Jack Benny Show Rochester Quotes

I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me. ~ Jack Benny

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper. ~ Jack Benny

I was turning down cigarette campaigns before it became fashionable. I wouldn't let CBS Radio sell 'The Stan Freberg Show' to R.J. Reynolds and American Tobacco, which had sponsored Jack Benny, the man I replaced. ~ Stan Freberg

The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot. ~ Jack Benny

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. ~ George Burns

I have a very strong visual memory of the first time I made him laugh. That was remarkable. I was like, "Oh, God, I just made Jack Benny laugh." ~ Harry Shearer

I love getting on You Tube to look at the old comics. I am in my element seeing guys like Jack Benny and Phil Silvers give interviews. ~ Bruce Forsyth

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes. ~ Fred Allen

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy. ~ Jack Benny

I consider you as old as you look and feel. And in that case I feel - I feel I'm about 39, like Jack Benny. ~ Joan Collins

The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences. ~ Bob Newhart

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old. ~ Jack Benny

There's no greater show on earth than observing human nature ~ Benny Bellamacina

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat. ~ Fred Allen

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. ~ Jack Benny

Benny sat on the floor next to Mrs. Collins and said, "Would you come and visit us sometime? I'd like to show you our boxcar. You know we ran away once, too."
Mrs. Collins smiled. "Benny, I would love to visit you and to hear about your adventures."
"We've had lots of them," Violet said. "But you know, I think this one was the best."

The Mystery of the Singing Ghost ~ Gertrude Chandler Warner

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause. ~ Jack Benny

I'm not deciding what the artist is going to write about because it's the artist. They're gonna have to sing that song for the rest of their life. When they're old and they're 80 and they have their show in Vegas, they're gonna have to sing that song for the rest of their life. ~ Benny Blanco

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like ... well, Eichmann maybe. ~ Jack Benny

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he's the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I've ever met. And I'll say that to his face - even if it costs me my job. ~ Jack Benny

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. ~ Jack Benny

I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip. ~ Jack Benny

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian. ~ Jack Benny

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head. ~ Bob Newhart

Stand-up comedy is a very hard thing on the spirit. There are people who transcend it, like Jack Benny and Steve Martin, but in its essence, it's soul-destroying. It tends to turn people into control freaks. ~ Mike Nichols

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. ~ Bob Hope

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early. ~ Jack Benny

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray. ~ Jack Benny

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more. ~ Jack Benny

Listen to John Coltrane enough and after two bars, just two bars at any place, and you know that's him. We all have signature things that happen to be similar that you can predict and you try to stay away from that except the rhythms: those pauses, they're part of my signature, the part where I know when I say nothing, I already painted enough, led enough and I don't even have to say anything. But those pauses don't belong to me. Jack Benny was one of the first guys in comedy to make the anticipation so great that during the pause people start to laugh before the execution. ~ Bill Cosby

I always used to sit next to Mel Blanc when we'd do the shows. When you have Jack Benny on one side and Mel Blanc on the other, you're not going to go far wrong. ~ Harry Shearer

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers. ~ Jack Benny

When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him! ~ Jack Benny

I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that ... I've always done 'less is more.' ~ Albert Brooks

Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere ~ Jack Benny

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs. ~ Jack Benny

I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist. ~ Gilbert Gottfried

I play trumpet. And I took all the music courses in college, so I can also play the string instruments, keyboard, the brass and woodwinds - but only well enough to teach them. If you put a violin in front of me, you wouldn't say, 'My God, that guy can play.' It'd probably sound more like Jack Benny. ~ Jon Tester

There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc. ~ Jack Benny

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. ~ Jack Benny

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in. ~ Jack Benny

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me. ~ Bob Hope