quality as if the man wanted to be closer to the world but did not know how. Once Chamberlain had a speech memorized from Shakespeare and gave it proudly, the old man listening but not looking, and Chamberlain remembered it still: 'What a piece of work is man...in action how like an angel!' And the old man, grinning, had scratched his head and then said stiffly, 'Well, boy, if he's an angel, he's sure a murderin' angel.' And Chamberlain had gone on to school to make an oration on the subject: Man, the Killer Angel. And when the old man heard about it he was very proud, and Chamberlain felt very good remembering it. The old man was proud of his son, the colonel. ~ Michael Shaara