Knowledge Humor Quotes

Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent protection. ~ Terry Pratchett

In some sort of crude sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose. ~ J. Robert Oppenheimer

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. ~ Bertrand Russell

The footman burst in, announcing, 'Monsieur le Duc de
.'
'Hold your tongue, you fool,' said the Duke as he entered the room. He said this so well, and with such majesty than Julien could not help thinking that knowing how to lose his temper with a footman was the whole extent of this great personage's knowledge. ~ Stendhal

People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show' ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor. ~ John Oliver

There are no things man was not meant to know. There are, perhaps, things man is too dumb to figure out, but that's a different problem. ~ Michael Kurland

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up. ~ Karl Kraus

children spend their time for they think they have more time; adults cry over their time for they see they have less time ~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Sports have nothing to do with fair play. They are bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence ~ George Orwell

5 stars = If I weren't taken, I'd marry this book and have its delightful little book babies.

4 stars = goin' steady (or whatever you crazy kids call it these days). So good I'd read it again.

3 stars = A great, one-time fling. I enjoyed it but it probably won't be a reread.

2 stars and below = The pretty thing didn't make it past the pick-up line. I don't rate these because I don't finish them. ~ Eliza Crewe

Discipleship and spiritual formation are less about erecting an edifice of knowledge than they are a matter of developing a Christian know-how that intuitively understands the world in light of the Gospel. ~ James K.A. Smith

Be the source of peace and love; commit to be a person of love and kindness who radiates peace from within. ~ Debasish Mridha

We sail within a vast sphere, ever drifting in uncertainty, driven from end to end. ~ Blaise Pascal

Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with Fuck Her Hard and be done with it? I stood in the "Family Planning" aisle of the grocery store, trying to decide which condom brand was more effective. Family Planning ... give me a break. How many people came to this aisle because they were planning a family? They came to this aisle to AVOID planning a family.
Carter ~ Tara Sivec

Free drinks have no carbs. ~ Nicki Elson

The alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind ~ Ayn Rand

At some point Ewan had taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. His forearms were bulging with muscle, and his shoulders appeared likely to rip through the thin linen of his shirt. Annabelle swallowed, thinking of Ewan without his shirt at their picnic. He wasn't even breathing hard.
"Where do you get all these muscles?" she asked.
"Lifting damsels in distress." He grinned at her, and there was a slight lurch as he leaped off the carriage and landed with a splash in the ditch. ~ Eloisa James

Perhaps Clarence's knowledge of the enormous day-to-day expense of the war machine was too much for a man who's own father had insisted, "Never to waste salt on a radish! ~ Kevin Moccia

Meg lit the gas burner, above which a pan sat in readiness. "The soup is all homemade." "Meg, it's Heinz tomato." Sanne held up the empty tin she'd spotted in the recycling pile. "To which I have added extra pepper and a spoonful of Bovril, thus rendering it homemade. ~ Cari Hunter

That's what you get when you're stupid. ~ Caleb Eversole

We are living in our dreams most of our life, so dream better and dream big. ~ Debasish Mridha

When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time ~ Josh Stern

In English, we were still on the Introduction to Poetry Unit, and I'm not lying, if I ever meet Percy Bysshe Shelley walking down the streets of Marysville, I'm going to punch him right in the face. ~ Gary D. Schmidt

Neighbor ... was that the word for "whoring tramp" nowadays? ~ Gena Showalter

But, I tell myself, Weight is just an artifact of gravity. If this were a jazz club on the moon, I would weigh less. ~ Weike Wang

Do little pink fairies sing and dance in your world, Peabody?"
"Sometimes, when it's very quiet and no one else can see. ~ J.D. Robb

Real science studies and makes accessible that knowledge which people at that period of history think important, and real art transfers this truth from the domain of knowledge to the domain of feelings. ~ Leo Tolstoy

Rousseau had it backwards. We are NOT born free. We are born in the chains of the random and the reflexive, and are ignorant and unreasonable by simple nature. We must learn to be free, to organize the random and detect the reflexive, to acquire the knowledge of particulars and the powers of reason. The examined life is impossible if we cannot examine, order, classify, define, distinguish, always in minute particulars. ~ Richard Mitchell

The reverend waited for her to be seated and then he bowed his head and blessed the food and the table and the people sitting at it. He went on at some length and blessed everything all the way up to the country and then he blessed some other countries as well and he spoke about war and famine and the missions and other problems in the world with particular reference to Russia and the jews and cannibalism and he asked it all in Christ's name amen and raised up and reached for the cornbread. ~ Cormac McCarthy

I have tried to be faithful to my knowledge, to force my instincts to yield, and realized that it is no use wielding the weapons of nothingness if you cannot turn them against yourself. ~ Emil M. Cioran

Stick to catching runaway livestock. ~ Anne Hagan

It is a foible of our human nature that when we have an extremely unpleasant experience, it gives us a peculiar satisfaction if it is "the biggest" of its disagreeable kind that has happened since the world began. During a heat wave, for instance, we are very pleased if the papers announce that it is "the highest temperature reached since the year 1881," and we feel a little resentment towards the year 1881 for having gone us one better. Or if our ears are frozen till all the skin peels off, it fills us with a certain happiness to learn that "it was the hardest frost recorded since 1786." It is just the same with wars. The war in progress is either the most righteous or the bloodiest, or the most successful, or the longest, since such and such a time; any superlative whatever always affords us the proud satisfaction of having been through something extraordinary and record-breaking. ~ Karel Capek

There is naturally in every man a desire to know, but what profiteth knowledge without the fear of God? ~ Thomas A Kempis

Alfred," Merryweather said. "OIPEP is the only organization of its kind in the world, with practically unlimited resources and an intelligence network that spans every country in the planet. We shall do what any powerful, multinational bureaucracy would do in such a crisis. We shall hold a meeting! ~ Rick Yancey

Hey," Anaxantis protested. "Oh," he added, when the Muktar prince took his member in his mouth. "Oh ... that's what you meant by servicing." He laughed softly.
"Aw, aw, teeth, teeth, no teeth," he hissed suddenly.
"Sowwy," Timishi, mumbled with his mouth full. "Towd you it wouldn't je jood. ~ Andrew Ashling

My pride and my power of vision were all that I owned when I started - and whatever I achieved, was achieved by means of them. Both are greater now. Now I have the knowledge of the superlative value I had missed: of my right to be proud of my vision. The rest is mine to reach. ~ Ayn Rand

Unfortunately, the optimistic view that "classical civilization" handed down certain fundamental works that managed to include the knowledge contained in the lost writings has proved groundless. In fact, in the face of a general regression in the level of civilization, it's never the best works that will be saved through an automatic process of natural selection. ~ Lucio Russo

I don't even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell. ~ Shannon L. Alder

And I realized that even if she didn't know it yet, everything had changed for her. She wouldn't stay here now, no matter what happened with Will Traynor. She had an air about her, a new air of knowledge, of things seen, places she had been. My sister finally had new horizons. ~ Jojo Moyes

They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle! ~ Tanya Masse

That outering or uttering of sense which is language and speech is a tool which made it possible for man to accumulate experience and knowledge in a form that made easy transmission and maximum use possible. ~ Marshall McLuhan

By academic freedom I understand the right to search for truth and to publish and teach what one holds to be true. This right implies also a duty: one must not conceal any part of what on has recognized to be true. It is evident that any restriction on academic freedom acts in such a way as to hamper the dissemination of knowledge among the people and thereby impedes national judgment and action. ~ Albert Einstein

God is the source of all knowledge. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating college student. ~ Paul Graham

If you cheat on reason with emotion you will go bankrupt. ~ Matshona Dhliwayo

When you look at the runway now, the girls are 15 and 16 years old with no knowledge of clothes, no idea how to project themselves. I was trained how to show off the dress, how to move to make the clothes look better. ~ China Machado

First get rid of the delusion I am the body, then only will we want real knowledge. ~ Swami Vivekananda

Daily receiving the old physician in his study; or visiting the laboratory, and, for recreation's sake, watching the processes by which weeds were converted into drugs of potency. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends. ~ Ogden Nash

Immanuel Kant lived with knowledge as with his lawfully wedded wife, slept with it in the same intellectual bed for forty years and begot an entire German race of philosophical systems. ~ Stefan Zweig

Well, Ms. Fontaine, you look damn good for a dead woman."
Her response was to narrow her eyes, arch a brow. "If that's some sort of cop humor, I'm afraid you'll have to translate. ~ Nora Roberts

Are we not all one flesh? One mind? A sword brings power. Knowledge brings coin. With either, one can make blood reckoned, can earn names. The only thing that differs between a noble man and a working man is that they have now, while the other does not have it yet. Such things can be taken. They are always taken. ~ Chris Galford

Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who has one-night stands, and instead of feeling guilty about it feels empowered by it. But I'm not. ~ Caprice Crane

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Huh? ~ Frank Beddor

I actually think there's an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older. ~ Jamie Lee Curtis

He had no intention of actually kissing her. Knowing Jenny, she probably put on arsenic tainted lipstick every morning. But she'd been the one making up reprobate stories about him for weeks and throwing herself at him all evening. ~ Anne Garboczi Evans