Psychiatry Humor Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Psychiatry Humor.

Quotes About Psychiatry Humor

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We don't yet have a body of scientific knowledge about evil to be called a facet of psychology. Therefore, religious reasoning for actions will always be at the discretion of the psychologist, thus making them the judge and jury over what is delusion and what is a spiritual experience that has to be sedated. ~ Shannon L. Alder
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Shannon L. Alder
I can't answer you in a nutshell. We wouldn't fit unless we saw the same shrink. ~ Brian Spellman
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Brian Spellman
Talking to yourself is okay. Answering back is risky. ~ Brian Spellman
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Brian Spellman
I had sent her to four consecutive psychiatrists, and not one of them had gotten me sober. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Alcoholics Anonymous
The voices belonged to dragons.
Five of them lay on or sprawled over or curled around the various rocks and columns that filled the huge cave where Cimorene stood. Each of the males (there were three) had two short, stubby, sharp-looking horns on either side of their heads; the female dragon had three, one on each side and one in the center of her forehead. The last dragon was apparently still too young to have made up its mind which sex it wanted to be; it didn't have any horns at all. ~ Patricia C. Wrede
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Patricia C. Wrede
My feeling toward Republicans is like my feeling about sharks: of course they're stupid and vicious. It's in their nature to be mindless, ravening killing machines. It's nothing personal. They don't know any better. Pretty much the only thing you can do about them is stay out of their waters and, if you're unlucky enough to meet with one, shoot it through its rudimentary brain with a spear gun. ~ Tim Kreider
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Tim Kreider
Dagmar tried to stand, and Gwenvael caught her hand, pulling her back down. "You can't leave me. I'm tortured and brooding. You need to show me how much you adore me so I can learn to love myself again."
"You've never stopped loving yourself."
"Because I'm amazing. ~ G.A. Aiken
Psychiatry Humor quotes by G.A. Aiken
I watched in astonishment, Jess reached up and cupped Miss Georgia's breasts in her hands, giving them an appraising squeeze and admiring nod. A moment later, Miss Georgia returned the gesture ... ~ Jefferson Bass
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Jefferson Bass
The two greatest enemies of the individual in the modern world are communism and psychiatry. Each wages a relentless war against that which makes a person an individual: communism against the ownership of property, psychiatry against the ownership of the self (mind and body). Communists criminalize the autonomous use of capital and labor, and harshly punish those who "traffic" in the black market, especially in foreign currencies. Psychiatrists criminalize the autonomous use of the self, and harshly punish those who "traffic" in self-abuse, especially in self-medication and self-destruction. ~ Thomas Szasz
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Thomas Szasz
Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15. ~ Ronald Reagan
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Ronald Reagan
Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. ~ Helen Stringer
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Helen Stringer
For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of a Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a MaCaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinocerus. ~ Ethel Barrymore
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Ethel Barrymore
Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn't entirely there.
Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Bᴀʏ Oғ Mᴀɴᴛᴇ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? he said.
"No, sir," said Mort.
Fᴀᴍᴏᴜs sʜɪᴘᴡʀᴇᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ.
"Was there?"
Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ, said Death, ɪғ I ᴄᴀɴ ғɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ. ~ Terry Pratchett
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Terry Pratchett
When someone insults you, even murder is forgivable? I see. What you told me is very important. You insulted that innocent old man's life. So I changed one of your guns into a banana. You should savor your last meal as best you can. ~ Hirohiko Araki
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Hirohiko Araki
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Yes, about ten minutes. ~ Duke Of Wellington
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Duke Of Wellington
We'll make it a blowout like in the olden days."
"When dinosaurs roamed the earth?" Teddy asked.
"Exactly," Dad said. "When dinosaurs roamed the earth and your mom and I were young. ~ Gayle Forman
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Gayle Forman
If the story-tellers could ha' got decency and good morals from true stories, who'd have troubled to invent parables? ~ Thomas Hardy
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Thomas Hardy
Ah, the trainer with the hands," one of them said. She was very pretty, thick dark hair and even darker eyes. She had a nice body, but it was easy to see she had been having babies. "Lucas talks about you fondly."

Kacey smiled. "Yeah, his shoulder's been giving him shit lately," she said, figuring this must be Fallon, Lucas's wife.

"Yeah, and if you didn't keep him from birching about it, I might have to try and kick your ass. But seeing that he is happy, and you are also a good six inches taller than me and have abs and arms that could squash small children, I'm gonna just say, hey! It's nice to meet you!" she said and everyone laughed as they shook hands. ~ Toni Aleo
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Toni Aleo
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz. ~ Ellen DeGeneres
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
Of course it's a trap
With her, it always is one
Trappy McTrapface

Britomartis jumped from the ledge and landed in a kneeling position, her skirts spread around her in a pool of netting.
(She loves those dramatic entrances. She is such an anime-character wannabe.) ~ Rick Riordan
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Rick Riordan
You make all the fashion statements just by dressing up your mind. ~ Jason Mraz
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Jason Mraz
At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here."
Then she lay down on the floor. ~ Louise Rennison
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Louise Rennison
Do I not meet your fangirl expectation? ~ Ashley Poston
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Ashley Poston
I swear to God, Boss," he said one day. "Ya ain't never been a talker, but lately, if ya'd a had to rub two words together to make a fire, you'd a done froze to death. ~ Eli Easton
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Eli Easton
At the dockside I was pleasantly surprised to find the North wasn't all hairy men in animal skins. There was also hairy women in animal skins. ~ Mark Lawrence
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Mark Lawrence
The truly smart, having discovered they are cleverer than the people around them, soon learn that the smartest thing of all for them to do is to prevent said people from ever finding this out. ~ Terry Pratchett
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Terry Pratchett
And onto the screen pops a couple of housewives who start having a poop fit when they see how clean their new dish soap got the dinner plates ~ David James Duncan
Psychiatry Humor quotes by David James Duncan
She crushed it, telling herself she was going to add Big in front of her Idiot tattoo. ~ Nalini Singh
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Nalini Singh
The saddest realization I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people. I aged a decade in that moment. ~ Amy Schumer
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Amy Schumer
I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious. ~ Michael Scott
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Michael Scott
Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy could be deeper than tragedy, in my view. ~ Gerald Stern
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Gerald Stern
I don't believe for one moment that I killed him [ ... ] But if I didn't, somebody else did. I must appoint myself Investigator. I must catch this malefactor, this pig. And if at any time it looks as if I am going to catch myself, I can always accept my resignation. ~ Pamela Branch
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Pamela Branch
Out of the way! We are in the throes of an exceptional emergency! This is no occassion for sport- there is lace at stake! (Ms. Pole) ~ Elizabeth Gaskell
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Elizabeth Gaskell
Horror has been a genre since the beginning of cinema, all the way back to the days of silent films. I don't think it will ever go away because it's so universal. Humor doesn't always travel to other countries, but horror does. ~ John Carpenter
Psychiatry Humor quotes by John Carpenter
Humor plays close to the big hot fire which is Truth, and sometimes the reader feels the heat. ~ E.B. White
Psychiatry Humor quotes by E.B. White
If you pull some lame-ass 'I'm your father' bullshit, right now, I'm going to lose it. ~ Martin Leicht
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Martin Leicht
You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited. ~ Kevin Hearne
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Kevin Hearne
DEAR GOD, if I survive this near-death experience, I will:
-Well, I already go to church every Sunday
- I do a fair share of community service
-I help organize fundraisers
God, you owe me big time ~ Hasti Williams
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Hasti Williams
Mitchell sanders was sitting under a banyan tree and using a thumbnail to pry off all the body lice, working slowly, carefully depositing them in a USO envelope. When he was done he sealed the envelope, wrote 'Free' in the right hand corner, and sent it to his draft board in ohio. ~ Tim O'Brien
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Tim O'Brien
I am not sure I trust you."
"You can trust me with your life, My King."
"But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back. ~ Megan Whalen Turner
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Megan Whalen Turner
But there was one girl who had a big influence over me. Barbie. I worshipped Barbie. In fact, I would say Barbie was my twelve-inch plastic life coach. She had it all, a camper, a dune buggy, even a dream house. Part of why it was a dream house to me was that she was the only one who lived there. Her boyfriend, Ken, came to visit when she--er, I decided. She had a sports car and would bounce from job to job as she--er, I saw fit.Barbie owned zero floral baby-making dresses. I craved that indepence. And her weird-ass boobs? So what? She still reached the steering wheel of her royal blue sports car. Some people thought that the fact that her feet were fucked and she couldn't stand was a problem. But to me, it meant she was free. Free from standing at a stove, or a washing machine, or with a baby hanging off her hip. She has no hip. She has no hips. Plus, she didn't have to walk; she drove her convertible everywhere. God, I loved Barbie. She was free in every way I knew how to define freedom. ~ Lizz Winstead
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Lizz Winstead
Adrian, we hashed this out! Everything's gone perfectly until now. Why would you even think about deviating from the plan?'
'Um, because that's how we roll? ~ Richelle Mead
Psychiatry Humor quotes by Richelle Mead
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