Joanne Fluke Quotes

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING FOR RED VELVET SURPRISE CUPCAKES 4 ounces cream cheese (I used Philadelphia Brand in the rectangular silver package - half a package was 4 ounces) ¼ cup salted butter (½ stick, 2 ounces, pound) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups powdered sugar (pack it down in the cup when you measure it) Place the cream cheese and the butter in a medium-size microwave-safe bowl. (I used a quart measuring cup.) Microwave on HIGH for 30 seconds. Stir. If you can stir the cream cheese and the butter smooth, take the bowl out and put it on the counter. If it's still not soft enough to stir, microwave on HIGH in 20-second intervals until it is. Add the vanilla extract to your bowl and stir that in. Add the powdered sugar, a half-cup at a time, stirring after each addition. Continue to add powdered sugar until the frosting is spreadable, not runny. ~ Joanne Fluke

Minnesotans who bought scenic art usually avoided winter scenes. Hannah didn't find that surprising. Minnesota winters were long. Why would they want to buy a painting that would constantly remind them of the bone-chilling cold, the heavy snow that had to be shoveled, and the necessity of dressing up in survival gear to do nothing more than take out the garbage? ~ Joanne Fluke

She was a level-headed woman who saw the glass as neither half empty nor half full, but rather a glass with something in it and room to pour in more ... ~ Joanne Fluke

Time & Money. They're always the deciding factors. ~ Joanne Fluke

three men can keep a secret, but only if two of them are dead. ~ Joanne Fluke

Corn Chowder This recipe is from Marjorie Hanks. She used to make it on the stove, but now that Luanne got her a slow cooker, she makes it this way. ½ cup diced cooked ham (or 6 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled) 2 cups peeled, diced potatoes ½ cup chopped onion 2 ten-ounce packages frozen whole-kernel corn 1 can (16-ounces) cream-style corn 1 Tablespoon brown sugar 1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce 1 teaspoon Season Salt (see Mrs. Knudson's recipe on backmatter) ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup chicken broth Spray the crock of a 4-quart slow cooker with Pam. Combine all ingredients in the crock-pot and stir well. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 7 hours. Yield: Makes 4 hearty servings. ~ Joanne Fluke

Investigating is a process of elimination. You have to explore all the possibilities, and whatever's left, no matter how implausible, has got to be it. ~ Joanne Fluke

Lecture your children every day. You may not know what they did wrong, but they do! ~ Joanne Fluke

Candy loved to shop and she couldn't seem to shop smiling. They'd gone out the front door of The Cookie Jar and into the next building over. There were party dresses on the mannequins in the windows, and Hannah has said they were going to buy something for her to wear to the party tomorrow night. ~ Joanne Fluke

The secret of high finance ... if you really need a loan, you won't qualify. And if you don't need a loan, all the lenders will line up to give you money. ~ Joanne Fluke

had the time to test every single one of the great family recipes you send. Chapter ~ Joanne Fluke

P.S. If it's not a secret, will you tell me how you got my dollhouse inside our living room last Christmas? I know its too big to fit down the chimney. I measured. ~ Joanne Fluke

You'll never see a hearse towing a U-Haul. ~ Joanne Fluke

Oh, my! Well . . . that ~ Joanne Fluke

At the same time, Italian sausage, breadsticks, antipasto, and spaghetti vied for air supremacy. ~ Joanne Fluke

If I ever see a man in a rug again, I'm not going to believe a single word he says! A man who lies about having hair will lie about anything. ~ Joanne Fluke

ORANGE JULIUS 3 cups orange juice 1 envelope dry Dream Whip (the kind that makes 2 cups) 1 package dry vanilla pudding (the kind that makes 2 cups) 3 more cups orange juice Pour the orange juice into a blender. Add the dry Dream Whip and the dry pudding. Blend it for one minute on low and another minute on medium speed. Pour the mixture in a 2-quart pitcher. Add another 3 cups of orange juice and stir well. Serve over ice. Yield: Makes almost 2 quarts. ~ Joanne Fluke

Solving crimes certainly wasn't as easy as they made it seem in the movies. ~ Joanne Fluke

She skinned her hair back into a ponytail, a style she knew was probably too young for her, but she planned to drive with her windows open and she could ditch the elastic band once she got to the lake. ~ Joanne Fluke

Conversation over coffee tended to be candid and invited confidences. ~ Joanne Fluke

Kids that age are very accepting. If we could just get them to keep that attitude, it might be a kinder world. ~ Joanne Fluke

For the life of her, she couldn't understand how such an obstinate, boneheaded chauvinist could make her pulse race and her insides turn to jelly. ~ Joanne Fluke

PANCAKES 3½ cups frozen hash brown potatoes 2 eggs (2 extra large or 3 small) ¼ cup grated onion (or ½ teaspoon onion powder) 1 teaspoon season salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 2 Tablespoons cracker crumbs (matzo meal or flour will also work) 1/8 cup butter (¼ stick, 1 ounce) for frying 1/8 cup good olive oil for frying Toppings for the Table: sour cream applesauce cherry sauce*** blueberry sauce*** apricot sauce*** Hannah's 1st Note: Great-Grandma ~ Joanne Fluke

Why were you smiling like that?" "Smiling like what?" "Like the cat that got into the cream pot. ~ Joanne Fluke

Good Friends are like sunshine. A day is gloomy without them. ~ Joanne Fluke

Hannah grabbed the scoop and exhumed the item that Moishe had buried. It wasn't a mouse, or a part of a mouse. It wasn't even a cricket, or a moth. It was a pristine nugget of his new senior cat food. Suddenly suspicious, she dug around a bit in the litter box, uncovering more evidence of Moishe's distaste. By his choice of burial spot, her cat was making a graphic comment about the palatability of his dinner. ~ Joanne Fluke

There was something wonderful about a blank sheet of notepaper. The lines were there, just waiting to be filled, and the page could turn into anything from a grocery list to the opening of The Great American Novel. The possibilities were endless. ~ Joanne Fluke

I can be nice on occasion," Mike said. ~ Joanne Fluke

There was no greater gift than making someone laugh. People who laughed were happy. ~ Joanne Fluke

Make sure you wear something appropriate, dear. You never know who you'll run into and it's always smart to look your best. ~ Joanne Fluke

Hannah! You've simply got to stop finding bodies. I swear you attract them like a magnet. If you're not careful, everyone's going to get the wrong impression of you." - Delores Swenson ~ Joanne Fluke

The next time you come to the Cookie Jar, the coffee's on me. You could probably bottle that stuff of yours and sell it for rat poison. ~ Joanne Fluke

Perhaps the mirror in Sally's dressing room had waved the wrong way and caused her to look larger than she actually was. And perhaps all that skipping had jumbled her brain and affected her ability to separate reality from wishful thinking. ~ Joanne Fluke

A man may plant a tree for a number of reasons. Perhaps he likes trees. Perhaps he wants shelter. Or perhaps he knows that someday he may need the firewood. ~ Joanne Harris

It's too early for strawberries. But the clearing is filled with their leaves and their little white flowers, like fallen stars. The wishing well was covered, too, so that only someone who knew it was there would have really noticed it. It looks like a barrow under the green; somewhere fairies or goblins might live. ~ Joanne Harris

From a very young age my mother persuaded me that I could write for fun, but I had to have a proper job - very good advice. ~ Joanne Harris

So I'm up the ghostie creek without an EMF meter ~ JoAnne Kenrick

Ya game is fine, but ya booze-eyes are a problem. Not like ya ta drink this much. I reckon ya banjo'd, so ya are. ~ JoAnne Kenrick

Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a, she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of consonants. ~ Christopher Moore

I didn't bring you here," he said. "You think you're Miss Special Destiny of the year?"
"No," I shot back, furious. "And I don't damn well want to be - whatever the hell you are. But sometimes there isn't a choice. Right?"
"Careful. You might accidentally make some sense. Ruin your reputation."
"You are infuriating!"
"Yep," he agreed. "It's been said. ~ Rachel Caine

Words are potential weapons so use them wisely. ~ Joanne Madeline Moore

Sometimes you do it to save face, thought Jerry, other times you just do it because you haven't done your job unless you've scared yourself to death. Other times again, you go in order to remind yourself that survival is a fluke. But mostly you go because the others go; for machismo; and because in order to belong you must share. ~ John Le Carre

Loki, that's me. Loki, the Light-Bringer, the misunderstood, the elusive, the handsome and modest hero of this particular tissue of lies. ~ Joanne Harris

He died. And waited. ~ James Herbert

I can smell her perfume, something flowery, too strong in this enclosed darkness. I wonder if this is temptation. If so, I am stone. ~ Joanne Harris

I added pieces the same way I'd constructed my body, from the inside out: boy-cut panties first (lacy), bra (sheer), stockings (thigh high), knee-length leather skirt (black), lime green midriff-baring shirt (polyester). David leaned against the wall and watched this striptease-in-reverse with fabulously expressive eyebrows slowly climbing toward heaven, I finished it off with a pair of strappy lime green three-inch heels, something from the Manolo Blahnik spring collection that I'd seen two months ago in Vogue.
He looked me over, blinked behind the glasses, and asked, "You're done?"
I took offense, "Yeah. You with the fashion police?"
"I don't think I'd pass the entrance exam." The eyebrows didn't come down. "I never knew you were so ... "
"Fashionable?"
"Not really the word I was thinking."
I struck a pose and looked at him from under my supernaturally lustrous eyelashes. "Come on, you know it's sexy."
"And that's sort of my point. ~ Rachel Caine

The largest and most rigorous study that is currently available in this area is the third one commissioned by the British Home Office (Kelly, Lovett, & Regan, 2005). The analysis was based on the 2,643 sexual assault cases (where the outcome was known) that were reported to British police over a 15-year period of time. Of these, 8% were classified by the police department as false reports. Yet the researchers noted that some of these classifications were based simply on the personal judgments of the police investigators, based on the victim's mental illness, inconsistent statements, drinking or drug use. These classifications were thus made in violation of the explicit policies of their own police agencies. There searchers therefore supplemented the information contained in the police files by collecting many different types of additional data, including: reports from forensic examiners, questionnaires completed by police investigators, interviews with victims and victim service providers, and content analyses of the statements made by victims and witnesses. They then proceeded to evaluate each case using the official criteria for establishing a false allegation, which was that there must be either "a clear and credible admission by the complainant" or "strong evidential grounds" (Kelly, Lovett, & Regan,2005). On the basis of this analysis, the percentage of false reports dropped to 2.5%."
Lonsway, Kimberly A., Joanne Archambault, and David Lisak. "False reports: ~ David Lisak

Yeah, well there's also a word for someone like you ... womaniser. ~ Joanne McClean

Winning once can be a fluke; winning twice proves you are the best. ~ Althea Gibson

Places do not lose their identity, however far one travels. It is the heart that begins to erode over time. The face in the hotel mirror seems blurred some mornings, as if by too many casual looks. By ten the sheets will be laundered, the carpet swept. The names on the hotel registers change as we pass. We leave no trace as we pass on. Ghostlike, we cast no shadow. ~ Joanne Harris

Please!" yelled Loki. "I am not being noble! ~ Joanne Harris

It may be something to do with my having been to a girls' school, but I'm far more comfortable making male friendships than female ones. My friends tend to be men and their significant others. ~ Joanne Harris

It was Day Three, Freshman Year, and I was a little bit lost in the school library,looking for a bathroom that wasn't full of blindingly shiny sophomores checking their lip gloss.
Day Three.Already pretty clear on the fact that I would be using secondary bathrooms for at least the next three years,until being a senior could pass for confidence.For the moment, I knew no one,and was too shy to talk to anyone. So that first sight of Edward: pale hair that looked like he'd just run his hands through it, paint-smeared white shirt,a half smile that was half wicked,and I was hooked.
Since, "Hi,I'm Ella.You look like someone I'd like to spend the rest of my life with," would have been totally insane, I opted for sitting quietly and staring.Until the bell rang and I had to rush to French class,completely forgetting to pee.
Edward Willing.Once I knew his name, the rest was easy.After all,we're living in the age of information. Wikipedia, iPhones, 4G ntworks, social networking that you can do from a thousand miles away.The upshot being that at any given time over the next two years, I could sit twenty feet from him in the library, not saying a word, and learn a lot about him.ENough, anyway, for me to become completely convinced that the Love at First Sight hadn't been a fluke.
It's pretty simple.Edward matched four and a half of my If My Prince Does, In Fact, Come Someday,It Would Be Great If He Could Meet These Five Criteria.
1. Interested in art. For me, it's ~ Melissa Jensen

A bigger hurdle, once we drill down into it, is the basic assumption that underlies the pipeline theory: that we are fair in the first place. ~ Joanne Lipman

A man who casts no shadow isn't really a man at all. ~ Joanne Harris

The battle of good and evil reduced to a fat woman standing in front of a chocolate shop, saying, Will I? Won't I? in pitiful indecision. ~ Joanne Harris

... my main objection to Mr. Graham's analogy was the implication that this 'dignity' was something one possessed or did not by a fluke of nature; and if one did not self-evidently have it, to strive after it would be as futile as an ugly woman trying to make herself beautiful. ~ Kazuo Ishiguro

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. Sex is more than an act of pleasure, its' the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can't take it. And at this moment you're a part of them. The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on. Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. ~ Joanne Woodward

Yr had a region called the Fear-bog. Lactamaeon had taken her there once to see the monsters and corpses of her nightmares accumulating there from year after year of terrifying dreams. They had swum through the almost solid ground.
She had said, What is that awful stench?
Shame and secrecy, Bird-one, shame and secrecy, he had answered. ~ Joanne Greenberg

Plus she did that stupid "Elf on the Shelf" thing and moved it every morning. It took another minute, but he finally found the bendy little freak hanging from the garland around one of her windows. ~ Joanne Jaytanie

There are so many ways to characterize evolutionary success. If one criterion is the number of millions of years that the species persists, we're still just infants. We're way too young of a species to tell if we were a creative fluke or if we have any staying power. ~ Greg Graffin

Jamie - "Shame the Bruins got punished by the Ducks last month."
I see the flash of arrogance return at lightning speed.
Wes - "That was a fluke. And a terrible call in the third. Your wing tripped over his own duck feet."
Jamie - "With a little help from your D-man."
Wes - "Oh fuck that. Twenty bucks says the Ducks don't make it past the first round this year."
Jamie - "Twenty is all you're willing to bet? Sounds like you're afraid. Twenty and a YouTube video proclaiming my greatness."
Wes - " Done, but when you lose, you make that video in a Bruins T-shirt."
Jamie - "Sure." I shrug. And just like that, the night gets easier. ~ Sarina Bowen

Pride has a terrible price," I told her. "People with pride are so easy to defeat. They never see it coming. A little cockroach takes down the mighty giant. Of course, it's best to make it look like a fluke, an accident, and run and hide as quickly as you can." Kelly looked doubtful. "But then no one knows you've done it. They still won't respect you. How can you advance, live up to your potential, and take your rightful place in the world if you hide in the woodwork like a cockroach?" I was feeling really uncomfortable with her logic. All this talk of respect was bullshit. She wasn't getting my point here. "There's a reason pride is a sin," I told her. "The inner strength you feel is deceptive. It actually creates enormous vulnerability, sets you up for a fall of your own making. ~ Debra Dunbar

I find him cracking open a beer in the kitchen.
Jeez, doesn't the guy know the dangers of alcohol poisoning? ~ Joanne McClean

A named thing is a tamed thing. ~ Joanne Harris

What is it that the slave dreams? The slave dreams of being the master. ~ Joanne Harris

I stared at Amaury, maintaining a half-smile and attitude until Joanne got back. Then I said, "I understand we have to talk to the chief suckhead of New Orleans." When in doubt, go for crass. ~ Faith Hunter

What is a writer of fiction but a liar with a licence? ~ Joanne Harris

I never thought I'd have you here. But I don't ever want to live in a world without you in it. You don't have to be with me. You just have to be. ~ Joanne Kennedy

People must know who dem be, must remember what important." - Tanty to Nikki in Oh Gad! ~ Joanne C. Hillhouse

Curiosity breeds discovery. ~ Joanne Owen

[F]or several thousand years we have been obsessed with a false humility - on the one hand, putting ourselves down as mere creatures" who came into this world by the whim of God or the fluke of blind forces, and on the other, conceiving ourselves as separate personal egos fighting to control the physical world. We have lacked the real humility of recognizing that we are members of the biosphere, the "harmony of contained conflicts" in which we cannot exist at all without the cooperation of plants, insects, fish, cattle, and bacteria. In the same measure, we have lacked the proper self-respect of recognizing that I, the individual organism, am a structure of such fabulous ingenuity that it calls the whole universe into being. In the act of putting everything at a distance so as to describe and control it, we have orphaned ourselves both from the surrounding world and from our own bodies - leaving "I" as a discontented and alienated spook, anxious, guilty, unrelated, and alone. ~ Alan W. Watts

I have a "carpe diem" mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet. (Oct. 28th is officially Slap A Dead Poet Day in our Family now) ~ Joanne Sherman

Sensible. Conservative and sensible and mature and *wrong*. Very much in character with Joanne. ~ Octavia E. Butler

Not all marketing people are writers, but all writers must learn to be marketers. ~ Joanne Kraft

You don't learn about war by sitting in libraries. Though if people spent more time in libraries, maybe there would be fewer wars. ~ Joanne Hall

The real magic - the magic we'd lived with all our lives, my mother's magic of charms and cantrips, of salt by the door and a red silk sachet to placate the little gods - had turned sour on us that summer, somehow, like a spider that turns from good luck to bad at the stroke of midnight, spinning its web to catch our dreams. And for every little spell of charm, for every card dealt and every rune cast and every sign scratched against a doorway to divert the path of malchance, the wind just blew a little harder, tugging at our clothes, sniffing at us like a hungry dog, moving us here and moving us there. ~ Joanne Harris

As writers, we should remind ourselves, and each other, that Jane Austen and JK Rowling got rejected by publishers, too. ~ Joanne Van Leerdam

she couldn't find a decent job without references at the age of nineteen had grown and grown, until she became a headhunter for the oddest and most elite array of clientele. She had an absolute genius for bringing the right people together. In the ~ Joanne Reid

And while she read her cards and muttered to herself, I would leaf through my collection of cookery cards, incanting the names of never-tasted dishes like mantras, like the secret formulae of life. Boeuf en daube. Champignons farcis à la grèque. Escalopes à la Reine. Crème caramel. Schokoladentorte. Tiramisu. In the secret kitchen of my imagination I made them all, tested, tasted them, added to my collection of recipes wherever we went, pasted them into my scrapbook like photographs of old friends. They gave weight to my wanderings, the glossy clippings shining out from between the smeary pages like signposts along our erratic path.
I bring them out now like long-lost friends. Soupe de tomates à la gasconne, served with fresh basil and a slice of tartelette méridonale, made on biscuit-thin pâte brisée and lush with the flavors of olive oil and anchovy and the rich local tomatoes, garnished with olives and roasted slowly to produce a concentration of flavors that seems almost impossible. ~ Joanne Harris

The process of giving is without limits. ~ Joanne Harris

The untried recruits learned about fear. It wasn't some occasional leap of terror, a startled response; it was the unbearable tension of being forced to remain in a terrifying place, your mind the only thing preventing you from throwing down your rifle and running, anywhere, a flight of atavistic self-preservation. ~ Joanne Van Os