Humor Reality Quotes

One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about the relationships between the main characters and their reactions to the situations they would face; there was a lot of comedy in that show without ever breaking its reality. ~ J.J. Abrams

History is gossip that's been legitimized, and that's really the case when you get into some of the Roman historians. Wow! They'd be right at home on reality tv. ~ Esther M. Friesner

It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.) ~ John Duover

I see you brought along your violent little girlfriend. What a nice surprise! - Saint Dane (The Reality Bug) ~ D.J. MacHale

There is no pathos more bitter than that of parting from someone we have never met. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ~ Melissa Jo Peltier

We were not actually famous, I have to add. People were just drunk. ~ John Duover

Human history is full of depressing things like colonization, disease, racism, sexism ... inventions of things which they had no idea how to handle (the atomic bomb, the Internet, the semicolon) ... And through it all there has always been some truly awful food. ~ Matt Haig

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget ~ Jeff Kinney

Magoo's appeal lies in our hostility toward an older generation. But he's not only nearsighted physically. His mind is selective of what it sees, too. That is where the humor, the satire lies, in the difference between what he thinks he sees and reality as we see it. ~ Jim Backus

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. ~ Tracy Morgan

Basically, Sherri's idea had to do with bringing Fat's mind down from the cosmic and the abstract to the particular. She had hatched out the practical notion that nothing is more real than a large World War Two Soviet tank. ~ Philip K. Dick

I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole." ~ Zach Galifianakis

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it. ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

If you can kill it, or it can kill you, it's real. ~ Laini Taylor

As an author I'm in my head all day and I worry that I lose touch with reality. But then my dog pees on my shoe and I know I've found it again. ~ Michelle M. Pillow

When you've learnt the lesson, that's the lesson ~ John Brett Cohen

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. ~ Robert Collier

Humor (is) the process that allows one to brush reality aside when it gets too distressing. ~ Andre Breton

How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn't make it a leg. ~ Abraham Lincoln

When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day. ~ Jay Wickre

For people who like that sort of thing, that's the sort of thing they like. ~ William F. Buckley, Jr.

Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn't really exist. ~ Laurie Notaro

The only way to bear the overwhelming pain of oppression is by telling, in all its detail, in the presence of witnesses and in a context of resistance, how unbearable it is. If we attempt to craft resistance without understanding this task, we are collectively vulnerable to all the errors of judgement that unresolved trauma generates in individuals. It is part of our task as revolutionary people, people who want deep-rooted, radical change, to be as whole as it is possible for us to be. This can only be done if we face the reality of what oppression really means in our lives, not as abstract systems subject to analysis, but as an avalanche of traumas leaving a wake of devastation in the lives of real people who nevertheless remain human, unquenchable, complex and full of possibility. ~ Aurora Levins Morales

Alone
everything changes.
Some might call it distorted reality
but it's exactly the place I need to be. ~ Ellen Hopkins

You can choose daily to brace up and face the harsh realities of life . . .
Or while away the days that come by daydreaming . . .
Better still, you can make your dreams your realities. ~ Ufuoma Apoki

Media people should have long noses like an elephant to smell out politicians, mayors, prime ministers and businessmen. We need to know the reality, the good and the bad, not just the appearance. ~ Dalai Lama

It's a good harsh reality, because my family keeps me very grounded. ~ Chloe Grace Moretz

Only hinted at in some of these tales, and clearly stated in others, it is apparent that there was a long and continuing conflict between paganism and Christianity in the early centuries A.D. This may also be the explanation behind other well creation tales, such as the slaying by St Barry of a 'great serpent' in County Roscommon. The saint thrust his crozier at it before it disappeared into Lough Lagan, and where his knee touched the ground, a holy well, Tobar Barry, sprang up. Although the serpent may represent paganism, and the saint's victory is therefore the victory of Christianity over paganism, we cannot entirely ignore the possibility that some of the serpents in similar Irish tales may have been real water monsters, which are still seen from time to time in the lakes of Ireland and Scotland. These eerie, ugly monsters, with their aura of primeval mystery, appropriately symbolize the uncouth savagery which the Christians attributed to all non-Christian beliefs; but that is not to say that the monsters were totally symbolic and did not have a reality of their own. ~ Colin Bord

People would tell you how to live life and what to do. Don't listen them. Just do what is right and what your heart wants. They will ultimately agree with you ~ Laksh Kishore

Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you. ~ Jerry Coleman

Well, he's scraping up what there is. Reckon we'll need every ready hand when it comes to a battle. Yours too, maybe.'
'Oh, you'll have to hold me back!' Calder slapped the hilt of his sword. 'Can't wait to get started!'
'You ever even drawn the fucking thing?' sneered Tenways, stretching his neck out to spit again.
'Just the once. I had to trim your daughter's hairy cunt before I could get at it. ~ Joe Abercrombie

Agnosticism is epistemologically self-contradictory on its own assumptions because its claim to make no assertion about ultimate reality rests upon a most comprehensive assertion about ultimate reality. ~ Cornelius Van Til

Perhaps he was probing the enigma of why men fall in love with their dreams, which are then so destroyed by harsh realities that their dreamers become cuckolded by their own illusions. Perhaps... ~ Juan Filloy

You know what I'm not going to do I'm not going to tell you every move I'm going to make. This isn't a reality TV show. Some things are just best left unsaid. I'll handle the club the way I deem is necessary. They just need to play. ~ Clint Hurdle

But morning casts a harsh light over things, and the stark reality is that some things are easier to walk away from than to lose forever. But that doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt. ~ Andyoureturntome

Last night, at a press conference, the City Council reminded everyone that the Dog Park is there for our community enjoyment and use, and so it is important that no one enter, look at, or think about the Dog Park. They are adding a new advanced camera system to keep an eye on the great black walls of the Dog Park at all times, and if anyone is caught trying to enter it, they will be forced to enter it, and will never be heard from again. If you see hooded figures in the Dog Park, no you didn't. The hooded figures are perfectly safe, and should not be approached at any costs. The City Council ended the conference by devouring a raw potato in quick, small bites of their sharp teeth and rough tongues. No follow-up questions were asked, although there were a few follow-up screams.
We have also received word via encrypted radio pulses about the opening of a new store: Lenny's Bargain House of Gardenwares and Machine Parts, which until recently was that abandoned warehouse the government was using for the highly classified and completely secret tests I was telling you about last week. Lenny's will serve as a helpful new source for all needs involving landscaping and lawn-decorating materials and also as a way for the government to unload all the machines and failed tests and dangerous substances that otherwise would be wasted on things like "safe disposal" or "burying in a concrete tomb until the sun goes out."
Get out to Lenny's for their big grand opening sale. Find eig ~ Joseph Fink

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. ~ John Kenneth Galbraith

The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~ Douglas Adams

Science and religion both make claims about the fundamental workings of the universe. Although these claims are not a priori incompatible (we could imagine being brought to religious belief through scientific investigation), I will argue that in practice they diverge. If we believe that the methods of science can be used to discriminate between fundamental pictures of reality, we are led to a strictly materialist conception of the universe. While the details of modern cosmology are not a necessary part of this argument, they provide interesting clues as to how an ultimate picture may be constructed. ~ Sean Carroll

Sure, best seller. I'd love to knock Stephen King off the top of the list. I know I won't, but, after all, I spend my life inventing a different reality. ~ Tim O'Brien

I'm already saved. Hallelujah, praise the Lord. Now unlock that door and set me free, brother. ~ Kerrelyn Sparks

The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesn't mean that something is wrong. What a relief. Finally somebody told the truth. Suffering is part of life, and we don't have to feel it's happening because we personally made the wrong move. In reality, however, when we feel suffering, we think that something is wrong. As long as we're addicted to hope, we feel that we can tone our experience down or liven it up or change it somehow, and we continue to suffer a lot. ~ Pema Chodron

Looking back at that moment, I understand that I had lived in books so long, in my narrow university setting, that I had become compressed by them internally. Suddenly, in this echoing house of Byzantium-one of the wonders of history-my spirit leaped out of its confines. I knew in that instant that, whatever happened, I could never go back to my old constraints. I wanted to follow life upward, to expand with it outward, the way this enormous interior swelled upward and outward. My heart swelled with it... ~ Elizabeth Kostova

My mother is European and expresses her love through food and cuddling. She wasn't the type of mother who would make it to school plays or soccer games, but if you wanted to stay at home sick, she was your girl. Whenever you'd go up to her room to cuddle with her, she'd pull out a Kit Kat or Snickers bar from her night table and look at you with dancing eyes. ~ Chelsea Handler

In my experience, if people don't have a sense of humor, they are usually not very good scientists, either. ~ Andre Geim

In one move, she screwed me out of two beds. The best hookers in Vegas couldn't pull that off. ~ Flint Ory

It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds. ~ Viktor E. Frankl

You look as scary as a buttered muffin. ~ Tamora Pierce

Gifted people of discernment, intelligence, and talent flourish in virtually every occupation. Every field produces perceptive and prescient persons whom exhibit the rare capacity to observe what eludes most people. ~ Kilroy J. Oldster

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff. ~ George Carlin

Today's enterprise IT architecture is about integrating systems to meet business needs. Consequently, IT architects can't - and don't - live in a vacuum. To address that reality, Catalyst Conference 2006 will delve into strategic infrastructure technologies with the depth to which our clients have grown accustomed. With the larger number of Cross-Cutting Concerns sessions, we'll also clearly illustrate how these technologies relate to each other, and how roles, geographies, and business processes intersect within an enterprise. ~ Jamie Lewis